Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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I had deleted Robin from my phone a few weeks back, and just got a text that might be from her (area code is in her area)

The text says "Whats ur drug again? Is it for anxiety and depression, or just anxiety?"

The "ur" also tips off that it is probably her.
 
So, here's my problem. Probably going to get some flac for this, but it's worth an attempt.

My problem is similar to this post. Quick intro. I broke up with my ex last summer (didn't officially break up, but she started seeing another guy, long story, won't explain). I felt like crap obviously. Had a family reunion/ Diwali party in which a bunch of family friends in our community came together, and I got extremely drunk with family friends, one of which was being really flirty with me. It didn't really hit me. I actually thought she was related to me at first haha. It turns out though that our parents are really close (we both had no clue) and grew up here together before I was born.

Anyways, her and I talked a bit more. She's super nice, polite, had some good values, same interests etc etc. SO I start dating her. Here's the problem though. Even though we're dating, I still feel like something is stopping me from fully liking her. When I'm hanging out with her we cuddle, make out etc etc, but some things about us is bothering me. We don't argue or anything, and she pretty much agrees with everything I say.

Is it odd that:
a) I wanted a 'challenge' before we started dating.
b) I would like her to disagree with me sometimes
c) I can't stand the super-lovey-dovey talk (ie. 'baby!', 'muahz', etc).

d) I feel pressured to stay with her because I'm afraid of disappointing my parents. (who, if you know indian parents, are extremely pleased that I'm dating an indian girl [all previous girls were asian])

Technically this girl is perfect for me. So I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being an idiot or if I have a valid point for not being attracted to her.

The two bolded ones are problems I had with previous girlfriends of mine.

This was when I was dating quiet shy types of girls. I didn't like how they never made decisions and always agreed with me. It was no fun. Lovey dovey talk is lame too, especially early on in a relationship.

I think you have valid problems, nothing to feel odd about. Don't force it to work, but maybe give it more time?

So I met this cute lovely girl this last weekend, one problem though, she is 18! and I am 24. It feels like shit, I am equally afraid of her not being mature enough(got the feeling), being in another phase of her life and people thinking that it is strange. I have always cared way to much about what other people think but can't stop.

Yeah you gotta just stop worrying about that shit. Age difference is nothing to worry about (as long as both are adult age haha). You have a point about whether she's mature enough, I avoided anyone under 20 when I was in the browsing stages since I wanted someone that at least had some established goals they were working towards, college, etc...

I'm 23, and I'm in the best relationship I've ever had and my girlfriend is 35 lol
 
Would you care to elaborate? Genuinely curious, since the idea of dating someone with a child already seems kind of off-putting, but I'm open to advice.
What is off-putting about that?

These women are generally:

1)more mature and have more patience
2)don't see you as a potential father right away, so the whole set of expectations just don't exist and don't burden you
3)have a healthy sex drive - but this is just from my experience, could be anecdotal

You don't have to do anything with the kid in most cases.

But if you want to have your own family/kids this can be problematic, I agree.
 
What is off-putting about that?

These women are generally:

1)more mature and have more patience
2)don't see you as a potential father right away, so the whole set of expectations just don't exist and don't burden you
3)have a healthy sex drive - but this is just from my experience, could be anecdotal

You don't have to do anything with the kid in most cases.

But if you want to have your own family/kids this can be problematic, I agree.
I guess that's my issue. When so many profiles open with "My kid is my most important part of my life, etc." I know that's true, but it also sort of intimidates me. Perhaps I need to do some growing myself...

I wouldn't mind having my own family someday, nor would I mind raising someone else's kid, (though I would want my own eventually) I just don't see myself being ready for that sort of thing anytime soon.
 
I'm dating Lu now, so I'm not sure what I want to do with Robin. Ignore her? Answer her question and nothing else? Start talking to her?

Ignore...If you just can't mothereffing help yourself, a one word response...or a who is this...then a one word response.

DON'T START TALKING TO HER.

Really, you should just ignore the text and go about your business. Trust us...everyone on this thread has given you the same advice.
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

You can't just tell her she needs to figure it out and let her deal with it. You need to have a heart to heart with her and she needs to decide what she wants. Why is she confused, etc.? You can't be in a relationship with someone who is still seeing her ex regularly. It's not exactly healthy, especially if the ex was a really long term one like in your case...

Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

My opinion is stay away lol.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

My gut reaction tells me the same thing. However you can't confirm the rumor; I guess what I would say is; is if she is pregnant, what kind of relationship does she still have with the father? And hopefully if she was pregnant she would be upfront with that information; bad place to start a relationship if something that major is hidden from the other party.

