Technically no, but it can sure as hell be useful.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Technically no, but it can sure as hell be useful.
When trying to get a girl, FB has neither helped nor hurt me. In a relationship, it can fuck a lot of things up. Hate that goddamn site sometimes. Stupid ass shit.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Guess losing me was too much of a burden. GF apologized through and thru, I gave her a hell of a rough time, laid down that that behavior is really unacceptable in a relationship and sent her back home thinking about what she did. If she was ok with that she could contact me this morning. She did
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
How are you able to do this? Have you always had a really strong will or was it something you developed over time? I don't know your full situation so I can't really comment but I feel like I would crack and be all 'open-arms' if someone came to me like that expressing remorse.
But that's letting them off too easily, right ?
there was a good article on how to deal with woman drama posted a couple pages back, forgot the link though.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I have been through enough bullshit that I am really skeptical about apologies. Sure she is crying now, but what about tomorrow? The thing is you can't just go apeshit. You can't let it affect you too much. She is the one that fucked up and it's up to her to make it right. If you either show too much compassion, it sets a bad precedent, as she now knows that you will take her every time she does something wrong. Case contrary if you go BANANAS, she will see you as an overemotional man, and the last thing a woman needs is an over emotional man. So you keep right in the middle, tell her "Yeah right I see, well I don't think it's cool and I accept this apology THIS ONE TIME but I am not happy about it" and that's that, it's up to her to make it up to you
I posted it
http://www.girlschase.com/content/women-and-drama
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
And you're a physicist?
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
This is some really great insight. Thanks Wolf.
I started link-hopping from that girlschase article and reading over absolute abundance, law of least effort and escalation windows. Great advice to keep in mind when thinking about different situations.
I especially like this attitude:
This seems like a great mindset to have, especially during the early stages of dating and relationship building. Gotta value yourself before someone will value you. Don't twist yourself up over one girl when there are so many out there you have yet to meet.
TurboLibre
Member
The problem is you can't really fake an abundance attitude. If you can't see any women that are interested in you, it's pretty damn hard to pretend they are. I mean, in my case I find a woman that's interested in me once a year (if that) and even in those rare cases it has never ended well. I'd have to be disillusion to walk around thinking women were just fawning over me.
You've said before that you're a social guy with friends who really like you. Why not extend that to women?
TurboLibre
Member
I know I have an attractive personality that can attract a lot of friends, but strictly friends. Every time I've tried to start something more with some girl they do a complete 180, and go from "crazy flirty" mode to "Never speaking to you again" mode when I didn't do a damn thing wrong. Now I know I can not make a move and keep them as friends, but the moment I show any amount of interest everything breaks down and I'm left feeling like shit. Seriously, it has happened enough times that I accurately predicted it was going to happen with this last girl, in this very thread. So walking around thinking all these amazing women are just dying to have me approach them seems a little impossible to me.
CF_Fighter
Member
Found out last night the girl has had a pretty promiscuous past, which doesn't bother me because we are all sexual beings. I told her she was the second woman I've ever been with. She said something along the lines of "I have too much experience and you have don't have much" and that she was "Jaded by sex". It really hit me at my dignity as a guy. If she says something like that again I'm going to confront her on it. I know she isn't going around sleeping with guys, and she seems very happy when she is with me. It's just shit like that rubs me the wrong way and makes me think that I've somehow let her down the one time we slept together last weekend.
entremet
Member
People have been getting laid way before FB or social networking sites existed. No, it is not necessary at all.
To be fair, that is like saying people got laid before phones. Sure they weren't necessary back then because they didn't exist, but now if you don't have one you're looked at like some sort of social outcast. However, I don't think FB has the same importance phones to in today's world.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
You're obviously not a teenage girl.
scar tissue
Banned
The first quote tells me you have no idea how bad social anxiety can be. You may think you were really nervous while speed dating, but some of us already sweat bullets if they walk past a group of people or other people sit three seats next to them on a train.
SA is a very primal, mortal fear and frankly, I'd rather swim with sharks, than approach a woman.
Speed dating would be hell and I very likely wouldn't get anything positive from it. I'd end up blubbering unintelligible nonsense or something like that.
I do agree with this part tho:
Can't be emphasized enough. Build up your skills with guys before moving in for the kill. On the way, you'll probably make a few friends, which can't hurt.
Looks are practically never the limiting factor for men when it comes to sex.
I've seen plenty of fat or generally unattractive guys get pussy.
Of course, being attractive will make stuff slightly easier if you're not able to approach women - women will approach you. Not very often, but more often than if you're ugly.
I'm currently trying to muster up the energy to do some proper working out next semester. I really don't have the money for the gym, and I'm fucking terrified of going there anyway, so I guess I'll have to make do with what I've got at home (dumbbells and a chinup bar).
Can anyone point me to an effective workout that doesn't incorporate too many different exercises? I don't care if it's hard, but the moment it gets too intricate, I lose my motivation.
No more than 5 different exercises would be ideal-
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
I agree that you can't fake abundance but if you're a socialable guy like Soultron said, there's no reason you can't apply that to girls. They are just people and like us they like to be around other fun and interesting people. This might just be me but it seems like you're approaching most of these girls from the position of being friends and then trying to create something more down the line.
Also, have you tried online dating at all? Back when I lurked I got a lot of good tips for creating a profile and sending messages and then I sort of just let it go only maintaining it on weekends. I've had an OkCupid profile since August and there have been dry spells but I've gotten really really great response from it in the last month or so. Just something to think about that can't hurt anything to try.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Ugh, why would you want to date a teenager unless you are one? I'm not against it but I try not to bother with people under 19 for very specific reasons (im 21).
