Girl-Age assemble: she dumped me, then baked me a pie, but then dumped me again...
- Thread starter Mengy
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Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
just try to get over it. If the girl doesn't think it's a goer, then it wasnt. No matter how surprised you were, in another 3 years you'll look back on it and understand that it wasn't 'all that'.
Also, you got PIE. My girl broke it off in fucking amsterdam where we lived together. I'm a kiwi! that's mental.
Also, you got PIE. My girl broke it off in fucking amsterdam where we lived together. I'm a kiwi! that's mental.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
I had the 3 year breakup before, same thing lame excuses and (get this) taking the blame herself, it's not you it's me. That's alarm bells right away, when do women accept that responsibility othere than to baillout quickly?
Anyway she married another guy within a few months of leaving me. She never amouted to much since then so dodged a bullet there.
Anyway she married another guy within a few months of leaving me. She never amouted to much since then so dodged a bullet there.
travisbickle
Member
Mengy said:
You do know this has to be the title of your auto-biography?...or at least written on your tombstone!
Nope. Don't do this.Zozz said:
Let her go, clean and simple. 'Making someone understand' is not gonna help anyone in this situation. She's a loon, and OP needs to go ahead and take his little steps towards getting over her. "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?", roses, sonnets, and counseling sessions aren't gonna do any good...
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
catfish said:
Yeah, I keep telling myself that I'm lucky this came out before the marriage, that I dodged a bullet. But I do truly love her with all of my heart, knowing something and dealing with it are two entirely different things. I'm really going to miss her. I mean, I don't actually WANT to never see or talk to her again, but I feel like I have to do that at this point. It may be gray for her but it is black and white for me. It has to be if I'm ever going to move on without her in my life...
mescalineeyes
Banned
The pancake lady is a whore.
fwiw, I had the EXACT same thing happen to me a few weeks ago, relationship of 3 years, broke up, had sex, tried to make it work, she didn't "feel it" anymore.
I wish I had walked away with dignity just like the OP. Kudos.
fwiw, I had the EXACT same thing happen to me a few weeks ago, relationship of 3 years, broke up, had sex, tried to make it work, she didn't "feel it" anymore.
I wish I had walked away with dignity just like the OP. Kudos.
Dirtyshubb
Member
*Fixedmescalineeyes said:
kyo_daikun
Member
eternal prize said:
It was definetly Blueberry, the antioxidants and pilates effected his blood flow hence why they had makeup sex, what a dastardly plan.
speculawyer
Member
excellentJuicy Bob said:
The mushy peas represent love.
The pie represents your relationship.
The tomato sauce represents the all of the pain she caused you.
The can of Victoria Bitter represents what you should reward yourself with for walking away with dignity.
mescalineeyes
Banned
mj1108 said:
actually, yes, yes I did.
Cake, to be more exact. Chocolate cake.
Poor guy 
I'm sorry dude, can't imagine how shitty you must be feeling right now. You clearly have a lot to offer whatever woman you end up with next, so keep focusing on that. Realize that you deserve someone who is going to give you the consistent respect and love that you want, and don't settle for less
In the meantime though just try to be active, go out and do social things with friends, maybe even consider trying therapy (if you aren't over it in a reasonable amount of time). But in the long run I'm sure you can become a much better and stronger person because of this, so don't waste the opportunity to make that happen
I'm sorry dude, can't imagine how shitty you must be feeling right now. You clearly have a lot to offer whatever woman you end up with next, so keep focusing on that. Realize that you deserve someone who is going to give you the consistent respect and love that you want, and don't settle for less
In the meantime though just try to be active, go out and do social things with friends, maybe even consider trying therapy (if you aren't over it in a reasonable amount of time). But in the long run I'm sure you can become a much better and stronger person because of this, so don't waste the opportunity to make that happen
kyo_daikun
Member
mescalineeyes said:
Blueberry pie > Chocolate cake
Sorry to break it to you
mescalineeyes
Banned
kyo_daikun said:Blueberry pie > Chocolate cake
Sorry to break it to you
You know what's better than either: The tasty (and free) strawberry daiquiries I drank trying to get over it. (work in progress.)
dave is ok
aztek is ok
This sounds like she met a guy - has a little crush or whatever, and as soon as the novelty wears off she'll be begging you to take her back.
