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[Danj]

Save up. Until then do push ups and squats at home.

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a fixed-term loan that consolidated my major debts (overdraft and credit card) so in just under 7 years' time, I will have plenty of money. I just wish I didn't have to wait till then, because I'll be 40.

 

[BocoDragon]

Ask around on craigslist for spare weights.. Check thrift stores. I bet there are people who are willing to get rid of literal "weight". It's the kind of thing you could score somewhere for dirt cheap, or free.

I've never been to a gym. Working out at home is great. Lift weights and watch a show. Run outside. It works.

 

[Vermillion]

And paranoia sets in.

Riddle me this - when you offer to give someone your number, and they decide to give you theirs instead, is that a bad sign?

 

[LosDaddie]

Eh, a guy that sleeps with a lot of women is a player, why can't a girl that sleeps with a lot of guys be the same. I had no tabs on her. Her friends literally write to me on facebook when she is fucking a dude and ask for me to do something. Super annoying. It's not my fucking life.

Not getting into the bolded part on GAF, but have you ever considered that her friends are trolling you? The last thing I'd want to know about an ex is that she's fucking another guy.

That was me after my divorce. I've gotten a lot pickier. If I decide I'm not REALLY hot for someone, I lose attraction. I'm getting better and better quality women. Sometimes I think I'm attracted to somebody but after one date or one time hanging out, the attraction fades. An evening taking one girl home is an evening I could be spending socializing and meeting somebody I'm more attracted to, or hanging with friends that I really enjoy. So yeah, about 20% of the time even if I approach somebody or ask them out I may ultimately decide they just don't push my buttons enough to really be worth my while. Some of my friends are stunned at the girls I end up flaking on..

I think we're discussing relationships vs sex here. And yeah, I'd agree with you on ~20% being what I'd consider relationship potential.

I feel like all she wants me to do as a boyfriend is talk to her on the phone about her day, walk/drive her to places and that's it. Only twice in 3 1/2 months have we ever cuddled/made out. How can I increase the frequency of that happening if she doesn't want to hangout?

Sorry, duder. Sounds like she's using you, and giving you the pity make-out session every once in a while to keep you on the hook.

Oh god, not this again.

1. A healthy first 'date' with someone is an evaluative process for both parties. There are a lot of guys out there who are just trying to get sex in whatever way possible, but they are probably compensating for something else that's missing from their lives. The rest of us aren't trying to get girls to sleep with us any more than they are trying to do the same.

2. This thread is NOT a representative sample of the population at large and shouldn't be used for qualitative reference. We are a largely internet-savvy group of guys who are often gamers. On top of that, many of the people attracted to this thread want to improve themselves, so naturally there will be a good portion of folks who have a small base of experience with the opposite sex which translates into a perception of unequal power dynamics.

yes this again.

1. I'm trying to think of a reason why I'd date a female, and not want to eventually sleep with her. Can't think of one. It's not a radical notion to state that procreation is on the mind of most single & young males when they pursue a female. Also, :lol @ the compensation comment.

2. I'm just saying that because females are, more often than not, the ones being pursued, they have more "power" than they realize. This thread is a small example of what happens in the real world.

 

[cashman]

OK, I freely admit to being an idiot, I should have thought of that. Mind you, I don't have money to buy track pants either, so that's kind of an obstacle as well.

sell a few old games and buy a pair. Track pants are not that expensive.

 

[Redux]

Is he hitting on or flirting with her? Do you not trust your girlfriend? How do you know he has a crush?

He gives her compliments, they have "alone time" to talk together when I am away. He gets soft and emotional around her I notice (normally Mr. Negative tough guy.) When ever we show love for one another he get's sad or something. The girlfriend tells me that my friend has a crush on her. Do I trust my girlfriend? I like to think I do. We both love one another.

 

[hawkshockey11]

Bullshit, gyms can cost as little as $10 a month. Cut out McDonalds for ONE day and you can almost pay for it.

No one gives a shit about your legs having scars... especially at a gym. You're disillusioned if you think people care that much, and also if you think it even matters what people at the gym think (You're not going to meet women in the gym anyways, women don't like being approached in the gym)


No later than the 3rd date or I'm out

Sex first night you meet

 

[Houston3000]

Yeah, I don't go to McDonalds regularly. Or even at all, any more, I really can't afford it. Also don't forget I live in the UK, where everything costs 1.5 to 2 times as much as America plus we have 20% sales tax on everything (including gym memberships). I challenge you to find me a UK gym in the Cambridge area that only charges £6.29 (the equivalent of $10) for its services.

