Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
- Thread starter Delio
- Start date
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You're no fun
Well you're not a girl! (Right?)
lordfroakie
Member
No, just a gay black man
Well why would I buy you expensive things?!
No, just a gay black man
wow didn't know there were more black gay guys here other than delio.
Haha, ice cold.
No tits no deal
DR2K
Banned
Well that date ended up exactly like I thought it would. Dressed like a nerd, made fun of the fact that I played video games, shoved his degrees in my face, and he was cheap as shit, etc. . . we both decided to end the date halfway. How the fuck are you going to flaunt your degrees when you drive a busted up truck, and hate the career you spent 6 years to get. Fucking idiot, lol.
Oh well scored a date with another guy tomorrow. Message therapist. ^_^
Oh well scored a date with another guy tomorrow. Message therapist. ^_^
I hate you.
DR2K
Banned
He's giving me a free session, no strings attatched.
Fantastical
Death Prophet
Full release?
lordfroakie
Member
Happy ending
Dead Prince
Banned
guys the thread went from sexy to depressing very fast!
i was there for a long time, same feeling, same depression and image issues, which were kind of bizarre to be honest. it is true that some get a shitty deal in life, but is also true our greatest enemy can be ourselves, the mind does elaborate nasty tricks that unfortunately lead to vicious cycles of depression.that simply should not be there. ive read your posts guys, and you are not dumb people, you are pretty smart and have a lot too offer, and I cant believe theres no person in the world for you. find professional help, it did save my life, now this can be more difficult than it sounds, good mental treatment is really hard to find but is well worth it if you find it. the many times I was at the bottom fortunately the little voice od reason inside my head, almost silenced by all the other crap going on in my mind at that time, kept telling me that there was something wrong, but that it could definitely be dealt with rationally, and something tells me theres tha voice in your heads too. it was no easy, and theres no prince charming to save the day, you are pretty much alone, but is doable, and damn if its not worth it, life is not exactly like our fantasies, but it can be just as pleasant and rewarding, if not more.
Edit: and now the thread is back on track with casual conversation and my post makes little sense in the new page now, but really, I hope everything turns out well.
i was there for a long time, same feeling, same depression and image issues, which were kind of bizarre to be honest. it is true that some get a shitty deal in life, but is also true our greatest enemy can be ourselves, the mind does elaborate nasty tricks that unfortunately lead to vicious cycles of depression.that simply should not be there. ive read your posts guys, and you are not dumb people, you are pretty smart and have a lot too offer, and I cant believe theres no person in the world for you. find professional help, it did save my life, now this can be more difficult than it sounds, good mental treatment is really hard to find but is well worth it if you find it. the many times I was at the bottom fortunately the little voice od reason inside my head, almost silenced by all the other crap going on in my mind at that time, kept telling me that there was something wrong, but that it could definitely be dealt with rationally, and something tells me theres tha voice in your heads too. it was no easy, and theres no prince charming to save the day, you are pretty much alone, but is doable, and damn if its not worth it, life is not exactly like our fantasies, but it can be just as pleasant and rewarding, if not more.
Edit: and now the thread is back on track with casual conversation and my post makes little sense in the new page now
, but really, I hope everything turns out well.Mystic Theurge
Member
I'm bi and black.
Oh yeah, well I cosplayed this year and almost all the suggestions I should do for next year are pretty boys in cute dresses. So there >_<. *Is totally fabulous now*
I'm still depressed time to time. The typical, I want to die, life is never going to get better, etc. But I've also been slowly, but surely getting better. I've lost the weight I wanted too. Better diet. Less Illness. More Cosplay. Better in school and work. Etc. Still very iffy on friends, but I've been making more casual contacts and everything too. So Think Positive.
To those I know, You are fabulous. To those I don't. Most likely you are fabulous too, but not quite as yet since I don't know you! :O
DR2K
Banned
All these years I was spelling it incorrectly. . .
Dead Prince
Banned
go see a massage tutor.
No, it's Message. Your brain just auto-corrects to A.
Goddamn my ability to see the word and know what they mean instead of looking at the details. Such a big picture person.
mantidor said:
Duuuude, I've got body issues about certain aspects of me (then again who doesn't!?) along with sexual issues that tie into relationship issues. So, uh... I'm the hottest of the hottest messes in this thread here.
More than me? You've got some serious issues then!
