LookAtThemGo
Got an F on a college essay for swearing?
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LookAtThemGo
zerokoolpsx
Member
You need to convey your point across better. Its common sense not to use curse words in an essay.
Everyone makes mistakes, the key is to learn from them. It's just one grade, and your professor might be willing to meet you half way to raise your grade if you participate in class and show improvement in your work. There are some people giving you some solid advice that would really help you develop your writing skills, and incorporating that could prove to be a benefit in the long run.
Your college composition classes are preparing you for a professional career, where no matter what your chosen line of work, you're going to have to communicate with other people in writing. Maybe you'll be writing memos, or maybe just departmental emails, but any kind of professional writing is going to require you to "censor yourself" and tailor it to whoever is reading it if you want to be taken seriously in the workplace.
Let's say there's a problem in your department stemming from one employee's practices, and you need to write a note to either that employee or their manager outlining the problem and how it's affecting your work. There are two ways to write this email. One is to take the approach you took in your essay:
"Hey just so you know, fucking Mike in accounts payable is a shit-for-brains who's making everybody's jobs harder with his ass-backward insistence on submitting invoices formatted according to his own impossible rules, which are completely contrary to the instructions in the fucking company handbook. FIX THIS."
The other is to "censor yourself" and consider your audience, in this case Mike's manager:
"I've been running into some issues submitting invoices to Mike, who has a peculiar format he prefers to use that isn't supported by company guidelines. Several of my colleagues and I have asked him to relax his standards, but he won't back down, and going the extra mile to specially prepare invoices for him is taking up company time. I wouldn't be bringing this directly to your attention if I thought there was a simpler remedy. Could you speak to him about this? Thank you."
The first approach is likely to have the opposite effect as what you want: instead of flagging up Mike's behavior as a problem, it raises a huge red flag about your behavior. Any actual problem with Mike will quickly become a secondary concern as the manager has to lecture you about appropriate behavior over company email, after which he'll be watching you carefully to see if you're just as "unfiltered" outside of the written word.
The second approach gets things done. So learn it.
Ok, I don't want to be mean here, so I'm going to try to express this as kindly as I can.
This is not an essay. Two thirds of the text is devoted to recapping the story, with the final third giving a very brief "here are the lessons the characters learned." That ratio is what you'd expect of a book report, not an essay.
The professor who gave you an A- did you a disservice. You might be angry at the professor who gave you an F--and it is harsh--but perhaps that can be the wakeup call you needed. Do you want to improve yourself? Do you want to learn? Do you want to grow? You can, but the first step is realizing that you need to.
Professor Lich
Member
It can range from a small local community college (after K-12) to a prestigious, massive university. The word is used interchangeably to describe both.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
The term "college" in America refers to "university" in most other countries.
excelsiorlef
Member
Oh for fuck sakes.
NoMoreTrolls
Banned
College is where you go after grade 12. Also called university.
Also OP don't kill yourself over your terrible writing. Seek help.
The problem you have here OP is easily fixable, so try not to get so down, just fix it instead. Learning to write more professionally will improve your creative writing as well. When you want to write a curse word, stop yourself and think about why you are resorting to that language and force yourself to more fully formulate your thoughts. Curse words are a lazy short cut. Even in creative writing, it's fine for a character to use this language, but your audience is still going to want more elaboration on why your character thinks something is fucked up.
I mean, at the end of the day OP, you're in college. You're suppose to be making mistakes and learning from them The mistake matters a lot less than how you respond to it afterwards.
Jangowuzhere
Banned
This
Listen, this was a just dumb mistake that no one will remember. All because some of us tore you a new asshole is no reason to get you this depressed. I've been shit on too many times to count on this board and you know why? Because I said something stupid. And I did it too many times until I had to learn to control my emotions and actually try to learn how to not be a shit poster. It sucked to get piled up on and/or banned at the moment, but I'm glad I did cause now people don't have to deal with my shit posting. Everyone wins because I decided to take criticism and the pain that came along with it. You'll be fine, OP.
what have i done
What is your endgame? What job do you hope to get majoring in music that doesn't require you to be professional and know your audience?