Its certainly doable but I've personally never heard of that kind of arrangement working out.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.
It is likely that women you know that you don't think have had abortions have had abortions. It is super common and not often discussed. I wouldn't judge a person just for being pregnant, but I would think for yourself about whether it's something you are able to handle as a potential paternal figure.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

Stupid enough to get knocked up? Come on dude.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

No, dude...just no.
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

A rational investor would short this relationship. Sorry Sanky :(
 
Should I care though? I'm about to finish Uni and she haven't even finished high school:/

What?? When does she finish HS? Next year? So then she just barely turned 18? I don't care about age differences, but I would say she is probably going to be pretty immature in the long run. I would also say go for it and see where it goes though.

So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

Are all of your recent arguments dealing with your new job and such? Does she keep in regular contact with her ex or was it just because you had an argument and all that? I agree with a poster above that said you can't just leave her be to deal with it. You have to talk about it maturely. I would also consider not taking the job if you truly truly believe she is your soul mate, but that's just me and I am way too easy.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

stay away
 
Man: Got an update for ya! The girl has deleted me from her facebook friends list out of nowhere. For some reason the add as friend button is missing and her profile looks pretty weird in general. Oh well, not like I was ever gonna see her again after this weekend :)
Write it up as another odd experience that you would otherwise be without. Sort of the opposite of mine two weeks back (she didn't reply to planned date *then* adds me on Face..).
I'm just hammering away at work/gym and will resurface once the weekend is here.

the-first-5-days-after-the-weekend-are-always-the-hardest.jpg
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

Takes two to tango...she kissed him as well...unless he forced himself on her.
 
Write it up as another odd experience that you would otherwise be without. Sort of the opposite of mine two weeks back (she didn't reply to planned date *then* adds me on Face..).
I'm just hammering away at work/gym and will resurface once the weekend is here.

http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-c...-after-the-weekend-are-always-the-hardest.jpg
Yeah that sounds about right :) Her profile looks almost like facebook has bugged out so who knows. I might still see her this weekend since we're going out so I'll gauge it then. Interestingly enough, with her I sorta got a taste of what it's like to not be single on the dance floor xD I couldn't help but notice how interested another girl seemed when this one had disappeared for a moment and I was much more relaxed because of her too at that moment. Strange :)

And that picture is so true haha. I have an exam on Tuesday and a lot of codin to do plus exam studying so that's probably gonna interfere with my clubbing. But I'm also going on a helicopter ride tomorrow! :D
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

If you refer to her as "stupid enough to get knocked up", you're doing her a favor, as well as yourself, if you stay away.
 
You can't just tell her she needs to figure it out and let her deal with it. You need to have a heart to heart with her and she needs to decide what she wants. Why is she confused, etc.? You can't be in a relationship with someone who is still seeing her ex regularly. It's not exactly healthy, especially if the ex was a really long term one like in your case...
.

Ashhong said:
Are all of your recent arguments dealing with your new job and such? Does she keep in regular contact with her ex or was it just because you had an argument and all that? I agree with a poster above that said you can't just leave her be to deal with it. You have to talk about it maturely. I would also consider not taking the job if you truly truly believe she is your soul mate, but that's just me and I am way too easy.

Well we are having a heart to heart tonight. She basically told me that she is indeed decided that she wants to be with me, but that she considers him as a best friend and will always love him or care for him as a person. The problem early on was because we ran into him, and more recently they talk seldomly over the phone. I warned her that if they hung out, he was going to try something. It happened sooner than I thought. As for the job, my heart tells me she's the one, but my head tells me to move on.

ATF487 said:
A rational investor would short this relationship. Sorry Sanky :(

Haha welp I do subscribe to the theory that markets are irrational :/
 
she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued)

Stopped here. It's incredible what women get away with nowadays. Men must really be desperate out there. Jeez. I'm trying to be as nice as possible because several people have said I come off a bit abrasive, so I'm trying to change my tone, but for fucks sake, man up people.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

My opinion is if she hasn't told you and is actively dating, she's trying to find a guy to dump it on since the original father probably bailed. This is especially true if she's being abnormally friendly, touchy, physical, very anxious to date you, etc. If you go through with this, she will say you impregnated her more than likely, so just be prepared.
 
My opinion is if she hasn't told you and is actively dating, she's trying to find a guy to dump it on since the original father probably bailed. This is especially true if she's being abnormally friendly, touchy, physical, very anxious to date you, etc. If you go through with this, she will say you impregnated her more than likely, so just be prepared.

cynical but close to to truth imo
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

Avoid that like the plague.
 
