How long would it take to explain your ancestors to her and how much money do you have?
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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How long would it take to explain your ancestors to her and how much money do you have?
The sky isn't blue though, now is it?
Why this strong resistance to "fooling" yourself? I'm a living example of that working. By fooling myself into thinking I can get women, I get women, because I create my new life every moment I'm awake. Yeah, lying to yourself in the mirror, saying you're good looking when you're not, is technically fooling yourself. But once you accept that lie, it becomes the truth. In fact, I've been fooling myself for 25 years into thinking and truly believing that I can't attract women. That became my truth, didn't it? I'm reversing that lie by telling myself another one. It seems to me like you're in the same situation as I was except you don't want to lie to yourself even though you already are!Women don't want you because that's what you keep telling yourself is your truth! If you truly have run out of reasonable options, why not try the outrageous illogical ones instead? If something doesn't work, do the opposite!
Hey man, most everyone's been there, it's an awkward and foreign feeling and knowing where to start can be tough. Go with what's a bit on the comfortable side to start. The more you do this, the easier it gets, I promise. Pick one of your lady friends you find attractive or are interested in and want to spend more time with. Ask her out to the movies, lunch, a walk through the park, or hell, all three. And just chat/talk about life/anything you can think of or stuff you know she's interested in/things you have in common. That's it. No official "LETS MAKE IT A DATE" or anything like that. Show interest, be positive, and go from there. You just have to ask. And you may notice a weird look or response from some of the girls you ask that are familiar to you - that's okay - chances are they probably thought you were so uninterested in them for the longest time, your sudden interest may catch them off guard. That isn't a bad thing, just roll with it and see where it takes you.
The biggest thing is to get started. I firmly believe that if you have a good collection of lady friends(or even just a few) that you PROBABLY have an idea of one that MIGHT be interested/show interest in you. Go for it man.
and you can ask multiple girls out on various "hang outs" to get a feel for who's available because a bunch might be busy. Or if you're feeling brave, just ask one out on a date outright. Go with what you think will be best. It's all up to you man ....i need to get more money from my parents.
*looks down at exquisite duck a l'orange meal before him* I have bad news about your parents.
Hmm, somebody posted this Cracked article earlier. #5 seem to explain why my life turns crazy whenever I go out in my bright red jeans 
Case in point, that picture I posted and this last Saturday evening Similar things with my redish orange planeflyingintosunset.jpg shirt.
Case in point, that picture I posted and this last Saturday evening Similar things with my redish orange planeflyingintosunset.jpg shirt.You know what you must do now...become a superhero. You can thank me later.
The Antitype
Banned
Hint to all the ladies: If you are not interested in a guy, kissing him repeatedly throughout a date, making rough plans for the next weekend, saying 'text me' and then texting the guy later THAT NIGHT is not the way to get that message across.
Likewise, ignoring texts and blocking said guy on Facebook can come across as fucking crazy after the previous events, especially when there was NO INTERACTION between face-eating mode and passive-aggressive mode.
Just a heads up.
Bitches, man. *shakes head*
Likewise, ignoring texts and blocking said guy on Facebook can come across as fucking crazy after the previous events, especially when there was NO INTERACTION between face-eating mode and passive-aggressive mode.
Just a heads up.
Bitches, man. *shakes head*
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
The Antitype
Banned
On, the plus side, I am talking with that other chick again. The one I called out for flaking and going incommunicado. The following text worked to start up conversation again, and we're making plans for this Saturday.
You would not believe the shortage of classy, fashionable, witty women in this city. Kind of makes a guy feel like an idiot for misbehaving with a particularly cute one.
How are life, work, and Jimmy Choo treating you these days?
See if she manages to keep those plans this time.
You would not believe the shortage of classy, fashionable, witty women in this city. Kind of makes a guy feel like an idiot for misbehaving with a particularly cute one.
How are life, work, and Jimmy Choo treating you these days?
See if she manages to keep those plans this time.
On, the plus side, I am talking with that other chick again. The one I called out for flaking and going incommunicado. The following text worked to start up conversation again, and we're making plans for this Saturday.
You would not believe the shortage of classy, fashionable, witty women in this city. Kind of makes a guy feel like an idiot for misbehaving with a particularly cute one.
