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[Skellig Gra]

I don’t understand people who are this ignorant, black women are beautiful.

There is a difference between being racist and not being attracted to black women. Problem is lumping everyone in to the same bucket which you kind of did. There are plenty of ugly people in every gender in every race. Just like the opposite is also true.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

There is a difference between being racist and not being attracted to black women. Problem is lumping everyone in to the same bucket.

Black women can look like anything. That's the problem with this mindset. Being black does not put you into looking like 1 type of thing or person. They can and do express most of the common facial attributes among people. Race is not genetic. It doesn't inform looks so much as I don't like dark skin. Which has a whole other set if racist and colorist issues associatef with them.

 

[WaffleTaco]

We have this thread every few months and like last time, yes it is racist. I will be happy to join you all in the exact same thread in a few months to say the same thing.

 

[highrider]

If you’re talking about physical appearance, I kind of defy anyone who doesn’t see beautiful people of all races. If you have cultural, religious aspects that inform that decision, that might even be worse.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Black women can look like anything. That's the problem with this mindset. Being black does not put you into looking like 1 type of thing or person. They can and do express most of the common facial attributes among people. Race is not genetic. It doesn't inform looks so much as I don't like dark skin. Which has a whole other set if racist and colorist issues associatef with them.

I’m with you. I’m just saying it’s not inherently racist to say I’m not attracted to black women. The person probably hasn’t seen a lot of black women because obviously there are beautiful women of every race. The situation in the OP is different cause it’s completely ruling it out forever when the dude clearly hasn’t met every black woman on the planet. So there is more to his stance.

 

[Royce McCutcheon]

Maybe you should tell your family to fuck off when it comes to who you date? You don’t have to dump your family to tell them that their attitude towards the people you date is unacceptable. That or let their racist views control your life. The choice is yours.

Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.

 

[Sparkedglory]

Having preferences is one thing, outright refusing to date anyone of a certain race is another thing entirely.

And that thing is racist.

Thank you. This is what I tell people

 

[Z..]

There is a difference between being racist and not being attracted to black women. Problem is lumping everyone in to the same bucket which you kind of did. There are plenty of ugly people in every gender in every race. Just like the opposite is also true.

This.

I'm attracted to just about every race except for maybe Mongolians and Filipinos and there wasn't a second of hesitation in my mind as to whether I considered it racist. It plain as day isn't... I have at least 2 close friends who are great examples of this since one is an asian bi female who is exclusively into blacks and won't date anyone unless they're black and a black friend who's only attracted to white girls. Are they immediately racist against their own ethnicities for having weird sexual preferences? Of course not. I love Pinoys and have a few Pinoy friends despite finding them an actively unnatractive people in general. At the same time I'm slighty prejudiced against most West European Romani peoples and yet find them absolutely gorgeous.

 

[Z..]

Thank you. This is what I tell people

It's sexuality "racism", not just plain' old racism. Read my post above, does that logic apply to the 2 cases I mentioned where both people outright refuse to date anyone of their own race?

 

[Infinite]

I’m with you. I’m just saying it’s not inherently racist to say I’m not attracted to black women. The person probably hasn’t seen a lot of black women because obviously there are beautiful women of every race. The situation in the OP is different cause it’s completely ruling it out forever when the dude clearly hasn’t met every black woman on the planet. So there is more to his stance.

It is quite frankly.

 

[Llyranor]

The way he says it, yes, but he could be just bad with words. Not giving a specific reason also points to yes.

BUT

I can also be a preference thing? If he likes girls with pale skin, he's obviously not looking for a black girl. In that case I wouldn't call it racist.

There are plenty of pale-skinned black women. So why make an all-encompassing racial comment unless he was... hmm.

 

[Royce McCutcheon]

I’m with you. I’m just saying it’s not inherently racist to say I’m not attracted to black women. The person probably hasn’t seen a lot of black women because obviously there are beautiful women of every race. The situation in the OP is different cause it’s completely ruling it out forever when the dude clearly hasn’t met every black woman on the planet. So there is more to his stance.