Edit: Ack double-post, my bad.
TurboLibre
Member
You would think, but for some reason women just don't respond well to me. Sure they're people, but they operate very differently from men and there's this whole other element of interaction involved that I just can't seem to grasp. If they were just like guys I'm pretty sure we wouldn't need these threads to rationalize their actions or all the PUA stuff to teach people how to act around them. As for the women I mentioned, I can safely say I didn't approach them as a friend. My buddies were keeping tabs the whole time and even saw us together a couple of times, and they said I was doing everything right. They're telling me she was just crazy, but when this exact reaction has happened this many times I have a hard time shifting the blame on them.
BronzeWolf
Banned
If I was watching you I could probably pinpoint 3 things you did wrong. Be humble
hawkshockey11
Banned
Girl from work is kino-ing the fuck out of me (random back pokes, brushing up against me, etc.) Seriously I didn't think I was doing anything to make this girl like me but apparently I am doing something right since this is the second girl that has come on to me after forced contact.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Wait what?
TurboLibre
Member
Read it again. I'm saying there is something wrong with me, even though my friends are telling me I'm doing everything right. Doesn't matter though. If someone is going to hate me over some "mistake" I have no clue I made, they're not worth my time.
BronzeWolf
Banned
You dummy. Girls don't get angry at your mistakes, they just get not attracted
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
If a girl picked her nose while talking to you, you'd be not attracted to her
BUT ITS NOT LIKE SHE WANTS SOME SHALLOW SUPERFICIAL GUY THAT JUDGES BY SOME TINY MISTAKES ANYWAY
TurboLibre
Member
I honestly wouldn't care. At most I would think it was a little weird she wasn't subtle about that's not going to change my opinion of them at all.
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
I wish there was a subtle way to pick your nose
There's never a good chance to when your cashiering a busy register
BronzeWolf
Banned
Yeah right... you know you are giving BS. We all love beautiful girls. Next you will tell me that you don't care the girl being fat, ugly, doesn't wear make up (I LIKE NATURAL LOOKING GIRLS is such bullshit, that look is make up produced too), wears ugly clothes and the list goes on and on
Slow and steady is my progress. But at least I'm seeing it ^^ Saturday was awesome. Getting more comfortable with dancing than talking to new people which is the very opposite of where I've come from. So that's different, but we're gonna change it up more in the coming weeks. Wednesday will be 18+ instead of the regular 20/21+ or so so that's gonna be different. And we're gonna do suit-up just for kicks 
Should help with anxiety and potential introvertness.
Should help with anxiety and potential introvertness.TurboLibre
Member
If I thought she was beautiful or interesting, it's going to take a lot more than a little nose picking to change my mind. I don't typically make snap judgements about people though and don't get caught up on little things like that. Probably why I find this so frustrating.
BronzeWolf
Banned
It's not so much about being superficial as putting your best "YOU" forward. Imagine the tkawsome that no girl can peg a flaw on and you want to be that dude. Your chances increase a lot
BronzeWolf
Banned
You make me proud or I'll eat you
TurboLibre
Member
I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. Nobody picked their nose and I'm unaware of any mistakes I may have made. All I know is every time I ask someone out they immediately turn cold on me treat me like shit. In the end I'm left feeling like all women are crazy.
BronzeWolf
Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
we need a pic of your mug
I'm 90% sure there's going to be sexytimes involved. I only have two condoms tho
Duh
Buy more.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Plan B
TurboLibre
Member
Sorry to disappoint but I'm not very comfortable posting it on this site. Maybe later down the line if I get a picture I'm proud of, but I'm not really feeling it right now. A lot of people have said I'm handsome/attractive though, enough that I'm inclined to believe them. So while I may beat myself up about it sometimes, I doubt I'm scaring girls away by being ugly. As for the rest of me I keep myself very clean, dress myself pretty well, and I'm in damn good shape. Always room for improvement, but I would say I'm doing pretty well.
Maybe. That has been a reoccurring theme in my life.
Or just fucking buy more condoms. Plan B costs a shitton of money. On top of that I wouldn't go in raw with a girl you haven't know very long.
yah idk when walgreens opens on sunday but it's literally like a 8 minute walk from my house
8am cool.
Hypereides
Member
Well if you have Facebook you'll face some dilemmas though. Its a tricky tool.
It can work against you, if you add her too quickly before youve even been intimate/physical contact (one way or the other) with her, and possibly put you directly in the friendzone before you know it (which is one fucking hard thing to get out of). AND it may also ruin it for you if youre consistently online on Facebook posting new status updates frequently, plus it might intimidate her if you often spend time talking/commenting on other girls posts, or your friend list largely consists of female friends.
That, and its a ultimate unproductive time waster.
I just decided to block it today, because it consumes alot of my spare time. Need to invest it into more important things.
Walmart, and drive there.
Yup lemme just get in my non-existant car and drive 2 hours to the nearest wal-mart, nah
hawkshockey11
Banned
WooHoo officially friendzoned by work girl. Not that I care too much since she is kind of a bitch and the whole dating someone you work a minimum wage job awkwardness thing. Still, it isn't good to have doors bolted before you even got a chance to open them.
Well, didn't realize that then. Also, 2 hours to a Walmart?! What bizarro world do you live in?
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