Girl-Age assemble: she dumped me, then baked me a pie, but then dumped me again...

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as people have said, just break all contact with her... if she really wants to be with you she will get in touch but im guessing by then that you will realise that you dont want her or u have found someone else alot better..

I was with my ex for 6 years and we broke up a few times, looking back i knew she wasnt what i really wanted i just didnt want to be on my own, we got engaged and bought a house then 3 months after we moved in she left and started seeing some other guy, she is now engaged to him and is pregnant but the funny thing is i feel relieved as i can now see that i didnt want a kid or a life with her

Its hard at first but just enjoy being single, this doesnt mean u have to go out sleeping with everything that moves (if u want to do that then hell yeah go for it) just enjoy being you again, i started cycling again and i have a much bigger social group now.. sure i think about how she is doing better than me as im still single 2 years on but then i think is she really doing that much better ???

You will get there dude, chin up :D
 
bdizzle said:
What kinda pie was it, I'm seriously curious....
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The pie was a raspberry rhubarb pie. She spent all day picking the raspberrys and made it from scratch. It was good.

And to all of you naysayers on the Road Glide, that is a babe magnet touring machine! Just get them on the back and let the vibrations do the rest! Now that I'm single I expect to be doing alot more distance riding, and that would be ideal. Plus my Heritage is at 50,000 miles, if I'm going to ever trade it in now is the time. Plus, hello, single now!

Oh, and no I'm not an ex boxer, the ring money is the money I had saved for the engagement ring I was going to give her next month.
 
Well, she is coming over Sunday to get her furniture. She sounded like she was doing well over the phone, alot better than I am. She didn't mention the date, and I didn't let on that I know. So tomorrow may be the last time I ever see her. I don't yet know how I'm going to treat her. Will I act angry and upset at her, or just act aloof like it's no big deal? I guess I won't know until I see her. :(
 
Just wait OP. When my ex broke things off 9 weeks ago I thought I was the bad guy. because she did a good job of convincing me. fast forward to three weeks ago I find out she's already shacking up with her best friend and all the reasons in which she said were the reason why she broke up with me were all lies and completely untrue, of which I pointed out to her happily. The best part, I made her realize she was full of shit as I left her house because she deleted my entire family off Facebook (of which she had previously declared as being her own family) and started having jabs at me on Facebook that my friends could still see.

Me 1, that Bitch 0. Oh yeah, everyone I know and a lot of people that know her think she's a complete bitch. So you see, it all works out for the nice guys. :D
 
Just to update this thread and keep the story going:

Sunday went surprisingly well. She came with her daughter and two cousins, who were all glad to see me since it's been awhile. She greeted me with a kiss and a big hug, and we both acted cordial and friendly to each other. After moving furniture for a bit the two of us took a short walk together and talked for a bit. She misses me alot, and she has had a rough time with this. Little things remind her of me. It sounds like we are both going through some of the same stuff.

However, little things made me feel like I've been friend zoned. For example, when I broke contact she admitted she had been afraid she had lost a good friend forever. The word friend there made me sting a bit, but I left it go unchallenged because she was pouring out her feelings. She gave me two kisses, hello and goodbye, but they were nothing more than pecks on the lips. That may have been just because the kids were right there, but it felt like a friendly kiss, not a lovers kiss. Or she may just still be unsure of things and not know how to act.

Either way I asked her out on Sunday for tonight so we can talk things over, and she agreed, so tonight we are going to talk.

I'm going to just start with chit chat and catching up, keeping it upbeat and fun, but at some point I'm going to ask her what we are doing. I think I'll start it by asking her if she is happier without me than she was with me, and go from there in whichever direction that takes it. If she says she isn't happier then I'm going to push that we give us a second chance. If she says she is happier then I'm going to probably start a fight about how stupid it is to throw away three good years and the family we have developed simply because she has doubts and concerns, without even trying to make the relationship grow.

Either way, by the end of tonight I plan to find either closure or progress. And if it's closure, then I am going to slam that door and never look back.
 
