CornBurrito
Member
So you tried ECT?
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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So you tried ECT?
It happens and it has no bearing on you. You don't even know why they chose whichever person instead. Employers say qualifications a lot of the time, but usually it's inside connections, politics, or even looks - all bad reasons to hire but necessities nonetheless.
It's an unfair game so if you're getting unfair results, that's well within normal. You'll find your place eventually.
And why is that? Be specific.
Because you don't want anything to work. Jubei, you try things with the outcome already in your mind they'll never succeed. That alone is more than enough to ensure your misery because the mind is its own state of being. If you think nothing will work, you'll make up every reason in the book for it not to... Then it doesn't.
Look at your statement again.
"Seem nothing works for me"
Nothing, huh?
Nothing.
I don't know, Jubei. I think you're surrounded by people who know better than that in this thread.
No idea, but some mental disorders have been theorised to have had advantages.
OCD for example (what I suffer with):
Mercury Fred
Banned
Hey, just wanted to say thanks to whoever recommended L-Tyrosene.
I've been taking it for the last week and a half or so and it seems to have been helping. I feel a little boost in mood but nothing that feels radically high or "drugged," and importantly I still feel like myself. Also nice is that after being on this stuff for a week, I've been seeing some of my personal depression dynamic in that I sort of take/ have taken a weird comfort in a defeated, bleak but familiar attitude.
Like I said, I don't feel like my life is radically changed, yet I do feel much better and much less depressed. I would recommend this to anyone here-- it's also cheap and over the counter (I grabbed mine at a GNC I think).
I've been taking it for the last week and a half or so and it seems to have been helping. I feel a little boost in mood but nothing that feels radically high or "drugged," and importantly I still feel like myself. Also nice is that after being on this stuff for a week, I've been seeing some of my personal depression dynamic in that I sort of take/ have taken a weird comfort in a defeated, bleak but familiar attitude.
Like I said, I don't feel like my life is radically changed, yet I do feel much better and much less depressed. I would recommend this to anyone here-- it's also cheap and over the counter (I grabbed mine at a GNC I think).
Amory
Member
Been having an awful week, gaf. My anxiety is maybe higher than it's ever been and it usually subsides after a day or so but it's really stuck with me this time. I decided this year I wanted to move up to Boston from my home town in CT, so I found a good job at a biotech company working the night shift 7p-7a, and got an apartment that I'm pretty happy with.
I've never done particularly well with big transitions in life, and this transition was just so much, so fast. I don't have many friends that actually live up here, and I work every other weekend so it's not like I can see friends from home all that often either. I know I have to cultivate the relationships I do have with people living in this city, and go outside my comfort zone to make some new friends too. But this anxiety is crippling, I have trouble being around even my best friends when I'm feeling like this, let alone new people.
And then there's working nights...I didn't expect to love it, but it's so god damn isolating, working all night and then going to bed when the sun finally comes up. I don't sleep well during the day and then I'm tired at work, and by tired I mean literally feel like I'm going to fall asleep in my chair sometimes. It's bad.
Then on top of all that, my girlfriend and I broke up last week. She actually does live in the Boston area and was the one person I could hang out with pretty much any time...so now that lifeline is cut too. I think I could get her back but I'm not entirely sure it's because I really want a romantic relationship with her, or just because I need some companionship. I don't want to go back to it for the wrong reasons.
Anyway, I'm going to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow to try to figure out a path forward. Sorry for the livejournal post. Just needed to write all this out.
I've never done particularly well with big transitions in life, and this transition was just so much, so fast. I don't have many friends that actually live up here, and I work every other weekend so it's not like I can see friends from home all that often either. I know I have to cultivate the relationships I do have with people living in this city, and go outside my comfort zone to make some new friends too. But this anxiety is crippling, I have trouble being around even my best friends when I'm feeling like this, let alone new people.
And then there's working nights...I didn't expect to love it, but it's so god damn isolating, working all night and then going to bed when the sun finally comes up. I don't sleep well during the day and then I'm tired at work, and by tired I mean literally feel like I'm going to fall asleep in my chair sometimes. It's bad.
Then on top of all that, my girlfriend and I broke up last week. She actually does live in the Boston area and was the one person I could hang out with pretty much any time...so now that lifeline is cut too. I think I could get her back but I'm not entirely sure it's because I really want a romantic relationship with her, or just because I need some companionship. I don't want to go back to it for the wrong reasons.
