Smells kind of like bullshit to me. If by "pheromones" you mean cologne (Axe, Tag, whatever), I actually remember a chemistry professor I had saying something interesting about that. The scents are actually something that appeals to males more, because they will like the smell of it and buy it. The whole "It actually attracts women" thing is just a marketing ploy.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
Smells kind of like bullshit to me. If by "pheromones" you mean cologne (Axe, Tag, whatever), I actually remember a chemistry professor I had saying something interesting about that. The scents are actually something that appeals to males more, because they will like the smell of it and buy it. The whole "It actually attracts women" thing is just a marketing ploy.
inspectah derek
Member
It doesn't have to be done with the intention of picking up girls. I've seen folks in here with approach anxiety or "I hate valentines day" attitudes (girls can feel the same way). This can be good for them/me.
See, every time you actively engage a girl, no matter how small the interaction, its a rep that strengthens your social muscles. Everytime you let someone walk by without acknowledging them is a rep that strengthens your avoidance muscles. You can Just write your name in the cards without the number, say happy valentines day with a smile and bail. Or you can go for more like the OP did. Its a way to leverage the holiday into something fun. The cards are $3.00 for a pack of 16.
It's valentine's day. Bring 1 flower. She will be happy.
Don't blame me if it's not working out
Yeah no. If you have a nice cologne it can do miracles, my ex of 5 years told me, other women told me.
I also agree that it is a cute idea. I don't generally bother about Valentine's day myself (meaning I am going to wake up in the morning to play BF3 and in the evening hopefully have at least some progress on my graduation thesis), but I wouldn't mind some silly random card from a stranger, on the contrary, it could make my day.
After this thread, I think I might actually just go out and compliment and hug strangers just for the fun of it (also because it is free and I think I could use a hug or two and it would be awesome day to get away with it). ;P
Word. Seriously, I admit that sometimes I even have odd desire to kiss some random person to the neck, just because they smell sooooo good for example in a bus queue.
OrangeGrayBlue
Member
Pheromones =/= cologne. Good cologne can go far if you don't bathe in it and find a good scent. It makes women want to be close to you because you'll be pleasant to at least one of their nine senses. Pheromones are different though. They are the little bottles of stuff that are marketed as imitating/enhancing the natural human scents that one emits when horny or during sex. It's supposed to make a woman subconsciously want to sleep with you based on a discrete, hormone based scent basically. Similar to cologne, but more psuedoscience than art. I'm of the opinion that you should just stick with a small dab of a good cologne. She should only be able to smell it when hugging you or standing within a foot or two of you, as might be the case on a dance floor or at a small restaurant table. If your cologne can be detected from 6 feet away she'll be turned off by your lack of subtlety and have no reason to get near you. In fact she'll want to stay away if you apply it too strongly because it will become unpleasant at close proximity. In regards to pheromones, though, there is no magic scent. Women aren't going to flock to Steve Buscemi because of his scent. He can improve his chances with a responsible amount of a good cologne, though.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Penn&Teller debunked pheromones in one of their Bullshit! Episodes
Cologne is good though. Many girls have told me I smell really good. I can't smell it cause I am eternally constipated, but as long as they like it right?
Cologne is good though. Many girls have told me I smell really good. I can't smell it cause I am eternally constipated, but as long as they like it right?
Hahah. Freudian slip perhaps.
hawkshockey11
Banned
week and a half ago.
Poor babe. It is totally understandable you still think of her and want her back. I know you most likely neither need them nor want them, but you still have my sympathy points (even if I am kinda wallowing in small dose of self-pity myself).
Just have some talks with the newer woman, let her make your self-esteem a bit better with nice compliments (and you can also make her feel better) and see will it evolve to anything fancy.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Oshit I swear that means something totally different in my mother language!!!
Oh jeez, that changes everything. Yes, it's too soon. I say go ahead, date them, but please go slow with them. Go out many dates. Don't have sex yet, you tell them why, they will most likely understand and find you adorable, but you have to give yourself some pacing
orientalNoodle
Banned
Is it a good idea to sneak/break into your date apartment? I want to surprise her on V-day by decorating her apartment with memorial items that we encountered on our previous 2 dates. I think it is sweet.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Well, it depends how long they have known each other and do he has a key or not. If the girl trusts you a key, I personally think it is quite fine to sneak in and do your magic...
