she'll make time to be with you.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
Actually, studies find that testosterone levels aren't correlated with aggression. Some show that it is low testosterone that leads to aggression, actually.
And I haven't finished reading about it right now, but it might be increased levels of estrogen that lead to aggression.
So if you want to be manly, be considerate.
Add a zero and you have Brent's weekend prices
As for the "schtick", he, and I, are repeating ourselves over and over again because the stuff works. I agree that the prices are beyond fucked up, especially when the price of admission to Brent's forum is about 10k dollars. I'm never paying that but that doesn't mean his words and philosophy are any less valid. I used to be the king of the nerds in my mind a year ago. I barely had a clue about anything. I obviously had approach anxiety all the time. Two nights ago, I made out with two random chicks, one of which dragged me off towards the DJ stage where a friend of her was dancing, as if I was a trophy... I ended up giving my number to another one later on.Last night, we were clearly at the center of attention with several guys trying to join our little circle because of the girls around us. A milf who has chased me for a while was not shy one bit and I put a note in her back pocket with my name and number. Do I care if either girl contacts me or not, not really. My life feels great no matter what happens and it's all thanks to some seriously long and hard looks at myself, together with reading some pua and listening to Brent's advice. Who knows what'll happen tonight? I'm gonna have some fun dancing with friends, the rest I'm carefree about
Long post but I hope it explains some things at least.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Some of the very little success I've had with girls has come from tips I got from Brent videos, especially in relation to the level of communication you should maintain and having a positive attitude.
I think it's important to not take everything they say literally (as humans we can listen to information and process that which we think is most useful) but I definitely think they can serve as a good guide.
I think it's important to not take everything they say literally (as humans we can listen to information and process that which we think is most useful) but I definitely think they can serve as a good guide.
Eh, that can mean "I really like you as a friend" too. Even if she pays hella attention to you. Even if you cuddle with her. Even if you sleep together (without sticking it in).
I think the following goal posts are good signs: Hand holding, making out, letting you feel her up. Those 3 are the big differentiators between 'real good friend I feel safe around' and initial 'do me forever'
So yeah, go to hold her hand. Wrap your hand around her waist when walking together. Go for the kiss.
And yeah, Brent's general philosophy of positivity and independence are the absolute most important lessons to learn for anyone regarding anything ever. Not fucking kidding.
clearacell
Member
If you're able to be in VERY close proximity to her and she sorta pushes back to be closer to you. You can share physical contact, and without words, both of you know what you are doing to one another.
LordPhoque
Banned
I'm going to quote all my posts about this girl and then post the conclusion.
So, here's the rest of it. She answered my text pretty late, during the night, she said she was busy this afternoon but she might try to cancel her obligation so she could join me ("i'd be glad to"). I didn't answer. The next morning she texted me that it was okay and she could come. So we had a second date. It was better than the first one. She was into me, there was a lot of flirt and all : it was a date, no doubt about it. Plus, she was always the one coming toward me so as far as I was concerned she was into me. Yet I didn't feel that it was the right time to kiss her. I still tried to because fuck it, sometimes girls just doesn't send the signal for a kiss even though they are into you (it happened to me at least). But she asked what I was doing and said to me it was too soon, she didn't know me enough, and that she built a wall around her since her previous breakup... I knew that in female langage it's pretty much bullshit that means "i'm not interested by you". Since she just couldn't stop talking (I'm so sorry, blabla) I just kept silent anyway, waiting for the true reason, which finally came ("I wasn't seeing you for that purpose"). Yeahhh right. So I changed the subject, we talked about something else a little and then I bailed out. I wasn't mad or anything, I'm still not, I just don't understand as this girl truly seemed interested.
The thing that frustrate me is that each time I have the feeling that I'm starting to know signs of interest and when girls are into me or not, there is a case like that when everything seem uncertain and not logic anymore.
Also I did like that girl so yeah it kinda hurts. I mean it's the kind of situation where I don't even want to be enthusiast about going on dates anyway because apparently some girls think that dates aren't date, and even though they are showing you a lot of interest they think it's just being friendly. I just wish it was more clear. More and more often I find myself not being able to be enthusiast about a girl showing interest towards me because at the end I might learn that it was all a big misunderstanding... and it has nothing to do with not picking signs of interests, I think I'm pretty good at it, I help a lot of friends with that. I just seem to attract these "it wasn't what you thought even though it seemed like it A LOT" type of girls...
