Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Hey, I made this post in another thread but thought it might get more attention here....

Anyone fancy giving me some profile tips? I had OKC but it's pretty dead in this part of the world.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=16932531

I've met a few girls with my profile in this sort of state, and one almost worked out except she is moving away. I have a lot of success in getting girls to read my profile after I message them but not many tend to reply.

Thanks!
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
So... you're looking to 'pick up' a girl, not date her. Ok, so that is a different thread then. This is about DATING. And dating requires communication, being social, not putting a woman on this high plane that requires you to speak a different language than you do to men.
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Irony of this post is that I'm dating a girl that I picked up but whatever dude. And no one is saying put a girl on a pedestal quite the opposite of that
 
Until the thread says "hookup age" and maybe even then I'll have an issue with most PUA related shit in that it posits an unhealthy and adversarial division between the sexes. If you think different, fine, but the writing surrounding it contradicts that.
 
Definitely a lot to be said for motivation and direct intentions. Fear holds you back, and confidence will cure that. I've been feeling so confident lately.

This morning I was horny so I messaged a super hot Filipino girl on OKC about fucking her, straight off, nothing else -- first time I ever did that -- she reacted positively and we started talking WAT.

Every person is different, do what feels right within you, don't trust fear but be prepared to fail.



Then I masturbated and thought WAT AM I DOIN
 
Nerds with Guns said:
Irony of this post is that I'm dating a girl that I picked up but whatever dude. And no one is saying put a girl on a pedestal quite the opposite of that
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Where did I say that PUA shit doesn't work at times? I didn't. In fact I said that it does work at times but just because it may give a guy some success doesn't make it acceptable or valuable. Again, answer my question please: do you use PUA techniques when speaking to men you meet?

Nerds with Guns said:
You mean flirting?


Seriously.
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And that's the point. You know, you are able to go up to a woman and start up a conversation, being social, without using PUA bullshit flirtation language. Once you have a connection created with some woman, then yea, that is where flirtation arrives. But one is able to flirt without using PUA bullshit.
 
Devolution said:
In this case PUA is just reinforcing the idea that you need to speak in some special code at women and not really addressing the communication issues of people. That's the problem. So they use it, get a number, what do they do weeks from now when they still can't communicate worth a shit?




I'd rather we address those reasons than tell people parlor tricks.
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No special code. You're bandying around these claims, but when has me or nerds said that? Why does it feel like people keep putting shit in our mouths rather than address any actual words we are saying?

Dev, do you think it's wrong for me to tell a guy who is afraid of rejection that rejection happens, that he would brush it off, laugh, then move on to the next girl?

Just because I know it will be misconstrued, next girl just means "dont dwell"
ClovingWestbrook said:
WHY do you need a technique AT ALL to speak to another human being? When you see a strange dude that you make eye contact with at the super market, job, on the street, do you have to use a technique to say hello? Or do you just say 'hello'? If you need a technique to say hello to a strange male, then you have bigger problems to fix and to worry about then dating. If you can say hello to a strange male without having to use any type of technique besides simply being social, then there isn't any need to use a technique when speaking to a woman.



So... you're looking to 'pick up' a girl, not date her. Ok, so that is a different thread then. This is about DATING. And dating requires communication, being social, not putting a woman on this high plane that requires you to speak a different language than you do to men.
Click to expand...

Random thought - you pick up a girl, THEN date her. Some guys are fine at dating, but retrofitted of approaching girls.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
Where did I say that PUA shit doesn't work at times? I didn't. In fact I said that it does work at times but just because it may give a guy some success doesn't make it acceptable or valuable. Again, answer my question please: do you use PUA techniques when speaking to men you meet?
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I flirt with women, I don't flirt with men. So by your definition I do use a technique.
 
Nerds with Guns said:
I flirt with women, I don't flirt with men. So by your definition I do use a technique.
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So... flirting is a technique now? Really?

Kinitari said:
No special code. You're bandying around these claims, but when has me or nerds said that? Why does it feel like people keep putting shit in our mouths rather than address any actual words we are saying?

Dev, do you think it's wrong for me to tell a guy who is afraid of rejection that rejection happens, that he would brush it off, laugh, then move on to the next girl?