How are life, work, and Jimmy Choo treating you these days?
See if she manages to keep those plans this time.
If she doesn't, you know what to do...post here on GAF ASAP.
The Antitype
Banned
Why not. If she doesn't show up, I'll probably end up hanging out at home anyway.
Hello, hello, baby;
You called, I can't hear a thing.
I have got no service
in the club, you see, see
Wha-Wha-What did you say?
Oh, you're breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I'm kinda busy.
K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy.
Hello GAF! I haven't posted in this thread before, but I just wanted to share some of the things that has happened to me lately.
After about three years of a steady relationship, I ended it (rare for me) on grounds of that the relationship wasn't a real relationship any more.
I did everything for this girl, helped her get a better job, better life, better friends, set her up, everything. About a couple months ago she decided that her friends (which she appropriated from my friends) were more important than our relationship. She would frequently avoid talking to me first about her problems, disappear for days on end over at their houses, and just generally treat me as if I was a guy, not her guy. So I cut her loose before it destroyed my heart too hard.
I'm still currently in the mix of settling things after the break up (the worst part), but there's a silver lining in the cloud - I tried to deal with the situation before I broke it off by talking to one of my other friends, who was this girl I met online. She gave me advice after we started talking about how to keep my ex, but other people told me not to give the ex a chance because she was already gone. I decided that I could either fight for her or just let it go, and I chose the latter, as it felt like it was already over anyway.
After starting to talk more with the girl, I soon discovered that we shared an amazing amount of things in common, not the least being we think exactly the same how relationships should be and how love should be. After that, I went to visit her (she lives nearby) and we hit it off. She is everything I always wanted in a woman that the previous ex could never be, and never was now that I thought about it.
Oh, and the ex was bipolar. She thought being off her medication helped her out, but I think it just made things worse. I asked the new girl right off the bat if she was bipolar, haha. She politely said no.
Long winded post I'm sure, but it's worth a read.
After about three years of a steady relationship, I ended it (rare for me) on grounds of that the relationship wasn't a real relationship any more.
I did everything for this girl, helped her get a better job, better life, better friends, set her up, everything. About a couple months ago she decided that her friends (which she appropriated from my friends) were more important than our relationship. She would frequently avoid talking to me first about her problems, disappear for days on end over at their houses, and just generally treat me as if I was a guy, not her guy. So I cut her loose before it destroyed my heart too hard.
I'm still currently in the mix of settling things after the break up (the worst part), but there's a silver lining in the cloud - I tried to deal with the situation before I broke it off by talking to one of my other friends, who was this girl I met online. She gave me advice after we started talking about how to keep my ex, but other people told me not to give the ex a chance because she was already gone. I decided that I could either fight for her or just let it go, and I chose the latter, as it felt like it was already over anyway.
After starting to talk more with the girl, I soon discovered that we shared an amazing amount of things in common, not the least being we think exactly the same how relationships should be and how love should be. After that, I went to visit her (she lives nearby) and we hit it off. She is everything I always wanted in a woman that the previous ex could never be, and never was now that I thought about it.
Oh, and the ex was bipolar. She thought being off her medication helped her out, but I think it just made things worse. I asked the new girl right off the bat if she was bipolar, haha. She politely said no.
Long winded post I'm sure, but it's worth a read.
Hello GAF! I haven't posted in this thread before, but I just wanted to share some of the things that has happened to me lately.
After about three years of a steady relationship, I ended it (rare for me) on grounds of that the relationship wasn't a real relationship any more.
I did everything for this girl, helped her get a better job, better life, better friends, set her up, everything. About a couple months ago she decided that her friends (which she appropriated from my friends) were more important than our relationship. She would frequently avoid talking to me first about her problems, disappear for days on end over at their houses, and just generally treat me as if I was a guy, not her guy. So I cut her loose before it destroyed my heart too hard.
I'm still currently in the mix of settling things after the break up (the worst part), but there's a silver lining in the cloud - I tried to deal with the situation before I broke it off by talking to one of my other friends, who was this girl I met online. She gave me advice after we started talking about how to keep my ex, but other people told me not to give the ex a chance because she was already gone. I decided that I could either fight for her or just let it go, and I chose the latter, as it felt like it was already over anyway.
