Alas, no. A better offer came along in the shape of the DUP and its 10 MPs. These Dr Nos will say yes to the Budget, the Queens Speech, Brexit legislation and boosts to security, and all for the bargain price of £1 billion. The extra cash will put spending per head in Northern Ireland at £14,263, compared to £13,054 in Scotland, £12,531 in Wales, and £11,297 in England.
It would perhaps be harsh to say that voting Tory in Scotland has turned out, like the vice-presidency of the US, to be not worth a bucket of warm spit, but it is definitely beginning to look like the equivalent of buying a solid gold watch from a seaside auctioneer. Stopped working five minutes after you bought it, mate? Turned your wrist as green as Patrick Harvie, love? We would care, but weve pocketed the money and scarpered to Westminster. Take it up with trading standards. I think youll find any bargain with a politician comes with a dirty great caveat emptor warning.