So I met a girl at a party almost 3 weeks ago. I've already met her at other events and we had some nice chats. This time she came to me and said "Hi [name] !" with a big smile, then we talked for an hour. It was flirty sometimes and she was showed many signs of interests.
I had to go very early because I was working on the next day, when I said so she said "we were probably going to see each other again" and seemed to want me to take her phone number, but I asked for her FB instead for some reason (I was in a hurry since I had my last train to take so I just asked how to find her on FB) I added her on the next day, then she immediately published on my wall "You found me ! Good luck at work and see you soon !
From here I thought it was better for us to talk by MP, I hate FB anyway, so my goal was to take her phone number quickly. We talked a little and she answered within the day each time. I said we should see each other after the exams (we're both students). I actually didn't ask directly but through a private joke concerning a bet and candies, but she was okay with it, saying "we'll probably settle this after the exams, yes". I was really dumb not to take her number at this point and I said myself and I'd wait for the end of the exams. So two days after they were over, I left a message on FB, giving her my number so she could text me. I sent this almost two days ago, I know she checked FB because I saw her liking stuff... so, did I fail somewhere ? Was interested in this girl fo a long time so it would suck if I did something wrong... for some reason it always happen to me : girl is interested, I'm not needy at all (actually maybe I'm too distant), her interest seem to disappear. Frustrating as hell. I'm not even flattered/motivated by girls showing interest anymore because I know that it may be different some days or weeks later for no reason at all.
So, here's the rest of it. She answered my text pretty late, during the night, she said she was busy this afternoon but she might try to cancel her obligation so she could join me ("i'd be glad to"). I didn't answer. The next morning she texted me that it was okay and she could come. So we had a second date. It was better than the first one. She was into me, there was a lot of flirt and all : it was a date, no doubt about it. Plus, she was always the one coming toward me so as far as I was concerned she was into me. Yet I didn't feel that it was the right time to kiss her. I still tried to because fuck it, sometimes girls just doesn't send the signal for a kiss even though they are into you (it happened to me at least). But she asked what I was doing and said to me it was too soon, she didn't know me enough, and that she built a wall around her since her previous breakup... I knew that in female langage it's pretty much bullshit that means "i'm not interested by you". Since she just couldn't stop talking (I'm so sorry, blabla) I just kept silent anyway, waiting for the true reason, which finally came ("I wasn't seeing you for that purpose"). Yeahhh right. So I changed the subject, we talked about something else a little and then I bailed out. I wasn't mad or anything, I'm still not, I just don't understand as this girl truly seemed interested.
The thing that frustrate me is that each time I have the feeling that I'm starting to know signs of interest and when girls are into me or not, there is a case like that when everything seem uncertain and not logic anymore.
Also I did like that girl so yeah it kinda hurts. I mean it's the kind of situation where I don't even want to be enthusiast about going on dates anyway because apparently some girls think that dates aren't date, and even though they are showing you a lot of interest they think it's just being friendly. I just wish it was more clear. More and more often I find myself not being able to be enthusiast about a girl showing interest towards me because at the end I might learn that it was all a big misunderstanding... and it has nothing to do with not picking signs of interests, I think I'm pretty good at it, I help a lot of friends with that. I just seem to attract these "it wasn't what you thought even though it seemed like it A LOT" type of girls...
Pff, never speak to her again.
LordPhoque
Banned
Yeah that's what I'm planning to do anyway. Even though I liked that girl I already feel better. I'm 100% sure that this screw-up surely wasn't mine so next.
Outrage247
Banned
Lord I think a lot of your problems would have been solved with a phone call asking if she wanted to go on a DATE with you. It seems like you missed that word in all your interactions.
LordPhoque
Banned
It doesn't work like that in my country. The minute you say that, you lost, believe me. It has to be a date BECAUSE it's a date. Any person with a minimum of social intelligence knows it's a date when it's a date so I'm going to put this one on immaturity. And I still think the girl was interested. If my english was better I'd give a shitload of examples of signs of interest she gave me, things she shaid, behavior she had, etc. Christ I slept with girls showing barely HALF of her signs of interest the night I met them...
Believe me there was no doubt about it. Plus, I didn't have to call her or ask her out because she was the one doing it, even making time for me. Now I don't know about you, but my female friends doesn't text me that the afternoon we spent together was great, neither they cancel things to join me, etc.
