ThanksVision
Member
I mean, I've eaten her out before and that was fine. It did the trick, at least. She seemed to love it, hah. I'd love as many tips to please her, whether oral or fingers, anything helps, ya know? Thanks.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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I mean, I've eaten her out before and that was fine. It did the trick, at least. She seemed to love it, hah. I'd love as many tips to please her, whether oral or fingers, anything helps, ya know? Thanks.
Just keep eating. If you have that down to a good technique, you don't need fingering.
If you can, get your thumb on the clit while doing the above. Dunno if you can do diff tempos on one hand, but that is killer. If not, oral the clit, while fingering. Having a mint beforehand helps stimulate too (or minty, menthol like gum).
The Antitype
Banned
You can ask your doctors about Paxil. Sometimes it's perscribed for that purpose. But it doesn't have the same side-effect for everybody. Also, it's an SSRI, so if you're not dealing with anxiety or depression, it can cause behavioral side-effects in some people too.
That said, if you lose it before she comes, just go down on her. I've had instances where I couldn't get it up cause of anxiety, or alcohol, or whatever, so I just spent hours going down on a girl. She was just as appreciative.
I'm definitely the same.
Are you cut?
From casual conversation with friends, it seems like all the cut guys have the same issues, while the uncut guys have no such problems.
I think it's also cause in sex, you can adjust entry and whatnot to get friction where you want it. With oral, you're counting on the girl. And short of holding a fucking seminar through the thing, it's easier just to say 'thanks babe, I'm ready to go' or whatever.
You know what the g-spot and AFE zone are, right?
Also, bring her to the brink of orgasm and stop. Let her settle down a bit, repeat. Over and over. You'll find her begging and pleading and bucking arousing, I think.
Eating a girl out makes me horny as fuck.
The Antitype
Banned
The act doesn't for me, but the reaction does.
I'm very auditory by nature. I'd rather hear a woman cum then see her tits.
Yes, I am.
Seriously, I thought it was an issue just for me. Good to hear that some here have the same issue. It can lead to awkward moments with some girls...
I love the reaction. Hearing her near/finish is what sets the fire for me.
ThanksVision
Member
I had her bucking last time, and I found that super hot, haha. I'm familiar with the G-spot, but the AFE? What is that?
High five! Haha.
EDIT: I guess it is more of the auditory thing! Haha, hearing her squeal definitely gets me.
Yeah same here, its not like I enjoy the sensation on my tongue, its her grinding, moaning, juices flowing or squirting out. Sigh.
See, she would constantly bring up she hadn't orgasmed in 4 years (she only ever did once). I got her close one time, like really close, but she made me stop. There's been times where for round 2 I can go for almost an hour, no stops, but not consistently enough. Been trollin around different penis excercise sites for Kegel regiments and other things to try and improve.
Learned I can eventually orgasm without ejaculating. The Dream, man.
Yeah, the hardest, most intense orgasm I ever had as during 69. Love eating out.
The Antitype
Banned
It's also called the deep spot. It's kind of an advanced thing, so just save it for when you two are comfortable together.
Almond
Member
This will probably get looked over in the middle of this conversation happening here.......but this is my profile. I already know it's pretty bad, but I'm not that exciting or interesting. I'm not sure how to improve it.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TheCowbird
Please don't be too harsh about anything.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TheCowbird
Please don't be too harsh about anything.
ThanksVision
Member
Does anybody have any good sites or blogs or posts or anything that give good tips on how to make her feel the best when eating out / fingering / whatever?
First of all, you gotta look happy in your pictures. Get some smiles going and drop the mugshots.
Smiles will go a long way. Remember, you are advertising yourself. I would find another screenname and drop any hints of insecurity from your profile. You are trying to market yourself. I think you're adorable.
ThanksVision
Member
The only thing I could recommend is sounding a little more outgoing on your profile. Talk about how you're always looking to meet new people, rather than being introverted. I know you're being honest, but guys want somebody who will be fun and open to them.