Anyway, I'm going to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow to try to figure out a path forward. Sorry for the livejournal post. Just needed to write all this out.
wow you seem to be doing better than me. i am in Boston with a shitty job and living with family whom i cannot stand with no significant other. I work for a call center which is killing me each and everyday. Probably best if i just kill myself i dont have to look forward for another crap day of this shitty life.
like that will change my shit job shit living condition and life.
I worked the nightshift for a few years, it's horrible and bad for you. I'm not gonna say just quit, we all gotta eat, but I'd seriously recommend putting maximum effort into getting a dayshift job as soon as possible. Working nightshift makes you weaker physically and mentally and makes it harder to battle depression, anxiety etc.
The same thing applies to anyone that denounces healthy eating/exercise etc. They won't cure depression but they will make it easier to beat it. They will make you stronger and better able to face your challenges, and if nothing else, making changes to your diet, or taking up yoga, or going for a regular jog will begin a process of change, it will teach your subconcious that change is possible, and starting with small changes will hopefully one day culminate in the big change of no longer having depression.
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
It will change you though and that's how those things can be changed. Taking pills, going to therapy or getting ECT won't change those things by themselves. They aren't magic. You have to want to change those things but reading your posts in this thread, you seem more interested in staying the way you are. If you don't change you can't fail at it, right? You're not the only one going through this shit and people in here are actually trying to help you, the least you could do is meet them halfway instead of shooting down everything they suggest before giving it a chance.
fredrancour
Member
Baseless conjecture:
Being mindful of bad things can be helpful. Drives you to be more aware of potential dangers. Dissatisfaction can also lead to motivation to improve things. In the wrong circumstances or in extreme cases, those emotions can backfire.
I can't do ECT because i need someone to take me home and i do not have such a person in my life. i would rather just die in my sleep or have a lomboty so i don't have to be myself anymore.
Amory said:
I don't have a car up here but I do live in Boston. I'd be happy to help you or Amory out in any way I can.
If you're looking for some intensive treatment, do what I did at my lowest point: go to Mass General Hospital and request admittance to McLean Hospital up in Belmont. It was a great place that really helped me get everything back on track.
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
So I posted before Christmas about how my life was basically falling apart, and the downward spiral has continued. I had a proper break-down on the 6th and immediately booked myself a doctor's appointment for the following week (last Tuesday). To cut a long story short, I'm back on Citalopram and have spent the last 5 days going through the same side-effects I experienced the first week last time (of which by far and away the most entertaining is a complete suppression of hunger).
Today I woke up and the sun was shining. I know it's just the placebo effect, but now I'm on the meds I believe that in a few months I will actually get better.
Thanks for being a place to vent, and for those putting off going to the doctor, please do.
Now all I need to do is decide whether I tell work or not.
Today I woke up and the sun was shining. I know it's just the placebo effect, but now I'm on the meds I believe that in a few months I will actually get better.
Thanks for being a place to vent, and for those putting off going to the doctor, please do.
Now all I need to do is decide whether I tell work or not.
njean777
Member
Hey guys last week I had a huge breakdown and for the first time suffered from major depression. I checked in to a mental hospital and they decided to put me on zoloft. Quick question I had for anybody on it, does it make you tremor/anxiety attack/Naseau/ and suffer from insomnia? I have been taking it for 5 days now and it works, but at night it is like going through hell and back. I cant sleep, I sweat, and woke up last night with an anxiety attack/tremors. Is this normal?
I should also include that I have recently stopped taking benadryl at night, I use to take 2 every night for 2 years or so, but after suffering last weeks breakdown decided to quit in the hospital.
I just want to know if this coud be Zolofts fault or benadryls? (lol at laying blame on an inanimate object).
I should also include that I have recently stopped taking benadryl at night, I use to take 2 every night for 2 years or so, but after suffering last weeks breakdown decided to quit in the hospital.
I just want to know if this coud be Zolofts fault or benadryls? (lol at laying blame on an inanimate object).
AzureNightmare
Banned
So my life is further going down a shit filled pit. My computer needs a new $250 video card, which I can't afford, and my uncle is in the hospital with Acute Pancreatic Necrosis. I'm beginning to lose all hope...
AzureNightmare
Banned
Yeah, it is actually for work since I run Gamer Theory Media with Jeff-DSA. I have gone to visit my uncle at the hospital, i actually visit with him every week on Wednesday or Thursday quite regularly, whether he's sick or not. Its just the fact that all of these problems keep piling ontop of each other is what's overwhelming me. I could handle one problem at a time, but not 10 or 15 problems at a time. my ADHD and BiPolar Disorder Type 2 just don't allow me to deal with too many things all at once.
