Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Almost looks like a flannel and those colors...yikes.
 
Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn :lol I'd love to change my wardrobe some and be more classy but it's so damn expensive :(

As for prints UFRA, I was thinking of my own tastes, and tshirts in particular. I don't think I've seen a polo with prints before. I need to look up the manshion thread myself I think.
 
Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn :lol I'd love to change my wardrobe some and be more classy but it's so damn expensive :(

As for prints UFRA, I was thinking of my own tastes, and tshirts in particular. I don't think I've seen a polo with prints before. I need to look up the manshion thread myself I think.

Don't even sweat it too much. From what I've read you're doing fine with what you got, I've poured a personal fortune into my wardrobe and while I personally like it at the end of the day it all comes from within.
 
Here's a guy pulling off a black polo with layering. Only thing missing is a nice watch.

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I have, for some reason, never enjoy the look of those tiny button jackets (do they have a name?). They look he's wearing his childhood clothes or something, it doesn't really fit and it just looks childish, idk.
 
I have, for some reason, never enjoy the look of those tiny button jackets (do they have a name?). They look he's wearing his childhood clothes or something, it doesn't really fit and it just looks childish, idk.

Cardigan. I can't pull them off but some people look good in them. I mean look at that guy.
 
Okay, last fashion question for the night: assume that I'm preparing for a fourth of July date that promises to be very hot out, and will probably involve lots of physical activity (such as bike riding), so I want to stick with a single polo or possibly t-shirt. I'm going to go shopping for one or maybe two shirts tomorrow, besides the simple black what colors should I be looking for? Yellow? Deep blue? Mauve?
 
YEA BUDDY

An oxford or dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up the forearms is clutch. Wear that and nice jeans on a date and you will be looking stylish.

But never tuck the shirt in.

Vineyard Vines is so ace it's crazy. I'm glad I got a store nearby. As far as tucking or not I've seen some guys that just have the build for it and it looks real good. Brings out the definition of their V taper.

Okay, last fashion question for the night: assume that I'm preparing for a fourth of July date that promises to be very hot out, and will probably involve lots of physical activity (such as bike riding), so I want to stick with a single polo or possibly t-shirt. I'm going to go shopping for one or maybe two shirts tomorrow, besides the simple black what colors should I be looking for? Yellow? Deep blue? Mauve?

These are the colors of the season give or take a few.

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Perhaps this?

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Yeah man, that's perfect actually. Easy color to pull off and the pattern adds a little extra flavor for him.

The_Technomancer, if you get something like this you'll be in a way better position for your date, assuming it fits correctly. That's key and will set you apart from everyone else wearing a tent for a shirt.

Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn :lol I'd love to change my wardrobe some and be more classy but it's so damn expensive :(

As for prints UFRA, I was thinking of my own tastes, and tshirts in particular. I don't think I've seen a polo with prints before. I need to look up the manshion thread myself I think.
It's really not that expensive if you know where/what to look for. Definitely head over to the Manshion thread, everyone there is extremely helpful.

YEA BUDDY

An oxford or dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up the forearms is clutch. Wear that and nice jeans on a date and you will be looking stylish.

But never tuck the shirt in.
There's a reason dress shirts are generally long, they're meant to be tucked in. Guys botch their outfit all the time by not tucking in their dress shirts. It's one of the easiest things to do and changes the look of your outfit entirely.

Of course, if it's a more casual style shirt (button up, long sleeve, but not meant to be worn with a tie), then it's perfectly alright to wear untucked. Basically, it just comes down to the length of the shirt.
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.
I know almost exactly what my problem is: I'm fairly confident, have a lot of fun, often appear interesting (if I'm any gauge of human reactions) but I am completely, utterly, totally terrible at "flirting" or knowing when and how to take things to "the next level", even just physical contact like putting my arm over her shoulder.
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.
I am 100% sure that is it.

Looks get them into the door, but underdeveloped social skills kick them out.

Sure wish I had the advantage of good looks. You guys are a bunch of clowns wasting that potential. :\
I just have to work with what I can, and keep improving my fitness.
 
I just had a friend take a picture of me with their phone...but I just can't, I'm sorry guys. Holy shit do I hate pictures of myself. I literally cringe when I see them the first time after they'e been taken.
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.

I think it could be those yeah. Definitely a possibility. I think it could be a lot of other things too. Just as an example, I live in a rather small town/city that really kinda lacks things to do/meet people at, so it can be a struggle to even find events in my town to meet women at. Or this could all be just one big excuse! :)

Or most of the events are just not what I get into, but hey, such is life.