Other than that, you seem super cool. I don't think you'll have many problems!
Stop thinking that you're boring and awful, first off! Stay positive in your profile and in your own mind.
Second, take a pic of yourself without the dour facial expression to use as your main profile photo. Meaning, smile
. Also, do you have any pictures from being out with friends or traveling? Try to mix it up. Third, it can be a run away screaming in the other direction flag if you list that you "don't have kids, but want them" in your profile. If you're not actually looking to settle down and start a family in the near future, I'd personally not put it on there. From a guy perspective, showing an active desire to have kids from the get-go immediately brings to mind poking holes in condoms and other nightmarish scenarios ;b. Guys will generally want to have kids with someone they're deeply in love with while in a stable long-term relationship and/or married. That's a road that can be crossed later.
"Not being a reader," hmmm, I think everyone is potentially a reader. It's one of the best ways to expand your worldview aside from direct life experiences. Change that up, perhaps; leave your comfort zone and try out some things. Reading books is a great way to share common ground with someone and demonstrate intellectual curiosity. It's a way to be more interesting.
Chuck Norris
Banned
So I guess I'm the only one here who loses it when I wear a condom, but last a reasonable amount of time without one.
I either hate how they feel and lose it, or omg sensitive and lose it. I can't win wearing one, it's why I avoid hooking up
I'm the same
So I guess I'm the only one here who loses it when I wear a condom, but last a reasonable amount of time without one.
I either hate how they feel and lose it, or omg sensitive and lose it. I can't win wearing one, it's why I avoid hooking up
I hate condoms...fucking hate them.
Devolution
Member
Get her to orgasm first before you stick it in.
shanshan310
Member
Gotta say, 'eating out' is the most unsexy, unromantic phrase I have ever heard to describe oral
That's interesting, I wonder why..
That's a good idea. Takes the pressure off.
rug munching is up there among the worst.
That's interesting, I wonder why..
That's a good idea. Takes the pressure off.
The girlfriend doesn't allow/want me having any women as friends. (I don't really give a crap, she's all I need, but the fact..) She hates when any girl tries to flirt with me, I say I hate when guys flirt with her. She claims its different because I can go on a frenzy? Not sure what she meant.
She also has a few guy friends, one of which she bring up a lot. She use to tell me about her gal pals, now its nothing but "oh me and x-guy met at the store and it was so weird, we both just chilled in the parking lot and had a smoke."
When ever she brings up this same guy, I usually just stay silent, gives her the hint that I give zero shits about hearing about him. Or I'll mock him/story.
She also doesn't want me meeting this guy. Says we "won't get along."
Claims its her smoking buddy, and "person to buy her beer."
Does she want me to be jealous of this guy or something?
She also has a few guy friends, one of which she bring up a lot. She use to tell me about her gal pals, now its nothing but "oh me and x-guy met at the store and it was so weird, we both just chilled in the parking lot and had a smoke."
When ever she brings up this same guy, I usually just stay silent, gives her the hint that I give zero shits about hearing about him. Or I'll mock him/story.
She also doesn't want me meeting this guy. Says we "won't get along."
Claims its her smoking buddy, and "person to buy her beer."
Does she want me to be jealous of this guy or something?
Sounds like she's cheating on you. At the very least, she doesn't respect you. Double standards are not acceptable in a relationship. This sounds caustic. Don't let her play you like a Piano.
Neither did I until all the good advice in these threads.Xun, see...I never had any confidence, so there's nothing to really base it off of to go back to haha. I dunno. And there's nothing good about me so...nothing to repeat back at myself haha
Sure I lost what little confidence I had gained, but I'm trying different methods to get it back and go beyond how I was before.
You've just got to try to change your attitude, and do something similar to this:
Sweet, cool (you have to be to post here as a girl), extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
Sweet, cool, extremely pretty.
The more you keep telling yourself something, even if you don't believe it, will change your outlook.