What? "I'VE only seen 5 black women, and that's enough for me to dismiss the entire race"

 

[Pandy]

Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.

They're the ones being disrespectful, and if they want to control that much of your life you really should distance yourself from them.

Seriously though, I feel for you. I can only imagine what it must be like to have parents/family that would freak out in a situation like that.

 

[Glass Rebel]

This.

I'm attracted to just about every race except for maybe Mongolians and Filipinos and there wasn't a second of hesitation in my mind as to whether I considered it racist. It plain as day isn't... I have at least 2 close friends who are great examples of this since one is an asian bi female who is exclusively into blacks and won't date anyone unless they're black and a black friend who's only attracted to white girls. Are they immediately racist against their own ethnicities for having weird sexual preferences? Of course not. I love Pinoys and have a few Pinoy friends despite finding them an actively unnatractive people in general. At the same time I'm slighty prejudiced against most West European Romani peoples and yet find them absolutely gorgeous.

This post is a riot. Yikes.

 

[Z..]

It is quite frankly.

You need to elaborate on that, though. Why is that the case and also is the person's own ethnicity relevant in any way?

Just stating something is a fact when that is quite clearly not the case in at least some instances isn't really very solid reasoning.

 

[Zareth]

Generally speaking, if you have to ask if something is racist, its probably racists.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I’m with you. I’m just saying it’s not inherently racist to say I’m not attracted to black women.

No you're not with me. Yes it is inherently racist.

The person probably hasn’t seen a lot of black women because obviously there are beautiful women of every race.

These thoughts have to exist in a reality. If you have barely met any black people and your opinion is "I'm not attracted to black people", what is informing that thought process? It isn't tangible thought or reason. I live in Canada and have a lot of white friends who can probably count the number of black people they interact with in like 1 hand. Expressing I'm not attracted to black people for them is literally informed by no tabgible experience. It's at best informed by media. You think media doesn't have a race problem.

The mind set people provided is flawed and it's racist. Black people do not all look the same. The odds there are not black people you are not attracted to based on a feature set preference (which most people can't even describe ironically) is fucking nil. Why are we all pretending this makes sense.

The situation in the OP is different cause it’s completely ruling it out forever when the dude clearly hasn’t met every black woman on the planet. So there is more to his stance.

You don't even need to meet every black person to know this is racist. Race is a social construct. Features are not a racialized thing 99% of the time.

 

[Skellig Gra]

What? "I'VE only seen 5 black women, and that's enough for me to dismiss the entire race"

You are conflating 2 things I said. To entirely dismiss the race forever is different than claiming to not find the women of said race attractive. You can always meet more women who might change your mind vs you are completely close minded.

No you're not with ne. Yes it is inherently racist.



These thoughts have to exist in a reality. If you have barely met any black people and your opinion is "I'm not attracted to black people", what is informing that thought process? It isn't tangible thought or reason. I live in Canada and have a lot of white friends who can probably count the number of black people they interact with in like 1 hand. Expressing I'm not attracted to black people for them is literally informed by no tabgible experience. It's at best informed by media. You think media doesn't have a race problem.

The mind set people provided is flawed and it's racist. Black people do not all look the same. The odds there are not black people you are not attracted to based on a feature set preference (which most people can't even describe ironically) is fucking nil. Why are we all pretending this makes sense.



You don't even need to meet every black person to know this is racist. Race is a social construct. Features are not a racialized thing 99% of the time.

I’m not claiming this is some intelligent person we are dealing with. I just don’t think it’s that simple. Attraction is a weird thing. There are plenty of racists who are attracted to other races but view them as beneath them.

 

[ManUnkindH]

OP your friend is a FUCKING idiot!!