SmackDaddy
Member
studying thread. putting self back on market. LETS DO THIS! Hopefully i have whacky adventures to share with everyone within a few weeks
Question: When woman wears shades does that indicate distance from the man from the man she talking to?
Also I'm working on getting over the co-worker but man it is not easy. I don't know what it is about her that makes me feel like I just lost something very special with her. I'ts not like she is the first woman that I missed out on.
Also I'm working on getting over the co-worker but man it is not easy. I don't know what it is about her that makes me feel like I just lost something very special with her. I'ts not like she is the first woman that I missed out on.
I need more friends... :/
I felt so alone tonight (friend left early), and there's a part of me which thinks I should just text my "ex" to see if she wants to go out soon.
I ended it with her for a few reasons (we were good friends beforehand, and she's also a Christian), but I did enjoy the few dates we had.
I just hate feeling like this.
I felt so alone tonight (friend left early), and there's a part of me which thinks I should just text my "ex" to see if she wants to go out soon.
I ended it with her for a few reasons (we were good friends beforehand, and she's also a Christian), but I did enjoy the few dates we had.
I just hate feeling like this.
Devolution
Member
I think anyone who does it either wants distance or is kind of rude unless they make mention of being sensitive to light. It's up there with texting while in the company of someone else for me.
I'm super boring. And you know, the self-hate haha.
I am very good at eye contact, warm smiles, laughing, etc. Customer service for years.
It's so hard for me to tell if a 1st date went well if we're not having sex by the end of it...
-No kiss, she seemed specifically to avoid it, hug only.
-Apparently doesn't date much (maybe I'm the first in quite a while (year+?) based on what she said? It was hard as heck staying in contact with her on the site but I did...).
-Earlier in the evening she brought up the idea of doing something next weekend but by the end she seemed uncertain (uh oh). Specifically at one point I sorta mentioned going back to her place and she said something about next weekend.
-Two jobs, not much money, and her family seems to run her life (she has her own place though).
Thoughts, protips, observations, hatred?
-No kiss, she seemed specifically to avoid it, hug only.
-Apparently doesn't date much (maybe I'm the first in quite a while (year+?) based on what she said? It was hard as heck staying in contact with her on the site but I did...).
-Earlier in the evening she brought up the idea of doing something next weekend but by the end she seemed uncertain (uh oh). Specifically at one point I sorta mentioned going back to her place and she said something about next weekend.
-Two jobs, not much money, and her family seems to run her life (she has her own place though).
Thoughts, protips, observations, hatred?
Since you asked for it, I HATE YOU
But i dont know. See how responsive she is to a follow-up date. If she doesnt give you the runaround then maybe she just needs more than one date. But i know nothing about dating cause NOBODY WANTS ME so what do i know got damn.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
-not everyone wants sex on the first date
-not everyone is comfortable kissing on the first date
-her first date in some time so she's probably a little out of practice
-can you tell me what you're doing next weekend? Would you invite someone back to your place on the first date (see sex/kiss/etc.)
-nothing wrong with working two jobs if it pays the bills. Is her situation going to improve though? Her reluctance may be based on family approval.
I think it's a little too early to judge her.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I wouldn't mind paying some local PUA guy that knows what he's doing to coach me or whatever. Just to see if it works.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Where you gonna find him? Are there clubs for it?
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Beats me. Maybe I could put up fliers around town.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
SpectreFire
Member
Don't do it. It is literally a scam and nothing more.
I have a friend who used to work at a bookstore. She would constantly have these PUA bootcamps come in and not even subtly hit on every attractive or mildly attractive woman in the store.
Buy this book instead:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0671027034/?tag=neogaf0e-20
This is really all you need. Every bit of "advice" PUAs teach is taken right out of this book.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Yeah I'm already aware the whole thing is pretty BS. But unfortunately I don't know anyone IRL who can steer me in the right direction.
Boozeroony
Member
Hit the gym. Get that squared jaw.
I do got the squared jaw haha which is weird. Hit the gym also.
Boozeroony
Member
Don't worry then. If you have an athletic body, the dimples are indeed cute, but only in a good way.
I'm super boring. And you know, the self-hate haha.
I am very good at eye contact, warm smiles, laughing, etc. Customer service for years.