For example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5-xuW_PZJQ
You were looking for an opportunity to use that one
I'm about 10 pages in, are there any new twists later?
I would be careful about this. I'm pretty insensitive whenever I haven't had sex for awhile, I suppose because I tended to use too strong of a grip when on my own. There's not much you can do when you're insensitive (she might compliment your staying power but eventually she might want you to actually finish), but if you are sensitive, you can keep changing positions which will increase the variety.
Plus the best sex is usually around 15 minutes.
She tries to make me feel better (guess she can sense the situation?) by saying he's unattractive.
Part of me I just think can't handle her being close with another guy. I mean, she has multiple guy friends, but this one.. eh. and the mix of alcohol/weed.
Oh and he constantly invites her to stuff. Like concerts (where they met), family stuff like his sister's graduation, parties out of town, camping etc. They'd have to be pretty close for him to invite her to these things.
Yeah, it's definitely not fair. You should be able to have friends that are girls if she has a guy that's a friend. I'm betting something is up.
shanshan310
Member
Well it sounds like he's into her at least. It seems like she's crossing a relationship boundary, especially if she made it clear she didn't want you to have female friends. That is a double standard through and through.
Kong Fisso
Banned
And she doesn't want you to have girl friends?
Maybe aah.... she doesn't trust you, because she doesn't trust herself.
oooh....
Omegasquash
Member
Required to jump in, here. Seeing what you write is pretty painful, as it's pretty clear (going from your side of the story, which is all I have to go on) that she's using both of you, only the fellow that's the grass/beer hookup doesn't have to deal with the BS as much as you.
The way I see it, there are two ways that you can go about this.
1) Say fuck it, and go with her to meet this dude. It's part test and part bringing your A game. The more she puts forward that she doesn't want you there, the more sure you can be that she's stepping out on you. If she concedes, then you just bring your A game, get to know this guy and outdo him at what he does best. Just remember...if your personality, charm and grace (which is what it would be, given the circumstances) don't win out over her need to have an easier time getting intoxicated, then you do not want to be with this girl. Break up NOW, before it gets more painful.
2) Say fuck you, this is NOT OK. Give her an ultimatum. If she chooses him over you, then you get instant closure, right then and there. Close the book, deal with your emotions and understand that you've done something good for yourself. Then use that experience to strengthen yourself in future relationships, knowing what you want, knowing what isn't OK by you, and being confident enough in yourself to walk away from something that hurts.
Stealth Edit for option 3:
3) Go get a girl/friend. Do what you want to do with her, and start treating your current the same way she treats you. If your current is all of a sudden willing to end it with her boy/friend, then the power in the relationship is balancing out, and the doors are open now for a talk about expectations and feelings. If she flips out, tell her it's OK, you'll break up with the other, then get some make up sex and ditch her. Because fuck that.
What's the point in trying to win her over? If she's not being honest, why stick around? I know it's painful but it would be best for him in the long run to just call it off if she's not going to play by her own rules.
Omegasquash
Member
Giving her one final chance for his own closure. That way he'll have absolutely no doubt what-so-fucking-ever. As it stands, he's looking for advice, which says to me the there are some small lingering doubts/rays of optimistic hope. Giving him the chance to explore them and see through what you and I see are lies is only for him, not her.
HE is in control here, and he can start by taking charge of how this relationship will go. Unless I missed something where he wants to figure out how to exit. In which case:
4) Say fuck you, we're over. Don't call me no more, bitch.
If he's trying to win her over, that means that he has given up control. He's giving her control to dictate the terms of their relationship. He needs to send a clear message that he's not going to tolerate this double standard by giving her an ultimatum. If she doesn't feel strongly enough about him to accept him, then what's the point in staying in the relationship?
He might have some lingering hopes, but in my experience those kinds of hopes have only ended up hurting me.
He might have some lingering hopes, but in my experience those kinds of hopes have only ended up hurting me.