Whether or not other people would care or not is not the point at all. Unless there's something other than shorts that can be used in a gym setting, then I don't want to do it.

Com'n, what is with you?

Running outside is free, push-ups are free, crunches are free, leg lifts are free, pull-ups are free... catch my drift here? A few dumbbells in the 11kg range would be handy and super easy to get for cheap or even free (people get rid of dumbbells because they surpass them and they're big heavy metal things). Workout naked in your room.

You're really just copping out here and you know it. Money is not stopping you.

 

[demon]

Bullshit, gyms can cost as little as $10 a month. Cut out McDonalds for ONE day and you can almost pay for it.

There isn't a single gym in my area that has a monthly membership fee of at least $50. $10 a month? I call bullshit.

 

[Calion]

Just don't do curls in the squat/power rack and everything will be fine.

My biggest fucking pet peeve.

There isn't a single gym in my area that has a monthly membership fee of at least $50. $10 a month? I call bullshit.

Most Planet Fitness' are $10 a month. Mine is atleast.

 

[Almond]

As a girl, there are 2 things you should always keep in mind when dating:
1. Every guy is trying to have sex with you. Never doubt this. Sure, they may like you and want to get to know you better, but they are definitely trying to sleep with you.

2. You're the female and have the power. I mean, just read this thread. You'll understand what I mean. Now, this doesn't mean you can control, or change the guy into something he's not, but females have more "power" in a relationship than most realize.

I don't think I really believe that....but what do I know? I don't really want to have "power" over someone. It'd be nice if they could be like a friend or something first, but I don't know. It all seems too confusing.

 

[Digishine]

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a fixed-term loan that consolidated my major debts (overdraft and credit card) so in just under 7 years' time, I will have plenty of money. I just wish I didn't have to wait till then, because I'll be 40.

your 33 already wtf u don't look that old on the avatar

 

[Furio53]

I see way too many excuses in this thread. I get it guys.

That being said, if you really want something, you'll do something about it. Stop making excuses and do it.

 

[Houston3000]

There isn't a single gym in my area that has a monthly membership fee of at least $50. $10 a month? I call bullshit.

I don't know about everywhere. I live in NYC and there's at least half a dozen $10 gyms all over... Planet Fitnesses mostly. Down the street from me there's a $15 local gym (some generic name). When I used to live in South Florida I went to a local gym that was $10 and my dad goes to a different gym down there that's $18 a month.

It doesn't matter anyways. Gyms only make it easier, you don't need one to get in shape. If you want to really buff up they get kind of important but beyond that they're absolutely not required.

He gives her compliments, they have "alone time" to talk together when I am away. He gets soft and emotional around her I notice (normally Mr. Negative tough guy.) When ever we show love for one another he get's sad or something. The girlfriend tells me that my friend has a crush on her. Do I trust my girlfriend? I like to think I do. We both love one another.

Aw buddy, have you talked to him about this yet?

A friend of mine thought I had a crush on his "girlfriend" once (I put it in quotes because their relationship was only awkwardly casual tbh). I guess I did have a crush on her at the time but I had never acted on it, not consciously at least... that is until one night he threw it all in my face and accused me of being a horrible friend, a horribly person, for taking advantage of him, etc. He eventually dropped all contact with me and never spoke to me again. I eventually did make a pathetic move on her and got no where, not really, then subsequently lost interest in her completely. She's still a friend but I don't talk to him anymore.

That probably doesn't help but my gut says you should talk to him. I have a feeling her and him are really good friends though, so you need to tread delicately because you don't want to demolish your friendship with him if he's still to remain your girlfriends best buddy.

Sex first night you meet

One can hope!

 

[Redford]

I think some universities let the public and alumni use their gyms, not sure how cheap that would be.

Edit: Also, while home gyms are cool, you'll probably find you like the gym experience after your first time. Sure there are guys that appear to be assholes, but most won't say a thing to you unless you are putting yourself or others in danger.

 

[HarryHengst]

1. I'm trying to think of a reason why I'd date a female, and not want to eventually sleep with her. Can't think of one. It's not a radical notion to state that procreation is on the mind of most single & young males when they pursue a female. Also, :lol @ the compensation comment.

If sex is the number one reason to start dating a woman, you aren't ready to date at all. Just troll bars until you find drunken girls to take home and have sex with.