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I saw an LGBT therapist for several months, but it was just talking. That doesn't solve anything when your brain chemistry is fucked, and I haven't had any insurance since I was a teenager still covered by my parents, so getting the medication that could theoretically help is not an option.
I don't say this to be rude, but you've had partners, a sex life, dates, and so on... You really don't understand what it feels like.
When most people talk about their supposed loneliness from being single, it's a temporary situation, a minor bump in the road of relationships. Don't even get me started on people who complain about not getting laid for a whole month! or something equally trivial. I want to push them into traffic.
Whoa kind of changed my view of this thread and maybe the old one.
Sing it man. I feel the same way.
I've been on meds, but I don't think they did anything for me . . . besides possibly decreasing some of the mania that arises from the depression. However, that could have just been a placebo of my thinking they were doing anything.
As far as everything else, I can relate to a certain degree. But it seems that your motivation to create a relationship is being impeded by something. I'd ask what, but that's probably too personal.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Good! What a fucktard... oh I'm so glad to not be single and have to put up with dates like that. Hope the second guy is much better.
Kyon is not black.
I don't think you are being rude but think of this:
there are people who get more sex or better relationships than me and I could complain about that. If I was depressed and one of those people came to me and said "oh come on, you've also had your share of experiences" I'd tell them exactly the same thing you are telling me, " you don't know what it's like to not get past a 3 year relationship and feel like you are cursed, everyone leaves me after they have had fun with me and get bored"
....and even if I am right, what's the point of comparing myself? it can always be worse or better compared to him, compared to her, compared to my siblings, etc.
don't compare to me or anyone, as others here have said, it could be even worse, but you have life, are good looking and are healthy and that's a start. You may take those things for granted but they are not. The important thing is to localize the things in YOUR life that have to change and take steps toward that. One at a time.
Be a team with yourself, don't let yourself be your own enemy.
Mystic Theurge
Member
Talking with the therapist didn't solve the problem, but did it help at all?
Cosmic Bus, last year I was in a similar position. I was virgin, I had never been in a relationship, and I didn't really have anyone gay guys to hang out with. But when 2012 rolled around, I decided to change. I would either do or die, literally.
Now there have been some bumps in the roads, but overall this year has been really good. I've managed to do things that I never imagined I would do in this life like joining a dating site and hooking up with someone.
Of course, I'm not saying that you're not trying. But my basic message is to not give up just yet. If you want a relationship, try approaching it at different angle than you have previously. Or maybe revist an old method with a new perspective.
You've tried online dating, right? Are you still doing it?
i_am_ben
running_here_and_there
Don't be silly. It wasn't all the other guys fault. DR2K went in there pre-judging and with pre-conceived expectations. How was the date ever going to go well?
Well you don't have to get along with everyone. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I went to at least 5 shrinks before I was lucky enough to find the good one, and they all were really fast in giving me pills. My latest doctor mentioned that while is true some people are chemically imbalanced, at least 90% are being misdiagnosed, and depression is a symptom of other issues rather than the principal disease, the meds I took did nothing for me, and indeed my problem lay elsewhere. I have no idea about your life, but the fact you do want to date is a sign for me, "medically" depressed people usually lose all interest in sex and relationships.
then again, "medically" depressed people tend to think that there is no possible way anyone could have a worse life than them and deny and neglect every piece of proof that their lives aren´t as screwed up as they think.
I don´t know if it´s Cosmic bus´s case (and if it´s, don´t take it personally), but a gay guy thinking about suicide because there have been no relationships or sex in his life isn´t considering that people aren´t allowed to be gay in some countries (middle east), so there are lots of homosexuals there that will not get the chance to date, even if they wanted, at all, EVER, no matter if they are attractive or ugly or if they are sad or happy.
Then there are people that had accidents and would like to be able to look themselves in the mirror after they were left deformed, or lost a part of their body, all this before thinking in the possibility of sex and because not eveyone can get a prothesis leg or arm, many will live like that forever.
but most importantly, there is A MASSIVE LOAD, a HUGE, incredible amount of people that have not have anything serious in their lives and are in their 40´s, most of my dates speak of relationships that last months and I am sure they have a bit of a problem convincing themselves that those couple weeks count as being in a serious relationship. And many downright lie or avoid the theme because they are embarrassed to be in their late 30´s and admit there hasn´t been much of anything in their past. I really don´t see why are people so ashamed, I really don´t care much, other than the lack of experience in bed I mentioned in earlier posts.