But when it falls to the break in category after only two dates, I would also go with that "NO". You would only make yourself look like a total stalker.
And darling, what would that language be then?
So I asked her out to see the blue man group with me, and she seemed genuinely disappointed/interested she couldn't go because she already had a dinner planned with friends. Also the thursday I was going to suggest she pointed out she had her skiing thing already planned out that day (which I did know of in advance, but figured I'd ask anyways).
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
I'm guessing it's bad form to ask someone out for valentines day the night before
I dont care if it falls through, which is likely, but is it rude?
I dont care if it falls through, which is likely, but is it rude?
hawkshockey11
Banned
No really I appreciate the sentiments. I am going downtown with two girls from work next week and I will take it from there. (for some odd reason people and friends want to see me drunk)
We haven't seen each other outside of work yet so maybe things will open up. I am not going to be working there much longer so I won't have to worry about work awkwardness if things do develop
I want to pace for sure, but I don't want to let chances get away. Casual dating seems the best start then.
I had a "moment" yesterday when I wanted to drive the 3 hours to my ex to ask for her back on V-day. Thankfully one of our mutual friends put some reason in to me on facebook.
That was almost bad.
orientalNoodle
Banned
BronzeWolf
Banned
The language of my people
Why the fuck would it be rude? If she has no plans you are SAVING her from a lonely Vday. She should be thanking you
Did she suggest ANY day she will be available?
OrangeGrayBlue
Member
NO.
If you've been on two dates, you've likely been romantically involved with this girl for about 4-6 weeks, I'm guessing. That is NOT long enough! She won't sentimentally reminisce over things that happened in January. It's too early in the game. She won't find it sweet, she'll think that a sweet guy is turning into a stalker. Her opinion of you is not cemented well enough to make this ok. She is still likely in the "getting to know you" phase and doing this will not end well. It becomes ok to do something on that scale when you've been dating someone steadily for, say, more than four months. Before that is a no no.
edit- It looks like you already got the point from the last couple replies, sorry if this is redundant.
Hypereides
Member
The language of my people
Dont point with that naughty finger, who knows where its been.
Maybe. Maybe?
You don't need to put that "maybe" in that kind of sentence.
Just saying.
*pat pat* Attaboy.
A stupid guestions kinda deserves a sarcastic answer.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Ups, the site has hotlink prevention! sorry for giving yall the finger! was not my intention. I swear the original gif was the cutest thing.
orientalNoodle
Banned
Oh, just to be clear, her roommate is actually a good friend of my and that is how I can sneak in. But yea, I have already abandoned the idea.
Hahah. Hey, the finger fits perfectly well into my today's theme so no need to be sorry.
If you still now want to be a gentleman, you will go and find cutest possible gif to make for it.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Hahah. Hey, the finger fits perfectly well into my today's theme so no need to be sorry.
If you still now want to be a gentleman, you will go and find cutest possible gif to make for it.
hit F5
Lol. That in some odd way manages to be actually quite adorable, even if I have arachnophobia.
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
I just sent the text asking if she had anything to do tomorrow
Hypereides
Member
I wouldnt take Valentines day seriously either way, and its kinda bad timing to send a text the night before it anyway.
Hey, she might be surprisingly happy about it, if she has nothing else planned.
The wildest thing I am most likely going to do today (it is already 14th in here) is to play BF3 and hopefully be a beast.
Hahaha. Come on, if you don't take it that seriously why not to ask?
Awww. If you need it, I am always (in this sentence always means perhaps sometimes maybe if I am lucky) there for you with my mawkish comments.
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
Welp. Already had plans. I'm only slightly disappointed.
Past me wouldn't have even done that much
Pokerface.jpg
Past me wouldn't have even done that much
Pokerface.jpg
Hypereides
Member
Had a feeling this would happen. Sorry on your behalf broskin. Still hope you get a good V-day for what its worth.
I would rather have a great time playing Battlefield 3, than cherish a commercial fabricated day made to suck your wallets dry.
Its fine if some people are into that, but its kinda predictable and not as fun as doing it on a casuall spontaneous day. I'd rather choose to surprise a girl, on a different time and date.
That, and Im a cheap date too.
EDIT: Holy damn DEJA-VU! I feel like I have posted this before.
I feel you there.