 

[Oxn]

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a fixed-term loan that consolidated my major debts (overdraft and credit card) so in just under 7 years' time, I will have plenty of money. I just wish I didn't have to wait till then, because I'll be 40.

Wow ive been reading the last few pages, and everything out of you have been an excuse to not do something.

I think its just trolling at this point.

 

[Redux]

On the whole gym-fitness matter. Get a pull-up bar, jump rope and run listening to your favorite jams in the morning. Push ups here and there, maybe it's just my lifestyle but remain active and eat healthy is what I see in every post. You can tell the ones who aren't in shape when they tweet, facebook and comment on how they always go to the gym. Make it routine.

Aw buddy, have you talked to him about this yet?

A friend of mine thought I had a crush on his "girlfriend" once (I put it in quotes because their relationship was only awkwardly casual tbh). I guess I did have a crush on her at the time but I had never acted on it, not consciously at least... that is until one night he threw it all in my face and accused me of being a horrible friend, a horribly person, for taking advantage of him, etc. He eventually dropped all contact with me and never spoke to me again. I eventually did make a pathetic move on her and got no where, not really, then subsequently lost interest in her completely. She's still a friend but I don't talk to him anymore.

Now that is the horrible outcome I don't want at all.

And paranoia sets in.?

Don't think I am capable of blowing up like your friend did, Houston. At least you still have one friend out of that relationship(s).

Luckily they're not "best friends".. so..

Part of me says, "well if she really could fall for him, then so be it, I don't need a person like her blah blah" you know the deal.

Have not talked to my bud about this matter yet. Can possibly approach him in a loose calm way, almost joke like. Your probably thinking, if I really do love my girlfriend, I will.

 

[Minamu]

Well, joining a gym is again an issue with the money. Plus I have massive scars on my lower legs, so I can't wear shorts.

And yes, I have seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and yes I've heard all that stuff about "not putting the pussy on a pedestal", but really, try telling that to my penis!

That's just putting up resistance so you don't have to do it. If you don't have money to go to the gym, lift a chair or two. Gyms don't have magical weights I realize my other examples also require money in some form but I get the feeling you wouldn't do them even if you had the money, am I right? :S Also, noone but you are placing value in your scars. Why don't you try something new for a change and consider them a cool feature instead? It's pretty clear to me that you're resisting change in general. I mostly see excuses unfortunately.

Edit: As for sex, women and relationships, who do you even care that much? I'm not asking, you're supposed to ask yourself this at this point I think Yeah, your life may suck a bit at the moment, but focusing on the good stuff is easy. Not doing that is a conscious decision imho.

 

[Chinner]

danj if you need any more excuses just ask me i've got plenty.

 

[~Kinggi~]

danj if you need any more excuses just ask me i've got plenty.

your excuses are best excuses

 

[electricshake]

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a whole bunch of excuses.

Fixed that for you. Doesn't cost anything to run outside. How much a month do you spend on, for example, video games? Forgo one game and get yourself a pair of trackies for less than a tenner. Or maybe don't buy a PS3.

In other news, I went speed dating on Wednesday, and it was an interesting experience to say the least. I don't know if I'd do it again, but the birds were all waaaaay hotter than the guys. Also the only guy that really stood out was the one who was (or at least acted) confident. So confidence (fake or real) is key lads! Looks help too, but are not the be all and end all.

 

[Atramental]

Here's something that I've learned about excuses:

Excuses are simply a product from our thinking that taking action on something might cause us a bit of discomfort or pain. In order to overcome your excuses you must realize that you'll end up receiving a lot more pain in life if you don't take action. Also, on the flip side, just think of all the pleasure and happiness you will get if you do overcome your excuses and do take action on something that you've been putting off.

I sincerely believe that pain and pleasure are the two main driving forces of human behavior. And the only way we can succeed at something in life is if we learn to manage these two forces.

 

[Minamu]

Here's something that I've learned about excuses:

Excuses are simply a product from our thinking that taking action on something might cause us a bit of discomfort or pain. In order to overcome your excuses you must realize that you'll end up receiving a lot more pain in life if you don't take action. Also, on the flip side, just think of all the pleasure and happiness you will get if you do overcome your excuses and do take action on something that you've been putting off.

I sincerely believe that pain and pleasure are the two main driving forces of human behavior. And the only way we can succeed at something in life is if we learn to manage these two forces.

