Got an F on a college essay for swearing?

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chronic_archaic said:
I already see a therapist weekly and am on 2 different anti-depressent drugs. I'm not employed due to my OCD being bad enough I'm trying to apply for disability at 20 and feel like complete garbage about it even though it's completely reasonable, I just view myself how society sees me and I see a worthless person though I'm not.

I completely get it though. I expect everyone I know to hate my first pieces of music I'm willing to create. I just genuinely thought writing was one of my strong points and apparently it's not which just made me feel completely useless. I know I have to take this criticism and use it to my advantage. It's just... really hard right now. I've never experienced this much feedback this fast.
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Yet despite all those setbacks you're at college trying to better yourself. And you will.

That was still a terrible essay, and you should refer back to it for the next few pieces you write to see what you shouldn't do. It's all valuable.

And no-one is worthless. Well, maybe some of the meth junkies around here, but I digress.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
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That's a good millennial!
 
OP your best avenue for revenge and redemption is to release an album where all the lyrics are grammatically correct formal writing.
 
College is entirely based around self improvement. The fact that you aren't perfect now shouldn't be something you view as a fault or a failure on your part.

Use this to reflect and grow as a student and as a person.
 
chronic_archaic said:
I already see a therapist weekly and am on 2 different anti-depressent drugs. I'm not employed due to my OCD being bad enough I'm trying to apply for disability at 20 and feel like complete garbage about it even though it's completely reasonable, I just view myself how society sees me and I see a worthless person though I'm not.

I completely get it though. I expect everyone I know to hate my first pieces of music I'm willing to create. I just genuinely thought writing was one of my strong points and apparently it's not which just made me feel completely useless. I know I have to take this criticism and use it to my advantage. It's just... really hard right now. I've never experienced this much feedback this fast.
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You're only 20. No one is really good at anything at 20 (except a rare few geniuses, maybe). Sorry 20 year-olds, but it's generally true. I thought I was a good writer in college too, because I got good grades, but I recently cleaned out some old junk from my closet and found some of my older work. It was not good. It was good for a college kid, I guess, but being a professional and having a career that requires an abundance of reading and writing, I realize my college work was awful. The whole point of college is to become good. If you apply some of the feedback you're getting, you'll be good when you leave.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only positive post so far, and as it turns out I'm majoring in music. This gives me just a bit of hope. Thank you so much. I'm a mess right now after everything else.
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My brother has just entered college and he's also majoring in music right now, as a singer. He's stressed out about learning his scales and auditioning; he even got into his first fender bender trying to get to class on time. My point is that it's natural to be stressed out about this stuff. Just know that you're not the only one who is dealing with this shift, and know that there are people there to help teach you and elevate your potential.
 
chronic_archaic said:
I just genuinely thought writing was one of my strong points and apparently it's not which just made me feel completely useless. I know I have to take this criticism and use it to my advantage. It's just... really hard right now. I've never experienced this much feedback this fast.
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You experienced one line of feedback from the professor and started a thread to assert you were correct, allege the professor was biased, explain why you don't think rules apply to you, and conclude that being asked to do anything different was tantamount to self-censorship. Try not ever responding to feedback with the words "I", "my", or "me".

The feedback you got from GAF came subsequent to that.
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
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You got an A- because its prose in short story form which is very different from formal writing.

...

Honestly I couldn't get through more than a few sentences of that short story before i noticed enough problems to get almost infuriated at.

If i were critiquing your paper, i would focus on the poor pacing, poor sentence structure, incomplete sentences, and missing or miss-used punctuation.

Honestly you're new at this level of writing and it shows. Learn from your profs and peers and figure out what the audience wants and needs.

This is a big problem with new writers.
Stop thinking that you are writing for your sake, you are writing for an audience.
In prose, its learning what makes the reader enjoy a work.
In a formal paper, your credibility is everything. That means lessening the use of informal language and never swearing unless its a quote or in reference to the word.

Always re-read and always take the audience (in this case, the prof) into account.
 
Stumpokapow said:
You experienced one line of feedback from the professor and started a thread to assert you were correct, allege the professor was biased, explain why you don't think rules apply to you, and conclude that being asked to do anything different was tantamount to self-censorship. Try not ever responding to feedback with the words "I", "my", or "me".

The feedback you got from GAF came subsequent to that.
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This.

Growing up aint easy, but everybody's got to do it.
 
Phu said:
These are my favorite bits:
You were born to translate 80's JRPGs.]
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Okay I laughed at that, it's still funny.

brianmcdoogle said:
"I don't understand why the symphony fired me when I started playing songs from Stankonia. Why are censoring my artistry!"

To be helpful and not continuing to clown on the OP, someone just suggested asking for a rewrite. This might be a good idea, expressing that you realize your errors and want to correct it. You may not get it, but it may give you some brownie points in your next assignment.
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In terms of music, I don't have any endgoal. If I get to play in a band to an audience of 50 people, I made it. If I get to compose scores, even better. If my music on it's own right is financially successful I might live another 20 years. But I need to remember the 70s ended 40 years ago and there aren't any Klaus Schulze's or Ryuichi Sakamoto's anymore.

