Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out

I feel like you're right, here. Minus the bolded, but I know you're ball busting so s'cool. Power is always equal in my humble, both parties have it, though if you're a shy dude that's learning you just give that shit up, thinking it'll land you what you want.

It will not.

Play the game, because most of the time that's what's taking place on the other side. It's not evil, it's not immoral, it's not wrong. It's also damn near impossible to get back after you've lost it too, and if I had to guess, I'd say you'll regret it later.

Now, if you REALLY love her, don't be shy about it, but if it's not returned, do like I did with an ex back in the day and GTFO when they start acting even the slightest bit different.
 
I feel like you're right, here. Minus the bolded, but I know you're ball busting so s'cool. Power is always equal in my humble, both parties have it, though if you're a shy dude that's learning you just give that shit up, thinking it'll land you what you want.

It will not.

Play the game, because most of the time that's what's taking place on the other side. It's not evil, it's not immoral, it's not wrong. It's also damn near impossible to get back after you've lost it too, and if I had to guess, I'd say you'll regret it later.

Now, if you REALLY love her, don't be shy about it, but if it's not returned, do like I did with an ex back in the day and GTFO when they start acting even the slightest bit different.

Exactly. You can do love fully, as long as you are ready to leave
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

LOL.

Position of power? Really? If your relationship is based on that, then you already have issues.
 
LOL.

Position of power? Really? If your relationship is based on that, then you already have issues.

It's about equal power, not scale. If she can sway your emotions, then so can you. If you like, I can say if HE can sway your emotions, so can you. 50/50 is what relationships, new or old, are all about. Bronze is just brazen, that's all.
 
Or better yet, she fakes interest till she finds a new guy. In the end she will get tired of being the one swinging her "dick" around and finds someone masculine enough, who can swing his own.
 
LOL fuck you

embarrassing.

It's about equal power, not scale. If she can sway your emotions, then so can you. If you like, I can say if HE can sway your emotions, so can you. 50/50 is what relationships, new or old, are all about. Bronze is just brazen, that's all.

I agree that it is 50/50 but he is saying that he doesn't call them 'my life' or about risking the change in power. Who the hell thinks about that while in a relationship? That is too much unnecessary stress and you need to look for something better.


You know a girl will stop being interested in you as soon as she holds more power in the relationship than you? You do realize this is true whether you like it or not?

What are you talking about? Healthy relationships aren't based on "power" or who has control. Now if you are in the pursuing phase, I can understand where you are coming from but still. Why even be involved with someone where you have to worry about such things? There is difference in being a man vs playing some sort of meta game in which you won't say something because you would believe that she would have some sort of edge over you.

That is absurd.
 
I don't have a hard time getting the attention of girls through messaging on okcupid, etc., I just have a hard time closing the deal and getting the gumption to meet them in person.
 
I think what BW is saying is that even when in a relationship, you don't want the girl to control what/how things go down, at least not on a regular basis. You don't want the girl to know that she is "everything" to you, and that you'll do anything to keep her.

Basically, don't turn into the Nice Guy once you are in a relationship with her.
 
I agree that it is 50/50 but he is saying that he doesn't call them 'my life' or about risking the change in power. Who the hell thinks about that while in a relationship? That is too much unnecessary stress and you need to look for something better.

I ought not speak for what he means for reals, but I'm sayin'...you put yourself out there, dote, use really powerful language like that without requite, and you're tipping the scales of power. Ever seen a whipped man? That's the guy that does that sort of thing early in a relationship. She comes to expect this behavior because it's what she's used to, and she would be RIGHT to be upset, because she perceives it to be a change from the norm.

You better set expectations early on in a relationship, and no one is literally saying that you be a douchebag. All that I'm seeing here is that you don't want to give it away early on. Do that and you run the risk of being broken.
 
Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.
 
Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

agreed, but I think us guys say stuff similar (I know I'm guilty) that them girls react to the same way.
 
Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

At least they're saving you some time.
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out

Yeah never tell a girl how you really feel (until she does lol) then watch her slip through your fingers because you're too fucking scared to admit it.


Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

They're just plain idiots writing self-fulfilling prophecies.
 
I have a general question.

So back then i was in a club with my friend with other mutual friends as well.

So i see one of the mutual friends (not very good looking, looks doofy) talking with a hot girl, and i ask my friend, dammm since when did he get such game?

He said its very easy to talk to girls, most girls are willing to talk to you. But he also says that the mutual friend usually doesnt get anywhere other than the talking in the club (ie no #, no date)

So my question is. In a club if the girl is not interested in you or anything further than that, why do they take the time to talk to you, and actually seem or be interested?
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out

I love you man, though my ex would call you a misogynist asshole.
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out

I agree with this 100%. Except for the cumdumpster part. It's all a game. If you shift the power over to her side and you wind up being in a serious relationship with her then you've fucked yourself big time.
 