My EX being 33, only had an 8 month long trainwreck of a relationship with his ex-ex before me and before that, it was a random date every couple of months throughout his whole adult life, dates that didn´t amount to anything, most of the times not even cuddling or hugging.
Mystic Theurge
Member
sphinx, I know that you're trying to help, but it's not helpful to basically say: "Why are you depressed? Other people have it worse."
I don't think is like that, is more like they know people have it worst, but their feeling doesn't go away, they do feel miserable, without any reason.
Thats kind of the first test, if you ask to yourself "why do I feel miserable?" and the honest answer is "I actually don't know", then you might be in the need of medication, because you acknowledge your external life has nothing to do with it.
Now if there's an answer, then psychotherapy and counseling might be the solution, depending a lot on the answer, if its stuff like "my whole family just died" no amount of talk will get you out of that crappy state, only time can heal that, if the answer ranges from "I want to be an unicorn" (completely unrealistic) to "I feel unattractive" then a shrink might be able to help guide you to know the root reason for that need or frustration, which is at the end of the day the real cause of depression, you want something that you don't have.
And this first step is no easy at all, to answer to yourself honestly that question requires a lot of self knowledge and acceptance, I personally deluded myself for years, this is also deep personal stuff so is not the same for everyone and I don't mean to suggest anyone in the thread has the same case.
Basically this. If you're depressed and someone points this out you're more apt to feel more depressed because now you don't even deserve to feel miserable and are just pathetic. Sadness and depression are very different with the latter really requiring some professional assistance in handling.
And, Cosmic Bus, like others have mentioned I think you should seek help. Therapists are people too and some will make mistakes or not be too helpful. It's just a matter of finding the good ones that do.
That is the fucking worst picture. I was just being mocked by bigoted cunts an hour ago. How the fuck is that my fault
I'm in no position to talk about changing. Every time I read Cosmic Bus posts I keep thinking it looks like something written by me.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Mocked? For being transgendered? I'm sorry
I used to be a transphobe and it was very wrong.Mocked? For being transgendered? I'm sorry
I'm feeling better now. And it's good to hear that someone was transphobic and isn't anymore
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Despite being raised and conditioned to hate gays/transgender, etc. I always felt a strong connection with them as a child, even though I didn't really understand why for a long time.
RPGCrazied
Member
I feel you cosmic bus. I'll be 35 this coming July. I've only had 1 boyfriend my entire life. So I know how it feels. My entire family has others. Both sisters have kids, my brother just had a son. I'm the ugly duckling of the family. But you know what? I don't care. I do other things to take my mind off guys and love. Plus having not to answer to anyone is nice, I do my own thing.
Keep your chin up, if I can, anyone can.
Keep your chin up, if I can, anyone can.
I'm feeling better now. And it's good to hear that someone was transphobic and isn't anymore
Not that it helps, but I'd never understood trans-issues before. I'm not sure I'd have said I was transphobic, but I certainly was trans-ignorant. Even now, it's not something I can really grasp as it's so different from my own experiences.
However, having met a trans-individual I do have a better idea of how hard things can be. He is my friend's ex's step-brother and when I was told I would be meeting him for the first time I was worried it was going to be really weird. However, had I not been told that he wasn't actually a boy, I would have never guessed it. And meeting him really did get me to be more sympathetic to those issues. At the end of the day, there was nothing wrong with him and he seemed so naturally male that I can't imagine the anguish he must have gone through being born in the wrong body.
So, I think most of us here can definitely sympathize with the frustration and pain of being different and the harassment that comes from it. Really, who cares what those fuckers say about us. Their petty bigotry isn't worth our time or feelings. More important are the people that meet us and support us for who we are regardless of what the normal expectations are.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Guys.. Does anyone have experience with chemical peels or heavy microdermabrasion? I haven't aged badly and I'm not even old but its just something thats been weighing heavily on my mind. I'm in a committed relationship and don't need to look good for anyone but myself and my husband but I just don't feel at all attractive anymore.
Am I crazy to want to spend thousands of dollars on something I don't even need or is it something a lot of us go through?
Am I crazy to want to spend thousands of dollars on something I don't even need or is it something a lot of us go through?
Yes.
Dude, I've seen you on TC. Why on earth do you think you'd need this stuff? You're not even old!
Bel Marduk
Banned
You're very sweet for saying that
Thank you. I'm old enough for people to think its strange of me to watch cartoons and play video games.. plus good lighting is helpful - Status
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