If you do it right, you'll give off a "Come hither" vibe. There is a slight difference between how you should smile at customers and potential mates, though naturally I've never seen you smile...post pics! lol
Well I'm still skinny but I'd say I have an athletic looking body. I was just wondering ways I could look a little more masculine. I'm thinking a tattoo, but obviously I want meaning behind it and not just to look "tough."
Prophet Steve
Member
Well, it now sounds like you exactly want it to just look "tough", but don't want other people to think that is the reason. Which is a very bad reason to take a tattoo and it is even worse if you want to hide your intentions.
Unless you already wanted a tattoo, but I don't think it would have a large effect and this should not influence your decision.
Boozeroony
Member
A swastika, man. Bitches love swastikas.
What I was getting at is that I want a tatoo that has meaning and not some generic ass tribal band. I have enough confidence in designing a tatoo that can have meaning while also looking cool. but I understand where you're coming from.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Shit man, seeing this makes me want to come down and just hang out with you and make you feel more happy with life and stuff. You know, I always visit kent and pass by London via st panceras (I live in leicester) so if you PM me I am more than happy to talk to you matey and meet up sometime
I'll turn your attitude around.Get a Manji symbol, its Japanese.
shanshan310
Member
Lol. It's stuff like this that makes me not want to get a tattoo. I think it'd be cool to get something in Japanese and Korean (my majors) but I don't want to look like an idiot. It may be impossible.
U guys wanna see my tat? I'm working on at least..
would be nice to work into back/neck/arm..
Trying with the guy that lost in that tat show on TV he came in second place. Bald guy, nice smile.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Met a girl via a dating site and got chatting, turns out she lives within 10 miles of me, we work in the SAME PLACE, great stuff! Going really well all week, chatting, emailing, etc. Don't hear from her for a couple of days don't think much of it, then see she's added a couple of random guys on FB who live quite far away. Didn't think much of it at the time, however it turns out they're some other guys shes got chatting to online, guess things aren't going to end up quite the way I hoped.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dating sites. They are a really great way of messing things up before they ever get started. Ever heard of too many cooks in the kitchen? Well there are too many guys on these fucking sites, there will ALWAYS be a better man who is just an instant message window away. It's useless.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dating sites. They are a really great way of messing things up before they ever get started. Ever heard of too many cooks in the kitchen? Well there are too many guys on these fucking sites, there will ALWAYS be a better man who is just an instant message window away. It's useless.
A lot of women do it though. I don't know if women view it as a fashion statement or there don't want the guy to see their eyes.
I've never noticed it at all, except if it's sunny outside. It's okay in my eyes (heh) in that case, I think
What situations are you thinking about?It just means you have to be the best man on there.
And messing things up before they get started? If it didn't work out now, it was never going to work out. So it saves you time wasted.
I've never noticed it at all, except if it's sunny outside. It's okay in my eyes (heh) in that case, I think
Yesterday I was talking to this women who I have been trying to get a date with. For the first she wore shades.
Another woman (a coworker) also wore shades the last time I was with her.
With both women this was the first time it happen.
Hypereides
Member
What this man said.
I know - or rather knew - a few coaches. It infuriates me how some of them have turned simple advice/tricks/ideas into a business. And there's hundreds of crash courses in women these days. Its fucking disgusting, its basically daylight robbery.
The seduction community wasnt like this prior to 2003' or even before, untill The Game became a hit. Whilst I wasnt part of it back then, I did participate in some activity/events. Back in the good old days it was more private, luxurious and exclusive. I entered it, back when it was progressing from the unknown, into the mainstream phase.
Now its pretty much worthless, abused and quick-cash scheme for the experienced and professionals.
Whats worse I still see or hear about chumps who dive into it head first.
Its worse than those guys who dont know jackshit about how to attract women.
Crescendo170
Member
Does anyone else have the problem of being to tired/bored to pick up women? I'm very confident and I look allright, but in general it's like I can't be excited or happy for anything - much less muster up the energy to hit on girls. I've tried to rectify this by excercising regularily, cutting down on porn-consumption, eating good food, doing stuff with friends etc, but it's like the spark has gone out.
Has anyone here experienced this? Could it be a sign of a depression of some kind?
Has anyone here experienced this? Could it be a sign of a depression of some kind?
Was it indoors, at night, or what?
I dunno, sounds like reading too much into nothing, unless you caught them putting them on just because they saw you or something 
Was it indoors, at night, or what?