So my question is. In a club if the girl is not interested in you or anything further than that, why do they take the time to talk to you, and actually seem or be interested?

Because they are nice? Because they like attention? Pick either one because they are true. Just because a girl talks to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you. And your perception of her "seeming to interested" probably isn't accurate.



I love you man, though my ex would call you a misogynist asshole.

My wife calls me that, on occasion. It's fine. :)
 
A) Slap friend upside the head, and fire them if they're a wingman. This is not middle school (I hope), and that's some weak behavior.

B) She's shy. Just be your charming self and maybe she'll come around. Don't get invested, though.

A) Lol, definitely not middle school but close... College. I bitched at him but he danced around why he did it. I think he might want to make a move on her. Oh well, I will first.

B) What do you mean by don't get invested?


Shy girls? try asshole girls. Why haven't you asked her out yet? Out of the blue, just do it.

There he is! The thing is, she didn't come off as an asshole when I talked to her before. Even with group work she was never an ass to anyone. And you're right, I don't know why I haven't asked her yet. I will tomorrow and post the results.
 
Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

You would think that such a thing would work against them, but some guys see that as a challenge.
 
playing the game is essential and definitely works when initially trying to pull women, bronzewolf has i down right, probs why he gets so much pussy.

but then when you actually make her your girlfriend, and after some time has passed you drop that game playing shit. i mean actually thinking about not calling your girlfriend certain names because it will emasculate you? lmao that is so dumb.

6-12 months into a relationship you should be telling your gf she is everything to you. girlfriends LIKE that shit, makes them feel wanted. just say whatever is on your mind man, no need for bullshit games.

and that DOESN'T mean you have to be a doormat either. don't have to be pussywhipped to love your girlfriend homes.
 
playing the game is essential and definitely works when initially trying to pull women, bronzewolf has i down right, probs why he gets so much pussy.

but then when you actually make her your girlfriend, and after some time has passed you drop that game playing shit. i mean actually thinking about not calling your girlfriend certain names because it will emasculate you? lmao that is so dumb.

6-12 months into a relationship you should be telling your gf she is everything to you. girlfriends LIKE that shit, makes them feel wanted. just say whatever is on your mind man, no need for bullshit games.

and that DOESN'T mean you have to be a doormat either. don't have to be pussywhipped to love your girlfriend homes.

None of this is necessarily true. A lot of women love men that are absent, cold, and distant. Especially if they had fathers like that.
 
playing the game is essential and definitely works when initially trying to pull women, bronzewolf has i down right, probs why he gets so much pussy.

but then when you actually make her your girlfriend, and after some time has passed you drop that game playing shit. i mean actually thinking about not calling your girlfriend certain names because it will emasculate you? lmao that is so dumb.

6-12 months into a relationship you should be telling your gf she is everything to you. girlfriends LIKE that shit, makes them feel wanted. just say whatever is on your mind man, no need for bullshit games.

and that DOESN'T mean you have to be a doormat either. don't have to be pussywhipped to love your girlfriend homes.

well said.

None of this is necessarily true. A lot of women love men that are absent, cold, and distant. Especially if they had fathers like that.

A lot of women also hate men that are absent, cold, and distant.
 
Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

It's a weird situation. Some bring the asshole out of the guy, some just had a hard time recently and are venting. If all they've experienced are assholes I can't really fault them for being jaded though. Honestly I'm the same way, burned too many times and now I have a hard time believing an alternative is even possible. It's like touching a hot stove, you quickly learn that shit sucks and eventually stop doing it. I'm not about to tell off a girl that's interested in me though, so I guess that's a big difference. My guess would be to approach them as a genuinely good person and show them not all men are the same. If she turns you down because of it and goes for another asshole instead, then she has nobody to blame but herself.
 
Just want to get a quick opinion here on this. You guys probably remember the story about me getting cockblocked last week. Well I was observing the girl and guy after my Calculus class the past few days and have noticed that he is definitely flirting with her hardcore, but she doesn't seem to be actively seeking it out herself. This could be because A. She's just shy (she did kind of get red in the face when that whole thing happened last week), or B. She thinks he's a douchebag.

Either way, should I try to go for it when the guy isn't around or not? I'm kind of leaning toward no, but I want to get an opinion on this.
 
so if im asking a girl out should i first make her feel like shit before asking?

exactly! just make her feel completely worthless, in general. (as opposed to having her think YOU think shes completely worthless.)

then when she's at her weakest, dive in for the kill and get a date. she'll be so desperate, she'll have to accept!
 
A) Lol, definitely not middle school but close... College. I bitched at him but he danced around why he did it. I think he might want to make a move on her. Oh well, I will first.

Good on calling him out. Next time you see him call him a little bitch...no male above 18 should be doing that if they call themselves a friend, and he was trying to CB. Beat him to the punch, and don't sweat the details no matter how it turns out.