You mean this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8L4C0IXNC8

 

[Oxn]

Here's something that I've learned about excuses:

Excuses are simply a product from our thinking that taking action on something might cause us a bit of discomfort or pain. In order to overcome your excuses you must realize that you'll end up receiving a lot more pain in life if you don't take action. Also, on the flip side, just think of all the pleasure and happiness you will get if you do overcome your excuses and do take action on something that you've been putting off.

I sincerely believe that pain and pleasure are the two main driving forces of human behavior. And the only way we can succeed at something in life is if we learn to manage these two forces.

SO how the scene been for you Atramental?

Havent had an update from you for a while

 

[Mr.City]

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a fixed-term loan that consolidated my major debts (overdraft and credit card) so in just under 7 years' time, I will have plenty of money. I just wish I didn't have to wait till then, because I'll be 40.

You and Combine should hang out.

 

[Vermillion]

Damn. I'm psyching myself out. She responded well to my first text, then I asked another question. Is that bad?

 

[Hylian7]

Damn. I'm psyching myself out. She responded well to my first text, then I asked another question. Is that bad?

No, seeing how she responded well, it's a good sign you should keep talking to her.

I sort of did the same thing. I had a second date with a girl yesterday, and the first one was about a week before. I didn't text her much other than to schedule that date. At the date, she was like "We didn't talk much over the last week...", in a tone that she wanted me to text/call/talk to her/whatever.

 

[Glorified G]

Thanks man, that's what I think as well.


Respectfully, I disagree completely.

She hasn't cheated on me or acted on her feelings. She says this is something she just realized and felt obligated to let me know. She still has feelings for me, as she does him, and is just very confused on which direction she needs to go in. I told her I'd give her her space while she figured it out so that she could think with a clear mind, but that's it. I don't see how I suggested that I'd be a backup for her.

It's good she hasn't cheated on you and had been honest. But she told you this for a reason. IMO, I don't think she's "confused". I think she sees some potential in this guy and doesn't to lose out on the opportunity, & at the same time doesn't want to completely shut you out just in case it doesn't work out.

hopefully you don't prevent yourself from meeting other women & wait around just for her to make up her mind.

Damn. I'm psyching myself out. She responded well to my first text, then I asked another question. Is that bad?

Your over analyzing. Relax.

 

[José Mourinho]

Dear GAF, do you folks think it's possible to ask out a girl who works in a store and not come across as a creep? For what's worth, even if you all answered positively, I'm still not going to, I just curious to read your opinions. I'm in the UK btw, in case that makes any difference.

 

[Vermillion]

No, seeing how she responded well, it's a good sign you should keep talking to her.

I sort of did the same thing. I had a second date with a girl yesterday, and the first one was about a week before. I didn't text her much other than to schedule that date. At the date, she was like "We didn't talk much over the last week...", in a tone that she wanted me to text/call/talk to her/whatever.

Yeah, I'm working on that. I feel like I'm fucking it up with my timing - wait, as I typed that, she responded a minute after I texted... I don't understand timing at all, I guess.

One more thing, though - is asking "how bad was I last night" a terrible idea? For reference, I was kind of drunk when I met her, so...

Your over analyzing. Relax.

It's a bad habit.

Dear GAF, do you folks think it's possible to ask out a girl who works in a store and not come across as a creep? For what's worth, even if you all answered positively, I'm still not going to, I just curious to read your opinions. I'm in the UK btw, in case that makes any difference.

Yes, yes it is.

 

[Furio53]

Dear GAF, do you folks think it's possible to ask out a girl who works in a store and not come across as a creep? For what's worth, even if you all answered positively, I'm still not going to, I just curious to read your opinions. I'm in the UK btw, in case that makes any difference.

It's not out of the realm of possibility at all. Just make sure it's not crazy busy and be genuine.

 

[Atramental]

SO how the scene been for you Atramental?

Havent had an update from you for a while

At this current moment in time I'm just trying to focus on improving myself. My social anxiety has pretty much been eliminated but I still need to work on my physical body.

I'm planning on getting that p90x diet and exercise program once my spring semester of uni ends.

And I think it's a safe assumption to make that I'll have more success at asking girls out if I don't look flabby and sleep deprived. This spring semester at uni has been keeping me crazy busy because I am taking a bunch of freshman general ed. classes that I missed out on because I went to that crazy religious university during my freshman and sophomore years.

I think by the time my fall semester starts or by day 60 of doing that p90x program I'll be going up to girls and asking them out on a regular basis.

 

[Furio53]

At this current moment in time I'm just trying to focus on improving myself. My social anxiety has pretty much been eliminated but I still need to work on my physical body.