Dude... real talk for a second.

She's not going to say she's happier without you, even if she is. She probably still cares about you, and she'll think saying something like that is horrible. But that's just going to give you a false hope. Let it go, move on. If you insist on seeing her, treat her like a friend (as impossible as that sounds) do whatever you can to constantly remind yourself that it's over.

If that's not a good enough reason, think about it like this. There is a really good chance the more you push, the more you ask for it, the lower your chances are. Be a cool, funny aloof guy who is investing no time in trying to get back together with her and I will pretty much guarantee you that it will increase your chances much much more than... well it sounds like what you're planning to do is either beg, or argue.
 
Yeah, I'd recommend aloofness, really. It's her move, she's thinking the same things you are...unless she's not, then it's over anyway.
 
gdt5016 said:
Yeah, I'd recommend aloofness, really. It's her move, she's thinking the same things you are...unless she's not, then it's over anyway.
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I played it aloof on Sunday and it went well, but the problem is I don't know if its over or not, I don't know what she is thinking, and this is killing me. I'm not eating right, I'm not sleeping well, I miss her daughter and her family and the whole life we had together. I need to know if she is considering giving us a second chance, if it is over or not.

Now that I write that it does sound sad. It's how I feel inside, but maybe pushing her will have the opposite effect. Maybe it will come across needy and desperate.

Maybe I just need to have a good time with her tonight and then ask for another date by the end, something like inviting her and her daughter over for dinner. Maybe I need to just avoid trying to find out what she is thinking about, and where our future is going. Maybe I need to just bottle my desire to know up tight and pack it away. If she agrees to another date then I guess that is my answer right there. If she has any interest at all in patching things up, she will say yes. If she says no or makes excuses then I guess that is an answer too.

Part of me simply wants to fix this by logic and reason, but part of me also knows that just won't work. There is nothing logical about a woman's feelings or actions.
 
Mengy said:
There is nothing logical about a woman's feelings or actions.
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to be fair, your feelings and actions are lacking logic as well, but it's understandable on both of your parts.
 
Dear Mengy, IGNORE THE FUCK OUTTA HER! I'm fucking serious. Don't answer her calls, don't use any mean of communication. Atleast for a month. I'm not kidding. If you can't do this and if you keep chasing her with the "BUT BUT I LOVE YOU! BUT BUT I MISS YOU! BABY PLEASE! CMON! LETS HANG OUT! NOW? NOW? WILL YOU?", she is going to be gone forever.

Make up your fucking mind, man the fuck up, take out your balls from the fridge, wear them and start ignoring her.

RULE # 1: DO. NOT. CHASE. HER! Don't chase her and she will chase you to the extend that she will be begging you.

I have never had a good relationship in my life but goddamn I have learned that the best logic is to ignore! Keep yourself busy with things and you will start enjoying yourself. Stop torturing yourself like that and make her realize how much you mean to her by not talking to her.
 
The girl is a whackjob.

If you asked her a year ago she would have said yes? So you'd be getting a divorce right about now because apparently her love for you has a short shelf life.

It may suck but you saved yourself wasted time in the future. She likely "found new dick" because her reasoning is pretty flimsy.

And if you do decide to get back with her then enjoy the heartache that will eventually come. Nothing about this smells right and shes already proven to be unreliable. Cut your losses and take your balls outta your purse.
 
This is a lesson you learned when you are 8 years old and it applies here:

When you have a skinned knee, you don't pick the scab too early. Even though it fucking itches, even though it feels good to do it, even though there's little jagged edges that catch on everything and make you wince in pain. The minute you pick that scab off, the healing process has to start all over again.

That's what you are doing everytime you are visiting this woman again. Quit picking the scabs.
 
Im no expert in relationships but you need to stop seeing this girl. It sounds like you two seeing each other again is creating thoughts of getting back together. She broke up with you, she did it with possibly nefarious reasons. Letting this whole thing continue on is going to kill you and stop you from moving on. I understand its difficult but it will be even harder when you think youre going to get back together and the whole thing cycles through again.

