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I just wanna talk

GAF, I am not perfect. I don't think I am and try not to act like I am. I know those of you who've interacted with me have seen my extremely goofy, often shitposting side.. but truth is I suffer from some seriously crippling anxiety and depression. I can barely function outside of work and my family. I know it's normal to have some level of anxiety, and it's not so bad that I'm on medication because I've learned to deal with by - surprise - joking around and acting like I'm not things seriously. I'm constantly deflecting, avoiding things I don't want to talk. It's not fair to others and so I've been trying to work on that. Truth is I don't know a lot about a lot of things. I'm only really good at computers, games, software development, my job, and I think I've got this parenting thing figured out too. I'm starting to not be scared of asking questions because I don't care if I look stupid if people understand I just want to be more informed on the subject. I have gotten into the habit of asking someone a question, even on GAF, that could easily be answered by googling it. I am not lazy, I just understand things better by talking about. It allows me to get someone's point of view on the subject and ask questions that will help clarify things for me to understand. It's all normal stuff I guess.

but I've got this like.. emptiness feeling that I can't shake.

and just know I'm sorry for being a weird asshole at times. I'm trying to fit in. Find my place in this great group here. It's not easy for me for some reason. I don't know why. I know I've always struggled with trying too hard.

I really fucking hate typing shit on a fucking phone. Good lord. I'm done. I'll type the rest of my streaming thought tomorrow. Fuck this lol
 
If you've got the parenting thing figured out fill me in.
One thing I've been trying to remind myself lately is that no one is going to remember your mistakes but you. So you might as well not worry about them either.
We've all got a feeling that something is missing or could be better but as long as you are taking care of your family you are successful. From one internet stranger to another, keep your head up and carry on!
 
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Here is a sweet picture of a red 1992 Dodge Colt for your collection SurprisedPikachu SurprisedPikachu


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Sometimes I get so bored with life I poke and fuck with the smooth edges of our existence just to see what responds. Believe me, 'things' push back.

There's a lot out there waiting to be explored and poked and prodded when you're ready.
 
You have kids OP if you get that feeling go give them a hug and play some games with them, sometimes doing the simple stuff with loved ones puts things in perspective.
 
Do you have a group of friends IRL that you can hang, relax, chill and be your stupid silly self with? (honest question, this is v important)
 
GAF, I am not perfect. I don't think I am and try not to act like I am. I know those of you who've interacted with me have seen my extremely goofy, often shitposting side.. but truth is I suffer from some seriously crippling anxiety and depression. I can barely function outside of work and my family. I know it's normal to have some level of anxiety, and it's not so bad that I'm on medication because I've learned to deal with by - surprise - joking around and acting like I'm not things seriously. I'm constantly deflecting, avoiding things I don't want to talk. It's not fair to others and so I've been trying to work on that. Truth is I don't know a lot about a lot of things. I'm only really good at computers, games, software development, my job, and I think I've got this parenting thing figured out too. I'm starting to not be scared of asking questions because I don't care if I look stupid if people understand I just want to be more informed on the subject. I have gotten into the habit of asking someone a question, even on GAF, that could easily be answered by googling it. I am not lazy, I just understand things better by talking about. It allows me to get someone's point of view on the subject and ask questions that will help clarify things for me to understand. It's all normal stuff I guess.

but I've got this like.. emptiness feeling that I can't shake.

and just know I'm sorry for being a weird asshole at times. I'm trying to fit in. Find my place in this great group here. It's not easy for me for some reason. I don't know why. I know I've always struggled with trying too hard.

I really fucking hate typing shit on a fucking phone. Good lord. I'm done. I'll type the rest of my streaming thought tomorrow. Fuck this lol

First of, fair play for typing that on a phone :messenger_tears_of_joy:

Secondly, everyone has some level of anxiety, depression and stress in their lives.

We are very similar OP, in that I don't know a lot about a lot of things either, and if I read between the lines, I think you mean people and emotions? I'm world-class at processes, process knowledge and how to make machines run like a dream, but I lack the desire to socialise with 90% of people.

Anyway, my best advice I can give Is this; You are who are you are. You can't change that, but you can own it. If you say something stupid in front of people, laugh it up, laugh with them, play it up or downplay it, don't back down or try and act like someone you're not.

If you're weird, live up to it, it worked for Buckethead and Weird Al Yanukovych. Be the guy you are and you'll find your place to fit in. You can't fit a square peg in a round hole, and if you use brute force to smash it through, the other kids won't be happy that you've broken their toy because of your own insecurities.

Never apologise when there's nothing to apologise for. Only apologise if you sincerely mean it and because you hurt someone else.

Think of it this way; maybe everyone you know is bored to tears with the same old tedius shit in life. A weirdo, an odd-ball and a kooky character can bring some light in to people's dark, dreary and gray monotonous lives. Same shit, different day? Be the different shit, every day.
 
What sort of things do you want to talk about? Do you feel like you have to dance around the topics you actually wish to discuss in order to fit in?
 
If you didn't say this i wouldn't have noticed. 🤣🤗

I can get what you feel, and i can understand too. You're doing good cause parenting is one hell of an scary concept to a lot of people, and if you feel comfortable there...then you are on track.

Whenever you feel talking, we're here!
 
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