Her logic makes no sense. What if you proposed a year ago? She'd magically still love you as much as she did when you proposed? Feeling only "wane" when you don't have a pointless and arbitrary title to associate them with?
I've been with my girlfriend for seven years and we're not even engaged. There is no rule on when it's "supposed" to happen. It's only important if you decide to make it important for some reason.
Tell her she's going to regret this and then peace the fuck out.
Her logic makes no sense. What if you proposed a year ago? She'd magically still love you as much as she did when you proposed? Feeling only "wane" when you don't have a pointless and arbitrary title to associate them with?
I've been with my girlfriend for seven years and we're not even engaged. There is no rule on when it's "supposed" to happen. It's only important if you decide to make it important for some reason.
Tell her she's going to regret this and then peace the fuck out.
dave is ok
aztek is ok
You're allowed to sound bitter when the girl you've been with for three years leaves you for no reason at all and takes your de facto daughter with her.levious said:
He might as well tell her the truth, which is that she will regret it.
I'm not telling him to win her back, if you can actually read. The OP needs a closure, he needs to let himself and her know why this relationship is over. It will not only help the OP get over her but it will let that girl it's her fault and maybe she can do better in her relationships.DY_nasty said:
PetriP-TNT
Member
Remember, every time a Girl-age topic is posted 90% of GAF comes in screaming BAIL OUT without reading the topic because they took 7 years stalking a girl that got married to another man.
My advice is:
Pie.
My advice is:
Pie.
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
Zozz said:
Well, I pretty much got closure when I told her that I would never be just a friend to her, that if she didn't want to be with me then I was walking and never talking to her again. That was not what she wanted, but hey I didn't want to break up. And I did point out her pattern of pushing guys away who get to close, and especially her ex husband. When I first met her they did not get along, he would always talk down to her and be angry and act frustrated. I now totally understand why he felt that way, as I am now in the shoes he was in. That feeling of love lost and a life torn apart and the helplessness to do anything about it, it's frustrating. The difference is he couldn't just walk away, they have a daughter together. I can.
CrankyJay said:
I've never seen the show, I would laugh if it was her! Someone post a pic!
BronzeWolf
Banned
Mengy said:
Dude, you seem like a good guy that has been through many things in life, but maybe hasn't yet caught up with how women really work.
Mengy said:
This is a bullshit reason to break up. Don't believe for one second. She probably just wanted to jump ship for a while due to NOT wanting to get married but didn't have the balls to do it until now. In the other hand, she also didn't want to lose the relationship. That's my reading though, but it's what is sounds like.
Mengy said:
This is true. The problem is that you should have been able to spot it before her! Did you have any problems before the breakup?
Mengy said:
Classic Chick logic case...
Girls hate ending like a bad guy. They will spin situations and actions so they never fall into the bad guy territory. What she did was giving you a "consolation price". She knows she can use sex, but maybe a little bake can also make you not hate her, and worse, not tell your friends that she is a bitch.
Of course, life isn't as simple as that, but that's how she probably sees it.
Mengy said:
She might be beautiful (which is not her fault), intelligent (which I doubt if she has a divorce) but she is not totally awesome. What she did was not awesome. Awesome is as awesome do, dude, think about it.
It also probably started more than 3 weeks ago. You just didn't notice
Mengy said:
The wedding was not the reason she left you.
Mengy said:
Her reasons are bullshit. She is lying about the reasons. You never fought. That's probably because you failed to stood for yourself many times. That got less and less attractive to her until she finally lost all attraction to you. Fights sometimes are good, in the sense that it gives people in the relationship a chance they don't usually get, to see how much the other person is able to stand for himself.
She also sounds emotionally unavailable and suffering from girl neurosis, which is not a reason but surely heightened that.
Mengy said:
I don't think this is the reason. I don't think you should be giving it any more thought either.
Mengy said:
Here she is being honest
Mengy said:
Without knowing what your and her exes relationships were I can't comment otherwise. Maybe they all were nice guys that let themselves go with her. It's not your fault, or theirs, because this girl is effectively leading them on on relationships she is not able to pursue completely.