Edit: @ Chinner: Tell her she'll be prettier on your arm. It's legit. Promise.

@ Hylian7: If she's not into it, she'd be awkward about it. Look for body language indicating that. If she's responsive to him, then she's digging it. Still take a shot, but don't get hung up on her. Be careful of blinders.
 
exactly! just make her feel completely worthless, in general. (as opposed to having her think YOU think shes completely worthless.)

then when she's at her weakest, dive in for the kill and get a date. she'll be so desperate, she'll have to accept!

interesting. i've been talking to this girl and i've been calling her mong, crettin, crackwhore and scrub. so in theory she is p much in love with me at the moment. cheers guys.
 
Even when I have a girlfriend, I don't call them names that emasculate me. I don't call them "my life" or "my heart" or anything like that. I don't like to risk changing the position of power. Man should always have the power of leaving and by telling them that they are something really irreplaceable, you are setting yourself down for a lot of trouble later down the road.

So hold on those horses, don't call her love until she does, don't tell her you love her until she does, don't call her your queen until she calls you her king. And never call a girl that is not your girlfriend anything other than "cutey" "shorty" or "cumdumpster" until she puts out

If you're okay with dating girls where you have to play games like that, that's cool, I guess, there's a lot of game-players out there. I personally am not okay with that.

Also, saying how you feel doesn't mean that you lose the "power of leaving". I've been the one to dump every girl I've dated.
 
playing the game is essential and definitely works when initially trying to pull women, bronzewolf has i down right, probs why he gets so much pussy.

but then when you actually make her your girlfriend, and after some time has passed you drop that game playing shit. i mean actually thinking about not calling your girlfriend certain names because it will emasculate you? lmao that is so dumb.

6-12 months into a relationship you should be telling your gf she is everything to you. girlfriends LIKE that shit, makes them feel wanted. just say whatever is on your mind man, no need for bullshit games.

and that DOESN'T mean you have to be a doormat either. don't have to be pussywhipped to love your girlfriend homes.

With you 100%. This is early stage stuff I'm talking about. And to back what you were saying, I proposed to my girl 4 years after we got together. Don't think it would have lasted that long if I hadn't told her I loved her. Being open about your feelings is a sign of confidence too.
 
If you're okay with dating girls where you have to play games like that, that's cool, I guess, there's a lot of game-players out there. I personally am not okay with that.

Also, saying how you feel doesn't mean that you lose the "power of leaving". I've been the one to dump every girl I've dated.

Uh oh.
 
If you're okay with dating girls where you have to play games like that, that's cool, I guess, there's a lot of game-players out there. I personally am not okay with that.

Also, saying how you feel doesn't mean that you lose the "power of leaving". I've been the one to dump every girl I've dated.

Why does everybody get so fucking defensive when you cross the 3 month dating barrier? It's the "No true Scotsman" fallacy all over fucking again! ("yeah it MIGHT work on whore girls but not on MY GIRLS") THINK for a little bit!

You don't own girls once they are in a relationship with you. They are free to resent you the moment she doubts you are her best option. And her best option will always be someone that is confident and can leave them if they do bullshit. Just because you are dating someone and you are at the 6-12 month mark, doesn't mean her doubt of you being the absolute best option for her stops lingering in her mind.

You fail to recognize that at your own fucking risk of becoming a pussy whipped sex starved husband.

I am not saying you don't tell her you love her? Are you fucking kidding me? When did I ever said that. Stop attacking strawmen.

I don't like calling them "my life" or "my heart". I just don't. Deal with it

It's all a game. If you shift the power over to her side and you wind up being in a serious relationship with her then you've fucked yourself big time.

so if im asking a girl out should i first make her feel like shit before asking?

only if she has an extremely high ego. If you neg a normal girl, you are going to traumatize her for fucking life.

Just want to get a quick opinion here on this. You guys probably remember the story about me getting cockblocked last week. Well I was observing the girl and guy after my Calculus class the past few days and have noticed that he is definitely flirting with her hardcore, but she doesn't seem to be actively seeking it out herself. This could be because A. She's just shy (she did kind of get red in the face when that whole thing happened last week), or B. She thinks he's a douchebag.

Either way, should I try to go for it when the guy isn't around or not? I'm kind of leaning toward no, but I want to get an opinion on this.

Go for it, just make it private

Does anyone else find it extremely off-putting when you see a woman write something akin to
"Due to my past relationship issues, I now think men are all assholes, prove me wrong" on their dating profiles?

It's like, geez, way to strike out before even stepping up to the plate there lady.

A cry baby. Tell her to Grow up
 
Why does everybody get so fucking defensive when you cross the 3 month dating barrier? It's the "No true Scotsman" fallacy all over fucking again! THINK for a little bit!

