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[Maximo]

Is this real life, OP must be playing.

 

[Beefy]

If you really like this girl OP, give her some space and distance to let her fix her personal shit and to make sure you aren't just some rebound. Getting deeply involved in their business, or letting her move in with you when she's fresh off the baggage of a breakup, is a sure fire way to fuck things up. She's not going anywhere. If she is really as in to you as you are into her, she'll be there when the dust settles.

That said, thisisneogaf.gif so I totally expect this and any other sensible advice in this thread go ignored and the next update will involve an engagement ring and/or a pregnancy.

We are going to get a thread were the OP says his "gf" doesn't know if her pregnancy is down to him or her ex.

 

[Veitsev]

"She moved in with me while also still living there! Isn't it great!"

I can see it now.

more like

"I agreed to cover her share of the exboyfriend's rent and we moved in together! She is still spending the night back there a few nights a week though because she says she wants to spend time with her roommates/pets/fuckelse"

 

[richardhawk]

Have sex with her Ex. Not sure what that will do but fuck it. Let's see how weird you can make it.

 

[Kitoro]

"Ignore the bad
Embrace the good
Hope you don't get fucked over"

I predict she randomly, one day, stops replying to your messages.

I'm always prepared for that, and I'd be alright with that, if it's what she thinks will make her happiest. I want her to be happy at the end of the day, and, as I said, I'm not at all desperate.

 

[LumpOfCole]

If you submit a request to NASA to send you a satellite image of her home, what they will send you is an image on a map that shows a distinctively red spot about the size of a couple football fields put together.

At that point, you could take that image to a forensic expert, who will digitally enlarge that image to show you that the red spot is actually a tightly condensed field of approximately 4.6 million red flags.

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

I've been dating numerous people over the last 6 months since getting divorced, and before that, I've been in multiple 2+ year relationships, in addition to my 6 year relationship/3 year marriage.

I'm not in the slightest bit desperate; I just really find this girl to be incredible, and, shit situation aside, is exactly what I've always hoped to find as far as personality, positivity, warmth, and beauty goes.

Uhuhh.. OP how is the sex fam? My guess is top tier.

 

[WorldStar]

is exactly what I've always hoped to find as far as personality, positivity, warmth, and beauty goes.

You've always hoped to find a seemingly upbeat hot chick who loves to fuck various dudes on the side?

Come to Hollywood brah

 

[dantevsninjas]

Put a lock on the bedroom door, put his shit out by the couch, and stop paying for his share of the rent. He'll be ran out in a week. Done.


Something else is going on here.

 

[levious]

As for the ex, yes, he's been in denial mode this whole time. He thinks she's just going through a phase and will settle back into her comfort zone in due time, despite the fact that she's openly been spending multiple nights at my house and going on numerous full-day/night dates on weekends.

Also, the reason they share such a small bed is because they just literally moved into the apartment two months ago and have been so busy that they haven't even really had time to properly unpack and shop for essentials like a bigger bed.

Well I guess once they find time to go shopping for a bigger bed together this will all get better.

 

[Frozenprince]

"Hey, this is fun, and I dig you a lot. But, this whole ex situation, you need to deal with that. I'm not one for games, and until that is all settled I think I'm just making it more complicated."

This. You NEED distance. She very clearly has shit to work through, she needs to do it herself or with just the two of them. Your involvement does nothing but make things more complicated. This includes making them more complicated, for you.

Bail out until shit is settled and if she's really into you she'll understand and be there once this is over.

If not, you've got a solid answer on things.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

She's been sleeping on the couch some nights, but that's not good for anyone's back, and it's admitting defeat to the ex. He should be on that couch, as that's about what his rent contribution basically affords.

Dude. I'm sorry you are in a shitty situation and it is bothering you but come on man! Are you serious with defending her sleepin in the bed with her ex because its hard on her back to sleep on the couch?

 

[Jarrod38]

Put a lock on the bedroom door, put his shit out by the couch, and stop paying for his share of the rent. He'll be ran out in a week. Done.


Something else is going on here.

That would be illegal.

 

[Soul Beat]

She's been sleeping on the couch some nights, but that's not good for anyone's back, and it's admitting defeat to the ex. He should be on that couch, as that's about what his rent contribution basically affords.

Either way, one of them needs to get out, for the sake of each of their own well being.

Wait...what?

Why the hell does that matter? Is she that prideful?