Luckily Valentine's day in here isn't at least yet totally ruined by American commercialism and drowned in a sea of schmaltz.
Spontaneous and random sound good, even if I didn't take the chocolate bar from the old gentleman in the bus, who offered one to me totally spontaneously couple of days ago after giving me his seat. He had a bowler hat and a wool coat, but something didn't really add up - who actually always carries a huge chocolate bar in his inside breast pocket...
Live Free or Die
Banned
I use sex panther cologne. 60% of the time it works every time.
BronzeWolf
Banned
First Valentin's Day I spend with a girlfriend...excited
EDIT: I've had girlfriends before, but something always happened on Vday, mostly work traveling
EDIT: I've had girlfriends before, but something always happened on Vday, mostly work traveling
Hypereides
Member
For me it would be, vinyl records, bringing some boxwine to the old victorian neighbourhood of Copenhagen for a stroll, which has this retro, humble and openminded feel to it (Read: Hipster central) and grab some hamburgers at a deserted busstop. Talk. Have some laughs, Flirt.
But youre here representing the fairer sex, why dont you suggest some ideas for the other fellas.
Aside from accepting chocolate from strangers. That could wrong. Or right? Im kidding! No Im not?
Won't be able to see mine for another month
But I made her this painting.
Bitches love paintings.
BronzeWolf
Banned
And I love bitches
Hypereides
Member
True dat. Bitches need lovin' too.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I apologize in advance, this is going to be a long post, but my story is kind of long so please bare with it.
I met this girl 3 years ago at work. She was new and I talked to her just to be nice. She asked me out to the movies. After that, I asked her out to hang out. After that we started going out regularly. No one at work knew anything. Our job is a seasonal thing, we only work for a few months a year and then no work for some months again (around 6 months of work and 6 of nothing more or less). Well, our work was ending and I wanted to know where this was going so I talked to her and she told me she wasn't ready for a serious relationship right then and there because she had recently broken up with her ex and still had some feelings for him. I told her ok and maybe in the future when she gets over that and fixes all that we could do something. I didn't talk to or see her for the whole time there was no work.
So the new season starts and we see each other there for the first time in 6 months. I was already over her since nothing serious really happened. She calls me up that same day wanting to hang out. I say yes and meet up with her but I made the mistake of not asking her if she had sorted out all her shit about the ex because I assumed she had since she called me up. Well, we start dating again and after a few months I talk to her about us, like where is this going etc. She then tells me she still has issues with her ex and I tell her why the hell is she messing around with me. I tell her that I want something serious with her but if she's like that nothing can happen. I even asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend to which she said no because it wouldn't be fair to me since she has that whole situation with her ex, but if it wasn't for that she would say yes and if I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend she would ask me to be her boyfriend. Then we proceeded into a heavy make out session, dunno why, the mood was right. This part of me asking her to be my girlfriend happened twice and both times she said the same thing, the second time was months after this time.
We kept dating despite knowing all about this and knowing it wasn't a good idea. She met my parents, which I didn't want her to unless it was going to be something serious. We ended up having sex a couple of times. The season ended and we kept dating. But for a few weeks she was flaking hard core, she wouldn't have time for me ever to hang out, would take forever or not reply to texts or answer phone calls. I got fed up with her shit of not making a decision about us so I decided to end it there. Told her I'm done with her shit. Didn't talk to her anymore after that. She texted me a few times during the whole down time from work but I just ignored her.
Then the new season at work started. I was done with her, like I said, I didn't want to deal with her shit anymore because that last time really hurt me since I was very into the whole situation. It was a very hard time for me and I felt like shit for a while. So I was ignoring her, not giving her any attention or talking to her, just minding my own business. Note that during that down time I started hitting the gym and I wasn't my lanky looking self anymore, now I looked huge compared to before. She texted me like soon after starting work one night telling me I looked so different and if she could call me. I said yes because I didn't want to be an asshole. She talked to me for like 45 minutes and the whole time I was just answering with "mhm" or "hmm" or "uh-huh", you know, not caring about anything. At one point she asked me when we were going to hang out. I was like umm... what? She told me we could do whatever it didn't matter, and I just said, ummm I dunno. And then after the awkward silence she kept talking bullshit and I kept with my responses. After a bit she ended the call because she felt she was holding me from going to sleep, which she was. After that, no more texts or calls for a month.