After starting to talk more with the girl, I soon discovered that we shared an amazing amount of things in common, not the least being we think exactly the same how relationships should be and how love should be. After that, I went to visit her (she lives nearby) and we hit it off. She is everything I always wanted in a woman that the previous ex could never be, and never was now that I thought about it.
Oh, and the ex was bipolar. She thought being off her medication helped her out, but I think it just made things worse. I asked the new girl right off the bat if she was bipolar, haha. She politely said no.
Long winded post I'm sure, but it's worth a read.
Ask for her hand in marriage.
Do you always move this fast? Lol
I'm lonely.
Well you need to find a good beaver.
Sounds like I made the question right at the beginning, I know, but she was already well informed with my previous situation, so she knew the question was coming I think, and thought it was funny.
Zomba13
Member
This. FUCKING This. Why do so many girls (and maybe guys, I dunno, never dated one) think this sort of shit is ok?
I wouldn't last long with a good one.
The Antitype
Banned
Honestly, it's just random enough to spark a smile. And that's a good start. I might experiment with it.
It's very random, and a lot of women like randomness. It means that situations won't be with you the exact same way every time. You'll do different things to make life interesting.
At least I think that's how they think.
MadSkillzBahamut
Member
This has probably been brought up tons of times - but im not in the position to read a 200 page thread from start to finish:
Why exactly are the thread guidelines to not say 'cunt', yet it does not mention any sort of regulation on 'dick' - surely they you could argue that they are offensive in exactly the same way: genitalia as an insult.
I guess you could argue some patriarchy nonsense but if we are acting in the sense of gender equality then shouldn't we give everyone the exact same regulations, rather than just giving one side all the privileges in the world as a 'sorry'.
Sorry about giving a response that isn't really related to the purpose of the thread but this just bugged me.
Why exactly are the thread guidelines to not say 'cunt', yet it does not mention any sort of regulation on 'dick' - surely they you could argue that they are offensive in exactly the same way: genitalia as an insult.
I guess you could argue some patriarchy nonsense but if we are acting in the sense of gender equality then shouldn't we give everyone the exact same regulations, rather than just giving one side all the privileges in the world as a 'sorry'.
Sorry about giving a response that isn't really related to the purpose of the thread but this just bugged me.
Dick is someone's name.
Well shit. Started chatting with a new girl yesterday. Asked her out today. Now I'm doomed to decide on what to do, again... Normally that would be fine. First date= Get a drink somewhere. But this one expects something original, on a Sunday evening to boot. I'm seriously shit at the whole "deciding on what to do on a date" thing.
Just try to be funny. Original things have been done to death, she might be looking for that "life changing event" but you can't give it to her. Just be honest and fun.
Ever since the start of college (nearly 4 years ago now) I've always made sure to go out. The problem is since I barely socialised in my old school days, so it was all so new to me. My confidence was getting better during the first 2 years of college, but crumbled in my final year for a variety of reasons.You're making a lot of sense and you're having solid progress, I can tell. Not so long ago, you never went out in the first place, right?
The problem I have is my lack of outgoing friends, and my approach anxiety. As I've said before, my approach anxiety is almost like an instinctual deep routed fear of introducing myself. It's obviously caused by my OCD, and although the approach anxiety is getting a bit better in some respects, it's the biggest issue I need to amend.
At the moment things are too routine, and my friends simply don't understand the issues I'm going through. For them approaching anyone isn't that hard, but for me it's attempting to conquer Everest. Perhaps I need a wingman or something?
Hell, even just introducing myself and speaking to girls (without any intentions) would be a huge step for me.I will say my attitude with life is a bit more positive now, and I'm not sure what exactly started it (given how I'm still unemployed a year after college), but it strangely coincided with what happened the other week... I'm generally feeling a bit more positive about my future, and I'm mentally starting to revert back to how I was in 2010 (I was at my most confident, but even then it wasn't anything special). Despite this I do deeply regret the past, and I miss college along with my adolescence (both of which I almost feel like I've missed out on).