Dont talk to her, dont chase her, leave it be.
 
ToxicAdam said:
This is a lesson you learned when you are 8 years old and it applies here:

When you have a skinned knee, you don't pick the scab too early. Even though it fucking itches, even though it feels good to do it, even though there's little jagged edges that catch on everything and make you wince in pain. The minute you pick that scab off, the healing process has to start all over again.

That's what you are doing everytime you are visiting this woman again. Quit picking the scabs.
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This is fucking awesome.
 
ToxicAdam said:
This is a lesson you learned when you are 8 years old and it applies here:

When you have a skinned knee, you don't pick the scab too early. Even though it fucking itches, even though it feels good to do it, even though there's little jagged edges that catch on everything and make you wince in pain. The minute you pick that scab off, the healing process has to start all over again.

That's what you are doing everytime you are visiting this woman again. Quit picking the scabs.
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THIS.

He should have used the ring money to buy a Harley so she can see it in the drive way but nooooooo he wants to talk. Jesus Christ man why he's prolonging the inevitable i don't get at all.
 
shagg_187 said:
RULE # 1: DO. NOT. CHASE. HER! Don't chase her and she will chase you to the extend that she will be begging you.
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I did that for two weeks, and she broke the silence with the request to come get the furniture on Sunday. She admitted missing me and thinking about me, so I asked her out for a date where we could talk without the kids around. This is where I am now, and tonight I'm just not sure if I should approach the topic of us getting back together or not.

After tonight, if I think there is no hope of us having a future, then yes I am going to ignore her and do my best to start a new life without her in it. Because I know that I can't chase her, that won't work, and I know I can't heal while being "friends only" with her.

Tonight is kind of pivotal with regard to my future. I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and tonight I have to pick a direction.
 
Mengy said:
I did that for two weeks, and she broke the silence with the request to come get the furniture on Sunday. She admitted missing me and thinking about me, so I asked her out for a date where we could talk without the kids around. This is where I am now, and tonight I'm just not sure if I should approach the topic of us getting back together or not.

After tonight, if I think there is no hope of us having a future, then yes I am going to ignore her and do my best to start a new life without her in it. Because I know that I can't chase her, that won't work, and I know I can't heal while being "friends only" with her.

Tonight is kind of pivotal with regard to my future. I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and tonight I have to pick a direction.
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What you need to do is stand her ass up tonight. Whatever you desire the outcome to be, standing her up is a win win as you'll regain some control in your life, and if she's what you really want, you'll have done more then you could have ever done groveling over dinner.

No one can save you from teh crazy, so if you want it, act like an ass!
 
Well, it's over.

It was a roller coaster of a date though. It started out very nice with the two of us just catching up over dinner, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other about the whole thing. After we ate we started to get talking about the breakup. Basically, she doesn't want to try again and I do. We ended up having a real good fight about it. Not a kicking and screaming fight, but a back and forth terse discussion about our relationship and each other. That felt good, we just layed everything out. And we both see where we made mistakes with each other over the years, we both should have done a few things differently.

At least now I have some closure. I feel like we both bared all of our feelings and I got to say some things I've wanted to for quite awhile. I think that will help me move on.
 
Mengy said:
Well, it's over.

It was a roller coaster of a date though. It started out very nice with the two of us just catching up over dinner, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other about the whole thing. After we ate we started to get talking about the breakup. Basically, she doesn't want to try again and I do. We ended up having a real good fight about it. Not a kicking and screaming fight, but a back and forth terse discussion about our relationship and each other. That felt good, we just layed everything out. And we both see where we made mistakes with each other over the years, we both should have done a few things differently.

At least now I have some closure. I feel like we both bared all of our feelings and I got to say some things I've wanted to for quite awhile. I think that will help me move on.
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If you got something out of it, it was worth it then. Hopefully your new resolve stays firm - just do whatever you have to, to help yourself move on.
 