Then comes the work's xmas party where apparently I was an asshole to her somehow and she got pissed at me and insulted me and stormed off. Like an hour later she texted me saying she's sorry, she didn't mean to say that. I told her I didn't give a shit. She then called me saying she's sorry bla bla bla. Then she says that we need to talk, she has some things to tell me. I'm like sure, I have some things to say too because I wanted to tell her all the shit that pissed me off and caused me to not want to deal with her anymore.
The next day we meet up and talk for like 5 hours. I told her all the shit that pissed me off, her not having time to hang out with me, like she sometimes would be great but then she just acted like she didn't give a fuck, how for my bday she waited until the last second to say anything to me and didn't do shit for my bday, and a whole bunch of other shit, too many to list. She either said she's sorry, gave an explanation which I would tear it apart, or gave me the reason on whatever I said. At the end of that long conversation I asked her what was the point of all of this, what did she want out of this because I thought that was going to be just clear things up and move on but to me it felt like she wanted something more. She then asks me for another chance. In my head I was like wtf? really?? After thinking about it I ask her if she's sure this is what she wants. She said yes. I asked her if she's sure she wants to be with me, she said yes. I asked her if there was anyone else in the picture, her ex or anyone else, she said no. Again, I asked if she was sure about this, and she said yes. I told her that honestly I would like to again but I was kinda scared to get involved with her again because of how it went before, but if she was sure then yeah, let's do it.
So after that, we started dating again. She was acting better, had time to hang out etc. We would hang out, hold hands, kiss, make out every time we went out and it really felt like things were going good. She didn't want to come home though because she didn't feel comfortable seeing my parents again after all that went on. After a few weeks though, she started acting up again, not having time to hang out (mind you it isn't like I asked her to hang out every day, at most I asked her to hang out once or twice a week and she couldn't make that happen). I asked her out on a Monday to go out that Friday and she waited until 2 hours before we were supposed to meet to tell me she wouldn't be able to make it and that Saturday she wouldn't be able to make it either. That just pissed me off. I asked her out the next Monday and talked to her about it. I asked her about what happened, why did she bail like that, she gave me a bullshit excuse that she thought she had told me, which she didn't. I asked her why couldn't she invite me, if it was me in that situation I would have invited her, she said she didn't feel comfortable bringing someone to her friend's house. She said if it was a different kind of activity she would have invited me which I find hard to believe. I told her that it felt like her friends were more important than me and she said that she just doesn't like to break promises or that if she already said she was going or doing something she doesn't like to back out of things (that's why I said I would have invited her if it was me in that situation). She also said that she's always been like this, that I should know, that she never sets anything up, she lets the other person do all the planning like asking her out etc. I told her, if you're like that then fine, but if I'm the one always asking you out and you say you can't all the time then it sucks and it feels like you aren't into it. When people are into each other they make time to be with that person and it feels like she's not into me or this whole relationship thing. Then I asked her what are we? And she just stood there, and I said well if I introduce you to some friends how do I introduce you? And she said I can't say she's my girlfriend because she isn't and I said well I'm not introducing you as my friend either. And she said if it was her introducing me she would say I'm the guy she's seeing. She then says that we are getting to know each other, not like the other times didn't mean anything, but we are getting to know each other better now. Wtf is this shit? If she doesn't know me by know then I don't think she will ever get to know me good enough.