You're so pretty :} I'm jealous of your hair lol. Go for it, gurl~
Omegasquash
Member
Perspective here...I'm telling him this in the assumption that he's going to assume a stance and feeling of control over himself before doing anything at all. I definitely see what you're saying, however. At the end of the day, it's all about his feelings, though I do recommend forcing oneself to confront if there are worries of lingering doubts. Confronting what you're afraid of, or not good at in a sensible, well thought out way tends to lead to strength.
Not to cheapen it, but it's like pushups, or making your first presentation to a crowd. You suck horrible ass at it the first time, and you're well aware of it. At the end of the day though, unless you break your arm or vomit all over the projector, you did it, and you'll walk away with knowledge of what your strong points are, what your weak points are, and you can evolve from there.
Also it'll hurt more if those doubts stay open, or if he just dumps her and walks out as she's crying. Giving her the chance will show whether they're crocodile tears or no, I think.
Where do you single guys & gals work at? What kind of business is it? I ask because when I was a bachelor, a good amount of my relationships & hook-ups came from work, whether it was co-workers/co-worker's friend or customers that came in. Now, this was when I was in college and/or during Summer break, and working part-time at restaurants and retail. The actual job(s) were nothing special, but the people made it worth it.
Like the saying goes; You have to create your own luck. My current engineering job would, for example, be a horrible place to try to meet a lady. (not that it matters since I'm married)
So, don't rule out a workplace as an avenue to meet someone. But of course, it depends on what kind of job. SErvice industry and retail typically don't give a shit about co-workers hooking up.
eh, not really. He's just trying to fuck her, and possibly have a relationship. Is he giving her weed for free? If so, then he's definitely trying to fuck.
Like the saying goes; You have to create your own luck. My current engineering job would, for example, be a horrible place to try to meet a lady. (not that it matters since I'm married)
So, don't rule out a workplace as an avenue to meet someone. But of course, it depends on what kind of job. SErvice industry and retail typically don't give a shit about co-workers hooking up.
eh, not really. He's just trying to fuck her, and possibly have a relationship. Is he giving her weed for free? If so, then he's definitely trying to fuck.
Hypereides
Member
Most likely this.
I would just continue seeing my female friends. I dont see a reason why a relationship would prohibit or hinder me from talking to the friends I like.
Its very childish behaviour on her behalf. If she starts blowing it out of proportion, I'd probably suggest its better to just be friends.
This is exactly what my ex was doing..
THIS IS NOTHING BUT RED FLAGS
EITHER CALL HER OUT ON THE DOUBLE STANDARD OR GIVE HER THE ULTIMATUM OF YOU OR HIM. ALSO, THIS PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO LAST. YOU NEED TO SET THESE BOUNDARIES FROM THE BEGINNING. BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE BECAUSE SHE'LL SAY "well, why didn't this bother you before? Why didn't you bring this up the first time" ETC ETC.
10/10
I hope that phrase sticks lol.
In any case, my god that situation is grating. Definitely talk to her about this guy and how you feel that they are way too close. It's not being clingy if you do this because she is stepping over boundaries here, especially with the double standards.
Good luck man, I really hope it works out for you.
Fuck ultimatums. I don't think that would work. I would just start up a conversation detailing all the tings she is allowed to do with that guy but I wasn't with a girl. Then either break up with her, or let her know all bets are off. You're going to do whatever the fuck you want. If she's not fucking the guy, then that's her #2. I've said several times in this thread that most girls have a back up man, that's her back up. She's insecure so won't let you have any female friends, but practically has another boyfriend. You're the sucker in this relationship.
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
I don't really like ultimatums, it feels like I'm pressuring too much my own luck on the problem.
Anyway, first-time poster but I've been reading this thread for ages already heh. But I really have to post now. I am going to a trip with all my friends, which are about 45 people. There is this one girl that is very special to me, and I think I am special to her, but honestly, in this trip anything (and I really mean anything) can happen.
