Adam Sadler
Member
What? I actually recall praise​ for Shaw! That's the movie that made me love the actress
It makes sense considering they are a group of people leaving on a trip to establish a permanent human colony in deep space that they are never returning from. They're largely expected to reproduce.
But why make the main crew largely comprised of couples? Tennessee's actions trying to get to his wife were extremely stupid given the fact that his main mission is to colonize a planet, not save a bunch of dumbasses and Walter,
I was startled how early this telegraphed it was going to be a stinker. The moment Insecure Religious Man started talking about his insecurities and "following the path as it's laid out before me" oh my god. It actually made Prometheus' "because that's what I believe" scene appear subtle.
Then the crew began subdividing. Leave three on the main ship. Okay good call, makes sense. Leave one back on the drop ship. Um, okay. Now two are stopping midway during their hike. Um, not such a great idea. Now one of the two that stopped are splitting up and you gotta be shitting me. This embraces the whole don't split up cliche from horror movies and takes it to the nth degree.
Then one of the women locks up the other one with the infected guy for...I don't know. She's a horrible person. But she's also uncoordinated, landing flat on her ass and missing shooting the alien. Then she gets another gun and blows up the entire drop ship, setting herself on fire to die a horrible death. I actually started laughing when she came flailing out of the ship. The least coordinated space traveler in science fiction history here, they leave to go on a hike and she blows the place up and is on fire. Bravo! All that's needed is the returning hikers to be carrying a couple of pizza boxes and we could have a recreation of that "what the fuck happened here" .gif.
It's been a long time since I've seen a character fail so much in a film. Someone on the first page mentioned it should have had the Benny Hill theme running through it, and they were spot on. Jesus.
But everyone else is just as dumb. Let's lower the main ship into the storm. Let's go stand on top of a ship to fight the thing that tore through the entire crew. Let's stick my face in this giant egg, when people doing so with aliens on their face are literally plastered all over the wall. Let's be stalking down a dark hallway looking for monsters while the people on your radio are like, "Um, what's up? Hello?" and you don't reply for reasons. I counted four times this happened, and I only started counting midway through the film.
Unlike Prometheus, this was not a visually interesting film. There's no set piece like the alien ship launching sequence near the end that feels like it really builds from anything or has visual impact. Just clumsy one-off scenes that happen for increasingly stupid reasons, and are not well set up or filmed coherently.
Prometheus was dumb and awkward and misguided, but it didn't have the contempt for the audience that this film did. When our hero is stapling David's face back together near the end, I'm sitting there thinking, they told the audience the android self-heals. How does someone in the chain of command of the ship not know that? Holy fucking shit people. I hated the ending to this film more than I have the ability to express.
I set my expectations to "pretty but dumb", aka Prometheus. But I got "not very pretty and it hates you even before you have a chance to hate it back".
You didn't even get Prometheus 2. You got the David Show ft. Alien. The Engineers and Shaw got wrote out lol. Seriously what the hell, Ridley.What a massive disappointment this was. I was expecting Alien, I got Prometheus 2.
I have to imagine "Go into deep space and die alone" as a job listing isn't going to attract a lot of potential employees.
It's certainly more realistic than Prometheus having a crew go on a mission without being told about the objective at all until after they signed on to work and arrived at the destination.
Also hey...when Captain Faith asked David "Who/what are the eggs waiting for?" and he replied "Their mother."....who or what exactly is the mother of those eggs? I almost thought he turned Shaw into a Queen but it seems that didn't turn out to be true lol. And since they left that planet, I guess we don't get to see or find out who the mother of those eggs is, if in fact David really did mean some creature birthed those eggs in his lair and he didn't just create them in a "lab".
Then would you kindly give examples of people who used to shit on Prometheus but now express love for it?I fucking KNEW that people would now be expressing love for Prometheus, after years of shitting on it (rightly so).thisisneogaf.gif
Captain Faith is their mother. That's the implication.