Mengy said:
Well, it's over.

It was a roller coaster of a date though. It started out very nice with the two of us just catching up over dinner, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other about the whole thing. After we ate we started to get talking about the breakup. Basically, she doesn't want to try again and I do. We ended up having a real good fight about it. Not a kicking and screaming fight, but a back and forth terse discussion about our relationship and each other. That felt good, we just layed everything out. And we both see where we made mistakes with each other over the years, we both should have done a few things differently.

At least now I have some closure. I feel like we both bared all of our feelings and I got to say some things I've wanted to for quite awhile. I think that will help me move on.
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Good to hear man. If you both said things you wanted to say and learned the mistakes you made now in hindsite, thats great! You will take that knowledge and use it in your next relationship fully. Now its fully time to heal. Time to get back in touch with yourself. Hang out with friends. Pick up a new hobby. You'll figure it out.
 
Mengy said:
Well, it's over.

It was a roller coaster of a date though. It started out very nice with the two of us just catching up over dinner, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other about the whole thing. After we ate we started to get talking about the breakup. Basically, she doesn't want to try again and I do. We ended up having a real good fight about it. Not a kicking and screaming fight, but a back and forth terse discussion about our relationship and each other. That felt good, we just layed everything out. And we both see where we made mistakes with each other over the years, we both should have done a few things differently.

At least now I have some closure. I feel like we both bared all of our feelings and I got to say some things I've wanted to for quite awhile. I think that will help me move on.
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Good for you, now run and don't ever try to contact her, believe me, she will try to contact you again, I hope you will have the balls to just ignore her.

*Bien por ti, ahora corre y nunca trates de contactarla de nuevo, creeme, ella va a tratar de hacerlo, solo espero que tengas las bolas para ignorarla.

bailout.gif
 
Mengy said:
Well, it's over.

It was a roller coaster of a date though. It started out very nice with the two of us just catching up over dinner, joking and laughing and poking fun at each other about the whole thing. After we ate we started to get talking about the breakup. Basically, she doesn't want to try again and I do. We ended up having a real good fight about it. Not a kicking and screaming fight, but a back and forth terse discussion about our relationship and each other. That felt good, we just layed everything out. And we both see where we made mistakes with each other over the years, we both should have done a few things differently.

At least now I have some closure. I feel like we both bared all of our feelings and I got to say some things I've wanted to for quite awhile. I think that will help me move on.
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Good for you.

Find some new pussy, asap. Doesn't even have to be GF material. Have angry sex. Pull her hair. Choke her, but lightly. Finish in her face.

Go for an 18 year old.
 
gdt5016 said:
Good for you.

Find some new pussy, asap. Doesn't even have to be GF material. Have angry sex. Pull her hair. Choke her, but lightly. Finish in her face.

Go for an 18 year old.
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this sounds like me, right up to the 18 year old
 
Update. This is my version of a 1-karat princess cut silver gold band engagement ring:

IMG_0327scaled-1.jpg
 
Norwegian Wood said:
THIS.

He should have used the ring money to buy a Harley so she can see it in the drive way but nooooooo he wants to talk. Jesus Christ man why he's prolonging the inevitable i don't get at all.
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Prophetic! :lol
 
You should send her an e-mail.

Subject: Your engagement ring

Body:

Picture


And then never talk to her ever again.
 
I always have tried to look at these types of situations like this: If she essentially broke up with you for no reason, or atleast none that made sense, a marriage certainly wouldn't have worked out anyway. Yeah it sucks, and yeah you will fill shitty for a spell, but in the grand scheme of things it's ultimately better you only "wasted" 3 years of your life as opposed to the same thing happening 5-6-7+ years into the relationship(and it WOULD have happened no doubt). Reflect, learn, and move on. Hell dude, grow a beard.

The fucked up part is that once you begin to move there's a good chance she will try to get back in your life.
 
Just be glad that she revealed this facet of her being, before you got engaged.

She has the type of communication issues which could wreck a marriage, in the long-term.
 
