ATK Girlfriends Virtual Vacation?
Relationship venting thread...help me GAF.
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ATK Girlfriends Virtual Vacation?
Alpha Centauri
Member
I slept in the same bed as a platonic female friend. We didn't fuck...
So there's that. You have hope OP, keep your head up!
She did end up giving me a blowjob though.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Very much in love after one month.... Staying on bed with another guy.....
I mean come on.... X_x
There's a limit to a lack of common sense a person can have... COME ON.....
I mean come on.... X_x
There's a limit to a lack of common sense a person can have... COME ON.....
Cause you know she won't?
Update: She just called me and said she has had a talk with her friend. About how it feels awkward on being on the trip. He was all ok with everything surrounding the situation, no problems at all, they are on good terms and she is taking an early flight home tomorrow.
I really encouraged her to stay to have a good time and some sun, but apparently she got homesick and wanted to come home either way.
I really encouraged her to stay to have a good time and some sun, but apparently she got homesick and wanted to come home either way.
Count Dookkake
Member
Interesting development.
He will try one more gesture before letting her go.
He will try one more gesture before letting her go.
I'm sure he was lol
Good news for you bro. Sounds like she is doing the sensible thing, probably shouldn't have gone in the first place if she felt that way, but hey better late than never.
Let's hope she follows through.
Xisiqomelir
Member
Promote this junior
TheSpoiler
Member
See, now I'm confused. I thought it was too late to back out before, but now that's she's there, she's homesick enough to just book it home?
My dude, that's gonna cause some issues in the future.
Honestly, she could know he wants her and just milking it for all its worth.
TheSpoiler
Member
Couple "madly in love" after a single month of dating.
Girl has a trip with longtime friend lined up that they've been planning prior to the OP's inclusion.
Girl doesn't want to back out on the trip because it was set up before the dating, so OP and her have a cry session before she leaves.
She assures him nothing is going to happen constantly.
They stay for a day or so.
She gets too homesick and leaves. Friend is supposedly okay with it.
Yo, absolutely wat?
Girl has a trip with longtime friend lined up that they've been planning prior to the OP's inclusion.
Girl doesn't want to back out on the trip because it was set up before the dating, so OP and her have a cry session before she leaves.
She assures him nothing is going to happen constantly.
They stay for a day or so.
She gets too homesick and leaves. Friend is supposedly okay with it.
Yo, absolutely wat?
To me a blowjob is way more intimate than fucking. You have to put the penis in the mouth. I wouldn't do that unless I knew someone really well. Pee comes out of there.
"Friends" sharing the same bed... more like friends with benefits.
You're going to get hurt. Bail out. It will hurt at first, but not as much as you'll be hurt by trying to see this thing through.
edit: OK I see your update. I still don't know; you still have to question her motives heading into it. Definitely gives things some time before going to far in the relationship.
You're going to get hurt. Bail out. It will hurt at first, but not as much as you'll be hurt by trying to see this thing through.
edit: OK I see your update. I still don't know; you still have to question her motives heading into it. Definitely gives things some time before going to far in the relationship.
Well. I have in no way been encouraging her to cancel the trip, as I said, I rather encouraged her to stay.
We just had a Skype-session where she told me to meet her up at the airport and she told me how great it feels to be on her way home to see me, that she misses me etc.
It feels great. I am happy. She is either coming tomorrow or on sunday.
Case closed now. Thanks for your support.
Hmmm best of luck dude.
I think a lot of us here are just jealous and cynical. Usually when shit like this happens in a relationship the worst case scenario comes to pass. I hate lucky pricks like you. That's MY venting
it's possible that she realized that the setting was too inappropriate once she was there. Hawaii, luxury setting and a shared bed? It's not uncommon that the guy think he's entitled to the girl after throwing so much her way. She might have been in denial, or naive and come around once everything started to sink in.
No it's really not. Best of luck to you.
Maybe OP's anxieties got to her and made her realize how shady it all looked once she saw it.
Even if OP trusts her (as in, she only sees the guy as a friend and simply found the offer for a trip all expenses paid too good to turn down), he shouldn't have to trust the friendzoned guy, who was maybe hoping for an opportunity to get her drunk.