Just because I know it will be misconstrued, next girl just means "dont dwell"


Random thought - you pick up a girl, THEN date her. Some guys are fine at dating, but retrofitted of approaching girls.
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Do they have issues approaching men to start up conversation?
 
Nerds with Guns said:
I did.

Surely you can see the point I'm trying to make. Do you speak to men, and a woman you are interested in, in the exact same manner?
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When I am introduced to them? Yes, I did (I am married). Why wouldn't I? If something develops then naturally I would flirt but no, I don't have a technique for it. I spoke to my wife the same way I did to my buddies.

Kinitari said:
Who knows, maybe? But they don't prioritize talking to men? you're being obtuse bro. Guys get nervous around girls, or a lot do. If you do, the advice from SP is sound.
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And why do they get nervous around girls?
 
Kinitari said:
I don't allude to any sexual activities with the guys I flirt with. And the distance I stand from the girl is different. I mean, a lot of other subtle things too - but mostly, SP is about guys getting over their fear of approaching women.
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So... you're putting the pussy on the pedestal... You want to have sex with a woman so you treat/speak to her differently than you do a man, therefore you use PUA to help you accomplish your goal. Just as I said.
 
Kinitari said:
I don't allude to any sexual activities with the guys I flirt with. And the distance I stand from the girl is different. I mean, a lot of other subtle things too - but mostly, SP is about guys getting over their fear of approaching women.
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So you don't think that it's a whole entire issue and that these people are bad in most social situations, men or women. You are now just treating a symptom and not the disease.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
So... you're putting the pussy on the pedestal... You want to have sex with a woman so you treat/speak to her differently than you do a man, therefore you use PUA to help you accomplish your goal. Just as I said.
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One talks to people one wishes to engage in sexual activities with differently than someone one doesn't want to engage in sexual activities with, it's that simple. When & where differs from person to person. Has nothing to do with pedestals or PUA or anything.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
... lol ...

Yea, what do I know about communication?

It's not like the men in this thread want to find a woman to have a relationship with, naaaaaa
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That's not what I meant by that. It's just that I severely doubt that you have ever walked up to a completely random girl that you saw in a store and started flirting with her. Am I wrong?
 
Sure we can all say "hello" but what happens after that? How can they follow up and make the woman in question not think that he's a creep?
Women think different than us, they're not males, buddies, dudes or bros so we can't talk to women like we do with them. The techniques he's referring to are not PUA and they are not 100% proof guaranteed, they are methods to establish a way to communicate to them.

A technique could be something you acquire that you don't normally have. Flirting is a technique if you need a detailed description of it just take look at this page.

Also, why do you generalize? nobody is saying they're "putting the pussy on the pedestal" when they're saying they act different when they are with women than with men
 
vctor182 said:
Sure we can all say "hello" but what happens after that? How can they follow up and make the woman in question not think that he's a creep?
Women think different than us, they're not males, buddies, dudes or bros so we can't talk to women like we do with them. The techniques he's referring to are not PUA and they are not 100% proof guaranteed, they are methods to establish a way to communicate to them.

A technique could be something you acquire that you don't normally have. Flirting is a technique if you need a detailed description of it just take look at this page.

Also, why do you generalize? nobody is saying they're "putting the pussy on the pedestal" when they're saying they act different when they are with women than with men
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So you don't want a long term relationship.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
I have walked up to many women and started conversations. Many led to more amd many didnt.
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lol That's not what I'm asking. I don't care if you walked up to a girl and had a conversation with her. I asking very specifically if you ever approached a girl because you thought she was cute and wanted to take her on a date.


If you say no, I'm going to ask you why not? Because this right here is what you're bashing.
 
Nerds with Guns said:
lol That's not what I'm asking. I don't care if you walked up to a girl and had a conversation with her. I asking very specifically if you ever approached a girl because you thought she was cute and wanted to take her on a date.


If you say no, I'm going to ask you why not? Because this right here is what you're bashing.
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I think what he's bashing is the concept that there is a program that you can learn to garner a consistent response.
 
ClovingWestbrook said:
So... you're putting the pussy on the pedestal... You want to have sex with a woman so you treat/speak to her differently than you do a man, therefore you use PUA to help you accomplish your goal. Just as I said.
Click to expand...


.... That's not what that phrase implies, no matter how hard you want it to. Wanting different things from the sex you're attracted to than from the one you are not is done weird thing now?