One thing at a time man. It's the only way I'd go about it. If it helps, put together a to-do list and prioritise fixes. Stuff that you can sort out quickly and relatively painlessly do as soon as possible, and cross each one off as completed.
Soon it won't seem so overwhelming, just need to be proactive and organised and don't be too proud to accept favours. That's what I do when things get too much. Sorry for the rather simplistic advice, obviously some things are out of your control.
Soon it won't seem so overwhelming, just need to be proactive and organised and don't be too proud to accept favours. That's what I do when things get too much. Sorry for the rather simplistic advice, obviously some things are out of your control.
AzureNightmare
Banned
I have a tendency in all of my plotting, planning, and strategizing to forget that sometimes the simplest things just work better than even the most fool proof, intricately woven plan.
I have been on Gabapentin for a few months, holy shit it has removed my intense suicidal depression so hard; however it's replaced it with a weird euphoric haze... it's like being really high 24/7
wait I actually took a video of me feeling really fucking manic from this drug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xanOgwCOxLg&feature=channel
wait I actually took a video of me feeling really fucking manic from this drug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xanOgwCOxLg&feature=channel
You're cute but damn you crazy, son.
kehehe
Bel Marduk
Banned
You suffered a mental breakdown and all they did was prescribe zoloft?? If things are that bad for you then they should have given you something much stronger.
zoloft sometimes takes weeks to work but in my case it made anxiety much worse but did eventually make it better. keep taking it.. if there's no effect/negative effects after a month then you'll need to see a doctor again.
It's hitting me like hell today. The knowledge of my job coming to an end soon (being unemployed once again), plus my continued non-existent social life, plus worry over the results of switching my medications, plus worried about what might be fucked up with my right leg/knee.
Yeah, not a good day today.
Fyi, I switched from Pristiq to Effexor, because Pristiq is ridiculously expensive.
Yeah, not a good day today.
Fyi, I switched from Pristiq to Effexor, because Pristiq is ridiculously expensive.
i have no idea what was going through my head during this time >_>
i made like 5 videos of me just running around the house naked and doing sweet parkour over the couch at like 5am
its better than wanting to kill myself i guess
also i looked HORRIBLE there... i didnt bathe for like a good 24 hours and just let my hair do anything before that <_<
Pfft.. I've gone 7 days without a shower. You have very high standards for being crazy.
Photosynthesis
Member
I went in and talked to them about why they didn't choose me, and they said that I was being too aggressive. And I don't think that's completely fair, especially because it was in a situation where I was trying to give direction to a discussion.
I think, at this point, I'm slowly ruining my own life. Whether on purpose, or subconsciously, I am so good at making myself miserable.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
From scratch? What's the process?
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NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
Not that i'm advocating going prolonged lengths of time without washing, but 24 hours is nothing.
So I've finally started doing something about my depression. I started seeing a councillor, he's all about changing your mindset by breaking down beliefs and goals as a construct of society. I was pretty sceptical but he does make a lot of sense. And at least it's a bit more enjoyable than lying in bed every day. I also got a prescription for Cipramil(Citalopram) from the Doctor and will probably start taking that tomorrow morning.
Pollux
Member
I don't know how people do this? Not insulting you, but whenever I'm feeling depressed or just completely hopeless, a hot shower goes a long way towards making me feel a little bit better. Needless to say I'm showering twice a day....
It's really easy. You just don't do it. You don't care how you feel - that doesn't matter. You don't care how many other people will look at you - you aren't going out today anyway. Etc.
Come on guys, I thought we were talking about depression.
Pollux
Member
No I understand that. Believe me I get it. In the context of talking about depression I'm just saying that hot showers make me feel better.
Am I not allowed to say what helps me feel better, and then suggest it for others? Isn't the idea to help each other?
manipulate
Member
I just wanted to chime in with the whole effexor withdrawal crowd. Shit was the WORST (I took it for about 6 months 6-7 years ago). I wasn't able to do anything for about 2 weeks.
I've been taking paroxetine for about 5 years now for anxiety. I still frequently feel quite glum and bitter but I guess I just have to accept that I'm a less happy person than most people.
Not that most people would guess, though - I'm very outgoing and likeable but I struggle to get out of bed every day and face the world =/
I've been taking paroxetine for about 5 years now for anxiety. I still frequently feel quite glum and bitter but I guess I just have to accept that I'm a less happy person than most people.