Earthbound64
Banned
Thanks for making GAF a thing so that we could get threads like this.
metalslimer
Member
All joking aside I recommend you go see a writing counselor. I'm not a great writer, but you really have to learn how to format sentences better for the future. The excerpts you have posted so far lack the structure needed for future endeavors
And I recommend reading it back to yourself. If it sounds messed up reading it aloud, than that probably means there is a problem
And I recommend reading it back to yourself. If it sounds messed up reading it aloud, than that probably means there is a problem
Well, constructive criticism is usually emphasized during critiques. But one shouldn't expected that on the internet in the first place. And well, the essay was pretty bad.
OP, my man, relax. Some random dudes on the internet trashing your pretty badly written essay, is the least of your problems. Learn from this experience, take advantage of your resources on campus (be they tutor or counselor) and you'll do fine.
And once again I will say it, you should be proud of this thread. To create a golden thread is an honor that should be cherished. I sometimes wish I made a worthy enough mistake that I felt I needed to post about it, only to get dog piled on.
Smokey_Run
Member
Agreed.
I'm 'horrible' at writing. I would start writing papers weeks in advance, because I never like what I write. I'll delete entire paragraphs that are fine just because I'm not feeling it. I would get things to a point where I was satisfied and then get a second opinion.
Forerunner
Member
College is a learning experience and this is one you had to learn the hard way. It's just one grade, it's not the end of the world. Learn from it and move on.
What did he mean by this?
Member
My guy, its a funny thread. You have a funny situation. Ask for a rewrite or redo. Teachers are usually nice bored people who dont like failing earnest students
If you want to be creative, then do creative things on the side. Academia has rules you have to follow unless otherwise stated.
NoMoreTrolls
Banned
the_darkness
Banned
I don't think it was the swearing alone that got you the F. Your prose could use some work if that's what you're putting forward in a paper.
Battlechili
Banned
Foul language isn't for essays
nhlducks35
Member
Learn to comma bro
chronic_archaic
Member
I already see a therapist weekly and am on 2 different anti-depressent drugs. I'm not employed due to my OCD being bad enough I'm trying to apply for disability at 20 and feel like complete garbage about it even though it's completely reasonable, I just view myself how society sees me and I see a worthless person though I'm not.
I completely get it though. I expect everyone I know to hate my first pieces of music I'm willing to create. I just genuinely thought writing was one of my strong points and apparently it's not which just made me feel completely useless. I know I have to take this criticism and use it to my advantage. It's just... really hard right now. I've never experienced this much feedback this fast.
You serious, mate? Like... literally serious?
No shit you failed.
Not only is informal language outside of quotes inappropriate in formal writing, but swear words ruin any and all credibility you have in your paper.
If this is the fastest way you learn to stop doing this, then good. Take the failed paper, and remember to not do this again.
Seems like you're still relatively new to university writing.
Stop with informal language unless the course is something relating to prose or creative writing. Idk what your English 104 course was, but considering its English, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY.
Learn formal writing and learn it fast, or else you are gonna have a bad time. Don't think that just because its a university that you can use whatever casual shit you think you can. Not being allowed to say "Fuck" or "Shit" isn't censorship, its learning how to write on a university/ college level.
Stop with the silly shit, and get it together.
If i was your prof i would have asked you to come during office hours and reprimand your ass. You got off light imo.
The only curse word that I think would ever be appropriate would be "Damn". As in writing a book report, "Jake's soul was damned to walk the earth due to his hubris." or an example in a regular paper would be like, "The results of Dr.Ford's experiment were damning". However, there are still better words to use than that one, It's important to always know who is reading your paper and always keep your emotions and personal opinions to an minimum, unless the subject calls for it.
You cannot be so invested in a piece you barely spent time on. This paper has zero to do with how you fit into society.
You've got it precisely backwards. Because you are now an adult, it is even more important to tailor your writing to your audience. Word choice never stops mattering. Audience awareness never stops mattering. It's your job to get other people to understand you.
My day job is a software engineer. I do a lot of writing that isn't code. I drop f-bombs all the time in conversation. Almost never in e-mail, especially if there's a chance that a customer will end up seeing it. In my case, I could use swearing in an e-mail to my boss because we're friends and I know he doesn't give a shit.
But in product documentation? Knowledge base articles? E-mails to customers? Never.
You're in school. The professor is your customer.
Your teacher isn't asking you to censor yourself. The point of a writing class is to learn how to write, and swearing is a cheap, imprecise shortcut. It's fine for casual conversation like this forum post, but for academic writing you should try to avoid short cuts.
