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[The Antitype]

Damnit, screwed up with a girl on POF.

We had a meet planned on Monday, and she texts me Sunday afternoon to cancel, saying she has to pet-sit her sister's dog.

I'm a cynical guy, so I'm thinking 'Wow, that sounds like bullshit'. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and said 'ok, get back to me by tonight with another time to meet'. She says sure thing.

In my experience, if a girl immediately offers up a make-up time, then the flake was legit. If not, she's bullshitting and either psyched herself out, or just lost interest (or got interested by another dude, and is putting you on the backburner for him).

I do my own shit, end up crashing. Check my phone the next morning, nothing. Ok, now I'm a little pissed. I message her while I'm at work, saying something like 'Hey card-shark, still waiting on that make-up date. My schedule is filling up quick.' I call her card-shark cause she's the only girl I know who [claims to] go to Vegas to gamble, not to party.

10 hours later, back home from work after a LONG fucking day (and I think that had something to do with it), still nothing, and then I get testy.

"Nothing more attractive than a girl who flakes at the last minute and then goes incommunicado. Classy."

That gets a response, she's insulted, yada yada, she says I'm a 'decent guy' but she doesn't think we're a match anymore.

I tell her that it's hard to find a 'decent guy' who's willing to have his time disrespected, so maybe she should lower her standards to sub-par.

That's where we left off. She hasn't blocked me, I still have her number, and I removed her on Facebook, not the other way around (which was a hilariously pointless thing to do but it felt important at the time).

I'm thinking I'll just let this blow over for a week or so, then come back with a cute message to test the waters. Just annoying, cause I actually thought we had good rapport, and she's exactly my type. Pretty brunette who can't own enough stilettos.

Second from the right in black:

http://pics.pof.com/dating/99/15/tx3oa2josk_181202967.jpg

Ideas for what to come back with in a week or two?

 

[Entropia]

Damnit, screwed up with a girl on POF.

We had a meet planned on Monday, and she texts me Sunday afternoon to cancel, saying she has to pet-sit her sister's dog.

I'm a cynical guy, so I'm thinking 'Wow, that sounds like bullshit'. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and said 'ok, get back to me by tonight with another time to meet'. She says sure thing.

In my experience, if a girl immediately offers up a make-up time, then the flake was legit. If not, she's bullshitting and either psyched herself out, or just lost interest (or got interested by another dude, and is putting you on the backburner for him).

Yeah this is a huge problem with meeting a girl on the sites, so you gotta atleast give them the benefit of the doubt one time when they have to reschedule.

 

[~Kinggi~]

You came off sounding like a dick in most of your messages. I can see why she suddenly decided you weren't for her. I'd be interested to see if she ends up changing her mind after that.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Damnit, screwed up with a girl on POF.

We had a meet planned on Monday, and she texts me Sunday afternoon to cancel, saying she has to pet-sit her sister's dog.

I'm a cynical guy, so I'm thinking 'Wow, that sounds like bullshit'. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and said 'ok, get back to me by tonight with another time to meet'. She says sure thing.

In my experience, if a girl immediately offers up a make-up time, then the flake was legit. If not, she's bullshitting and either psyched herself out, or just lost interest (or got interested by another dude, and is putting you on the backburner for him).

I do my own shit, end up crashing. Check my phone the next morning, nothing. Ok, now I'm a little pissed. I message her while I'm at work, saying something like 'Hey card-shark, still waiting on that make-up date. My schedule is filling up quick.'

10 hours later, back home from work after a LONG fucking day (and I think that had something to do with it), still nothing, and then I get testy.

"Nothing more attractive than a girl who flakes at the last minute and then goes incommunicado. Classy."

That gets a response, she's insulted, yada yada, she says I'm a 'decent guy' but she doesn't think we're a match anymore.

I tell her that it's hard to find a 'decent guy' who's willing to have his time disrespected, so maybe she should lower her standards to sub-par.

That's where we left off. She hasn't blocked me, I still have her number, and I removed her on Facebook, not the other way around (which was a hilariously pointless thing to do but it felt important at the time).

I'm thinking I'll just let this blow over for a week or so, then come back with a cute message to test the waters. Just annoying, cause I actually thought we had good rapport, and she's exactly my type. Pretty brunette who can't own enough stilettos.

Second from the right in black:

http://pics.pof.com/dating/99/15/tx3oa2josk_181202967.jpg

Ideas for what to come back with in a week or two?