Not that most people would guess, though - I'm very outgoing and likeable but I struggle to get out of bed every day and face the world =/
blackwatchplad
Neo Member
I really need to do something about mine.
I guess getting started is almost always the worst part...
I guess getting started is almost always the worst part...
You asked how people do that though. Basically it takes more effort to do it than not do it, regardless of the net gain.
You can talk about it here at least if you need to. What's the problem?
been off antidepressants for most of a year now (after being on for 10)
i am basically brain dead
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I'm really introverted and quiet now but I used to be really social and outgoing (but I still feel like an extrovert on the inside. It feels like I'm in a horrible introverted shell that I can't break out of....if that makes sense) - a long time ago when I was a kid. I know that I've been depressed for a few years, but maybe it's been longer than that...maybe I've just been depressed the whole time? Is it possible to be depressed for several years and not even know it?
like everybody who posts on GAF heyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
But what's the real problem?
Pollux
Member
Then I misunderstood and also phrased my initial statement/question wrong. My apologies.
seriously?
meltingparappa
Member
I've been having spells of feeling like absolute garbage since high school, but have only been officially diagnosed since fall.
It was so bad previously that I became a shut-in for basically an entire month, isolating myself from all my friends, refusing to look for a job, doing anything but the bare minimum without being seen.
About two months ago I started Zoloft, but then my girlfriend of six years and I had an incredibly messy breakup. I ended up being hospitalized to an inpatient psychiatric ward for a full week, and this was only three weeks ago or so. My zoloft dosage is now 150mg a day, and I'm taking up to two .5mg tablets of lorazepam/ativan whenever I feel a panic attack coming on.
I feel absolutely miserable every day, and am losing track if it's getting worse.
I cut myself recently, nothing too bad, but I'm set up with a new therapist and a new psychiatrist, the latter which I have an appointment with tomorrow.
I know the antidepressants take a while to work, and that my utter hopelessness is a result of depression and a major life change, but my therapist asks me to promise every week that I will see him again, unharmed, during our next appointment. So far so good, but I feel right on the cusp of where an unexpected stressor will push me over and I may end up in the ER again.
basically, fml :c
It was so bad previously that I became a shut-in for basically an entire month, isolating myself from all my friends, refusing to look for a job, doing anything but the bare minimum without being seen.
About two months ago I started Zoloft, but then my girlfriend of six years and I had an incredibly messy breakup. I ended up being hospitalized to an inpatient psychiatric ward for a full week, and this was only three weeks ago or so. My zoloft dosage is now 150mg a day, and I'm taking up to two .5mg tablets of lorazepam/ativan whenever I feel a panic attack coming on.
I feel absolutely miserable every day, and am losing track if it's getting worse.
I cut myself recently, nothing too bad, but I'm set up with a new therapist and a new psychiatrist, the latter which I have an appointment with tomorrow.
I know the antidepressants take a while to work, and that my utter hopelessness is a result of depression and a major life change, but my therapist asks me to promise every week that I will see him again, unharmed, during our next appointment. So far so good, but I feel right on the cusp of where an unexpected stressor will push me over and I may end up in the ER again.
basically, fml :c
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Same to you sir. And some of these stinky ass depressed ppl COULD use a shower. I'm JUST SAYING.. Starting to smell like brimstone up in this bitch. kehehe
Yes seriously. I've known people on drugs much longer than you were - typically SSRIs - and they managed to ween themselves down to considerably lighter dosages and/or fewer prescriptions altogether. I don't know many who were off them completely, as their illnesses weren't to be taken lightly.Uchip said:
Sure it is. Much longer if the symptoms are there.RatskyWatsky said:
It's easy to obscure with convenient explanations. When you're young: it's a phase, in college it gets better, don't be so hard on yourself. If that continues a few years down the line, however, it's not a phase, it hasn't gotten better, and you still shouldn't be so hard on yourself but you should at least reevaluate.
I just stopped making friends in high school. 9th grade hit and everything pretty much stopped. No more hanging out, no more calling people up, no more playing games together. Nothing.
I did create a lot of vignettes in that time - people who I liked in class but wouldn't bother to talk to in the outside world for whatever dumb reason. There was just enough human interaction to not make me realize how poor my situation was. Let's not forget the other hole fillers
badumtsh
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Yep me too. I stopped going out and making friends such a long time ago. I turned down the friends I did have and they eventually stopped asking me.
And games, movies, food, books, etc. are the only things I look forward to anymore.
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