EchoChamber
Member
Maybe the rich guy is a nice guy after all.
Same thoughts. This will totally one up in an argument as ammunition p
Sounds good to me OP.
You give some low-grade advice/feedback in these threads man, seriously.
The girl felt committed, she went on the trip, while on the trip she felt wrong about it, she's coming home.
This is a positive thing much more than a negative, what part of this is "gonna cause issues".
Happened to me. 2 year relationship, our lives went in different directions, still good friends.
It happens.
You give some low-grade advice/feedback in these threads man, seriously.
The girl felt committed, she went on the trip, while on the trip she felt wrong about it, she's coming home.
This is a positive thing much more than a negative, what part of this is "gonna cause issues".
Happened to me. 2 year relationship, our lives went in different directions, still good friends.
It happens.
Ron Mexico
Member
Going to be the contrarian again in a totally different way.
I'd be concerned that she's jumping on a plane back over a relationship that's only a month old. Sounds like there's a ton of potential for being over-invested in a very short period of time. My fear would be a relationship where the emotional intensity of every decision is cranked up to 11.
A healthier relationship, even in its infancy, would have called for her to keep the plans that were already made previously. If she says there's nothing going on, there's nothing going on. If you don't believe that, your relationship has problems beyond this trip. It's really that simple.
Also the amount of projection from the overwhelming majority of these replies is staggering. I can't tell whether it's jealousy, fear, insecurity or what but more than half of these replies are essentially saying "I have no real insight into any of this, so let me throw in some cringe-worthy buzzwords and apologize to OP out of a mock sincerity"
I'd be concerned that she's jumping on a plane back over a relationship that's only a month old. Sounds like there's a ton of potential for being over-invested in a very short period of time. My fear would be a relationship where the emotional intensity of every decision is cranked up to 11.
A healthier relationship, even in its infancy, would have called for her to keep the plans that were already made previously. If she says there's nothing going on, there's nothing going on. If you don't believe that, your relationship has problems beyond this trip. It's really that simple.
Also the amount of projection from the overwhelming majority of these replies is staggering. I can't tell whether it's jealousy, fear, insecurity or what but more than half of these replies are essentially saying "I have no real insight into any of this, so let me throw in some cringe-worthy buzzwords and apologize to OP out of a mock sincerity"
Over-investment is only really an issue if it isn't reciprocated and/or it causes those involved to make harmful rash decisions.
Rushing home from a pre-planned holiday doesn't seem like a harmful choice to me. The girl I met and fell in love with (reciprocated) after 1-2 months had a pre-planned trip to visit her sister. She left 10 days into our relationship proper and went to Australia for two weeks.
We Skyped every evening, we emailed/sent texts constantly, I even stayed at her place while she was away as it was nicer than where I was at the time and it felt better to be close to her somehow.
We did make some errors though, due to the being so caught up in each other. I think we would have lasted longer if we'd been more level headed, but I also wouldn't change what we had in the early days simply because it was so fucking wonderful.
That kind of intense love doesn't happen often, I think experiencing throwing caution to the wind in a situation like this is an incredibly unique thing and comes as close to aspirations of movie love that many secretly long for.
I think your perspective is a good one, just offering a different one.
YOLO, or something. :3
Right, it happens in every relationship thread here. It's pretty sad.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
This is beyond idiotic. The insane amount of cheating that happens in the world, thinking this situation has all sorts of red flags is completely normal. What isn't normal is someone acting like this is totally ok and being surprised that most think otherwise, even chastising said people. I'm sure there might be a few salty dudes since this is a video game forum but pretending this is ok is delusional to the points of hysterical levels. The amount of things that I have seen in regards to what people do and say when it comes to cheating from very short term, long term, fiances, married etc is incredible in too many ways and things have happened for far less.. let alone a fucking 1 month relationship. I was in Paris on vacation 2 months back where a girl asked me to go to her place. She sent me a message on fb once I got home, and she's apparently married.. something she conveniently forgot to mention or hint at when we were hanging. Not saying anything has happened in regards to OP since I'm not a psychic though.