Basically, I want to do it for my own pleasure and enjoyment. Career path be damned. I'm doing it because music is so important to me.
 
OP, judging by your mentality and your posts in here you shouldn't even be in college. Go back to middle school where you can continue acting as a child.
 
One time I had to do a presentation in front of the class and I spent all my time doodling stuff in my book and not doing any work then when my name was called to do my presentation I hadnt done anything and I just went up in front of the class and winged it and made up a bunch of bullshit and everyone bought it and I passed.
#fightthesystem
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
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Why do you spend so much time recapping? This is more of a summary of a story than it is an essay. That is not an A- paper, that's a D or C at best.

A proper essay shouldn't recap the story because anyone reading the essay has already read the story. The only times you should recap anything is if you want to put pulled quotes into context to help you make a point.

The professor wants to know what you think about what you read. What do you think about the plot? The setting? The characters? The structure of the story itself? Keep this in mind for the future. You had a decent opening, but you have to say something after that. They want to hear what you think, so tell them. Just be sure to back it up with quotes from the text. That last paragraph should be what the entire essay looks like content wise.
 
I curse during presentations but never in essays. During presentations it can actually help and light up the audience. You have to own it though.
 
Falk said:
OP your best avenue for revenge and redemption is to release an album where all the lyrics are grammatically correct formal writing.
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My first album is planned to be completely instrumental, sorry :P already have some demos and things and no, nobody is listening to THAT yet so don't ask!
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...

This is under 1000 words and roughly 75% of that is a plot summary. It doesn't really satisfy even the basic requirements of an essay, there is no argument being made or critical engagement with the text in question. And that's before we get to the poor sentence structure and lack of clarity in the writing.

I don't want to pile on here, but it seems like you should see what services your college offers that could help get you up to speed on the expectations of academic writing.
 
I think people in the thread have sufficiently chewed out/sagaciously advised the OP, but I'd like to add that in my very broad reading of academic material, I have seen the occasional use of swearing.

It is very difficult to pull off tastefully and often involves the writer using it sparingly to make a particular point or create a certain flavor of emphasis. In that domain, cursing is a loaded keg that you should only cart around when you know exactly what you're doing and have the professional reputation to demonstrate that you've earned that language.

So as a prior English professor: Don't get bogged down, OP. Ask for a rewrite, take the assignment more seriously, and see this as a growth opportunity. You'll be fine.
 
chronic_archaic said:
I completely get it though. I expect everyone I know to hate my first pieces of music I'm willing to create. I just genuinely thought writing was one of my strong points and apparently it's not which just made me feel completely useless. I know I have to take this criticism and use it to my advantage. It's just... really hard right now. I've never experienced this much feedback this fast.
Click to expand...

An alternate explanation is that you've moved up to a higher league (are you a freshman? it sounds like you might be), and found that the standards are higher. Where you were a perfectly fine player in the lower league without breaking a sweat, you're now finding that in the higher league you're not cutting it. One response to this situation is to decide you were never any good. Another is to choose to step up your game and meet the higher standards.

There should be resources at your college to help you do so. And you could maybe even consider asking your professor for advice (only do this if you're very sure you can do so without being confrontational and angry, i.e. not in the manner you made this thread).
 
WiiredShawn said:
I think people in the thread have sufficiently chewed out/sagaciously advised the OP, but I'd like to add that in my very broad reading of academic material, I have seen the occasional use of swearing.

It is very difficult to pull off tastefully and often involves the writer using it sparingly to make a particular point or create a certain flavor of emphasis. In that domain, cursing is a loaded keg that you should only cart around when you know exactly what you're doing and have the professional reputation to demonstrate that you've earned that language.

So as a prior English professor: Don't get bogged down, OP. Ask for a rewrite, take the assignment more seriously, and see this as a growth opportunity. You'll be fine.
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The closest I've ever seen to approved swearing in college papers has been in quotes, talking about swearing as the subject of the paper, and the use of "damning."
 
Erico said:
This is why I still come to this forum: truly dumbass slice of life stories.
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Evilore should honestly sneak in some sort of I own everything y'all write into the EULA when you register and compile this stuff into a book called "Common Sense, Not As Common as You'd Like to Believe: Splice of Life Tales from NeoGAF"

Or "From Is Wiping Your Ass Really Necessary? to Can I Swear in an Essay?: Common Sense Isn't So Common at NeoGAF"
 
Cyan said:
An alternate explanation is that you've moved up to a higher league (are you a freshman? it sounds like you might be), and found that the standards are higher. Where you were a perfectly fine player in the lower league without breaking a sweat, you're now finding that in the higher league you're not cutting it. One response to this situation is to decide you were never any good. Another is to choose to step up your game and meet the higher standards.
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Yeah, use this as a source of motivation, like "I'm gonna show all these assholes who's boss".
 