Wow, do I have an update for this thread.

We've had some contact over the month of August, a few meetings and a few calls and texts, but she began to distance herself and then on a Friday 8-20 she really pissed me off. We were supposed to meet to go dancing but she never showed up, she had a headache and just went to bed. The thing that got me mad though is that she never called to let me know, she just went to bed. I felt disrespected, so the next day (still angry) I wrote her an email (yeah, an email) basically telling her that she killed our relationship, that I've been trying like hell to keep communicating with her and to rekindle what feelings she has lost, but that I'm the only one trying and I deserve better and she isn't worth it. I told her to go to hell, and that I was done trying. She only replied with "yes, you deserve better, but I no longer want to be that woman for you."

It was a mistake to send that email, but I had too much to say in a voice message and I didn't want to talk to her anyway, at that point I was so angry I didn't care. I had truly given up.

But that's not the biggest development.

I still didn't understand why this happened, why she broke up with me, not really. Her reasons just didn't make sense, and the not knowing WHY bothered me. So even though I had resigned myself to it being done with, I decided to do some research about women and relationships just purely out of curiosity. And somehow I stumbled upon some ebooks and videos from several different sources about the psychology of women, why women leave good men, and even how to get them to come back to you.

And now I think I know why she left me.

She lost attraction for me. Simply put, in a nutshell, that's the sole reason why she left.

She never worded it like that, she gave me several different reasons all of which really didn't seem like enough, but I think it simply boils down to she stopped feeling attracted towards me. Not physically, hell the last time we saw each other she commented on how good I looked. But emotionally. And worse yet, I believe it's actually my fault.

Basically, at some point over the last few months I stopped acting like an "alpha" male. And I can see this now. When she got laid off I pretty much put her needs in front of my own. She is an unemployed single mother, so I did that to help her out. But I began neglecting my own needs, my own house and hobbies, I worked out less often. I pretty much put my life on hold for hers. I also will admit I didn't confront her on things I didn't deem worthy of a fight. And maybe I started acting a little more wishy washy, less confident and decisive. In my mind I did this all to make her happy, but I'm afraid it had the exact opposite effect.

In short, I stopped being the man she fell in love with and started to act like a wuss. It was subtle and in good intentions, but I see it now.

And over the past few weeks I'll admit I'm feeling pretty good. Not about losing her, I'm still hurt and sad that I've lost her, but I feel good because I'm doing things for myself again. I'm working out. I'm working on my house. I'm going on all day Harley rides to places I've wanted to for some time. I joined the local HOG chapter and even a hiking club. I feel like I'm finding myself again, and I can't believe I let it get to this point. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. No wonder she lost attraction to me, I had lost it for myself in some ways, I just hadn't realized it until now.

Man, learning about female and relationship psychology is actually pretty fascinating! They should teach this kind of shit to guys in school.
 
Mengy said:
Wow, do I have an update for this thread.

We've had some contact over the month of August, a few meetings and a few calls and texts, but she began to distance herself and then on a Friday 8-20 she really pissed me off. We were supposed to meet to go dancing but she never showed up, she had a headache and just went to bed. The thing that got me mad though is that she never called to let me know, she just went to bed. I felt disrespected, so the next day (still angry) I wrote her an email (yeah, an email) basically telling her that she killed our relationship, that I've been trying like hell to keep communicating with her and to rekindle what feelings she has lost, but that I'm the only one trying and I deserve better and she isn't worth it. I told her to go to hell, and that I was done trying. She only replied with "yes, you deserve better, but I no longer want to be that woman for you."

It was a mistake to send that email, but I had too much to say in a voice message and I didn't want to talk to her anyway, at that point I was so angry I didn't care. I had truly given up.

But that's not the biggest development.

I still didn't understand why this happened, why she broke up with me, not really. Her reasons just didn't make sense, and the not knowing WHY bothered me. So even though I had resigned myself to it being done with, I decided to do some research about women and relationships just purely out of curiosity. And somehow I stumbled upon some ebooks and videos from several different sources about the psychology of women, why women leave good men, and even how to get them to come back to you.