I just had a friend take a picture of me with their phone...but I just can't, I'm sorry guys. Holy shit do I hate pictures of myself. I literally cringe when I see them the first time after they'e been taken.

Desensitize yourself to them by taking more. I used hate the sound of my own voice in recordings, but I just heard it so much from plays and shows that I got used to it.
 
I just had a friend take a picture of me with their phone...but I just can't, I'm sorry guys. Holy shit do I hate pictures of myself. I literally cringe when I see them the first time after they'e been taken.

I know that feel bro I know that feel.... And I look good IRL LOL...

Know this though, phone pics tend to come out horrible for most people... You need a real camera and good lighting (that goes for the majority of people) everyone has bad shots and horrible shots.
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.

Maybe, who knows. I'm mostly just being me.

P.S. sorry about the double post.
 
I hate to be that guy in a topic like this, but I felt like getting a third opinion tonight after a conversation with a friend. He brought up that I looked unattractive, and while I think he was just being a douche, it occurred to me that I don't really have a good sense of male attractiveness so it's not like I'm a good judge anyway.

LwiCy.jpg


critique the shit out of it, I'm interested in objective opinion

I'm not interested in dating atm but I've never been good at reading others. I sometimes catch looks, but I don't know if it's just common "gaze-catching" that tends to happen anyway (and being 6'5", I feel like I get weird stares regardless of gender just on the basis of standing out...)
 
So considering that we keep finding out that the people here having the most trouble with the ladies are actually the best looking people among us, is it maybe that you guys keep getting so close to winning because of your looks but then blow it because you're not confident, not having fun, or don't appear interesting?

I feel like the "just have a good attitude" advice is the only advice dispensed in this thread, but it keeps being relevant.

I think the advice of being confident and being happy etc is not actually good advice solely for the intention of picking up women. You know I project a positive image when i am with people i know. I smile and laugh, and I'm not nervous after having a few drinks. But women dont approach you. My case isnt a case where i have all these opportunities because of looks and squander them because on social awkwardness. There has to be a very active and focused intention to pick up women in order to make anything happen. Especially in South Florida, fucking hot guy/girl city down here, plenty of guys to go around.

I fail at that part, as i never have a clue how to start anything. Simply being content having a good time has not done a thing in I'd say the last 5 years or so for me. 2 of those years have been after I started going to the gym.
 
I hate to be that guy in a topic like this, but I felt like getting a third opinion tonight after a conversation with a friend. He brought up that I looked unattractive, and while I think he was just being a douche, it occurred to me that I don't really have a good sense of male attractiveness so it's not like I'm a good judge anyway.

LwiCy.jpg


critique the shit out of it, I'm interested in objective opinion

I'm not interested in dating atm but I've never been good at reading others. I sometimes catch looks, but I don't know if it's just common "gaze-catching" that tends to happen anyway (and being 6'5", I feel like I get weird stares regardless of gender just on the basis of standing out...)

Looking handsome to me man. Sounds like we got the same type of friends bringing us down.
 
I hate to be that guy in a topic like this, but I felt like getting a third opinion tonight after a conversation with a friend. He brought up that I looked unattractive, and while I think he was just being a douche, it occurred to me that I don't really have a good sense of male attractiveness so it's not like I'm a good judge anyway.

http://i.imgur.com/LwiCy.jpg[/*IMG]

critique the shit out of it, I'm interested in objective opinion

I'm not interested in dating atm but I've never been good at reading others. I sometimes catch looks, but I don't know if it's just common "gaze-catching" that tends to happen anyway (and being 6'5", I feel like I get weird stares regardless of gender just on the basis of standing out...)[/QUOTE]
Your friend is tripping, you're far from unattractive, man.
 
Like I said, all of you are a bunch of jabronis who lack self confidence. Seriously guys, do you know what some of us would give to have gotten a better hand dealt by Mother Nature? XD

Stop being so timid and self-conscious. If anything, I should be the biggest person complaining about how ugly I am (and, if you followed the older threads a few years ago, I did), but then I realized you need to stop giving a fuck about whether or not you fit the classic image of male beauty.

Especially because a lot of you are very good-looking, and you're making me think of the 1% complaining about lucky people problems. :p

luckyboyceo said:
There's a reason dress shirts are generally long, they're meant to be tucked in. Guys botch their outfit all the time by not tucking in their dress shirts. It's one of the easiest things to do and changes the look of your outfit entirely.