And I used the advice from SP to help me not "put the pussy on the pedestal" ie, not build up talking to a woman like she is some Greek goddess named Pussilia, or whatever she was called in that movie.
 
Nerds with Guns said:
lol That's not what I'm asking. I don't care if you walked up to a girl and had a conversation with her. I asking very specifically if you ever approached a girl because you thought she was cute and wanted to take her on a date.


If you say no, I'm going to ask you why not? Because this right here is what you're bashing.
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Sure, I've found many attractive and wanted to get to know them better. How did I speak to them? Like sexy women i wanted to date/fuck? No. I spoke to them like i would anyone that I didnt know but was curious about. If the comversation was interesting and I wanted to go forward, I may ask for their number.
 
so okay just checked some sites so I now know how to say hello. first I tell myself I'm the best person and everybody loves me. second I touch her to establish some 'kin' because statistically speak I am 33% more likely to have sex with a woman if I do some light touching when we first meet. then I have to neg her so to establish that I am the dominant person in this relationship but also to make it so that she isn't as cocky in her-self but also that she is more receptive to my eventual compliments. then I say hello.

so...er...how do i talk about batman to her?
 
Ooh hooray, we're at the obnoxiously misrepresenting a position point of the argument already? That means you guys have tons of legs to stand on.

also, new fact, it's impossible to date a girl you pick up randomly on the street, at least long term. Serious knowledge dropping.
 
Chinner said:
so okay just checked some sites so I now know how to say hello. first I tell myself I'm the best person and everybody loves me. second I touch her to establish some 'kin' because statistically speak I am 33% more likely to have sex with a woman if I do some light touching when we first meet. then I have to neg her so to establish that I am the dominant person in this relationship but also to make it so that she isn't as cocky in her-self but also that she is more receptive to my eventual compliments. then I say hello.

so...er...how do i talk about batman to her?
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Jackben said:
There is now a PUA thread so you guys should take the debate over there and leave this thread for Dating-Age.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=40178174
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.
 
Chinner said:
so okay just checked some sites so I now know how to say hello. first I tell myself I'm the best person and everybody loves me. second I touch her to establish some 'kin' because statistically speak I am 33% more likely to have sex with a woman if I do some light touching when we first meet. then I have to neg her so to establish that I am the dominant person in this relationship but also to make it so that she isn't as cocky in her-self but also that she is more receptive to my eventual compliments. then I say hello.

so...er...how do i talk about batman to her?
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Lol
 
Kinitari said:
Ooh hooray, we're at the obnoxiously misrepresenting a position point of the argument already? That means you guys have tons of legs to stand on.

also, new fact, it's impossible to date a girl you pick up randomly on the street, at least long term. Serious knowledge dropping.
Click to expand...

Fact if's and but's are now candy n' nuts
 
Devolution said:
In a great relationship there is no difference in communication among the sexes. You can talk to your partner like you would your best friend. That's kind of the point.
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I 100% disagree. I tell my girlfriend I love her, compliment her clothing, tell her I think she's beautiful. Sometimes we act grossly cute around each other. When I started talking to her, it was a lot of stolen glances, silliness and obvious interest that translated into communication in tons of different ways.

I do none of that with my roommate.
 
wind_steaker said:
Thought I'd post this again for the new page, anyone have any tips on improving my profile?

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=16932531
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Short and to the point.
It's also a plus that you're highlighting that you don't like football, so you can screen out women who do like it (though some might say that'd reduce the number of hits you get, I'm of the opinion that it's better to be up-front about a common preference like that).
 
Kinitari said:
I 100% disagree. I tell my girlfriend I love her, compliment her clothing, tell her I think she's beautiful. Sometimes we act grossly cute around each other. When I started talking to her, it was a lot of stolen glances, silliness and obvious interest that translated into communication in tons of different ways.

I do none of that with my roommate.
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Way to be willfully obtuse dude.
 
Kinitari said:
I 100% disagree. I tell my girlfriend I love her, compliment her clothing, tell her I think she's beautiful. Sometimes we act grossly cute around each other. When I started talking to her, it was a lot of stolen glances, silliness and obvious interest that translated into communication in tons of different ways.

I do none of that with my roommate.
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... are you serious right now? You actually think that what Dev meant is you LITERALLY treat your SO the exact same way as your boys?
 
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