Vermillion
Banned
So you only like black girls? Alright, then.
And hey, if you're happy not dating, that's also cool. But it begs the question "why are you in this thread"?
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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So you only like black girls? Alright, then.
And hey, if you're happy not dating, that's also cool. But it begs the question "why are you in this thread"?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Cause you seem kinda whiny and have very specific tastes?
Darren870
Member
CrushDance
Banned
That's not what I said. I said that I wouldn't go out of my way to find a black girl just to say that I'm in a relationship, but would rather it come naturally.
I don't have any taste at all. I've liked all sorts of girls. I don't want to limit myself but it seems like that's the only option I have now.
I guess I'm just frustrated is all. I'm not sure what to do.
Devolution
Member
The thing to do is buck up, ask her out and if she turns you down ask her why. If it happens to be because you're black, then she's either a racist or a coward and not worth you're time. If she won't admit to it but you have the suspicion that's the reason then move the hell on. What do you want us to honestly tell you? If you're going to psych yourself out before you even try, why even be on the dating circuit?
CrushDance
Banned
So how am I supposed to deal with that if she says that? Because believe it or not, two girls have straight up said that in the past. It's not fun to deal with at all. If someone says no, you can move on and it's no big deal. But with the modifier of "No. I don't date x guys". It cuts way too deep. I don't know how I'm supposed to date with confidence in a majority white soceity.
Devolution
Member
Look I won't ever deal with that but how much leeway are you going to make talking to us about it instead of just finding out once and for all?
You ignore your race, and everyone elses completely.
Vermillion
Banned
If they're racist, don't bother with them. Pretty much everywhere is majority white. Welcome to the US of A, son. It doesn't mean don't try, it means keep looking. For the record, I'm black, too. It's no excuse for not going after girls you like.
SleepyJohn11
Member
I asked her out; she's got somewhere to go to Friday night, but I got Saturday locked down.
All day Saturday.
All day Saturday.
Not really in the position to give advice, but yeah, I had that same anxiety when I lived in Georgia and Florida. What's different now for me is a majority asian community.
don't sweat it. if you are in texting phase and haven't met IRL then nothing is set. That is why you shouldn't put much stock in any virtual relationship. They are just flirting/preparation. I wouldn't even call it flirting, it's just testing the ground.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Regarding the girl that dumped me...
Still no communication since Sunday. I still plan to call her this Sunday.
I had a script written where I would apologize yada yada can you forgive me yada. And then ask her out
Decided that was bad for two reasons. I'd be in a position of weakness, and I'd be moving too fast again.
New strategy: call, say hi, chit chat for a bit, try to make a joke, then after a few minutes say I have to do some laundry and I'll call her back tomorrow. Don't mention past issues.
A few hours later send a flirty text or joke.
Basically... Start from scratch. Just get a line of communication open, and go from there. Path of least resistance. And I'm not asking her if I can call her tomorrow, I'm telling her I'll call her tomorrow. Position of control of the relationship and confidence.
If she says please don't call me, I won't. But if she says ok or something like that, then I'm good.
Edit - i'll say I'll call her back later, not tomorrow.
Edit 2 - on third thought, I'll just say talk to you later to end the conversation, and wait to hear how she replies.
Still no communication since Sunday. I still plan to call her this Sunday.
I had a script written where I would apologize yada yada can you forgive me yada. And then ask her out
Decided that was bad for two reasons. I'd be in a position of weakness, and I'd be moving too fast again.
New strategy: call, say hi, chit chat for a bit, try to make a joke, then after a few minutes say I have to do some laundry and I'll call her back tomorrow. Don't mention past issues.
A few hours later send a flirty text or joke.
Basically... Start from scratch. Just get a line of communication open, and go from there. Path of least resistance. And I'm not asking her if I can call her tomorrow, I'm telling her I'll call her tomorrow. Position of control of the relationship and confidence.
If she says please don't call me, I won't. But if she says ok or something like that, then I'm good.
Edit - i'll say I'll call her back later, not tomorrow.
Edit 2 - on third thought, I'll just say talk to you later to end the conversation, and wait to hear how she replies.
Don't.