 

[Via Purifico]

If you're talking about physical appearance, I kind of defy anyone who doesn't see beautiful people of all races. If you have cultural, religious aspects that inform that decision, that might even be worse.

I can understand culture but at the same time it only goes so far. I was in a relationship with someone from an entirely different culture from my own and we made it work for 3 years.

We learned about each others cultures and bonded over that.

 

[Llyranor]

This.

I'm attracted to just about every race except for maybe Mongolians and Filipinos and there wasn't a second of hesitation in my mind as to whether I considered it racist. It plain as day isn't... I have at least 2 close friends who are great examples of this since one is an asian bi female who is exclusively into blacks and won't date anyone unless they're black and a black friend who's only attracted to white girls. Are they immediately racist against their own ethnicities for having weird sexual preferences? Of course not. I love Pinoys and have a few Pinoy friends despite finding them an actively unnatractive people in general. At the same time I'm slighty prejudiced against most West European Romani peoples and yet find them absolutely gorgeous.

That awkward moment when you go on a date with a SE Asian girl you find attractive then discover she's Filipino...

 

[Vitten]

Depends on the reason I guess.
I might understand if it's purely for practical reasons and you don't want to deal with all the complications. For instance because your family /surroundings would be very opposed and you'd find it too much of a hassle to deal with all the hostility. Or you have a diferent religion and you fear it will become a big problem later on.

Otherwise, it does seems pretty racist. A pretty woman is a pretty woman, regardless of race.

 

[Cyframe]

This.

I'm attracted to just about every race except for maybe Mongolians and Filipinos and there wasn't a second of hesitation in my mind as to whether I considered it racist. It plain as day isn't... I have at least 2 close friends who are great examples of this since one is an asian bi female who is exclusively into blacks and won't date anyone unless they're black and a black friend who's only attracted to white girls. Are they immediately racist against their own ethnicities for having weird sexual preferences? Of course not. I love Pinoys and have a few Pinoy friends despite finding them an actively unnatractive people in general. At the same time I'm slighty prejudiced against most West European Romani peoples and yet find them absolutely gorgeous.

Fetishism is a form of racism for that Asian friend. And there's a thing called internalized racism for that Black friend there. Your's I would say it's just racism.

 

[Z..]

That awkward moment when you go on a date with a SE Asian girl you find attractive then discover she's Filipino...

There's definitely plenty of examples of gorgeous Pinoys around, I'm just saying I don't find the average Piony person attractive where as I would say I find about 70% of everyone I see on a daily basis attractive to some degree (not hard to please is the point).

 

[Alter_Fridge]

Depends on the reason I guess.
I might understand if it's purely for practical reasons and you don't want to deal with all the complications. For instance because your family /surroundings would be very opposed and you'd find it too much of a hassle to deal with all the hostility. Or you have a diferent religion and you fear it will become a big problem later on.

Otherwise, it does seems pretty racist. A pretty woman is a pretty woman, regardless of race.

Well the heart wants what the heart wants (you can replace wants with lusts if you like)

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.

If the key to your family's acceptance is no white people they are racist. And it's dumb and even though I entirely get why you wouldn't complicate it given you probably have met lots of other people of other races you get on well with it's still just going to be a perpetual cycle of stupidity. If your whole family is like this now and no one does or says anything, your whole family will be like this forever.

 

[Llyranor]

Coming from a my family, I personally would have an extremely difficult time introducing say a white woman to my family. My family don't like white people, I didn't know what an edible cracker was until I could read. Even dating a white girl was a damn near intervention style incident. *my mother was 100% positive my girlfriend was a Satanist for wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt.* I'm not willing to dump my family for marriage. So I'll likely be marrying black the first time around.

Your family is racist.

Source: my family

There's definitely plenty of examples of gorgeous Pinoys around, I'm just saying I don't find the average Piony person attractive where as I would say I find about 70% of everyone I see on a daily basis attractive to some degree (not hard to please is the point).