Seeing what David did to the engineers in this movie, it makes a bit more sense in hindsight why the engineer in Prometheus was trying to wipe out Earth. Perhaps the engineers have had experience with artificial intelligence themselves and determined that AIs are inherently a threat to biological life. Any civilization that has developed the necessary technology must be destroyed.
So I was thinking.
One theory I read as for the original Space Jockey is that the it isn't an Engineer at all but Daniels or some other human, possibly even David himself. David will have a collection of eggs somewhere and in the next film, someone will (after somehow getting access to an Engineer ship) take the precious cargo and fly away with them to go transport them somewhere else where they can't harm anyone (like a barren planet such as LV-426 perhaps?). Kinda like a last ditch effort at saving everyone else. At some point the pilot is infected (probably the reason he/she volunteers to take all the eggs and fly off with them) and upon entering the atmosphere, the alien emerges and the ship crash lands onto LV-426 where the aliens can hatch and never harm who they were intended to harm.
It could also be David as the original Space Jockey if he was actually transporting them to their intended destination in an Engineer suit and he gets infected with an alien and same thing happens as I stated before. He crash lands before he can get to where he was really going. The two biggest holes in this theory though is no human or android is as colossal as the original Space Jockey (although this was retconned in Prometheus) and where would they get another Juggernaut ship from at this point anyway?
David being the original Space Jockey would also explain why the original Xenomorph has a more mechanical look to it...because it came from an android. That makes too much sense that I honestly don't see that NOT being the route they take. David gets to sacrifice himself basically (either willingly or unwillingly) to create the ultimate/perfect weapon/creature.
Also hey...when Captain Faith asked David "Who/what are the eggs waiting for?" and he replied "Their mother."....who or what exactly is the mother of those eggs? I almost thought he turned Shaw into a Queen but it seems that didn't turn out to be true lol. And since they left that planet, I guess we don't get to see or find out who the mother of those eggs is, if in fact David really did mean some creature birthed those eggs in his lair and he didn't just create them in a "lab".
So I was thinking.
One theory I read as for the original Space Jockey is that the it isn't an Engineer at all but Daniels or some other human, possibly even David himself. David will have a collection of eggs somewhere and in the next film, someone will (after somehow getting access to an Engineer ship) take the precious cargo and fly away with them to go transport them somewhere else where they can't harm anyone (like a barren planet such as LV-426 perhaps?). Kinda like a last ditch effort at saving everyone else. At some point the pilot is infected (probably the reason he/she volunteers to take all the eggs and fly off with them) and upon entering the atmosphere, the alien emerges and the ship crash lands onto LV-426 where the aliens can hatch and never harm who they were intended to harm.
It could also be David as the original Space Jockey if he was actually transporting them to their intended destination in an Engineer suit and he gets infected with an alien and same thing happens as I stated before. He crash lands before he can get to where he was really going. The two biggest holes in this theory though is no human or android is as colossal as the original Space Jockey (although this was retconned in Prometheus) and where would they get another Juggernaut ship from at this point anyway?
David being the original Space Jockey would also explain why the original Xenomorph has a more mechanical look to it...because it came from an android. That makes too much sense that I honestly don't see that NOT being the route they take. David gets to sacrifice himself basically (either willingly or unwillingly) to create the ultimate/perfect weapon/creature.
This theory is not possible when you watch this scene again:
https://youtu.be/n3znG2SXPz4
That suit would not fit David and the suit is almost fossilized as well. Covenant is supposed to be set only 20 years before Alien. Ripley would really have to force to make the writers somehow explain that scene thru some bullshit at this point.
The female pilot of the small ship (wife of Tennessee) has to win the Darwin award of the year.
I mean my god... the stupidity and clumsiness was off the scale there.
David being the Space Jockey is the inevitable final insult of these prequels. Sure, the thing was 20ft tall and fossilised in the original movie but that doesn't matter to Ridley.