I hope for the best for OP. The reason some people are taking the piss or screwing around is because most of the time people who make relationship topics on gaf don't listen all that much to anyone (or not at all). Some guy had thousands of replies telling him how to handle a situation well and when his girl came home, and then he responded with fancy a dick? People who make these topics generally don't listen to advice given or are passive on it and listen to the people who think exactly like they did before making the topic to reinforce what they had originally thought. So people have a little fun. Some even use comedy to make a point. There is known profession as comedians, they do something similar. Not sure if you've heard of it? Plus if someone wants no one to take the piss, then they would ask their closest friends not make a topic on gaf with hundreds of thousands of users. Not saying OP complained, just addressing your point.
Get out of here with this garbage idealism that this type of scenario is ok and thinking otherwise is cringeworthy, jelousy or awful etc. You can think this situation is fine but chastising everyone that the only reason is because of the reasons I bolded is really stupid.
Ron Mexico
Member
The difference is some of us have been there. Said it elsewhere but the thread is huge now so the tl;dr is I traveled extensively with a platonic friend, including once internationally within the first month of meeting my SO. Continued the trip anyway.
I was the type of guy I (completely unapologetically) chastised when I was younger and inexperienced. I thought I had the entire world figured out and you can fuck right off if you were going to tell me otherwise at that point. Grew up. Learned some things. Fell in love. Learned some things. Got married. Learned some things. Got divorced. Learned a lot of things. Know enough know to know there's still plenty I don't know. Now I'm in a better place that I could have imagined and if those experiences were the cost, sign me up and I'll do it all again. I'm not preaching from some idealist ivory tower. I learned through seeing plenty of shit. Is what it is.
Essentially I don't disagree that the overwhelming majority won't listen to a goddamn thing in any of these "advice" threads, but if you honestly think the bulk of those responses were taking the piss for comedic value as you say, then there's absolutely comedy, just not in the way you're imagining.
Some of you guys speak about past relationships like traumatized war veterans.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
The thing is you are a massive outlier. I know one friend that was in a long term relationship that worked out, but I wouldn't advise it based off him when I know for example 30-40 other examples when people end up cheating/breaking up in awful manners.
You have a very bitter/juvenile view of relationships, imo.
And your ideas about civil discussion are ridiculous.
Lol rich guy can pay for champagne and her trip but not seperate beds? Smooth asshole. No i would not be comfortable with this at all and im not even the jealous type. Buuut .... you have only been dating for a month and she planned this trip before you met. So that means this guy has been in the friendzone for five years. I would not worry about it too much.
Always wanted one of those platonic blowjobs. I imagine it's like sex with a hooker.
Ron Mexico
Member
^
Exhibit A.
Exhibit A.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
This whole thing is weird. Y'all are weird.
I really hope everything works out for you guys and you're a one in a million couple who met and were just perfect for each other.
But you need to read back that quote and see how it raises major red flags. By saying you're very much in love with someone you've known for 4 weeks you're implying that you've already made a major emotional commitment to this person. I genuinely wish you the best, but just be careful.
We've seen some shit.
davidwhangchoi
Member
LOL
There is something going on there.
Nathan_Drake
Member
That is possible or nothing happened. That is the problem if you are in a committed relationship you don't put yourself in a situation where you create despair and doubt in your partner. Anyone would worry themselves sick if they were home while their SO is out vacationing with someone of the opposite sex. It is not a considerate thing to do. He should ask himself if he would do it to her and if he wouldn't then this relationship is unbalanced. Everyone is insecure to a degree but this situation would drive anyone crazy. I would tell her to have fun and deuces. So many people would not do this to him and he should find one of those people. It is not about what might of happened but that fact she is not considerate of his feelings. No ultimatum should have been given but when she left so would have my respect for her. Just my opinion but I also subscribe to going all in and committing to each other. It may hurt more but it also feels better.
Do you sleep in the same bed?
I have before and nothing frisky has happened. I am not saying my experiences relate to OP's, all I am saying is that not everyone has a hard and fast rule about their SOs going off with friends.
Ehh, just as likely she believed him when he told her it was a friendly trip, then he started hitting on her or even propositioned her and she realized it was time to go.
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