Perhaps
Maybe the shades mean something maybe they don't.
To avoid going crazy over the little things, I would try to work around the assumption that these things never mean what we hope they don't, you know?
It's usually true anyway. Then you'll feel like an idiot for worrying over something really obscure and perhaps even laugh at it later on I talked to the woman today who hurt me so bad a year ago. Did some bantering and chatting over facebook on a mutual friend's wall. I didn't initiate anything and it was friendly enough. Felt pretty good and I'm not phazed by it at all. Of course, I still hate her guts on some level but I wouldn't be where I am today or be who I am if it wasn't for her so it's all good
As far as I know, she has moved in with her boyfriend somewhere and that's good for them, I couldn't care less about that. My life has never been better ^^Lone_Prodigy
Member
You say "didn't think too much of it", then proceed to list something that contradicts it. You do this twice.
Either you actually stop thinking too much about it (i.e. stop the FB stalking), or you acknowledge that you actually do care and work on caring less.
About a week ago my girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me. Long story short, she had been bottling whatever frustrations up until it exploded in this cavalcade of bullshit. This is sort of a thing that has gone on every once in a while throughout the relationship. I peg it up as her not being able to communicate. Almost all our fights were about her spending, what I thought was, way too much time with her best friend. Her best friend is a guy, who she dated for a month in high school. Well, at first I was okay with it, as my best friend is a girl, but then she mentioned that one of their mutual friends said that he still loved her or had strong feelings for her. Around that time she spent the night there, at his parents house, and didn't text or call me about it before hand. I flipped out, obviously and told her to call me to pick her up in situations where she went out drinking and couldn't drive home, that's what boyfriends are for. So that shit stopped. Skip about a month or two ahead and we were spending very little time together (opposite schedules and all that) and after work she would go right to hang out with him and some other friends, usually coming home at like 2:30 in the morning. Well, we had another discussion about how we're not spending much time together, and she tried to say that I would sit on my computer when we had days off together. Honestly, just avoiding the real issue of it all. The day after that I was on my computer and she flipped and left. A few days later, the breakup.
I should also mention that we have lived together for almost a year in our apartment.
Whatever, basically she felt our relationship wasn't worth working through, even after I continually suggested different ways to try and sort our problems out bit by bit, so I had a bad week and I'm pretty much over it (plus, she hasn't slept here for 4 nights in a row).
Last night I made an account on OKCupid and so far, 99% of the girls on there are hambeasts, obvious crazies, religious fanatics, or generally someone I don't find appealing. I'm thinking perhaps in a month or something I'll have some sort of manic depressive breakdown when this all really hits me or something, but for now, I'm coping. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, because if we could have just made some breakthrough in communication this could have all been sorted out, but she's a few years younger than me, selfish in a lot of ways, and can't stand to be controlled in the slightest (disregarding the fact that we were in a "serious" relationship, living together, etc.) by just the fact that I suggested that the time spent with her friend and me were disproportionate.
I've probably left a lot out, but frankly that's not the important part, what I'm mostly getting at is this:
Am I trying to jump back into dating too soon? Going about it the wrong way? I plan on going back to school come fall, so hopefully I'll have better chances with girls then, or perhaps hunker down and focus on school.
I should also mention that we have lived together for almost a year in our apartment.
Whatever, basically she felt our relationship wasn't worth working through, even after I continually suggested different ways to try and sort our problems out bit by bit, so I had a bad week and I'm pretty much over it (plus, she hasn't slept here for 4 nights in a row).
Last night I made an account on OKCupid and so far, 99% of the girls on there are hambeasts, obvious crazies, religious fanatics, or generally someone I don't find appealing. I'm thinking perhaps in a month or something I'll have some sort of manic depressive breakdown when this all really hits me or something, but for now, I'm coping. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, because if we could have just made some breakthrough in communication this could have all been sorted out, but she's a few years younger than me, selfish in a lot of ways, and can't stand to be controlled in the slightest (disregarding the fact that we were in a "serious" relationship, living together, etc.) by just the fact that I suggested that the time spent with her friend and me were disproportionate.
I've probably left a lot out, but frankly that's not the important part, what I'm mostly getting at is this:
Am I trying to jump back into dating too soon? Going about it the wrong way? I plan on going back to school come fall, so hopefully I'll have better chances with girls then, or perhaps hunker down and focus on school.
- Status