Now the kicker! Like two weeks ago, some close friends of mine, girls that work with us, told me I needed to see something. One of them had gone out with her boyfriend to hang out and ran into her and she was with another guy. They took a picture together and she told me to check her camera and see it for myself in front of my girl. When I try to look at the camera my girl acts up, takes the camera away from me and doesn't want me to look at it and this is just super suspicious. But I manage to get the camera from her. When I see the picture I asked her who is this guy? She told me it was just a friend that studies abroad and was back in town for the holidays so she invited him out. I was like ok. I took it at face value since if that's true that it's just a friend then whatever. She could have told me about it but whatever. She did tell me about this friend a long time ago though. So then my friends tell me the whole story behind this. My girl had told them that she's been talking to him for a while, that they went out during the whole xmas time and she went to his house and met his parents and stuff. That she's very excited about this guy. But that she doesn't know if it's going to work out because this happened in the past and he just flaked out on her. That she doesn't want to get too excited it because she's afraid of jinxing it. When they tell me this I'm super pissed but I can't confront her upfront because then I make my friends look bad since they said they wouldn't tell anyone. So what they do is post the pictures on facebook and make it look like they are double dating and there's something there more than just friends with the album's name. When they post the pictures my girl texts me like 30 minutes after the fact telling me she doesn't want me to get scared or something because of some pics that got posted. Since I already know what's going on I told her I'm not an idiot. She then texted me saying umm ok? and then said that whenever I'm not pissed about some pictures I had already seen to let her know.I deleted her off facebook and haven't talked to her since. My friend then tells me that my girl texted her asking her to remove the pictures because she didn't want to jinx it since she doesn't know if it's gonna happen or work out. She also asked her if I had asked about the pictures. My friend told her that I called her but I she didn't answer me because she was busy and asks why does she ask? Remember, to this day she has never told anyone about us or mention me at all. She calls me friend and tells her about us but in a different way. She tells her that we are going out but she thinks I misunderstood, that she says we were going out but as friends, that she thinks I got jealous or something. My friend has known the whole story behind us and what has happened so she couldn't believe that my girl was telling her these things, trying to make me look like an idiot that misunderstood. She then asks my friend that if I ask about the pictures to tell me that they are just friends, nothing else. That was last week. At work we ignored each other, I didn't look at her or talked to her once.
I seriously don't know what to do. I can't believe that she reeled me in after I had gotten over her. I only gave her another shot because I thought this time it was for real, because of all the shit she told me that night we met up asking for a chance and saying she wanted to be with me, but come on. What she's doing is fucked up. I just don't know what to think, I have no idea why she would do this shit, why ask for another chance to be with me and then fuck around like this? All my friends have told me to just keep doing what I'm doing, ignore her, forget her, she's not worth it. And that's what I'm doing and feel like she really fucked up. It just sucks that I'm the one that looks like an idiot and I don't get to tell her to her face that I know what she's doing and to fuck off, just to feel better you know, to get some closure. At the same time it also sucks because I really liked this girl, and at one point I can say I loved her, just that right now it feels so wrong to even think that because of how she's acting. And it pisses me off so much that sometimes I even consider taking her back if she came back because I don't feel like she deserves it.
I dunno... sorry for the huge post, I just needed to get that out and hopefully get some words of advice or encouragement from you guys.
I met this girl 3 years ago at work. She was new and I talked to her just to be nice. She asked me out to the movies. After that, I asked her out to hang out. After that we started going out regularly. No one at work knew anything. Our job is a seasonal thing, we only work for a few months a year and then no work for some months again (around 6 months of work and 6 of nothing more or less). Well, our work was ending and I wanted to know where this was going so I talked to her and she told me she wasn't ready for a serious relationship right then and there because she had recently broken up with her ex and still had some feelings for him. I told her ok and maybe in the future when she gets over that and fixes all that we could do something. I didn't talk to or see her for the whole time there was no work.
So the new season starts and we see each other there for the first time in 6 months. I was already over her since nothing serious really happened. She calls me up that same day wanting to hang out. I say yes and meet up with her but I made the mistake of not asking her if she had sorted out all her shit about the ex because I assumed she had since she called me up. Well, we start dating again and after a few months I talk to her about us, like where is this going etc. She then tells me she still has issues with her ex and I tell her why the hell is she messing around with me. I tell her that I want something serious with her but if she's like that nothing can happen. I even asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend to which she said no because it wouldn't be fair to me since she has that whole situation with her ex, but if it wasn't for that she would say yes and if I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend she would ask me to be her boyfriend. Then we proceeded into a heavy make out session, dunno why, the mood was right. This part of me asking her to be my girlfriend happened twice and both times she said the same thing, the second time was months after this time.
We kept dating despite knowing all about this and knowing it wasn't a good idea. She met my parents, which I didn't want her to unless it was going to be something serious. We ended up having sex a couple of times. The season ended and we kept dating. But for a few weeks she was flaking hard core, she wouldn't have time for me ever to hang out, would take forever or not reply to texts or answer phone calls. I got fed up with her shit of not making a decision about us so I decided to end it there. Told her I'm done with her shit. Didn't talk to her anymore after that. She texted me a few times during the whole down time from work but I just ignored her.