Yeah wait a week or two and report back to us with the hilarity that ensues. Ultimately, I think you ruined any chances you had of being with her and I would be surprised if she wants to remain friends. :/

 

[FO-totality]

You came off sounding like a dick in most of your messages. I can see why she suddenly decided you weren't for her. I'd be interested to see if she ends up changing her mind after that.

I think I he only came off at that on the third one. The first one was polite, the second was some playful prodding, and the third is just frustation.

I can at least admire he stood up and didn't just take it or let it slide.

 

[The Antitype]

Yeah wait a week or two and report back to us with the hilarity that ensues. Ultimately, I think you ruined any chances you had of being with her and I would be surprised if she wants to remain friends. :/

I'll report back. If it doesn't happen, so be it. It's frustrating to lose out on somebody that is exactly what you're looking for. But she's hardly the only pretty brunette in Vancouver with a penchant for stilettos.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Leeness if you were in Iowa I'd take you out for coffee.

Anyways, I'm not doing so hot in the dating department per usual. Even worse, a few more friends have left town (I live in my college town, I'm 26) and I pretty much only have my married best friend left in town, and they don't go out at all. I'm finding it really hard to meet new people, and even harder to meet a woman that takes an interest in me.

Do I just head out to coffee shops and do some web surfing on the weekends and see who I can meet there? Just not much going for me. It's a college town, but most of the people my age have moved away and I have no interaction with college girls.

 

[Devolution]

I'll report back. If it doesn't happen, so be it. It's frustrating to lose out on somebody that is exactly what you're looking for. But she's hardly the only pretty brunette in Vancouver with a penchant for stilettos.

You weren't alpha enough sorry.

 

[Log4Girlz]

You weren't alpha enough sorry.

He needs to get a perm.

 

[The Antitype]

You weren't alpha enough sorry.

True.

An alpha would have had 4 other girls on speed-dial already, so not hearing back from one would have been a chance to just dick another.

Soon enough. I'm in the learning phase.

 

[IamMattFox]

He needs to get a perm.

Does this really work?

 

[ManDudeChild]

I'll report back. If it doesn't happen, so be it. It's frustrating to lose out on somebody that is exactly what you're looking for. But she's hardly the only pretty brunette in Vancouver with a penchant for stilettos.

That's the spirit. If you'll excuse the wording, there are plenty of fish in the sea ... or so to speak.

At any rate, I've been where you are. Imo, if you at least establish some sort of rapport (even a little back and forth), the least a person (male or female) can do is be up front and not try to ignore. From your message it appears she only responded when you called her out and otherwise, likely would have just ignored you completely.

 

[bjb]

That one in the blue can get it. Black dress? Not so much. Looks quite old in fact - early/mid thirties maybe?

 

[Almond]

I don't know if anyone remembers me from a few pages back, but I went ahead and made an Okcupid profile, just to see what I'd get. I think I've looked around through all the guys in my area and haven't found a single one. I've gotten 5 messages too, but nothing there either. I don't think I'm too picky.

I don't plan on meeting anyone there, but I don't think this place would work out for me anyways.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I don't know if anyone remembers me from a few pages back, but I went ahead and made an Okcupid profile, just to see what I'd get. I think I've looked around through all the guys in my area and haven't found a single one. I've gotten 5 messages too, but nothing there either. I don't think I'm too picky.

I don't plan on meeting anyone there, but I don't think this place would work out for me anyways.

I remember you. Have you ever posted pics here? I don't remember a face.

 

[bjb]

I don't know if anyone remembers me from a few pages back, but I went ahead and made an Okcupid profile, just to see what I'd get. I think I've looked around through all the guys in my area and haven't found a single one. I've gotten 5 messages too, but nothing there either. I don't think I'm too picky.

I don't plan on meeting anyone there, but I don't think this place would work out for me anyways.

You say you're not picky, but you come off as really pessimistic - insinuating that no matter what, it wouldn't work out to begin with.

My advice would be stop being so negative and keep your head up. The site isn't a guarantee for anything, just an outlet for people to try and find happiness.

 

[Entropia]

I don't know if anyone remembers me from a few pages back, but I went ahead and made an Okcupid profile, just to see what I'd get. I think I've looked around through all the guys in my area and haven't found a single one. I've gotten 5 messages too, but nothing there either. I don't think I'm too picky.

I don't plan on meeting anyone there, but I don't think this place would work out for me anyways.

You'll be more apt to get a message as a girl (I assume you are, sorry if you aren't!)

You have to be on the hunt for the guys, and yeah, sometimes there just really aren't any interesting ones locally. :\

 

[Unicorn]

Just when I thought things were starting to look up...