PhoenixSFT
Member
If that fails, he can impress her with his skiing prowess.
blainethemono
Member
Because you just never know man, it might be the opposite. One time I asked a girl out and she said no because she only dates black guys. Granted I'm not black or white, but it didn't really affect me too much because most girls I talk to don't really give a shit either way. You should just try and see what happens
Count Dookkake
Member
Gross, lame and ill-advised.
SlipperySlope
Banned
We all know I'm going to make the call...
Is there any advice other than sarcasm and "don't"?
Is there any advice other than sarcasm and "don't"?
This is so brutal. There are so many girls out there, and you're going after one who explicitly said she doesn't want you. There will be better girls who will want you more.
Ps: by calling her at all you're in a position of extreme weakness, if that matters to you.
Seriously, I'm wincing here.
Neffarias_Bredd
Member
No man, it's a really bad idea and reeks of desperation
Yes, the advice is to not do it for very good reasons. If you do this, it makes you look like a pussy, and if there's one thing a girl needs to be into you it's respect. The only thing worse than this is if you showed up at her door weeping and clung to her knees wailing to take you back.
Have some self respect man, you're better than crawling after this one. There are lots of other girls out there, and if she wants you back then she'll call. In the meantime just enjoy not having to make any compromises in your life and doing all the things that you didn't have time for before. This is your chance to improve yourself.
You are not looking for advice but acceptance.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Hmm. This is a good response. I'll think it over.
PhoenixSFT
Member
Seriously, just take some time to yourself, go do something you've been putting off, whatever. Do not call her, she's already made her decision.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
A girl broke it off with me a couple months ago. I was completely in love with her.
I wrote her letters and tried to hang out with her. Didn't work. But I'm also not one to beg, so I sent her one more letter saying that I didn't hold anything against her. It's been about a month, I feel a little better having gone that long without even attempting contact. I feel sad still and think about her a lot, but Ive been focusing more on the future.
If she's ignoring you, just stop trying to contact her. Sorry man, I know it hurts :\
Omegasquash
Member
Good to hear. Also, in an earlier post I think you noted that she was being or sounding a little cruel about it. You deserve better than someone that would do you like that, man.
SlipperySlope
Banned
She hasn't been ignoring me. Neither of us have attempted contact since the breakup, which I really don't know how I've held off on contacting her up until now.
Anyway, since I've had thoughts of a possibility of restarting the relationship, the depression lessoned a bit. But now it's back in full force...
Dude...DUDE!!!! You already know she is manipulative. You already know she lied about stuff.
Not that Im speaking for you, but Im willing to bet you have residual feelings for her.
Don't let her close to you. She hurt you. She has manipulated the situation. She is playing the "Im in distress" card. (Us men are very weak against this).
Don't respond. You will be glad you did. Not only that, its a stud move.
QuicheFontaine
Member
It takes almost no effort to get in touch with someone these days if you want to. I don't know all the ins and outs of this but if she hasn't tried to contact you, you can read between the lines. Sorry dude.
First off, congratulations for for not caving yet and not calling.
But look, have you received any other advice on this thread that has said contacting her is a good idea? Seriously, has ONE post said "yeah man, sounds good. Call on Sunday." No you haven't. We have all been there. The week after a breakup sucks a metric ton. You say you "feel depression coming back." I can't speak for you, but lots of guys feel like sheet about 4 days after a break up.
You must resolve not to be a pansy. You must resolve not to be weak. She wont respect you and neither will you.
She will not want to get back together with you in a week. No way. Not now. I don't even know her, and I can tell you that. Women don't think like that. She is not waiting by her phone hoping "man, I hope he calls back so we can give this another shot after I dumped him 7 days ago."
She made a decision. Respect it, but let her feel the weight of the decision.
If she misses you. If she wants to give it another shot. Believe me, she will contact you.
You will heal in the meantime and she will miss you. Works both ways.
So for the love of gawd, find your nuevos, and say "im not contacting her again."
The Incarnation
Member
If you're not comfortable in your own skin, you'll get rejected anyway, you're rejecting yourself.
I've heard plenty of people say they don't find blacks attractive, but hey it's better than being hated for who you actually are, your character and all that, that is what gets you from A to be B, nothing else. And when I hear people say things like that I dislike them, and from my point of view that is the bigger deal. Such people aren't even worth a Hello.