Then the new season at work started. I was done with her, like I said, I didn't want to deal with her shit anymore because that last time really hurt me since I was very into the whole situation. It was a very hard time for me and I felt like shit for a while. So I was ignoring her, not giving her any attention or talking to her, just minding my own business. Note that during that down time I started hitting the gym and I wasn't my lanky looking self anymore, now I looked huge compared to before. She texted me like soon after starting work one night telling me I looked so different and if she could call me. I said yes because I didn't want to be an asshole. She talked to me for like 45 minutes and the whole time I was just answering with "mhm" or "hmm" or "uh-huh", you know, not caring about anything. At one point she asked me when we were going to hang out. I was like umm... what? She told me we could do whatever it didn't matter, and I just said, ummm I dunno. And then after the awkward silence she kept talking bullshit and I kept with my responses. After a bit she ended the call because she felt she was holding me from going to sleep, which she was. After that, no more texts or calls for a month.
Then comes the work's xmas party where apparently I was an asshole to her somehow and she got pissed at me and insulted me and stormed off. Like an hour later she texted me saying she's sorry, she didn't mean to say that. I told her I didn't give a shit. She then called me saying she's sorry bla bla bla. Then she says that we need to talk, she has some things to tell me. I'm like sure, I have some things to say too because I wanted to tell her all the shit that pissed me off and caused me to not want to deal with her anymore.
The next day we meet up and talk for like 5 hours. I told her all the shit that pissed me off, her not having time to hang out with me, like she sometimes would be great but then she just acted like she didn't give a fuck, how for my bday she waited until the last second to say anything to me and didn't do shit for my bday, and a whole bunch of other shit, too many to list. She either said she's sorry, gave an explanation which I would tear it apart, or gave me the reason on whatever I said. At the end of that long conversation I asked her what was the point of all of this, what did she want out of this because I thought that was going to be just clear things up and move on but to me it felt like she wanted something more. She then asks me for another chance. In my head I was like wtf? really?? After thinking about it I ask her if she's sure this is what she wants. She said yes. I asked her if she's sure she wants to be with me, she said yes. I asked her if there was anyone else in the picture, her ex or anyone else, she said no. Again, I asked if she was sure about this, and she said yes. I told her that honestly I would like to again but I was kinda scared to get involved with her again because of how it went before, but if she was sure then yeah, let's do it.
So after that, we started dating again. She was acting better, had time to hang out etc. We would hang out, hold hands, kiss, make out every time we went out and it really felt like things were going good. She didn't want to come home though because she didn't feel comfortable seeing my parents again after all that went on. After a few weeks though, she started acting up again, not having time to hang out (mind you it isn't like I asked her to hang out every day, at most I asked her to hang out once or twice a week and she couldn't make that happen). I asked her out on a Monday to go out that Friday and she waited until 2 hours before we were supposed to meet to tell me she wouldn't be able to make it and that Saturday she wouldn't be able to make it either. That just pissed me off. I asked her out the next Monday and talked to her about it. I asked her about what happened, why did she bail like that, she gave me a bullshit excuse that she thought she had told me, which she didn't. I asked her why couldn't she invite me, if it was me in that situation I would have invited her, she said she didn't feel comfortable bringing someone to her friend's house. She said if it was a different kind of activity she would have invited me which I find hard to believe. I told her that it felt like her friends were more important than me and she said that she just doesn't like to break promises or that if she already said she was going or doing something she doesn't like to back out of things (that's why I said I would have invited her if it was me in that situation). She also said that she's always been like this, that I should know, that she never sets anything up, she lets the other person do all the planning like asking her out etc. I told her, if you're like that then fine, but if I'm the one always asking you out and you say you can't all the time then it sucks and it feels like you aren't into it. When people are into each other they make time to be with that person and it feels like she's not into me or this whole relationship thing. Then I asked her what are we? And she just stood there, and I said well if I introduce you to some friends how do I introduce you? And she said I can't say she's my girlfriend because she isn't and I said well I'm not introducing you as my friend either. And she said if it was her introducing me she would say I'm the guy she's seeing. She then says that we are getting to know each other, not like the other times didn't mean anything, but we are getting to know each other better now. Wtf is this shit? If she doesn't know me by know then I don't think she will ever get to know me good enough.