I sprain my ankle at work. Now I can't walk and have no idea if I'll be able to goto work tomorrow. My ex has the ibuprofin with her (for cramps and shit) and my health, dental, etc. insurance renewal paperwork is due tomorrow.

Bless the universe.

 

[bjb]

Just when I thought things were starting to look up...

I sprain my ankle at work. Now I can't walk and have no idea if I'll be able to goto work tomorrow. My ex has the ibuprofin with her (for cramps and shit) and my health, dental, etc. insurance renewal paperwork is due tomorrow.

Bless the universe.

Blame your employer? Workmans comp.

 

[Almond]

I remember you. Have you ever posted pics here? I don't remember a face.

I posted a pic in the Post Your Pic thread for about 30 minutes then took it down. I feel bad posting in there though, seeing all the pretty female posters, including Leeness.

You say you're not picky, but you come off as really pessimistic - insinuating that no matter what, it wouldn't work out to begin with.

My advice would be stop being so negative and keep your head up. The site isn't a guarantee for anything, just an outlet for people to try and find happiness.

I'll keep it up and maybe browse it again, but I'm not expecting much.

You'll be more apt to get a message as a girl (I assume you are, sorry if you aren't!)

You have to be on the hunt for the guys, and yeah, sometimes there just really aren't any interesting ones locally. :\

I am.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

I'm curious what this thread would do if a poster comes in complaining of being super unattractive and then posts a pic and it turns out he or she actually is super unattractive.

What is the response at that point?

 

[Unicorn]

Blame your employer? Workmans comp.

I'm afraid that would put me in bad favor... also, I didn't file an incident report because it didn't start getting bad until I sat in my car for 40 minutes on the way home. It has been elevated on and off for hours now, so hopefully it improves by tomorrow.

OKC is still empty. One super attractive girl thanked me calling out spelling errors in her bio (something that bothers her - spelling errors) but now I don't know how to follow up

 

[bjb]

I'm curious what this thread would do if a poster comes in complaining of being super unattractive and then posts a pic and it turns out he or she actually is super unattractive.

What is the response at that point?

Someone would have to be honest with them. To let them know to start washing their face, lose weight, or otherwise make significant changes.

Sounds harsh right? I agree, but then again - what the hell is the point (outside of common courtesy) to lie and give them false hope?

Not everyone is born beautiful. You can, however, put yourself into a position giving you the best -chance- to meet mr./mrs. right.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Someone would have to be honest with them. To let them know to start washing their face, lose weight, or otherwise make significant changes.

Sounds harsh right? I agree, but then again - what the hell is the point (outside of common courtesy) to lie and give them false hope?

Not everyone is born beautiful. You can, however, put yourself into a position giving you the best -chance- to meet mr./mrs. right.

If that's applicable. Some people are just screwed from the start.

 

[luckyboyceo]

don't say anything to them. let them compete over you when/if they find out.

Only one thing to do...threesome.

I don't see any issue. Play it normally. You have no idea who you'll like better until you go on a day anyways. They won't develop any hostile feelings anyways. Just go out with each of them.

Thanks, guys. I think that's what I'll do. I imagine I'll have a better idea of where I'm going with both situations after both dates. Will report back.

 

[bjb]

If that's applicable. Some people are just screwed from the start.

I disagree. Perhaps there's a certain (small) percentage of people who have a particular disability or something abnormally wrong with them where that might apply.

Otherwise as long as you have confidence in yourself, and generally keep up with your appearance - you'll be fine.

 

[Oblivion]

Damnit, screwed up with a girl on POF.

We had a meet planned on Monday, and she texts me Sunday afternoon to cancel, saying she has to pet-sit her sister's dog.

I'm a cynical guy, so I'm thinking 'Wow, that sounds like bullshit'. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and said 'ok, get back to me by tonight with another time to meet'. She says sure thing.

In my experience, if a girl immediately offers up a make-up time, then the flake was legit. If not, she's bullshitting and either psyched herself out, or just lost interest (or got interested by another dude, and is putting you on the backburner for him).

I do my own shit, end up crashing. Check my phone the next morning, nothing. Ok, now I'm a little pissed. I message her while I'm at work, saying something like 'Hey card-shark, still waiting on that make-up date. My schedule is filling up quick.' I call her card-shark cause she's the only girl I know who [claims to] go to Vegas to gamble, not to party.

10 hours later, back home from work after a LONG fucking day (and I think that had something to do with it), still nothing, and then I get testy.

"Nothing more attractive than a girl who flakes at the last minute and then goes incommunicado. Classy."

That gets a response, she's insulted, yada yada, she says I'm a 'decent guy' but she doesn't think we're a match anymore.