Ridley has already retconned a huge amount, the size of the Space Jockey has already been changed. The Engineers from Prometheus are tiny compared to the Space Jockey. Ridley doesn't give a shit.
Watch the original Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and its two sequels. Noomie Rapace is brilliant.What? I actually recall praise​ for Shaw! That's the movie that made me love the actress
There's three things that could have happened:That's why that scene is so good, though. It IS clumsy and it should be.
This normal ass lady just saw an alien creature come out of a friend's back, attack another person and now the floor is covered with slippery blood. It's all nuts and it's awesome, I'd be annoyed if she just randomly became some kind of Ridley badass and killed the alien.
It's why a movie like Blue Ruin is so great. Normal people aren't gonna be total badasses just because the situation demands it, they're still just going to be normal people and normal people are going to be clumsy in such an insane and fucked up situation.
It just makes one wonder about Ridley's intentions with this whole ordeal. Did he really want to do another Alien movie or was it more the fact that he would get a bigger budget to produce his David fantasy films?
[TW]Stone;237468306 said:I just want to know why they had such a huge shower and wasted so much water
This theory is not possible when you watch this scene again:
https://youtu.be/n3znG2SXPz4
That suit would not fit David and the suit is almost fossilized as well. Covenant is supposed to be set only 20 years before Alien. I'm gonna assume that any sequel to this would even make that timeline even shorter. Ridley would really have to force to make the writers somehow explain that scene thru some bullshit at this point.
The female pilot of the small ship (wife of Tennessee) has to win the Darwin award of the year.
I mean my god... the stupidity and clumsiness was off the scale there.
Though she wasn't really alone in the whole mess:
*Yup let's explore this totally uncharted, unknown new planet without any type of suit protection. I guess the monitor said it's habitable so it must be true!
*Yes let's probe and pick apart this new alien life form plant with my bare hands.
*Touch random alien derelict objects? Check.
*Let's lock another human being with another person who is clearly infected with something... better safe than sorry!
*After you see said infection take place... instead of just leaving it there you open it again trying to be the hero and then slip on the blood and fall flat on your ass.
*Not contend with just that, you have to use a god damn grenade launcher to nuke a creature coming at you and blow up the whole ship.
*Let us all follow this random dude on random planet through a GOD DAMN CITY of aliens that have been wiped out and their corpses all lying around. Yup... this looks like a safe place guys!
*Let me stick my face into this egg because I have been told to by this totally not evil android who didn't flinch when another human died but rather tried to talk to killer aliens.
*Yes let me lower a ship full of 2000 colonists and a thousand embryos into a plasma storm on an unknown planet just to save 2 people and 1 android (the killer android mind you).
Legitimately worse than Prometheus and that is quite a feat. Scott should hand over the franchise to a different director at this point.
And please god no, no one wants to see that movie in between Prometheus and Covenant. Waste of time and resources if Scott tried to get that greenlight. Just move the plot along after this movie and try to do something new.
Want to go watch this movie but my mom who I usually go with and my sis will be out of town...should I go alone? :/
There's three things that could have happened:
1) Bad ass moment: Random pilot girl could've not gotten her comrade killed and killed the creature because it got out of hand. And not destroyed the ship in the process.
2) Normal sane human being moment: Not trapped her comrade in the med lab, let the infection take place and then try to get assistance from her comrade/buy enough time until the rest of her crew got in. Maybe one of them gets killed in the process... but at least the ship doesn't get destroyed.
3) Dumb ass "Darwin of the year" moment: Lock in your comrade, DELIBERATELY keep the door locked in after she is begging to open it and there's still time. Once she is dead, then you decide to open the door and try to macho down the alien but like the idiot you actually are, you trip on your ass and have to lock the door again. Then instead of running away from the ship or buy enough time for your crew to get there to help you... you end up nuking the ship with the gun's grenade launcher. THE VERY LEAST thing you could've done here is just held down the trigger button but no... you had to go the extra dumb ass mile to hit the secondary fire on the gun to use a grenade gun and blow up the ship.