Some solid advice, thanks very much dude!As for having something to say, talk about WHATEVER. An example from my evening is a group of three girls. We were having a silly open sets competition (which I'm against with all my heart) and we approached this group with the honest intent of asking for a light. After getting said light from one of the girls, we kept the conversation going by simply asking them questions. Not the regular stuff mind you, but about how their night was going, whether or not they were having fun tonight, what did they do last night (Midsummer's eve, so valid question) and so on. From there it was easy to keep it going since they kept giving us new material to ask about or tease them for. What Brent says is so true, keep it light and fun, be a conduit for them to escape from their boring normal lives. Everything below happened because of this.
In said group, there was this very attractive and tall semi blonde girl (20 years old, we found out). We discovered that we were both interested in her but she took a liking to me apparently so I kept the conversation going about all kinds of things. It's honestly a blur right now because I ended up hanging out with her for at least two hours. We ended up on the dancefloor together and things turned sexual pretty fast so I knew I could spin her around to face me so I could kiss her. Up until then, I had no real clue whether or not she was single or interested in me but since we kept kissing for the rest of the night, I suppose she liked it xD 20 minutes to closing, she drops the bomb though. She had already arranged for a lift home so she couldn't come home with me. I didn't mind at all, but that was apparently code talk for hooking up on the club toilet instead. So we did, and it was awful :lol Achievement unlocked I guess but geez, public toilet with less than 2 square meters of space and lots of drunks outside wondering wtf was going on is not optimal xD So the chances of ever hearing from her again feel minimal to be honest. But alas, I'm not bothered by it right now
Edit: I have to mention, on Thursday I got to hear the Skrillex remix of Avicii's Levels, which is a rare occasion downtown. And tonight I got to hear both The Reptile Mortal Kombat remix and First of the Year. I was ecstatic!
I just want to have a bit of fun like you're having, but I just hope I get the chance to.
Oh and congrats.
Uh huh, I'm going to post pics of my high school grad on neogaf, that can't possibly go badly.
I wish I could lie to myself more easily. I don't think I can. I'm no optimist, and I usually know that if something is too good to be true, then it likely isn't true. I never could lie to myself and pretend that I was attractive. I just don't understand how deceiving yourself into believing something that you know deep down is false is so easy to some people.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
You have to believe in yourself. Have the will to act. All this information is meaningless if you don't have the will to act.
Crawl out of that hole, buddy.
You have to believe in yourself. Have the will to act. All this information is meaningless if you don't have the will to act.
Crawl out of that hole, buddy.
I know you are right, but it's harder to do it than you think. My self-efficacy isn't exactly high, so I'm not sure where that's going to go once I'm rejected officially for the first several times in a row.
IamMattFox
Member
Racquetball.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Another person told me I have a really weird voice. I wish people would stop pointing out my faults, do they think I don't notice them myself?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Should have said...
"I'm shooting for a high-paying career in voice acting. Think I can pull it off?"
Turn it around, man.
Looks like the cashier I had a crush on, and was hoping to ask out, left her job recently. I waited way too long and now she's gone. Oh well, the girl who replaced her is pretty damn hot too. I swear, the dude in charge of employment at this grocery store is a pervert--most of the employees are female and 80% of them are cute/hot. This man is a true hero.
So, I'm moving to Vancouver in a couple of weeks. Think there's a chance of meeting a woman there that's not all about drinking alcohol, or is it a fairly heavy drinking city?
I've met a couple of people I liked, but they drank so much that I knew it just wasn't going to work, so we went our separate ways.
I've met a couple of people I liked, but they drank so much that I knew it just wasn't going to work, so we went our separate ways.
I don't know much about OCD's but they can be fixed, right? Seems like that's the main source for most of your perceived problems and it's always better to treat the disease instead of the symptoms, you know?Ever since the start of college (nearly 4 years ago now) I've always made sure to go out. The problem is since I barely socialised in my old school days, so it was all so new to me. My confidence was getting better during the first 2 years of college, but crumbled in my final year for a variety of reasons.
The problem I have is my lack of outgoing friends, and my approach anxiety. As I've said before, my approach anxiety is almost like an instinctual deep routed fear of introducing myself. It's obviously caused by my OCD, and although the approach anxiety is getting a bit better in some respects, it's the biggest issue I need to amend.
At the moment things are too routine, and my friends simply don't understand the issues I'm going through. For them approaching anyone isn't that hard, but for me it's attempting to conquer Everest. Perhaps I need a wingman or something?