And now I think I know why she left me.

She lost attraction for me. Simply put, in a nutshell, that's the sole reason why she left.

She never worded it like that, she gave me several different reasons all of which really didn't seem like enough, but I think it simply boils down to she stopped feeling attracted towards me. Not physically, hell the last time we saw each other she commented on how good I looked. But emotionally. And worse yet, I believe it's actually my fault.

Basically, at some point over the last few months I stopped acting like an "alpha" male. And I can see this now. When she got laid off I pretty much put her needs in front of my own. She is an unemployed single mother, so I did that to help her out. But I began neglecting my own needs, my own house and hobbies, I worked out less often. I pretty much put my life on hold for hers. I also will admit I didn't confront her on things I didn't deem worthy of a fight. And maybe I started acting a little more wishy washy, less confident and decisive. In my mind I did this all to make her happy, but I'm afraid it had the exact opposite effect.

In short, I stopped being the man she fell in love with and started to act like a wuss. It was subtle and in good intentions, but I see it now.

And over the past few weeks I'll admit I'm feeling pretty good. Not about losing her, I'm still hurt and sad that I've lost her, but I feel good because I'm doing things for myself again. I'm working out. I'm working on my house. I'm going on all day Harley rides to places I've wanted to for some time. I joined the local HOG chapter and even a hiking club. I feel like I'm finding myself again, and I can't believe I let it get to this point. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. No wonder she lost attraction to me, I had lost it for myself in some ways, I just hadn't realized it until now.

Man, learning about female and relationship psychology is actually pretty fascinating! They should teach this kind of shit to guys in school.
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Rationalizing.

It was all my fault...etc.
Let her go and get on with your life since she has clearly shown she is no longer interested in you.
 
Mengy said:
*Babble*
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Or maybe she's just a conceited bitch. Look, trying to generalize and breakdown behavior in relationships is a fool's errand. Each relationship is different. You weren't in the wrong just because you put her first. That's just not what she was looking for, but some women are looking for that. Me and my wife work because I put her first, and she puts me first. An odd complementary, but it works nicely. That doesn't make us wussies, we just have different priorities.
 
Oh, I'm not saying it was all my fault. The fact is that she gave up when times got tough, instead of working on the relationship. If she had problems with us she should have talked to me about it, not just run out and away. I don't feel she's dependable or worthy of my trust anymore.

But after reading about women psychology and the nature of thier relationships, it's interesting. Women are "hard wired" to respond certain ways to behaviors that trigger emotional responses in them. And after reading about it, I see how in the beginning my actions and attitude towards her did in fact trigger those kind of responses, but in the past few months I've been treating her just a bit differently, and I do in fact now think that the slight change in myself towards her had a profound impact on her feelings towards me. I can see it now.

I'm not trying to make excuses for her or rationalize it, I'm just saying that I do think I caused this in a way. I think that with this girl, being too nice to her made her feel that I was being needy or clingy, being a sap for her, and none of those are attractive traits to a woman.

But, in the end, she threw three years away because I was too nice to her. That's pretty much it, and that's just pathetic.
 
Mengy said:
Wow, do I have an update for this thread.

We've had some contact over the month of August, a few meetings and a few calls and texts, but she began to distance herself and then on a Friday 8-20 she really pissed me off. We were supposed to meet to go dancing but she never showed up, she had a headache and just went to bed. The thing that got me mad though is that she never called to let me know, she just went to bed. I felt disrespected, so the next day (still angry) I wrote her an email (yeah, an email) basically telling her that she killed our relationship, that I've been trying like hell to keep communicating with her and to rekindle what feelings she has lost, but that I'm the only one trying and I deserve better and she isn't worth it. I told her to go to hell, and that I was done trying. She only replied with "yes, you deserve better, but I no longer want to be that woman for you."