Of course, if it's a more casual style shirt (button up, long sleeve, but not meant to be worn with a tie), then it's perfectly alright to wear untucked. Basically, it just comes down to the length of the shirt.
Partially agree, but an untucked shirt also conveys an easy-going or relaxed demeanor.
 
Like I said, all of you are a bunch of jabronis who lack self confidence. Seriously guys, do you know what some of us would give to have gotten a better hand dealt by Mother Nature? XD

Stop being so timid and self-conscious. If anything, I should be the biggest person complaining about how ugly I am (and, if you followed the older threads a few years ago, I did), but then I realized you need to stop giving a fuck about whether or not you fit the classic image of male beauty.

Especially because a lot of you are very good-looking, and you're making me think of the 1% complaining about lucky people problems. :p

I normally never blame any of my personal failings on another person, but there was one relationship I was in that completely fucked over my ability to gauge other people's attraction to me. *sigh*

I just need to start jumping in and taking risks, I know
 
He brought up that I looked unattractive,

It's all subjective. No matter what you look like, there are gonna be certain people who are going to think you're unattractive, some more than others. The important thing is how you see yourself.

Don't think to yourself "Oh shit, someone thinks I'm unattractive! What do I do! What should I change!" Because no matter what you do, the world is not going to have a universal consensus on how good looking you are.
 
It's all subjective. No matter what you look like, there are gonna be certain people who are going to think you're unattractive, some more than others. The important thing is how you see yourself.

Don't think to yourself "Oh shit, someone thinks I'm unattractive! What do I do! What should I change!" Because no matter what you do, the world is not going to have a universal consensus on how good looking you are.
Yup. This is from where we get the old saying, "You've gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you."

I can say that even though I still have much to learn, I've come a long way since I first started posting in this threads, and fostering my own self-esteem is probably the biggest part of it.
 
Oh these replies. Just what I expected. Not even the fake "you look good" because it would be too much of a lie to say. Fuck this, just say the honest truth.
 
Yeah right. Couldn't even muster up a "you look good/fine"? Come on, don't try and fool me.

Like I said, read my previous post. Even if I did say you look good/ugly, who cares. I'm not stating a fact. It's not like someone else is not going to have a different opinion. Don't let others influence how you see yourself.

But if it makes you feel any better. If you would have told me your banging some hot chick, based on that pic alone (and not your terrible attitude) I would believe you.
 
Oh these replies. Just what I expected. Not even the fake "you look good" because it would be too much of a lie to say. Fuck this, just say the honest truth.

There's more to looking good than facial structure. Lose the hat, get some light and give us a smile, then see.
 
Your attitude is ugly, not your looks.
This 100%.

Izick you're definitely not what I would call ugly or unattractive. The way you've been describing yourself made me expect to see rabid drooling dog. If we were going on looks alone I see no reason why you couldn't pick up women.
 
Dude you need an attitude re-aliment man.. You look like that dude that can be a slick suave sleazebag and get the women if he was cool enough (attitude) and confident enough.

Try to change your own perception if you can, practice with a mirror. Go for a certain look and build the attitude/personality from it, once you figure it out be consistent god damn it.
 
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You legitimately don't look that bad, from what I can tell by the picture. As MTE said above, a better quality picture with you smiling could only improve it.

Really, with looks like that, though you may not be the handsomest guy around, you're certainly not ugly.
 
.

Izick, you can't even get other game nerds to like you with this nasty ass attitude and self-hate you have. Why would you expect women to warm up to you?

This, a thousand times this.

I would say that I'm a not terribly good looking Asian dude and I'd argue that I'm at a disadvantage compared to you (with respect to online dating), but I never had any problem (and I'm getting hitched to a girl I met online in a few months). It really is about your attitude, and what you've displayed in this thread is pretty unlikeable.

If you're not comfortable in your own skin, you need to fix that before you can expect anything to happen. Seriously. It took me over 25 years to figure that out.
 
Dude you need an attitude re-aliment man.. You look like that dude that can be a slick suave sleazebag and get the women if he was cool enough (attitude) and confident enough.

Try to change your own perception if you can, practice with a mirror. Go for a certain look and build the attitude/personality from it, once you figure it out be consistent god damn it.

How does someone become a slick suave sleezebag though? It's not like they make classes for it.
 
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