I will say my attitude with life is a bit more positive now, and I'm not sure what exactly started it (given how I'm still unemployed a year after college), but it strangely coincided with what happened the other week... I'm generally feeling a bit more positive about my future, and I'm mentally starting to revert back to how I was in 2010 (I was at my most confident, but even then it wasn't anything special). Despite this I do deeply regret the past, and I miss college along with my adolescence (both of which I almost feel like I've missed out on).
Some solid advice, thanks very much dude!
I just want to have a bit of fun like you're having, but I just hope I get the chance to.
Oh and congrats.
I think it's clear from what you write that progress is being made. Yeah, it's maybe slow, but so what? I'm know how you feel about the past, I've been there too. I was as introverted as anyone can be, it feels like, during all my teenage years and I missed out on basically everything that entails.This!
Turn it into something positive. Or something like "Did you just admit you think my voice is hot?" in a joking manner. Especially entertaining if it was a guy, to be honest "Listen, I'm not gay, but you're making me a bit curious ", that'll probably make sure it doesn't happen again, right?There are over 603000 people living in Vancouver, I'm sure some of them don't drink alcohol
You have to believe in yourself. Have the will to act. All this information is meaningless if you don't have the will to act.
Crawl out of that hole, buddy.
127 hours is a great film
Omegasquash
Member
I don't know whether to quote Tyrion Lannister or not, here...
If you find that you're trying the same thing over and over and it's not working, make changes. They can be major or minor, depending on what you notice works or not. Give yourself confidence practice too. For example, I've told a friend that takes the train or bus in to work to just sit next to the prettiest gal on the train. Don't ogle, don't stare, just do your thing. Crosswords or music or reading the paper. Whatever. Just do it. Associate yourself with people you want to be near, and eventually you'll begin to BE associated with those people.
Because yeah, they're pretty. You're just there on the train, doing your thing.
Whether that commute style pick up fits your day, I don't know, but the whole thing is don't be shy, don't be too self aware, just be you and don't give a fuck about them. It's all about you.
You're dismissing what would be the best option for you if you can't work up the courage to ask a girl out in person. Hell, I've never succeeded asking a girl out in person. With online dating, I can be a lot more open with who I am. Just use a good picture and you won't be fooling anyone.
electricshake
Member
How do you know she doesn't feel the same way you do? Maybe she feels like she isn't attractive because guys like you aren't asking her out. Having low self esteem isn't something you guys have a monopoly on you know. I feel crappy about the way I look all the time - sometimes I just want someone to give me a hug and tell me they think I'm beautiful. But you know what, if I just wallow in self pity and do nothing it's not going to happen; it won't magically fall into my lap. Why not give online dating a go? What do you have to lose? You might meet someone you really like.
I can't stress this enough, but looks aren't everything. You can be attractive without being 'good looking'. There are plenty of things women find attractive - being confident, or funny, or smart, or in shape. This is not an exhaustive list, because everyone is different. I'm not saying you need to be all of these things either, you just need to be comfortable with who you are. If you can't accept yourself why should others?
I've tried that before. I've tried changing things. Fuck, that's one of the reasons I started working out. I thought I may have been too skinny or something, so I thought that once I put some muscle on things would be different. Maybe if I applied myself at school and focused on that things would be different. Maybe if I focused on myself things would be different. Maybe things would be different.
I've actually done this before if I'm on the bus if there's not like a huge bunch of seats open. I never really look at them or ogle, because I know that it would probably be creepy as fuck to them.
I'm not really trying to dismiss anything, I'm just not really sure I'd be comfortable doing it. As for the picture, I have a really big nose, and unless I'd take a picture of my profile as well, I'd feel like I would be trying to fool people. It doesn't look so bad head-on I guess, definitely not good, but when it's from the side it's almost laughably big, I think.
Come on, there's a difference. There's a difference between an attractive looking person and an ugly one. I know that there's no interest there. I'm sure there are plenty of good looking dudes asking her out, so she doesn't need a schlub doing the same. I know that she doesn't have the same feelings.
Looks aren't everything I guess, but the sure do affect a hell of a lot. I've tried changing things, I've tried to make myself better, but nothing works. I just can't be comfortable with myself or accept myself, because I don't really like myself. I don't know if there's really anything to do about that.
Hey Guru-GAF, I need a little bit of help!