So wouldn't you consider that 'I don't find Pinoys attractive' comment silly? Based on your claims, it's not even true, so why make such an authoritative statement?

 

[Two Words]

Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.

Never said cut them off. Telling your family that who you date is not their choice and that you don’t need or want to hear their racial attitudes about it isn’t cutting them out of your life.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I’m not claiming this is some intelligent person we are dealing with.

And that's the issue. Everyone here giving the simple, yes this is racist is not a genius nor are we out here breaking it down like we have masters of social theory. It's just that pople dont want to apply basic thought to this because its easier to handwave racism away.

I just don’t think it’s that simple.

It is honestly

Attraction is a weird thing. There are plenty of racists who are attracted to other races but view them as beneath them.

Well that isn't the discussion. If you dont find black women attractive then it should be super easy to say why.

 

[Z..]

Fetishism is a form of racism for that Asian friend. And there's a thing called internalized racism for that Black friend there. Your's I would say it's just racism.

Not sure it's a racially motivated fetishism with her... guys are mostly casual affairs for her so she goes black because she's a self professed size queen and the odds are usually better. She is known to have engaged with males of other races if she is aware of them packing a wallop. You have a point on girls since she is exclusively into blacks but we've talked about it before and she says they just look better to her and quite frankly I'd agree black females are among the most attractive creatures walking around!

As for "just racism"... why? I love the Philippines, visiting it is one of my most prized memories and I loved the locals, everyone was incredibly kind and welcoming and they are easily some of my favorite peoples along with Kiwis and Italians. Yet I'm somehow racist against them for not being attracted to them because... ?

Does that mean I'm not racist towards slavics for finding them hot despite my ambivalence towards them culturally? Or is that racist too since it's objectification of a culture I have no particular preference toward?

 

[sixteen-bit]

yeah

 

[Skellig Gra]

And that's the issue. Everyone here giving the simple, yes this is racist is not a genius nor are we out here breaking it down like we have masters of social theory. It's just that pople dont want to apply basic thought to this because its easier to handwave racism away.

Most likely explanation for the OP's friend is that he's racist, no denying that. I have no intention of excusing racism. Like I said before though attraction is a weird thing. Even speaking for myself what I've been in to has changed drastically over the years, and part of that comes from expanding my world view/traveling the world/meeting new people. If I never left my initial bubble who knows what I'd think.

Another thing to consider is the lack of proper representation in media/entertainment. Which is of course itself inherently racist.

 

[Two Words]

When people say “they don’t find black women attracgive”, what they’re likely doing is thinking up an abstract black woman in their minds, much like how they would think up an abstract table in their mind when told to think of a table. For them, the abstract idea of a black woman only encapsulates all of the features more common in black people that they find negative. They then make the crazy leap of faith and put that abstract model of a black women on all black women.

When they do this with other women, they also think of the abstract Idea of women of other races. And they just HAPPEN to build an abstract model of Asian, white, Latin women with generally attractive qualities. This is where the racism lies.

 

[blakep267]

I mean yeah. If a person is attractive or has a great personality, it should matter if they are blue

 

[Z..]

So wouldn't you consider that 'I don't find Pinoys attractive' comment silly? Based on your claims, it's not even true, so why make such an authoritative statement?

Like I stated, I find most people that I see attractive. I do mean that, on the average train ride to work I'd fuck 3 out of every 5 people I see, if I could. I like ordinary looking men and women. Not just ones I'm frequently exposed to, either, I find alot of cultures I have barely any contact with at all very attractive despite barely having interacted with them. I was in the Philippines for 3 months and I saw maybe 3 or 4 people I found attractive that whole time. Clearly, I'm biased against Pinoy as far as attraction goes.

 

[demosthenes]

Life ain't simple like that man. I never understood how y'all could speak so freely of cutting off your family. Don't you love your family? I can't imagine a scenario where my mother isn't in my life, definitely won't be over who I marry. This ain't immediate family only, it's the whole tree. If I cut off my mama to marry a white girl, I would have uncle's, brothers, and cousins ready to stomp me. It's disrespectful.