Now the kicker! Like two weeks ago, some close friends of mine, girls that work with us, told me I needed to see something. One of them had gone out with her boyfriend to hang out and ran into her and she was with another guy. They took a picture together and she told me to check her camera and see it for myself in front of my girl. When I try to look at the camera my girl acts up, takes the camera away from me and doesn't want me to look at it and this is just super suspicious. But I manage to get the camera from her. When I see the picture I asked her who is this guy? She told me it was just a friend that studies abroad and was back in town for the holidays so she invited him out. I was like ok. I took it at face value since if that's true that it's just a friend then whatever. She could have told me about it but whatever. She did tell me about this friend a long time ago though. So then my friends tell me the whole story behind this. My girl had told them that she's been talking to him for a while, that they went out during the whole xmas time and she went to his house and met his parents and stuff. That she's very excited about this guy. But that she doesn't know if it's going to work out because this happened in the past and he just flaked out on her. That she doesn't want to get too excited it because she's afraid of jinxing it. When they tell me this I'm super pissed but I can't confront her upfront because then I make my friends look bad since they said they wouldn't tell anyone. So what they do is post the pictures on facebook and make it look like they are double dating and there's something there more than just friends with the album's name. When they post the pictures my girl texts me like 30 minutes after the fact telling me she doesn't want me to get scared or something because of some pics that got posted. Since I already know what's going on I told her I'm not an idiot. She then texted me saying umm ok? and then said that whenever I'm not pissed about some pictures I had already seen to let her know.I deleted her off facebook and haven't talked to her since. My friend then tells me that my girl texted her asking her to remove the pictures because she didn't want to jinx it since she doesn't know if it's gonna happen or work out. She also asked her if I had asked about the pictures. My friend told her that I called her but I she didn't answer me because she was busy and asks why does she ask? Remember, to this day she has never told anyone about us or mention me at all. She calls me friend and tells her about us but in a different way. She tells her that we are going out but she thinks I misunderstood, that she says we were going out but as friends, that she thinks I got jealous or something. My friend has known the whole story behind us and what has happened so she couldn't believe that my girl was telling her these things, trying to make me look like an idiot that misunderstood. She then asks my friend that if I ask about the pictures to tell me that they are just friends, nothing else. That was last week. At work we ignored each other, I didn't look at her or talked to her once.
I seriously don't know what to do. I can't believe that she reeled me in after I had gotten over her. I only gave her another shot because I thought this time it was for real, because of all the shit she told me that night we met up asking for a chance and saying she wanted to be with me, but come on. What she's doing is fucked up. I just don't know what to think, I have no idea why she would do this shit, why ask for another chance to be with me and then fuck around like this? All my friends have told me to just keep doing what I'm doing, ignore her, forget her, she's not worth it. And that's what I'm doing and feel like she really fucked up. It just sucks that I'm the one that looks like an idiot and I don't get to tell her to her face that I know what she's doing and to fuck off, just to feel better you know, to get some closure. At the same time it also sucks because I really liked this girl, and at one point I can say I loved her, just that right now it feels so wrong to even think that because of how she's acting. And it pisses me off so much that sometimes I even consider taking her back if she came back because I don't feel like she deserves it.
I dunno... sorry for the huge post, I just needed to get that out and hopefully get some words of advice or encouragement from you guys.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Holy crap! time to read
Hypereides
Member
Shiiiiiiet. Thats one long phallus of a post. Lets get started.
dilemma time, brace yourselves, wall of text incoming.
you guys say you don't want to assist with people trying to move up from the friend zone. that is great! i am trying to get INTO the friend zone though, because I feel that is better than the nothing i feel at this point. my love life is confusing. i feel like a romance author from the 19th century to be honest with you. anyway, here is the tl;dr version of my gripping saga:
beginning of senior year in high school - befriend a girl. i find her cute, but don't really have high expectations or anything.
a month passes and we talk in class. all the fucking time. then *she* adds me on facebook. then *she* begins to start facebook messaging me a lot. then *she* gives me *her* number. she has taken all of the initiative at this point.
we text and talk on facebook all the fucking time. we talk in class all the time. good friends you can say.
valentine's day 2011 comes around. a guy i don't know visits her at work and brings her flowers and shit and asks her on a date. she texts me almost immediately about this, how she said yes, etc etc. at this point i really don't have much more than friendly feelings for her. as the week goes on however, she completely pulls this guys heart out, rips it in half, and then shreds both halves. she simply ignores all of his texts and posts. at the time, i don't care too much.
