I didn't read through the whole tread, so sorry if this has been said before.
While this sucks, its essentially the only way Nintendo would let themselves do a proper online service because of their extreme concerns about protecting their family brand.
The way I think it will work is like this: the online service you already get on wii U (i.e. random matches in smash, Mario kart etc) will remain as is, no smartphone required.
You only need a smartphone if you want to have a friends list, voice chat etc.
And the reason for this is the app will be age gatewayed and parental controlled, which means Nintendo cant get blasted for providing a child hotline for peados, which is why they've never done voice chat or convenient friend lists before as this would destroy their business overnight.
So its the peados fault, Yeah it sucks, but it's better than nothing.