My dad's side is pretty religious. Not crazy religious but they all believe in god, go to church every week, pray a lot, etc. When I didn't get confirmed they all shunned me for like a year. They were confused and thought something was wrong with me because I didn't believe in God. Not outspoken really but a quiet shunning I guess. They eventually came around. It's not the same level but i feel like people eventually come around as long as the bond is there to begin with.

 

[Youth Crew]

I mean yeah. If a person is attractive or has a great personality, it should matter if they are blue

What if you don’t find a certain race attractive?

Example: Skin color, hair color/style, etc.

It’s not something you can control. Similar to sexuality.

 

[Two Words]

What if you don’t find a certain race attractive?

Example: Skin color, hair color/style, etc.

It’s not something you can control. Similar to sexuality.

FAAAAAAAALSE.


Sexual orientation is not the same as sexual preferences of traits. Nobody is born attracted to a particular skin color or sexually dismissive of another skin color. That shit is learned behavior and can be unlearned. If you literally find a particular skin color unattractive fullstop, then you almost certainly have some negative bias towards that skin color. I simply cannot see how somebody can live a life where they see people of a certain skin color and treat them totally fairly and with out bias in any way, but for some crazy treason the color of their skin is enough to make them completely unattractive. The human mind is built to find certain things attractive innately. Skin color is not one of those things.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Most likely explanation for the OP's friend is that he's racist, no denying that. I have no intention of excusing racism. Like I said before though attraction is a weird thing. Even speaking for myself what I've been in to has changed drastically over the years, and part of that comes from expanding my world view/traveling the world/meeting new people. If I never left my initial bubble who knows what I'd think.

Another thing to consider is the lack of proper representation in media/entertainment. Which is of course itself inherently racist.

Attraction is not that weird. It's heavily influenced by socialization, exposure and culture. It's not magic like everyone pretends. It can and will be shaped with experiences, worldview, traveling and exposure.

That's why "I'm not attracted to black people" is racist. That's why "I don't like dark skin" is racist and colorist. These things are social constructs. Race does not inform looks. Until people accept that they are not getting out of this without being challeneged.

Example here.

What if you don’t find a certain race attractive?

Example: Skin color, hair color/style, etc.

It’s not something you can control. Similar to sexuality.

Race does not inform looks. Skin color has a long ass history of racism, classism and cultural demonization. Not finding dark skin attractive is more likely informed by colorism than it is by innate taste.

Sexual orientation is not informed by culture. It's pretty defined early in life.

 

[Doc_Drop]

Yes, writing off an entire race of people in terms of dating is racist. The fact that's even a question is mind boggling

Is it racist to say “I do not find x, y, and z features of that race to be attractive, therefore I generally won’t date them”?

I'd love to know what x, y, and z features are. The people in this thread using algebra to not talk about exactly what characteristics they mean is quite suspect

 

[cpp_is_king]

It seems like the terms “racism” and “bias” are slowly converging to have the same meaning. Which is unfortunate, because it’s a very helpful distinction in the larger sociological context.

Not all biases are created equal, but lumping them under a single linguistic blanket dilutes the severity of *actual* racism

 

[Two Words]

It seems like the terms “racism” and “bias” are slowly converging to have the same meaning. Which is unfortunate, because it’s a very helpful distinction in the larger sociological context.

Not all biases are created equal, but lumping them under a single linguistic blanket dilutes the severity of *actual* racism

Racism is essentially racial bias. I see no problem here.

 

[Cyframe]

Not sure it's a racially motivated fetishism with her... guys are mostly casual affairs for her so she goes black because she's a self professed size queen and the odds are usually better. She is known to have engaged with males of other races if she is aware of them packing a wallop. You have a point on girls since she is exclusively into blacks but we've talked about it before and she says they just look better to her and quite frankly I'd agree black females are among the most attractive creatures walking around!