 

[SirClinksAlot]

I just can't get over two adults sleeping in a fucking twin bed. I don't know how the fuck they can do that broken up or not. You go to fucking target or walmart and get a cheap air mattress for like $30.

Also if they are both on the lease she will have to pay something (im sure its in the lease) to get out of it.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

She's been sleeping on the couch some nights, but that's not good for anyone's back, and it's admitting defeat to the ex. He should be on that couch, as that's about what his rent contribution basically affords.

Either way, one of them needs to get out, for the sake of each of their own well being.

So your "girlfriend" still cares enough to play these kind of bullshit games with her ex? Is this what makes her incredible?

 

[Sephzilla]

As for the ex, yes, he's been in denial mode this whole time. He thinks she's just going through a phase and will settle back into her comfort zone in due time, despite the fact that she's openly been spending multiple nights at my house and going on numerous full-day/night dates on weekends.

Also, the reason they share such a small bed is because they just literally moved into the apartment two months ago and have been so busy that they haven't even really had time to properly unpack and shop for essentials like a bigger bed.

 

[Seesaw15]

I've been dating numerous people over the last 6 months since getting divorced, and before that, I've been in multiple 2+ year relationships, in addition to my 6 year relationship/3 year marriage.

I'm not in the slightest bit desperate; I just really find this girl to be incredible, and, shit situation aside, is exactly what I've always hoped to find as far as personality, positivity, warmth, and beauty goes.

What are the ages of everyone involved OP?

 

[dantevsninjas]

That would be illegal.

How would it be illegal? She's not denying him access to the apartment, just to her bedroom.

 

[Frozenprince]

Wait...what?

Why the hell does that matter? Is she that prideful?

Literally every post is more red flags.

 

[off duty ninja]

She's been sleeping on the couch some nights, but that's not good for anyone's back, and it's admitting defeat to the ex. He should be on that couch, as that's about what his rent contribution basically affords.

Either way, one of them needs to get out, for the sake of each of their own well being.

So she is sleeping with him still...out of spite??

 

[Valtýr]

Have her talk to the landlord and explain the situation. Specifically how much she pays vs. how much he pays. Then have her explain the behavior. I'm sure the landlord will evict the dude allowing her to stay on her own.

 

[Soul Beat]

I'm always prepared for that, and I'd be alright with that, if it's what she thinks will make her happiest. I want her to be happy at the end of the day, and, as I said, I'm not at all desperate.

 

[Meliora]

The obvious solution to the bed problem is that OP should get into that bed too.

 

[Zelenogorsk]

Who would agree to an unequal rent split anyways? "Hey we're sharing the same living space so I'll agree to pay more." This part doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

As for the ex, yes, he's been in denial mode this whole time. He thinks she's just going through a phase and will settle back into her comfort zone in due time, despite the fact that she's openly been spending multiple nights at my house and going on numerous full-day/night dates on weekends.

Also, the reason they share such a small bed is because they just literally moved into the apartment two months ago and have been so busy that they haven't even really had time to properly unpack and shop for essentials like a bigger bed.

I'm going to repeat what everyone else said: it's very easy to tell when someone else is in denial, but self-awareness is much harder.

Before you met this woman, would you have done anything you're doing or thinking of doing for a date? What changed? Why?

 

[Mechanized]

Fuck her in her bedroom while he's home. Make it obvious. He won't be there long.

 

[commedieu]

So she is sleeping with him still...out of spite??

You wouldn't understand.

 

[E92 M3]

 

[Darryl M R]

Mama didn't raise no cuck.

Too many red flags.

 

[Veitsev]

So she is sleeping with him still...out of spite??

What a principled lady! You've got quite the catch here OP!

BTW that proves she still cares about him. If she didn't she wouldn't give a fuck and just sleep on the couch.

 

[WorldStar]

Wait have you put any money in this? She might not only be fucking with your dick but also your bank account

Figured it's worth bringing up given how oblivious you are

 

[SirClinksAlot]

Reading the last few posts of yours it seems way more like she is just currently in a fight with her boyfriend while fucking around with you on the side.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Fuck her in her bedroom while he's home. Make it obvious. He won't be there long.

This is assuming he wakes up during it. OP is her ex a light sleeper?

 

[Bubba T]

LOL man

She is better off just breaking the lease if she really didn't want to live with him. It's not like she's being any less responsible than she is now.