I'm planning on getting that p90x diet and exercise program once my spring semester of uni ends.

And I think it's a safe assumption to make that I'll have more success at asking girls out if I don't look flabby and sleep deprived. This spring semester at uni has been keeping me crazy busy because I am taking a bunch of freshman general ed. classes that I missed out on because I went to that crazy religious university during my freshman and sophomore years.

I think by the time my fall semester starts or by day 60 of doing that p90x program I'll be going up to girls and asking them out on a regular basis.

That's great to hear man. Sounds like you're on the right track, by improving yourself first. It's nice to see someone taking the correct advice in this thread.
Keep it up!

 

[José Mourinho]

Yes, yes it is.

It's not out of the realm of possibility at all. Just make sure it's not crazy busy and be genuine.

In case you care, there's this wee babe that works in a sports store I go to from time to time. She's been there for a few years (not a stalker) I know this because she was helping me out with running shoes one time and I've noticed her on occasions when I've been back.

Anyway, I was in the other day and I had to get these shorts on order because they were out of stock, I got talking to her about the printing on the back of football shirts (of all things) as she was taking my details and whatnot. Anyway, she seems like a nice girl. It's always hard to tell actually nice from treating a customer nice because you're supposed to though.

Anyway, not going to do anything about it as I have no balls. I've sort of been ruined, I got lucky with the first girl I went out with when I was 16 or 17. She put all the effort in to chasing me. Then I got even luckier with the second girl as she done all the chasing again. Ended up with that one for like 4 years and having been single for nearly a year now, I'm rusty at meeting new people and also spoiled because my previous experiences as I had to do nothing. That's not me bragging or anything, I just happen to of struck lucky.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Damn. I'm psyching myself out. She responded well to my first text, then I asked another question. Is that bad?

Why would it be?

Dear GAF, do you folks think it's possible to ask out a girl who works in a store and not come across as a creep? For what's worth, even if you all answered positively, I'm still not going to, I just curious to read your opinions. I'm in the UK btw, in case that makes any difference.

They're probably used to just about anything, but it is very well possible.

 

[Cubsfan23]

No, seeing how she responded well, it's a good sign you should keep talking to her.

I sort of did the same thing. I had a second date with a girl yesterday, and the first one was about a week before. I didn't text her much other than to schedule that date. At the date, she was like "We didn't talk much over the last week...", in a tone that she wanted me to text/call/talk to her/whatever.

yeah she didn't flake because you did everything right.........look at it that way

 

[Vermillion]

Why would it be?

Feel like it's too many questions.

At any rate, I think I might slow down with the responses. I don't want to seem desperate.

What's a good time delay?

 

[greenry]

Well, right now I don't have enough money to save up either. But what I do have is a fixed-term loan that consolidated my major debts (overdraft and credit card) so in just under 7 years' time, I will have plenty of money. I just wish I didn't have to wait till then, because I'll be 40.

So you won't be able to buy another video game for 7 years then?

Like others have said, money seems to be an easy excuse that you can use ad infinitum that masks whatever other (real) reasons you're unable to do something.

 

[Furio53]

In case you care, there's this wee babe that works in a sports store I go to from time to time. She's been there for a few years (not a stalker) I know this because she was helping me out with running shoes one time and I've noticed her on occasions when I've been back.

Anyway, I was in the other day and I had to get these shorts on order because they were out of stock, I got talking to her about the printing on the back of football shirts (of all things) as she was taking my details and whatnot. Anyway, she seems like a nice girl. It's always hard to tell actually nice from treating a customer nice because you're supposed to though.

Anyway, not going to do anything about it as I have no balls. I've sort of been ruined, I got lucky with the first girl I went out with when I was 16 or 17. She put all the effort in to chasing me. Then I got even luckier with the second girl as she done all the chasing again. Ended up with that one for like 4 years and having been single for nearly a year now, I'm rusty at meeting new people and also spoiled because my previous experiences as I had to do nothing. That's not me bragging or anything, I just happen to of struck lucky.

Well think of it this way. The past ones were obviously pursuing you because they both found qualities in you that they liked and wanted. So that should feel good. It's not luck.

As for the girl, just try being genuine. You'll never regret having taken opportunities to do something, but you will regret the what ifs. It's nervwracking, but just do it, don't think about it, force yourself to open your mouth and say what you want. Ask her how her day is, try to transition to a point where you can ask her for her phone number. Every situation is different and you should fel out what exactly to say but just be like, look I've sen you a couple times in here, and I thought you were cute, would you like to meet up after work or later this weekend blah blah blah. Then ask her for her phone number. Just try smiling and joking, make light of the situation.