It's just that maybe none of you guys are giving her what she needs, not what she think she wants.
Mengy said:
She wants to have her pie and eat it too. A guy can be a friend to an ex-love interest perfectly fine, only if he is able to cope with not being able to get some with her anymore. I don't think that's possible in your situation. Handled it like a man!
Mengy said:
Very good and healthy thoughts. But I urge you to have the courage to look back objectively and try to find errors in your ways that could help you save another relationship. I am not saying you were the one to blame. I am just saying, make something good out of a bad situation.
Mengy said:
You did right man. She is not worth it because she was never honest about what she really wanted. Stand up, take the dirt off and keep on trucking
"God's Beard!"
Member
I think she lied, she wouldn't have married you then. She knew that marriage was coming up, she had a bad last marriage and her parents fought a lot. The closer marriage got to reality, the more she felt like she was falling back into the same trap, and the stress compounded on itself. She was probably freaking out.
It's entirely possible that if you said you were the sort of person that doesn't ever want to get married, she would have sympathized with you as a fellow divorcée and you could have been happy forever.
It's entirely possible that if you said you were the sort of person that doesn't ever want to get married, she would have sympathized with you as a fellow divorcée and you could have been happy forever.
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
BronzeWolf said:
You know, I've given some thought to the whole no fighting thing, and while we did have a few small spats there just weren't many moments that merited a real fight. We pretty much saw eye to eye on most things.
Looking back on things I may have done wrong though, I did often times put my own needs and chores aside to help her out. She is a single mom with alot going on, so I naturally wanted to help lessen the burden on her shoulders, so to speak. Maybe I was too kind to her? Maybe she resented the fact that I was always there to help her while she was never able to reciprocate equally? Maybe she resented the fact that she needed more help than I did, that I was strong on my own.
She is kind of a feminist, real big on woman power things and equality with men, especially in the work force. One of the reasons she left her husband was because he couldn't hold a job and was kind of a bum. Maybe she resented me for being the one with a solid job while she didn't?
God, who the hell knows. I need to stop analyzing this, it's over and I'm done wasting time. I think I'll go see Inception tonight and enjoy myself for a bit.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Din't sweat it man. Most likely it wasn't any of those reasons. It doesn't matter now.
Maybe try not to give so much when the other person is not reciprocating? Besides that, no way to know for sure
Maybe try not to give so much when the other person is not reciprocating? Besides that, no way to know for sure
Count Dookkake
Member
Could be worse.
She could've given you a creampie.
She could've given you a creampie.
Silicon Knight
Member
I don't know if I can contribute anything to this thread, but here it goes. Please excuse my grammatical and spelling errors, since English is not my native tongue.
OP, I feel you, I really do. In fact, I was in the same boat as you. I met the most wonderful girl two years ago, who just got out of another relationship. We started a relationship and I was planning on proposing to her this August, if it weren't for the fact that she left me in March. Her reasons? She wanted to be alone and she couldn't commit herself to us. And she probably wanted some different cocks, but whatever.
I felt like shit for quite some time, until I smelled the pie, so to speak. Dude, it's not your fault that she left you, it's hers, totally hers. You sound like a genuinely nice guy who has a lot to offer and with some real life experience under his belt. Some women would kill for a guy like you, you just haven't met them yet. You're awesome and she is stupid for not recognizing it.
The best advice I can give you is to love yourself and use your time alone to work on yourself. Read some good books, listen to the soundtrack of The Fountain while drinking a fine single malt, work out, learn to cook, travel some, do whatever. Above all; be confident and believe in yourself. That might sound cheesy as all hell, but it is really the best advice I can give you. The love you give to others will always be reciprocated, it always will, in some form or another. You'l see.
Best of luck!
OP, I feel you, I really do. In fact, I was in the same boat as you. I met the most wonderful girl two years ago, who just got out of another relationship. We started a relationship and I was planning on proposing to her this August, if it weren't for the fact that she left me in March. Her reasons? She wanted to be alone and she couldn't commit herself to us. And she probably wanted some different cocks, but whatever.