I seriously don't know how to approach to her to get into a serious relationship. I see myself as a happy, confident and charismatic person, but seriously I have never gotten into any relationship, so I am quite a noob in this relationship-thingy. Heh. Thanks.
Also, Leeness, dammit, you're pretty, now get up and go for the man of your life!
Anyway, first-time poster but I've been reading this thread for ages already heh. But I really have to post now. I am going to a trip with all my friends, which are about 45 people. There is this one girl that is very special to me, and I think I am special to her, but honestly, in this trip anything (and I really mean anything) can happen.
I seriously don't know how to approach to her to get into a serious relationship. I see myself as a happy, confident and charismatic person, but seriously I have never gotten into any relationship, so I am quite a noob in this relationship-thingy. Heh. Thanks.
Also, Leeness, dammit, you're pretty, now get up and go for the man of your life!
Hypereides
Member
Dont like being a pessimist but from what I understand it seems kinda too late to change any roles in that relationship. Shes basically got the leadership right now. She dominates and allows his behaviour.
If he stirs up an emotional aggressive response or fight, its going to be a sign of weakness. He is welcome to try though at his own risk. But I wouldnt suggest it though. It aint my style.
Right now I'd say she probably has a slightly higher chance of leaving him emotional indifferent/unattached, compared to Redux.
That relationship is a ticking bomb. Hopefully Redux will make the most out of it while it lasts.
EDIT: Ultimatums are/can be super effective if you use them at the right time.
If he stirs up an emotional aggressive response or fight, its going to be a sign of weakness. He is welcome to try though at his own risk. But I wouldnt suggest it though. It aint my style.
Right now I'd say she probably has a slightly higher chance of leaving him emotional indifferent/unattached, compared to Redux.
That relationship is a ticking bomb. Hopefully Redux will make the most out of it while it lasts.
EDIT: Ultimatums are/can be super effective if you use them at the right time.
NihonTiger90
Member
So haven't posted an update in a bit, but here goes:
The girl I've been talking to mostly, and who I've been seeing on a semifrequent basis since February, has fallen into an antisocial pattern. She's become a bit harder to get a hold of, though I just saw her two weeks ago (we live an hour or two away from each other, but have met up several times by now) and I'm going to see her again toward the end of the month, but I'm wondering if this whole social-antisocial cycle she says she sometimes goes through is going to eventually change or if I should be prepared to simply cut my losses and move on. I would rather not as she is a wonderful and fun girl, and I'm happy to give her space, but you know ... I guess I worry that I don't matter anymore.
There's also a second one from OKC I've been chatting with. Big time into photography and the arts, writing, and such, is nice. She seems nice enough ... but I checked out some of her question responses, and she seems to be totally against being around anyone who has any sort of geeky hobbies, becuase they're all flat-out "No" responses. It's odd because I am a bit up front of my more geeky hobbies on my profile, but I'm not sure if I should just see what happens or bail out, assuming if she finds out I'm a gamer and collector that she'll bail first.
The girl I've been talking to mostly, and who I've been seeing on a semifrequent basis since February, has fallen into an antisocial pattern. She's become a bit harder to get a hold of, though I just saw her two weeks ago (we live an hour or two away from each other, but have met up several times by now) and I'm going to see her again toward the end of the month, but I'm wondering if this whole social-antisocial cycle she says she sometimes goes through is going to eventually change or if I should be prepared to simply cut my losses and move on. I would rather not as she is a wonderful and fun girl, and I'm happy to give her space, but you know ... I guess I worry that I don't matter anymore.
There's also a second one from OKC I've been chatting with. Big time into photography and the arts, writing, and such, is nice. She seems nice enough ... but I checked out some of her question responses, and she seems to be totally against being around anyone who has any sort of geeky hobbies, becuase they're all flat-out "No" responses. It's odd because I am a bit up front of my more geeky hobbies on my profile, but I'm not sure if I should just see what happens or bail out, assuming if she finds out I'm a gamer and collector that she'll bail first.
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