It was a mistake to send that email, but I had too much to say in a voice message and I didn't want to talk to her anyway, at that point I was so angry I didn't care. I had truly given up.

But that's not the biggest development.

I still didn't understand why this happened, why she broke up with me, not really. Her reasons just didn't make sense, and the not knowing WHY bothered me. So even though I had resigned myself to it being done with, I decided to do some research about women and relationships just purely out of curiosity. And somehow I stumbled upon some ebooks and videos from several different sources about the psychology of women, why women leave good men, and even how to get them to come back to you.

And now I think I know why she left me.

She lost attraction for me. Simply put, in a nutshell, that's the sole reason why she left.

She never worded it like that, she gave me several different reasons all of which really didn't seem like enough, but I think it simply boils down to she stopped feeling attracted towards me. Not physically, hell the last time we saw each other she commented on how good I looked. But emotionally. And worse yet, I believe it's actually my fault.

Basically, at some point over the last few months I stopped acting like an "alpha" male. And I can see this now. When she got laid off I pretty much put her needs in front of my own. She is an unemployed single mother, so I did that to help her out. But I began neglecting my own needs, my own house and hobbies, I worked out less often. I pretty much put my life on hold for hers. I also will admit I didn't confront her on things I didn't deem worthy of a fight. And maybe I started acting a little more wishy washy, less confident and decisive. In my mind I did this all to make her happy, but I'm afraid it had the exact opposite effect.

In short, I stopped being the man she fell in love with and started to act like a wuss. It was subtle and in good intentions, but I see it now.

And over the past few weeks I'll admit I'm feeling pretty good. Not about losing her, I'm still hurt and sad that I've lost her, but I feel good because I'm doing things for myself again. I'm working out. I'm working on my house. I'm going on all day Harley rides to places I've wanted to for some time. I joined the local HOG chapter and even a hiking club. I feel like I'm finding myself again, and I can't believe I let it get to this point. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. No wonder she lost attraction to me, I had lost it for myself in some ways, I just hadn't realized it until now.

Man, learning about female and relationship psychology is actually pretty fascinating! They should teach this kind of shit to guys in school.
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yeah pretty much sounds like you're to blame here. frankly i think shes way better off without you now, you caring guys are complete dicks.
 
Fucking christ.

First, I thought we all agreed that no more contact was the way to go?

Second, seriously, stop rationilizing, it's not LOST, there's no mystery (and no answers :D ), just let it be. It's done.
 
Yeah, I know. I tried no contact, but she'd text me, I'd call her. It went back and forth for awhile, with long gaps in between. In retrospect I think she used me as an emotional band aid of sorts to make the breakup easier for her. So in essence, I probably made it easier for her to move on from me.

I'm not proud of that. But it happened.

I deserve all of your angst guys, I was weak when I should have stuck to my guns. At least I learned some good lessons from all of this, and why the no contact rule is so important.
 
You sure there is no other guy?

Usually that is the more likely cause when someone up and ditches a long term relationship out of nowhere.
 
I don't know why, but I've had three people email me in the last week or two asking me how this thread of mine turned out. Figured I'd give it a small update just for completionist's sake.

The short version is this: all the GAF'ers in here who told me to distance myself from her, stop talking to her, and move on were 100% spot on correct.

As soon as I did that (and meant it) I met someone new who I've now been with for the past year and a half. And I'm happier than ever. Things are fucking great actually. Ironically enough, I am still friends with my ex who this thread is about. Even my new gf gets along with her. But that only happened after some time, and in order to get there I had to walk away and ignore her first.

Looking back over this thread now, two years later, and seeing the things I posted, it makes me laugh out loud. I acted so pathetic! It's true, as a man you sometimes just simply need to stand up for yourself and hold your head high no matter how hurt you are. Make you own self respect and happiness a priority, and walk away from people who treat you wrongly. If they care about you they will come back in some fashion down the road. If not, to hell with them.

Oh, and the new Harley now has over 20,000 miles on it and has been coast to coast. So glad I took that ring back, LOL!
 
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