As for "just racism"... why? I love the Philippines, visiting it is one of my most prized memories and I loved the locals, everyone was incredibly kind and welcoming and they are easily some of my favorite peoples along with Kiwis and Italians. Yet I'm somehow racist against them for not being attracted to them because... ?

Does that mean I'm not racist towards slavics for finding them hot despite my ambivalence towards them culturally? Or is that racist too since it's objectification of a culture I have no particular preference toward?

You just parroted the mandingo stereotype. That Black men, have huge members, usually. That's fetishism.

Everyone within a group can look variably different. So to make broad judgements on an entire ethnic and racial group. That's racism.

 

[Measley]

You're pretty much saying that an entire race of people are ugly. I have preferences, but there are definitely attractive people outside that preference. For example, Asain women are not my preference, but there are some gorgeous Asaian women out there that I would date and/or marry without hesitation.

 

[Skellig Gra]

Attraction is not that weird. It's heavily influenced by socialization, exposure and culture. It's not magic like everyone pretends. It can and will be shaped with experiences, worldview, traveling and exposure.

That's why "I'm not attracted to black people" is racist. That's why "I don't like dark skin" is racist and colorist. These things are social constructs. Race does not inform looks. Until people accept that they are not getting out of this without being challeneged.

Example here.

Fair enough on that example. I got a lot of that myself for being a guy with red hair. Not that I'm comparing my plight to any minorities. My ultimate point is that there are beautiful people of every race (because individual looks vary so incredibly person by person) and if you haven't found any you find attractive you should keep looking because they are definitely out there. If you choose not to look and shut it out completely then you are racist.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

It seems like the terms “racism” and “bias” are slowly converging to have the same meaning. Which is unfortunate, because it’s a very helpful distinction in the larger sociological context.

Not all biases are created equal, but lumping them under a single linguistic blanket dilutes the severity of *actual* racism

Racism and bias are not the same but whay you have going on in this thread is racism and shit is noy being diluted because it bugs you and you disagree. Stop.

 

[Doc_Drop]

Not sure it's a racially motivated fetishism with her... guys are mostly casual affairs for her so she goes black because she's a self professed size queen and the odds are usually better. She is known to have engaged with males of other races if she is aware of them packing a wallop. You have a point on girls since she is exclusively into blacks but we've talked about it before and she says they just look better to her and quite frankly I'd agree black females are among the most attractive creatures walking around!

As for "just racism"... why? I love the Philippines, visiting it is one of my most prized memories and I loved the locals, everyone was incredibly kind and welcoming and they are easily some of my favorite peoples along with Kiwis and Italians. Yet I'm somehow racist against them for not being attracted to them because... ?

Does that mean I'm not racist towards slavics for finding them hot despite my ambivalence towards them culturally? Or is that racist too since it's objectification of a culture I have no particular preference toward?

I think you need to have a think about your attitude, language, and general outlook because you sound creepy as fuck

 

[cpp_is_king]

Racism is essentially racial bias. I see no problem here.

I’ve always interpreted “racism” to mean a broad overarching sense of superiority/disdain against a certain race. There’s a difference between “Indian people smell bad” and “i hate Indian people and the mere sight of one enrages me”

They are both biases, but I would argue only the second one should be called racism

 

[Two Words]

You just parroted the mandingo stereotype. That Black men, have huge members, usually. That's fetishism.

Everyone within a group can look variably different. So to make broad judgements on an entire ethnic and racial group. That's racism.

Yeah, this stereotype has always been gross and gets passed around freely because it is supposedly flattering for black men. I am sure some stereotype in the other direction like “Asian women have small, tight vaginas” would not be spread so freely.

 

[Hoshigumi]

If everybody on Earth had the same skin tone, and OP's friend didn't date people with black hair, is he hairist?