Your infatuation is clouding your judgment. Don't invite yourself to this drama.

 

[Valtýr]

Basically nobody has actually bothered to provide any actual assistance. The questions being asked aren't for his sake but for the chicks. We can argue till our faces are blue about whether or not the dude should stay with the girl but it doesn't matter. It's his decision and he's an adult.

 

[manueldelalas]

I don't know where to even start, but run away, if you can't see the massive red flags, it's time to go to a psychiatrist or something.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Reading the last few posts of yours it seems way more like she is just currently in a fight with her boyfriend while fucking around with you on the side.

.

 

[Kitoro]

We are going to get a thread were the OP says his gf doesn't know if his "gfs" pregnancy is down to him or her ex.

No chance in hell. I'm already in shock, after living the life of a bachelor straight out of a 9 year relationship and dating around like mad, that I already may have someone move in with me out of nowhere.

Still, I don't consider myself to be idealizing her right now. I can go into details of how well we get along and love each other's company, but it'll still come off as idealization. I've been through so many relationships with all types of girls, and I know exactly what I need now.

Believe it or not, she's very intelligent, self-sufficient, strong, and has been through more than most people in this thread have, and still has an incredible head on her shoulders and a positive outlook on life. She's really a joy and pleasure to be with and around.

If she were any other girl I've dated this year in this situation, I'd have dropped her in a second, but she's really a fantastic person and I'd really love to help her through this mess and try resetting the stage to do things the right way and see how things go.

 

[Frozenprince]

Yeah this has moved well past "they need to figure things out" territory.

This is ultimatums time between them. Not you. Because you've known her for, what, a month?

If she isn't willing to drop an ultimatum, she isn't into you enough to warrant all this.

 

[onadesertedisland]

Reading the last few posts of yours it seems way more like she is just currently in a fight with her boyfriend while fucking around with you on the side.

Well, yeah, but that's reality, and this thread is about denial.

 

[Beefy]

This is assuming he wakes up during it. OP is her ex a light sleeper?

He could be bi and join in....

 

[voOsh]

This is assuming he wakes up during it. OP is her ex a light sleeper?

The couch isn't good for anyone's back so he'll wake up.

 

[E92 M3]

How much money have you spent on her? Hopefully it's not too much because you are wasting it.

 

[Meliora]

OP, have you met her ex? You should start hanging out at her place.

 

[MrToughPants]

OP you are the side cuck.

 

[Fliesen]

She's been sleeping on the couch some nights, but that's not good for anyone's back, and it's admitting defeat to the ex. He should be on that couch, as that's about what his rent contribution basically affords.

Either way, one of them needs to get out, for the sake of each of their own well being.

I've been dating numerous people over the last 6 months since getting divorced, and before that, I've been in multiple 2+ year relationships, in addition to my 6 year relationship/3 year marriage.

I'm not in the slightest bit desperate; I just really find this girl to be incredible, and, shit situation aside, is exactly what I've always hoped to find as far as personality, positivity, warmth, and beauty goes.

"I have to sleep in a bed with him, because it's bad for my back"
"I have to sleep in a bed with him, because not doing that would mean he wins"
"I have to sleep in a bed with him, because i just never got around to buying a bigger bed. you know, not sleeping in the same bad as my ex hasn't been that high on my priority list for the last FEW WEEKS"

You see how crazy all of this sounds?

Say she's not still 'sleeping' sleeping with him - sure. The boyfriend's a creepy, manipulative douche.
But 'your girlfriend' is acting absolutely crazy as well.

Believe it or not, she's very intelligent, self-sufficient, strong, and has been through more than most people in this thread have, and still has an incredible head on her shoulders and a positive outlook on life. She's really a joy and pleasure to be with and around.

yet unable to figure out a way to not sleep in the same bed as a person she's not romantically involved with anymore, who sexually harasses her. for weeks.

 

[Mechanized]

This is assuming he wakes up during it. OP is her ex a light sleeper?

Do it in the middle of the day. Assert dominance.

 

[godhandiscen]

Get the parents of this manchild involved.

Ship him off to his mom's basement.


EDIT: Oh shit OP, she sleeps with the guy? GTFO this situation bro. QUICK!

 

[UnObtainium17]

You know what.. lots of sensible replies on here. I honestly would have bounced the moment i find out all the things going on with her ex.
But there's a point in lofe wherer sometimes you gotta go against common sense..

Save. That. Chick.