You don't own girls once they are in a relationship with you. They are free to resent you the moment she doubts you are her best option. And her best option will always be someone that is confident and can leave them if they do bullshit. Just because you are dating someone and you are at the 6-12 month mark, doesn't mean her doubt of you being the absolute best option for her stops lingering in her mind.

You fail to recognize that at your own fucking risk of becoming a pussy whipped sex starved husband.

I am not saying you don't tell her you love her? Are you fucking kidding me? When did I ever said that. Stop attacking strawmen

As an actual woman who's been in a couple relationships I can tell you you're full of shit.
 
As an actual man who has been in a couple relationships I can tell you your appeal to authority is useless. Either you discuss the point at hand or don't bother

If you're setting up stupid fucking power dynamics before you even have a relationship it's no wonder they fail. You're either into someone enough to be with them or you're not. If you're hung up on keeping silent about your feelings lest she "gain power over you", you're fucking doing it wrong. Why even bother getting into any relationships if you can't deal with the fact that you are putting yourself out there? If you're not giving 100% and communicating in your relationship about your wants and needs, you're not going to going to get all you can out of that relationship. A man who can't open up without prompting is common, but it's also a pain in the ass, especially when he continues this behavior well into the relationship.
 
Well shit.... drama has finally hit this thread.

This is gonna get fierce, brutal and a whole load of negative. Im out.

EDIT: I'll check-in, in the morning when the kids have stopped argueing. Good night.
 
I'm trying to figure out if I should bother trying for this friend of mine that is newly single. I've already known her for years and we're really good friends because when we met she had been with her bf at the time for 3 years? Something like that. She's had some other short-lived relationships since then but they weren't serious at all and were probably just trying to cope with that long relationship coming to an end.

Anyway, I suspect we're just far too comfortable with each other for there to be any proper attraction and she's been quite the drama magnet this last year. Example of comfortable: She has grabbed my ass or sat on my lap at every party we've been at together for the last year or more except for one when she was pissed at me.

EDIT: lol, maybe I posted this at a bad time for this thread
 
bronzewolf, how come (it seems like in your opinion) one can't dote on their partner, and be all mushy-gushy lovey-dovey, while also being supremely confident in themselves? is it not just a matter of how you carry yourself? is it not possible to put your girlfriend of 6-12 months under the impression that you're unerringly devoted to her, but still able to pick up and have other options if she pulls any shit?
 
If you're setting up stupid fucking power dynamics before you even have a relationship it's no wonder they fail.
You are assuming they failed. Why do you assume my relationships failed?

You're either into someone enough to be with them or you're not.
Spoken like a true girl. Men do ourselves a favor when we rationalize why we are with a girl. It's in the open:
- She is hot
- She is responsible
- She is not crazy
- She is smart.
yadda yadda.
Girls don't do that. It's all internal, it's all in "chemistry". Yeah, but we are men here, not women.

If you're hung up on keeping silent about your feelings lest she "gain power over you", you're fucking doing it wrong.
So if I feel like killing you, should I tell you that? Dudes feel like telling girls they love them just 3 seconds after seeing them. It's not about hiding, but pacing. You don't want to be ahead of the relationship, or behind, you want both to go at the same pace. Many times it's the man who is waaaay ahead of her. That is just a relationship ender

Why even bother getting into any relationships if you can't deal with the fact that you are putting yourself out there?
Because relationships are freacking nice? Because putting yourself out there does not mean putting yourself under.

If you're not giving 100% and communicating in your relationship about your wants and needs, you're not going to going to get all you can out of that relationship. A man who can't open up without prompting is common, but it's also a pain in the ass, especially when he continues this behavior well into the relationship.
How do you know if he hasn't opened up? Can you read minds?

bronzewolf, how come (it seems like in your opinion) one can't dote on their partner, and be all mushy-gushy lovey-dovey, while also being supremely confident in themselves? is it not just a matter of how you carry yourself? is it not possible to put your girlfriend of 6-12 months under the impression that you're unerringly devoted to her, but still able to pick up and have other options if she pulls any shit?

Totally possible. I just don't want guys melting into insurmountable piles of loving goodness once they get the girl. I want them to keep her on the edge, to keep challenging her and making it fun and interesting for both of them. If you can do that, you are on your path to a happy relationship that might last years and years and years. And if it doesn't, tough luck, next one.
 
bronzewolf, how come (it seems like in your opinion) one can't dote on their partner, and be all mushy-gushy lovey-dovey, while also being supremely confident in themselves? is it not just a matter of how you carry yourself? is it not possible to put your girlfriend of 6-12 months under the impression that you're unerringly devoted to her, but still able to pick up and have other options if she pulls any shit?

I think he means that you can be supportive and show affection/love. At the same time, I don't think it suits anyone to completely gush over the person they're with. No one is irreplaceable.
 
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