she starts talking to me about another guy she is interested in. doesn't have any effect on us.
summer comes. i move away to start school in the summer. we text all the time still. she then confides in me that she is scared shitless to start school, scared to meet new people, etc.
school starts. the day the semester starts, we stop talking. for months. i know it is normal for people to grow apart, but this just happened so sudden. at first i didn't mind too much. the first time i saw her on campus, she ran over to me and gave me a big hug. i thought everything would be fine - until i didn't see her until late October. After that? I didn't talk to her until last Thursday when I saw her in the dining hall and decided I was going to go talk to her. And things seemed alright. Sunday afternoon I woke up late and texted her asking her if she wanted to go to lunch or something, but she said she had already eaten. alright. today i saw her at breakfast and we talked for a few minutes, nothing major.
here is my problem. i feel like she was ignoring me all this time. if she was, i'd rather her just come out and admit it rather than play me like a fool. i'm at the point where i think next time she logs on to facebook, i am going to message her to explain why she feels we fell apart in her honest opinion, and then i am going to explain how i am a pure pessimist, and i felt like she was ignoring me, like she had done to other guys in the past(something i never worried about happening to me, because obviously i just have to be different *sigh*). i want answers asap. i don't want to wait another day not knowing what the hell happened. i want to know if she was mad at me and what i did to turn her off. i can't ask to meet her in person tomorrow, seems to tacky being valentine's day. that right there would probably raise alarms in her head, and i don't want it to be a date if we do this. i want to vent to her about how much of a headfuck she has been, and how i just need answers.
so gaf, please advise
you guys say you don't want to assist with people trying to move up from the friend zone. that is great! i am trying to get INTO the friend zone though, because I feel that is better than the nothing i feel at this point. my love life is confusing. i feel like a romance author from the 19th century to be honest with you. anyway, here is the tl;dr version of my gripping saga:
beginning of senior year in high school - befriend a girl. i find her cute, but don't really have high expectations or anything.
a month passes and we talk in class. all the fucking time. then *she* adds me on facebook. then *she* begins to start facebook messaging me a lot. then *she* gives me *her* number. she has taken all of the initiative at this point.
we text and talk on facebook all the fucking time. we talk in class all the time. good friends you can say.
valentine's day 2011 comes around. a guy i don't know visits her at work and brings her flowers and shit and asks her on a date. she texts me almost immediately about this, how she said yes, etc etc. at this point i really don't have much more than friendly feelings for her. as the week goes on however, she completely pulls this guys heart out, rips it in half, and then shreds both halves. she simply ignores all of his texts and posts. at the time, i don't care too much.
she starts talking to me about another guy she is interested in. doesn't have any effect on us.
summer comes. i move away to start school in the summer. we text all the time still. she then confides in me that she is scared shitless to start school, scared to meet new people, etc.
school starts. the day the semester starts, we stop talking. for months. i know it is normal for people to grow apart, but this just happened so sudden. at first i didn't mind too much. the first time i saw her on campus, she ran over to me and gave me a big hug. i thought everything would be fine - until i didn't see her until late October. After that? I didn't talk to her until last Thursday when I saw her in the dining hall and decided I was going to go talk to her. And things seemed alright. Sunday afternoon I woke up late and texted her asking her if she wanted to go to lunch or something, but she said she had already eaten. alright. today i saw her at breakfast and we talked for a few minutes, nothing major.
here is my problem. i feel like she was ignoring me all this time. if she was, i'd rather her just come out and admit it rather than play me like a fool. i'm at the point where i think next time she logs on to facebook, i am going to message her to explain why she feels we fell apart in her honest opinion, and then i am going to explain how i am a pure pessimist, and i felt like she was ignoring me, like she had done to other guys in the past(something i never worried about happening to me, because obviously i just have to be different *sigh*). i want answers asap. i don't want to wait another day not knowing what the hell happened. i want to know if she was mad at me and what i did to turn her off. i can't ask to meet her in person tomorrow, seems to tacky being valentine's day. that right there would probably raise alarms in her head, and i don't want it to be a date if we do this. i want to vent to her about how much of a headfuck she has been, and how i just need answers.
so gaf, please advise
Gonna pour me self another drink before I read this dissertation. Hold on...black up is on the way.
- Status