I tell her that it's hard to find a 'decent guy' who's willing to have his time disrespected, so maybe she should lower her standards to sub-par.

That's where we left off. She hasn't blocked me, I still have her number, and I removed her on Facebook, not the other way around (which was a hilariously pointless thing to do but it felt important at the time).

I'm thinking I'll just let this blow over for a week or so, then come back with a cute message to test the waters. Just annoying, cause I actually thought we had good rapport, and she's exactly my type. Pretty brunette who can't own enough stilettos.

Second from the right in black:

http://pics.pof.com/dating/99/15/tx3oa2josk_181202967.jpg

Ideas for what to come back with in a week or two?

Damn, she's pretty smokin. Hope you're able to salvage this potential relationship.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I posted a pic in the Post Your Pic thread for about 30 minutes then took it down. I feel bad posting in there though, seeing all the pretty female posters, including Leeness.



I'll keep it up and maybe browse it again, but I'm not expecting much.



I am.

Have you posted your profile? Maybe we can take a look at what you have written?

 

[NateDrake]

I started OKC last week just as a fun social experiment to see what kind of people I'd get and as a method of helping my confidence. My page went live 5 days ago and I've received tons of messages from girls asking for meetups and have held a number of conversations via the chat service. Went on a date with one of the girls tonight, great gal, great conversations, and connection.

Have a number of future meetings planned with some other girls. For this being more first step into online dating I'm stunned by the overall positive response thus far.

 

[bjb]

I started OKC last week just as a fun social experiment to see what kind of people I'd get and as a method of helping my confidence. My page went live 5 days ago and I've received tons of messages from girls asking for meetups and have held a number of conversations via the chat service. Went on a date with one of the girls tonight, great gal, great conversations, and connection.

Have a number of future meetings planned with some other girls. For this being more first step into online dating I'm stunned by the overall positive response thus far.

Damn son you must be killing them with dem photos.

 

[LProtag]

I'm really bad at OKC and think I might be judging everyone way to harshly on appearance, I only find a few girls there attractive.

Though I have gotten some messages from girls who I just haven't responded to because, well, I'm just straight away not interested. I kinda feel like a dick for not saying anything. But then I realize all the messages I'm sending aren't getting responses either. Haha. Maybe I should lower my standards?

Fuck it, here's my profile.
Please judge me.

 

[NateDrake]

Damn son you must be killing them with dem photos.

Only have one photo that is a number of years old.

 

[bjb]

I'm really bad at OKC and think I might be judging everyone way to harshly on appearance, I only find a few girls there attractive.

Though I have gotten some messages from girls who I just haven't responded to because, well, I'm just straight away not interested. I kinda feel like a dick for not saying anything. But then I realize all the messages I'm sending aren't getting responses either. Haha. Maybe I should lower my standards?

Fuck it, here's my profile.
Please judge me.

Your profile seems fine. I'd say you look better with glasses off, so perhaps change your first pic and add a bit more variety to the pictures all together.

Edit: I'd suggest changing this line - "I can go from being animated and outspoken about something to shy and quiet rather quickly, depending on the situation.". While that may be true, some girls may take that the wrong way. I'd suggest either not using it, or re-writing to show more self-confidence.

 

[Ghost_Protocol]

Word to the wise: "So how do you feel about abortion?" is not a ironic/clever/funny way to break the ice. lol. it will not work on everyone

 

[Devolution]

Word to the wise: "So how do you feel about abortion?" is not a ironic/clever/funny way to break the ice. lol. it will not work on everyone

It probably won't be a good subject to bring up period.

 

[LProtag]

Your profile seems fine. I'd say you look better with glasses off, so perhaps change your first pic and add a bit more variety to the pictures all together.

Yeah I realized the two pictures of my face kinda look like the same pose. I'm terribly photogenic though, so those are honestly the best I have. The one without glasses is like 3 years old, haha.

 

[NateDrake]

Yeah I realized the two pictures of my face kinda look like the same pose. I'm terribly photogenic though, so those are honestly the best I have. The one without glasses is like 3 years old, haha.

I'm not photogenic either. Which is why I use a photo from a few yrs ago that I feel is good enough for OKC.

 

[ThanksVision]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

 

[The Antitype]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

Is it her first time too?

If it is, don't even worry about it. You could put Don Juan in bed with her, she'd still be an awkward mess.

If it's not her first time, then maybe ONE J/O session. Depends on your sex-drive and refractory period.