Regardless that is one hangup you need to lose, and quickly, because when you do find that Woman, that issue will push her away. No one is going to want to mother you to help you feel accepted.
PhoenixSFT
Member
Eh, movie dates in general kind of suck. Are you going for dinner/lunch beforehand? Plans to do anything after the movie(bar?)
IMO, movies are hard first dates because you are basically sitting next to a stranger for 2 1/2 hours and yall have not made an effort to get to know one another yet.
I'd set up grabbing a bite to eat either before or after to actually "date."
Or scrap it all together.
The Incarnation
Member
Ok, fair enough. Anyone from CT know of decent restaurants in the Windsor Locks area? That's about halfway between us.
electricshake
Member
Posted this in the OKC thread but thought I'd stick this in here too
Feeling pretty excited about this one, but trying not to get too ahead of myself.
Was considering deactivating my profile again when I got talking to a guy yesterday. Ended up discussing our love for tv amongst other things. Swapped numbers and moved to texting. Haven't clicked with someone like this in ages. I'm away this weekend but hopefully we'll get a date sorted for next week
Feeling pretty excited about this one, but trying not to get too ahead of myself.
if it's a first date then going out to dinner may be a little too strong. you want to do something light that allows you to be able to talk, look and be with each other without being a huge time sink, but equally, gives you the option of spending more time with each other if you decide to.
i always like going to museums, cause its interesting and gives you something you talk about something with each other. equally, could just grab a coffee or go for a walk. according to gaf assplay is also a viable option.
Ok, how about the basketball hall of fame? She lives in Springfield btw
http://depositfiles.com/files/win0pocad
An old 40 minute interview with Brent Smith that has been taken down from youtube. It'd be great if anyone could re-upload it I don't have one of those fancy accounts that can upload longer videos 
An old 40 minute interview with Brent Smith that has been taken down from youtube. It'd be great if anyone could re-upload it
I don't have one of those fancy accounts that can upload longer videos 
NeOak
Member
http://depositfiles.com/files/win0pocad
An old 40 minute interview with Brent Smith that has been taken down from youtube. It'd be great if anyone could re-upload it
What is it about?
It is a confidence issue though, and a personal one. When you feel good about who you are, and you should, those things don't matter, because it's more of a thing of you reasoning then 'well, that girl is dumb / doesn't know what she's missing, because I am awesome!' And really not caring (or at least not caring so much) & moving on. It's not even just race, it can be age, build, the way your face looks, whatever.
No matter what everyone faces a lot of people that don't like them for no good reason, and you move on because there will be a lot of people that do like you for who you are.
What do you possibly think you're going to gain out of this. If she was bothered by you saying you love her she's going to be way more bothered and probably SCARED when you keep going after her. You're literally turning into a stalker and it's not good for you or her or anyone. Move the fuck on.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Thanks for the advice. Come to think of it, there was another girl at the last two dances that was cute. I've danced with her a few times. Perhaps I'll go to the next dance and if she's there ask for her number.
Robin may also be at the dance...
In fact, it's one of these dances where I first met Robin.
The thing about the dances is it's an older age group. Robin and Sandy are the only two girls there I'm attracted to. And Sandy has a lot of guys vying for her attention. All the other girls have at least 8 years on me. I'm not into cougars.
It's basically a recap of his journey from a "loser" to pickup master to where he is now, with some dating tips along the way and his current philosophy about life in general.
Food as a first date is always weird. Coffee or drinks (booze) is always a good one.
First date should be all about the two of you interacting and talking not sitting next to each other in a crowded theatre.
Have you ever tried the movie first date? The reason it's bad is because neither of you know each other at this point yet you're sitting right next to each other for a whole movie, and you want to interact but you can't because it's a movie.
What? What's wrong with food as a first date? Coffee is too intellectual for me, ends up feeling like two floating brains. Also, I hate booze. Food is fine, just don't go for food you haven't tried before.
Lot's of people (girls and guys) are weird about eating infront of people so right there you already have this person possibly on edge. Complications of who pays for what? First date should be dutch. I know a lot of girls that hate dinner first dates because dudes have assumed that you pay for a nice meal that the girl is obligated to be nice, polite, and be physical. In my years of dating I have never heard a girl complain about a first date not being a dinner date, but I have had girls mention how nice it is that our first date wasn't a dinner date.
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