I don't know if your college has an equivalent for you so sorry if the advice wont help. but edit your original paper to remove the cursing and take that paper to your campuses tutoring center and or learning lab and find someone to help you out with academic writing. on campus tutoring is almost always free and is always worth consulting if you need help.
 
excelsiorlef said:
Evilore should honestly sneak in some sort of I own everything y'all write into the EULA when you register and compile this stuff into a book called "Common Sense, Not As Common as You'd Like to Believe: Splice of Life Tales from NeoGAF"
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Is there a master list of threads like this? This thread really made my day.
 
Very few college students are good writers, and most are certainly not good at the start. You’re clearly an inexperienced writer, so it would be a shock if you were very good. Learning to become a capable academic writer is a long process. If it is really something you are interested in, you have to work at it. On the plus side, the lessons you do learn in this field will help you in different ways for the rest of your life. Don’t swear.
 
chronic_archaic said:
The only way I can make it through life at this point is to be an artist, to be expressive and enjoy the things that make live worth living. I've attempted suicide once already, I know if I try to shove myself into society in a standard way I will end up dead.

This thread is a huge downer. Gonna go play Destiny 2 and pretend real life doesn't exist, that or drug myself to sleep. Fuck me.
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Part of being an artist is day in and day out critiques and you're handling the critique in this thread really awfully so......yea don't try to be an artist. Calm down, self reflect, ask for a rewrite, sign up for tutoring. Seriously, never start an academic anything with the following question:

Where do we start, really?
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Start with a statement.

psyfi said:
How childish of her.
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Nah. Gotta shut that shit down early or else students never grow. Most of the ones that do thank you for it later.
 
try not to take it too hard man, if I read shit I wrote 3-4 years ago I involuntarily cringe. it's terrible writing, but I improved. real writing workshops can be brutal.
 
excelsiorlef said:
Evilore should honestly sneak in some sort of I own everything y'all write into the EULA when you register and compile this stuff into a book called "Common Sense, Not As Common as You'd Like to Believe: Splice of Life Tales from NeoGAF"
Click to expand...

It should just be a still image of this gif.

n5UL7.gif
 
JCHandsom said:
The closest I've ever seen to approved swearing in college papers has been in quotes, talking about swearing as the subject of the paper, and the use of "damning."
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Well, to be fair, I'm referring to the work of professional writers more so than college papers. Like, I used a fun little essay called "Shitty First Drafts" with freshman to help "break the ice" on the college writing process. The punctuated use of swearing helps to make an otherwise dry discussion more approachable. But it's one of those rare cases where the writer's skill, coupled with the tone of the piece, allow for a little more linguistic 'color.'

Students can almost never pull that off. And that's fine; I don't really want them to.
 
Cyan said:
An alternate explanation is that you've moved up to a higher league (are you a freshman? it sounds like you might be), and found that the standards are higher. Where you were a perfectly fine player in the lower league without breaking a sweat, you're now finding that in the higher league you're not cutting it. One response to this situation is to decide you were never any good. Another is to choose to step up your game and meet the higher standards.

There should be resources at your college to help you do so. And you could maybe even consider asking your professor for advice (only do this if you're very sure you can do so without being confrontational and angry, i.e. not in the manner you made this thread).
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I'm a freshman for all the wrong reasons, I started in late 2015 but if you read posts in this thread you could probably make some possible sense as to why it's taking so long to get past that point actually.

I dropped out my freshmen year of high school due to my OCD issues. I could barely do anything at home let alone in school. Got my GED before my 18th birthday. I did well in my English 103 course, and thought my best work in my first attempt of English 104 was even better. So maybe I am just full of myself in terms of this.
 
chronic_archaic said:
Didn't expect any less from here. Here's a full proper essay I wrote a year ago for reference that doesn't contain personal information. If someone wants to critique me even more.

https://www.scribd.com/document/360741724/English-104-Short-Stories

I got an A- on that one for reference.
Click to expand...
https://www.scribd.com/document/360744317/English-Essay-2

Compare your essay to mine and look at the difference in sentence structure and grammar. I got a perfect score on this.
 
Phrynobatrachus said:
try not to take it too hard man, if I read shit I wrote 3-4 years ago I involuntarily cringe. it's terrible writing, but I improved. real writing workshops can be brutal.
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Seriously. I don't even want to try to find some of my earlier papers. I don't deserve to be in that kind of pain.
 
Dreadnought said:
https://www.scribd.com/document/360744317/English-Essay-2

Compare your essay to mine and look at the difference in sentence structure and grammar. I got a perfect score on this.
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You overuse the passive voice, your sentences are frequently overly long, you have nothing resembling a thesis anywhere in the first two pages of your essay, your conclusion is a summary of your paper and thus completely meaningless, and you do nothing with your conclusions about the poems.

This isn't the time, the place, nor the essay to one up the OP.
 
norm9 said:
Grow some thicker skin or this world will eat you alive bro.
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I know - honestly I'm very strong in terms of myself, I'm a very odd person who doesn't fit well with most people. Sometimes if my self esteem gets hurt, it spirals into the litanies I wrote the past hour. I'm proud of the person I've grown up to be but I'm very vulnerable.
 
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