 

[NateDrake]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

It'll be more special if you don't do anything. Condom use will take some of the stimulation away. J/O once and you should be good to go for a decent length of time.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

I always swore I would be a minute man...yeah no, I take forever to come, even on my first time. I can come in like 20 seconds flat if I J/O yet sex? Last forever.

 

[EviLore]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

A few times? :lol

Remember that you can use all that energy to go a few times with her instead of with your hand right before. Be careful you don't completely kill your sex drive beforehand and then have the other sort of problem, or maybe just an outright dull first experience.

Guys have all sorts of durations their first time, sometimes a few thrusts, sometimes they can't even finish after an hour. The most important thing is to be comfortable and relaxed and focus on being manly and pleasing her.

Be clean and fresh down below (and everywhere else) and trim your pubes if you haven't, btw. Makes it much more pleasant for your partner.

 

[Unicorn]

Guys I've got a little question. I might lose my big V card on Thursday and I want to ensure I last a little while (I want to please her as well obv). Should I hit the J/O sesh a few times before just to make sure I last a while? I don't want to last like a minute, haha. Thanks for any advice.

When you feel the point of no return pinch the bottom of your shaft, right by your sack. Like, forefinger between balls and shaft and thumb above shaft. Squeeze and try and clench your BC (like stopping a stream of pee) until that "urge" subsides. Keep breathing constant, recollect and enter again.

Do kegels as your remember them (replace The Game with this new one).

 

[The Antitype]

I always swore I would be a minute man...yeah no, I take forever to come, even on my first time. I can come in like 20 seconds flat if I J/O yet sex? Last forever.

I take Paxil, and it causes delayed ejaculation. Jerking off can take up to 20 minutes, sex can take an hour. And that's like, full-bore, no thinking about baseball or start-stop or anything.

If I have a girlfriend, there are nights I just say 'fuck it, not happening tonight babe' and snuggle her to make her feel better about not getting me to orgasm. If it's a new girl or something, then I just keep going until it happens, cause the last thing I need is some girl walking away confused or dejected.

I long for quickies.

 

[ThanksVision]

Thanks for the advice; it's the first time for her as well. By "a few times" I meant twice, really. But yeah, I just want to make sure I please her as well. I think I'll be okay, I just know a lot of guys finish the deed within seconds for their first time, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to me.

 

[NateDrake]

I take Paxil, and it causes delayed ejaculation. Jerking off can take up to 20 minutes, sex can take an hour. And that's like, full-bore, no thinking about baseball or start-stop or anything.

If I have a girlfriend, there are nights I just say 'fuck it, not happening tonight babe' and snuggle her to make her feel better about not getting me to orgasm.

I long for quickies.

My biggest issue is I can't cannot finish from oral. Actually told a girl to stop because she wasn't going to get me to that point and she was offended. I thanked her for the effort.

 

[Unicorn]

I take Paxil, and it causes delayed ejaculation. Jerking off can take up to 20 minutes, sex can take an hour. And that's like, full-bore, no thinking about baseball or start-stop or anything.

If I have a girlfriend, there are nights I just say 'fuck it, not happening tonight babe' and snuggle her to make her feel better about not getting me to orgasm.

I long for quickies.

I'm working hard to get rid of my premature ejaculation problem. Subconciously I feel that's one reason my GF broke up with me. She couldn't orgasm (own problem herself, mentally blocking herself) and mine. We fought a couple times because she didn't want to work with me to help fix it (a red flag, yeah).

 

[FallingEdge]

My biggest issue is I can't cannot finish from oral. Actually told a girl to stop because she wasn't going to get me to that point and she was offended. I thanked her for the effort.

I'm like that as well. Can't nut from oral.

 

[Unicorn]

Thanks for the advice; it's the first time for her as well. By "a few times" I meant twice, really. But yeah, I just want to make sure I please her as well. I think I'll be okay, I just know a lot of guys finish the deed within seconds for their first time, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to me.

Honestly, look up some fingering and clit stimulation techniques and focus on foreplay as much as possible. Need her revved as possible. Don't need to go deep, just two knuckles in, palm up and rub that g spot bro. More wrist and elbow than fingers (fingers tire faster).

 

[Log4Girlz]

Thanks for the advice; it's the first time for her as well. By "a few times" I meant twice, really. But yeah, I just want to make sure I please her as well. I think I'll be okay, I just know a lot of guys finish the deed within seconds for their first time, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to me.

Eat her out first btw. Just do it. Pleasure her as much as possible.

Also, yeah I do stop and start most usually, but because I'm kinda older and can't maintain and erection like I used to haha. I've had nights where I wouldn't finish though. Next morning its always a gigantic orgasm though.

Edit: And yeah, I can't finish through oral either.