There is no defending this... dumb ass girl panicked and fucked everyone up.
Yup. I can't stop thinking about how comedic the fiasco at the landing ship was. She locks the other woman in there for quarantine, gets a gun, then opens it back up? Why lock her there in the first place if you're going to go back in? The *entire* disaster was her fault, and it only happens because she fucks up five or six times in rapid succession.
On that note - how did they miss the entire Engineer city in the fly over during the landing? It was a moment's walk away. Her ship scanned ahead and found "flat water" on the other side of the mountain and down a waterfall, but didn't notice a giant city nearby?
Oh, I almost forgot my favorite exchange of dialogue:
"I hate space!"
"That's why you should do yoga!"
Oh. My. God.
Captain Dallas: 'It's been dead a long time...fossilized.'I've seen the fossilized point be brought up before, but was the original Space Jockey fossilized? And didn't just look like that because of being exposed to the vacuum of space or the limitations of 70s effects?
I mean, if you've seen one Alien movie, you've seen this one.I saw it on my own
I've seen the fossilized point be brought up before, but was the original Space Jockey fossilized? And didn't just look like that because of being exposed to the vacuum of space or the limitations of 70s effects?
All of this. I have no time for arguments that terror stricken human beings in utterly horrifying situations they've never experienced before should do anything other than freak the hell out and be overtaken by their pure primal drive to run or fight.She didn't open the door after her friend was dead, she was still alive and she didn't shoot a grenade launcher inside the ship, she hit some canisters that blew up. The xenomorph ran around them and she accidently shot them while trying to shot it.
More like normal human reacts like a human when a literal monster crawls out of someone's skin and murders two people in front of you. I think expecting everyone to either be a badass or completely rational in a situation where no one would be rational is kind of tried and boring.
Saw this Twitter convo, which I agree with.
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Give me more actually normal sane human being reactions and not underserved moments of badassery.
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Also, she didn't run away because the door slammed her foot and when she jumped down you could hear her foot break. Seems like you misremember a lot of what happened in that scene.
Give me more actually normal sane human being reactions and not underserved moments of badassery.
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All of this. I have no time for arguments that terror stricken human beings in utterly horrifying situations they've never experienced before should do anything other than freak the hell out and be overtaken by their pure primal drive to run or fight.
When you're in the midst of an adrenaline rush, terrified for your life, you can't do anything other than react react react. It would take either prolonged systematic conditioning or truly exceptional instincts to override that and think on your feet.
I'll agree that criticizing characters for crying too much in a situation that you should be shitting your pants in is ridiculous, but there's also being unrealistically dumb as fuck too, which characters frequently are in this movie.
More like normal human reacts like a human when a literal monster crawls out of someone's skin and murders two people in front of you
Also, she didn't run away because the door slammed her foot and when she jumped down you could hear her foot break. Seems like you misremember a lot of what happened in that scene.
Yeah it all felt totally believable to me.She was freaking the fuck out
Everyone on the Covenant were freaking the fuck out
Everyone who was walking back to the ship was fricking the fuck out
It was complete and utter pandemonium as it should've been.
OK.David recreates himself as the Alien Queen. I have no proof of this other than the fact that it's the type of dumb shit this series is likely to do.
The girl panicked long before she saw the Alien. She infact ran away locking the door when she saw the guys back start to bleed, which could have been anything at that point, she ran away initially to call for help on the communicator to the main ship. I don't think even the most crazy or crazies would have thought that a super fast growing alien was going to pop out at that point. It wasn't until she went back did she see that the guy had some sort of alien growing out of him did she decide to once again refuse her friend freedom and opt for a gun. Surely someone panicking would have just left them there and ran for the hills?
What makes the scene even more ridiculous his a line her husband makes later in the movie when he discovers that she dead.
'I've never heard her scared before'
Sorry pal, your wife shit her pants when a crew member got sick.