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Can attraction grow for a man?

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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, OP!

horse_gums.jpg


And yes I'd say it does grow. When you love someone they can be the most beautiful thing to look at.

Also I wouldn't want to be judgemental since you are just being honest and asking questions. But I'm not sure if you are the right fit for her.
 
How beneath your standards of attractiveness is she? After you answer that, then figure out the answer to how low are you willing to go for somebody who has everything else in order besides that.
 
I'm on the spectrum and some of you still amaze even me with the awkward and clueless questions you ask.

Edit: On topic, yes attraction can grow. It happens all the time between all sorts of people. Nothing in life is ever static, people are constantly evolving and sometimes that's together and sometimes its apart. OP the thing is I think you've got a bit of self reflection to do first.
 
No, men are unthinking unfeeling robots who only care about surface level looks.

What the hell is this thread? Of course it can, although from the sounds of it your appraisal of her looks isn't the big problem here.
 
It can, but if there's something that jarring then there's no point in wasting each others time. And no, it doesn't make you a bad person. Physical attraction is highly important.
 
OP, you must be a catch. A perfect human specimen that wants to breed with a female human. I can see why you are worry about her gums.

Come one dude, don't be shallow and have some self-awareness. Maybe she is not into you? Calm down vaquerito.

And yes, it grows.
 
The disparity of the total breakdown of why her face is unnatractive to you but considering her as your possible wife and mother of your child is amazing

v1DnK6P.jpg


This is one of those situations where internal thoughts should have stayed internal

A big gummy smile is off putting tho
 
CrazyHorse said:
Guys I need some help.

I met this girl who is a very ethical and intelligent person. My problem is that I don't find aspects of her face attractive. To the extent that it really puts me off. Other things are attractive. Her face is somewhat asymmetrical (one side puffier) and when she smiles I can see all her gums and and this is because her jaw is a bit protruded.

I don't want to reject her outright without giving it careful thought. I can see her being a good mother and supportive wife.

But can attraction grow?

I am better looking than her and it's not often that you see a husband with a less attractive wife. Things like this bother me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/marriage-study_n_4299002.html
Click to expand...


WTF OP, that's pretty arrogant of you.
 
How can you be sure she'd be a good mother? What if you breed with her and your spawn comes out puffy-faced and jaw-protruding? How could anyone love a child that looks like that?!
 
Yeah, it seems she deserves better than you. You may try to write this off as a nuance, but it will come up later in the relationship, if you have one.

By the way, you can go fuck yourself with this derogatory mindset.
 
Why do some dudes immediately think about how good a wife and mother a woman they've barely met/dated would be?
It's alarmingly how many times I've read this sort of thing here.

It's just...fucking creepy.

Make sure to compliment her child bearing hips while you're at it.
 
I'm of the mind that if you're aren't attracted to someone, you can totally come to find them attractive over time. You sort of just associate the features of their face with all of their good qualities and they suddenly become cute. But if you're actively unattracted to the person and find their features unpleasant, then it probably ain't gonna work.

It kinda sounds like you're leaning towards the latter, OP.
 
I don't know about "grow," but when you become deeply attracted to a person's being, you naturally tend to overlook undesirable physical attributes more.
 
Strangelove77 said:
Why do some dudes immediately think about how good a wife and mother a woman they've barely met/dated would be?
It's alarmingly how many times I've read this sort of thing here.

It's just...fucking creepy.
Click to expand...
Strike me down if I am wrong, but there are some women that have a motherly quality to them. I can't go as far as explaining it as it's just that I've had those thoughts only a couple of times.
 
lightskintwin said:
Man, it feels like some of ya'll are taking this personal. LOL
Click to expand...

What else is new? OP is labeled a shitty human for daring to say he looks better than she does. Never mind that he might be entirely correct and most people have a certain threshold looks-wise when it comes to relationships.

I think, OP, you should ask yourself this: Knowing what you know of her now, would you be able to break up with her in a few months if you couldn't get over the negatives? If her positive qualities make that a difficult answer, best to stay away. She'll find somebody who values her all around and you'll find somebody who you value more.

Strangelove77 said:
Why do some dudes immediately think about how good a wife and mother a woman they've barely met/dated would be?
It's alarmingly how many times I've read this sort of thing here.

It's just...fucking creepy.

Make sure to compliment her child bearing hips while you're at it.
Click to expand...
It's called nature, women have such thoughts too. Oh, how creepy.
 
There's a lot of criticism of the OP for being superficial, when this thread is him asking if he can elevate beyond that instinct. He's saying that he feels a certain way, not that his way of feeling is right.

Everything about her, other than her face, seems to appeal to the OP. And that isn't an irrelevance. Attractiveness does carry weight in a relationship, despite it being logically extraneous. It's an instinct.

My estimation is that it wouldn't work, OP. You'd probably resent being with her the minute someone more attractive showed an interest in you.
 
Only to an extent. Someone who you think is average/bland for your attractions/standards can definitely develop into attraction if you really hit it off.

It someone you find actively unattractive or offputting, like whoever you're talking about, is not most likely.
 
I think we are able to get physically attracted to almost any female if we look to her long enough. Off course under certain boundaries. So, yes it's possible.

Yours doubts are an obvious sign you shouldn't go for it though.
 
How can we get in contact with her to let her know she can do better?





.. of course you can grow to love every part of someone if you enjoy being around them.
 
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