 

[Atramental]

That's great to hear man. Sounds like you're on the right track, by improving yourself first. It's nice to see someone taking the correct advice in this thread.
Keep it up!

Haha. I know right?

Plus, I want to be a success story for this thread so I can be an example of true possibility to others that struggle with social anxiety.

 

[José Mourinho]

Well think of it this way. The past ones were obviously pursuing you because they both found qualities in you that they liked and wanted. So that should feel good. It's not luck.

As for the girl, just try being genuine. You'll never regret having taken opportunities to do something, but you will regret the what ifs. It's nervwracking, but just do it, don't think about it, force yourself to open your mouth and say what you want. Ask her how her day is, try to transition to a point where you can ask her for her phone number. Every situation is different and you should fel out what exactly to say but just be like, look I've sen you a couple times in here, and I thought you were cute, would you like to meet up after work or later this weekend blah blah blah. Then ask her for her phone number. Just try smiling and joking, make light of the situation.

To the first bit. The first girl basically liked me because I had dreadlocks and she was a posh girls who's dad was a reporter for BBC news

. I was like her bit of rough. The second girl, well yeah, your points probably stand.

As for the second part, that sounds so simple, but I know I'd bottle it. Ugh

 

[Furio53]

To the first bit. The first girl basically liked me because I had dreadlocks and she was a posh girls who's dad was a reporter for BBC news

. I was like her bit of rough. The second girl, well yeah, your points probably stand.

As for the second part, that sounds so simple, but I know I'd bottle it. Ugh

thats why you shouldnt think too long. Just smile and try to make it light. The worst that can happen is she says no thanks. In which case all that pining and worrying was dumb, and youll laugh about it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Feel like it's too many questions.

At any rate, I think I might slow down with the responses. I don't want to seem desperate.

What's a good time delay?

Depends on how quick she replies.

 

[Oxn]

At this current moment in time I'm just trying to focus on improving myself. My social anxiety has pretty much been eliminated but I still need to work on my physical body.

I'm planning on getting that p90x diet and exercise program once my spring semester of uni ends.

And I think it's a safe assumption to make that I'll have more success at asking girls out if I don't look flabby and sleep deprived. This spring semester at uni has been keeping me crazy busy because I am taking a bunch of freshman general ed. classes that I missed out on because I went to that crazy religious university during my freshman and sophomore years.

I think by the time my fall semester starts or by day 60 of doing that p90x program I'll be going up to girls and asking them out on a regular basis.

thats good, keep thinking positive,

 

[Vermillion]

Depends on how quick she replies.

It varies. First, she took two hours - I took a little over one, she took a little under, I took six minutes, she took one, I took six, she took thirty, then I took eight and here we are now.

Wait, she responded as I was typing - that's four minutes.

If I'm telling her about a party being held by a mutual friend, is "will I be seeing you" too much?

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

It varies. First, she took two hours - I took a little over one, she took a little under, I took six minutes, she took one, I took six, she took thirty, then I took eight and here we are now.

Wait, she responded as I was typing - that's four minutes.

If I'm telling her about a party being held by a mutual friend, is "will I be seeing you" too much?

I'm not a native english speaker, why would that be too much?

A simple "You're going, right?" should also do the trick.

If she's replying you that often, you won't seem desperate unless you message her every minute.

 

[Vermillion]

I'm not a native english speaker, why would that be too much?

A simple "You're going, right?" should also do the trick.

If she's replying you that often, you won't seem desperate unless you message her every minute.

I didn't want to feel like I was bombarding her with texts, but I guess you're right.

Thanks!

 

[luckyboyceo]

It's good she hasn't cheated on you and had been honest. But she told you this for a reason. IMO, I don't think she's "confused". I think she sees some potential in this guy and doesn't to lose out on the opportunity, & at the same time doesn't want to completely shut you out just in case it doesn't work out.

hopefully you don't prevent yourself from meeting other women & wait around just for her to make up her mind.

Yeah, unfortunately I think you're right.

I do still think giving her space is the appropriate route here. I told her I'd let her think but that I'm obviously not just going to wait around forever. If she's yet to figure anything out within a couple days, I'll be pulling the plug myself. Maybe that will spark her decision.

 

[Vermillion]

Okay, I'm certain I messed up now. Shit.

EDIT:
And a second text that basically would fix it also makes me come across as not confident. Fuuuuccccckk.