I felt like shit for quite some time, until I smelled the pie, so to speak. Dude, it's not your fault that she left you, it's hers, totally hers. You sound like a genuinely nice guy who has a lot to offer and with some real life experience under his belt. Some women would kill for a guy like you, you just haven't met them yet. You're awesome and she is stupid for not recognizing it.
The best advice I can give you is to love yourself and use your time alone to work on yourself. Read some good books, listen to the soundtrack of The Fountain while drinking a fine single malt, work out, learn to cook, travel some, do whatever. Above all; be confident and believe in yourself. That might sound cheesy as all hell, but it is really the best advice I can give you. The love you give to others will always be reciprocated, it always will, in some form or another. You'l see.
Best of luck!
BobTheFork
Member
STOP THE THREAD we have a bigger problem.
Cake does NOT equal pie!!!!
Cake does NOT equal pie!!!!
Moz La Punk
Member
OK, I'll try to give you real advise.
I've kinda went through this but to the extreme. Gf of 7 years, cheats on me, that's that. She was my first real love so I was crushed. Did some fucking around for half a year, she too of course since she didn't care anyway :lol
Then after half a year we get back together. How could I be so stupid? She cheated on me! But still, my love for her was still so strong... and I felt like I needed her in my life. So we actually move in together, living together for over a year... then I get cheated on again.
After a few months we start fucking AGAIN, but she instantly makes it clear that it can't ever work with us. Yes, I was a big fat pussy for doing the same girl twice (and then some more after that) even though she cheated on me. So I'm the only one to blame.
Don't make yourself go through this man. When a woman is done with you, she's done with you. You can get back together because she might have some weak moments were she misses you, or the security your relationship brought her, but in the end she'll run. Because once she has ran off once, she'll never be fully into it anymore.
It can take a good few months getting over this shit. You'll feel terrible, and might try to get over things by being the slut, and using too much alcohol and drugs. I've went through that. But once you get out of that, you'll be a better person. You'll be free again, ditched the chains she had around you. Then you'll notice you can fall in love again with other girls, girls that are worth your time.
Never go back man, never go back. You'll feel dumb as hell when the shitstorm comes around for the second or third time.
I've kinda went through this but to the extreme. Gf of 7 years, cheats on me, that's that. She was my first real love so I was crushed. Did some fucking around for half a year, she too of course since she didn't care anyway :lol
Then after half a year we get back together. How could I be so stupid? She cheated on me! But still, my love for her was still so strong... and I felt like I needed her in my life. So we actually move in together, living together for over a year... then I get cheated on again.
After a few months we start fucking AGAIN, but she instantly makes it clear that it can't ever work with us. Yes, I was a big fat pussy for doing the same girl twice (and then some more after that) even though she cheated on me. So I'm the only one to blame.
Don't make yourself go through this man. When a woman is done with you, she's done with you. You can get back together because she might have some weak moments were she misses you, or the security your relationship brought her, but in the end she'll run. Because once she has ran off once, she'll never be fully into it anymore.
It can take a good few months getting over this shit. You'll feel terrible, and might try to get over things by being the slut, and using too much alcohol and drugs. I've went through that. But once you get out of that, you'll be a better person. You'll be free again, ditched the chains she had around you. Then you'll notice you can fall in love again with other girls, girls that are worth your time.
Never go back man, never go back. You'll feel dumb as hell when the shitstorm comes around for the second or third time.
Foxy Fox 39
Banned
Mengy said:
sorry op but this part got me. :lol
But honestly it sounds like you did the right thing man. Don't beat yourself up. But I will say...there needs to be a healthy bit of challenging, otherwise things will get boring. So challenge her...for some no fighting is a good sign (and its rare two people who believe this will date) but for most it's a bad sign.
I don't know why but it's the way it is. The trick is make her crazy. Then make her crazy about you.
not necessarily in that order
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
Silicon Knight said:
Yeah, I know, I had to learn all of this when I got divorced, so I know the drill even though it's hard to accept it. I was in the middle of remodeling my house for her and her daughter to move in, so that's what I'm going to focus on for now. Although the little girl's room might now become a theater room...
mescalineeyes
Banned
That's the spirit!Mengy said:
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