Most of the examples you posted should've been cut. I personally think the bit about "went from 'I don't care about you' to 'fuck you'" would have been really powerful if it was the only swearing used because it would have given the escalation a nice punch that would have made it stand out. But taken with the rest of it, it loses its impact.
I agree with others who said that the reason for the F has far more to do with having cranked it out in 20 minutes than the swearing. If you put more effort into your essay and had just the one swearing usage, you might've still gotten the note but maybe not the F along side it.
Anyway. I'm not trying to dogpile on you. Writing is hard and takes practice. A single bad essay isn't going to sink your chances in the class. And at least it's just an F and not a failed interview or a pink slip. More than likely it'll get thrown out as an outlier and won't hurt your grade at all.
Keep at it, and good luck.
Poor GRIMES
Banned
rude
metalslimer
Member
lol I just realized the writing reminds me of True Detective season 2
brianmcdoogle
Member
"I don't understand why the symphony fired me when I started playing songs from Stankonia. Why are censoring my artistry!"
To be helpful and not continuing to clown on the OP, someone just suggested asking for a rewrite. This might be a good idea, expressing that you realize your errors and want to correct it. You may not get it, but it may give you some brownie points in your next assignment.
makingmusic476
Member
Common sense. That's not how being an adult in higher education works. How old are you? Are you gonna use lols, emojis and memes too while you're at it!? Prof is doing you a favor trying to prevent you from doing this in a real-world setting and costing you a job. Write as if it were a professional environment, unless clearly stated otherwise. Talk with your prof and see if you can resubmit it with the swears edited out.
SchrodingerC
Member
OP if you are an aspiring artist then you must know art and criticisms go hand in hand. Art would become stagnant without criticisms, and every artist needs critical opinions to grow. I sometimes get brought down to the brink of depression when I get harsh criticisms of my art, but I take them to heart and learn from my mistakes.
Please remember that, even if it seems painful.
Superkewl
Member
LOL, pretty much my first reaction as well.
From one music major to another, I think the lesson that you should take away from this thread is that its okay to be expressive and artistic, but theres a time, place and context for everything. There was a lot of assignments and essays that killed me due to how rigid and structured I had to make them - I just wanted to write some fucking music or put my thoughts onto paper, but thats not what the professor was looking for. Acknowledging and working within these societal norms and structures will help you become a better musician and a better adult!
(Also, if you dont put the clef and key on every line of a composition you deserve an F, straight up)
OP, earlier in the thread I said your prof was being too harsh, but having seen your excerpts, you totally deserved that F, bro. Putting aside the issue of the swearing, your writing is far, far too informal for academia. Go to your college library, or an online database like JSTOR, and read an article or two from an academic journal. That should give you an idea of the tone you should be aiming for. Like others have said, you dun fucked up, so take the L on this one, and work on improving your writing on the next assignment.
Imperfected
Member
Man if you're majoring in Music then what are you even doing getting in a pissing match with a professor in the English program? Shit out whatever garbage you think they want to read to get the grade you need to pass and move on with your life.
Christ, this is supposed to be one of the classes you can sleep through while you kill yourself working on the shit you actually care about. Don't make it harder than it has to be.
Christ, this is supposed to be one of the classes you can sleep through while you kill yourself working on the shit you actually care about. Don't make it harder than it has to be.
Affeinvasion
Member
As someone finishing up a PhD in music, there's really no better way to practice being creative within a rules-based framework. You don't go straight to Free Jazz or atonal expressionism. All of those performers and composers knew their way forwards and backwards around a Bach chorale.
Learn to love the subtle creative gestures that you can put into things that seem otherwise rigid and rote that maybe a regular audience member wouldn't even notice. That will make every task in school you do more fulfilling and you won't have to fight the exhausting fight against "the system" all the time.
Being a music student also teaches you that everything is a performance--even writing a paper is a performance. Performances are always for an audience, or what would be the point of doing them? Nobody likes performing to an empty or hostile audience. When you are able to touch on the things (regardless of medium) that make an audience feel joy or sorrow or any number of other emotions, that is what makes it all worthwhile.
To get a better sense for what I'm talking about, head to the library and check out Richard Schechner's Performance Studies: An Introduction. It's a fun read and will help you find the creative impulses in just about every act.
Earthbound64
Banned
I don't know, swearing in product documentation or knowledge base articles could be interesting.
KB 963264
Shit's fucked up, yo.
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