So I met a girl on Saturday and we spent a few hours talking (nothing really physical). I wasn't able to really engage all that well on Saturday because I have an exam on Thursday which I want to spend all my time focusing on, not to mention I was involved with another girl at the time. Things with the other girl have fallen through leaving me single. I want to ask the girl I met on Saturday out but don't really know how.
Reasons being that nothing physical happened and I only managed to get her facebook, no number so any proposition is going to pretty much be a cold one, (as opposed to a warm one where I would be talking to her for a bit before the proposition). My question is, how best to do it?
My thought process led me into two major possibilities but I'm very much open to suggestions, hell, that's why I'm here.
1. I ask her out to coffee with a single message along the lines of 'hey, now that my exams are through, coffee on sunday? cafe bliss? 12pm? done.'
2. Ask her to an event on sunday night that a mutual friend is hosting at a local pub. The only issues that may arise is that her old flame will be there too (he's the guy who introduced me) or that you know it turns out to be a pretty low energy party (quite possible) with no real drinking and just a bunch of people sitting around a table.
Either way I'm finding it difficult to figure out how to escalate if things do start to heat up. At Coffee I have the problem that we're both on the opposite ends of a table simply chatting while at the pub, god knows.
So I met a girl on Saturday and we spent a few hours talking (nothing really physical). I wasn't able to really engage all that well on Saturday because I have an exam on Thursday which I want to spend all my time focusing on, not to mention I was involved with another girl at the time. Things with the other girl have fallen through leaving me single. I want to ask the girl I met on Saturday out but don't really know how.
Reasons being that nothing physical happened and I only managed to get her facebook, no number so any proposition is going to pretty much be a cold one, (as opposed to a warm one where I would be talking to her for a bit before the proposition). My question is, how best to do it?
My thought process led me into two major possibilities but I'm very much open to suggestions, hell, that's why I'm here.
1. I ask her out to coffee with a single message along the lines of 'hey, now that my exams are through, coffee on sunday? cafe bliss? 12pm? done.
' 2. Ask her to an event on sunday night that a mutual friend is hosting at a local pub. The only issues that may arise is that her old flame will be there too (he's the guy who introduced me) or that you know it turns out to be a pretty low energy party (quite possible) with no real drinking and just a bunch of people sitting around a table.
Either way I'm finding it difficult to figure out how to escalate if things do start to heat up. At Coffee I have the problem that we're both on the opposite ends of a table simply chatting while at the pub, god knows.
Omegasquash
Member
It sounds to me like you could benefit from a wingman, and also that you've got a big old hole to climb out of.
How did you feel when you sat down next to them? If you were paying attention to the fact like "OMG there's a cutie near me," then next time, try thinking about it as an associational thing, like "of course I associate with cuties. I'm in good shape and I'm crushing it at school."
BECAUSE YOU ARE.
Doesn't matter if you're trying to land a one-night stand or an SO...your confidence in yourself is key in this, and that's what needs to be built up. Clearly you're covering bases that lots of dudes don't, which gives you a leg up.
You need to be in therapy then. After reading some of your posts throughout the past few days - you're all over the fucking map. In the end, you still have unresolved issues with your self esteem.
1. I ask her out to coffee with a single message along the lines of 'hey, now that my exams are through, coffee on sunday? cafe bliss? 12pm? done.
Taking her out for coffee seems a lot more logical than a potentially awkward pub scenario.
Also I would reword that entire sentence and get rid of the smiley face and "done". Comes off as really contrived and bizarre. Why not just say "hey would you like to get some coffee this sunday?" If she says yes, then you can arrange the details in a subsequent conversation. Perhaps even leading to more small talk.
I usually just try to keep to myself, or focus on the music I'm listening to if I have my iPod. No reason to look over and make them feel uncomfortable. As for a wingman, I've basically lost all my friends because I went to a college nobody else did in my school, so I've basically been on my own there. I still hang out with my friends when I can when they're home, but that's it.
It just seems that even if other dudes aren't covering those bases as you said, they seem to be having a better time with women, they seem to be having relationships. Maybe I'm missing something, because sometimes I just don't understand it.
Why? Why is having issues with myself so bad? Why is that a bad thing? Why is it bad if I understand what others see?
- Status