Stopped here. It's incredible what women get away with nowadays. Men must really be desperate out there. Jeez. I'm trying to be as nice as possible because several people have said I come off a bit abrasive, so I'm trying to change my tone, but for fucks sake, man up people.
I agree, that is a major red flag imho. Maybe this accident happened outside his house but I doubt it. I'd bet something happened between them in there as well. I suppose we don't have the full story but that part is suspicious.
 
Alright, what's Dating-Age's opinion on dating a pregnant girl?

She's single, smart, but stupid enough to get knocked up. At least, that's the rumour among our mutual friends. She's not showing, so I can't validate the rumour. My gut says NOPE, and that's what I'm going with, but I figured I'd get some opinions from Dating-Age, just for the sake of opinions.

lYHl9.gif
.
 
Stopped here. It's incredible what women get away with nowadays. Men must really be desperate out there. Jeez. I'm trying to be as nice as possible because several people have said I come off a bit abrasive, so I'm trying to change my tone, but for fucks sake, man up people.

Well she has nobody else in this town aside from flimsy druggie friends, she got cut really bad, so she went to him. The reason it wasn't a break up moment for me then is because I know what I have to offer versus him, so I didn't see him as a threat. The break up moment for me is when she says she wants to be with me, but is still confused about things.
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

Be very careful here. Don't do anything rash, but don't be a push over.

She might be confused...Certainly, but she also needs to make a decision (especially if this has been going on since Jan.). You deserve a women who wants you. Not confused.

There should be very little confusion about someone who you are going to live with and possibly getting married. (Some confusion sure, but "I don't know what I want").
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

As a minimum she needs to agree to not contact her ex ever again. She clearly cannot be "just friends" with him, even if he kissed her (though I agree that she is at fault as well, you know when someone is going to kiss you and can stop it, as long as you want to). An honest, open conversation needs to happen, and if she can't confirm that she doesn't have feelings for her ex anymore, you need to bail out. There are going to be trust issues here now, and she will need to prove to you that you can trust her again. That will come with time and hard work.
 
I'm at the doctors office right now and there's his girl who's made eye contact with me a few times, would it be weird to ask her out?

I mean considering the setting.
 
So I just started a new job and kind of hit it off with this other girl....
...then I saw her twitter......mind blown :'(.........I'm not getting with her unless I get a
big black cock.
Ah well, at least I'm finding it hilarious.
 
So I'm here to hand over my Dating-advice card...

Been dating the same girl for 10 months, and she's had several dedicated threads on gaf already. One was a thread on how to deal with someone who deals with problems through weed/alcohol, and a previous one about the following recurring situation.

She has been the only girl I've truly loved, and my soul mate. It's like I'm dating myself, but with an even better sense of humor. Best sex of my life, and nobody has shown me love like she has. She's the girl I would want to see the world with, and raise children with... etc etc you get the point.

With that said, seems like we are breaking up. We were planning to move in together in October, and move to another city in May when her lease ends. However, I have an opportunity at work in another city that may happen sooner, but she doesn't want to move just yet. Friday night we argued, and Saturday morning she had a bit of an accident but went to the ex's house instead of mine (since we had argued). Nothing happened then, but Sunday night the ex went to her house and professed that he still loved her and wanted her back. He kissed her, and she came crying to me. She swears that she loves me, does not want to be with him, but is confused. She told me that maybe she'll always love him, but is not in love with him. They dated for 4 years, and she says he is her best friend. I met her 4 months after they broke up.

I told her she needs to figure out what the hell it is she's missing, or what keeps her hung up on him. I want to give her time, but this happened back in January, I don't know what sign to look for to know that she's truly over the guy. I used to be practical when it came to women, but not this one.

She needs to cut ties with the ex. If she doesn't want to cut ties with the ex, then GTFO. Sorry that you feel like she's your soul mate and all that, but she can't be friends with someone who still actively loves her and wants her as a lover. It'll end worse for you if this jackoff continues to be in her life.
 
So I was wondering if GAF could help me with a little problem I have created for myself. This Tuesday me and my girlfriend have been together for a month (yeah I know, not a long time but we've been very close before that for 3 years). Anyway, I told her that the following weekend we would do something special however I have no idea what to do lol. If it helps, we're in London and she's not the type of girl that loves classy restaraunts so i'm not too sure what to go with, any help would be appreciated!
 
So I was wondering if GAF could help me with a little problem I have created for myself. This Tuesday me and my girlfriend have been together for a month (yeah I know, not a long time but we've been very close before that for 3 years). Anyway, I told her that the following weekend we would do something special however I have no idea what to do lol. If it helps, we're in London and she's not the type of girl that loves classy restaraunts so i'm not too sure what to go with, any help would be appreciated!


Cook her a dinner. Shit always works.
 
So I was wondering if GAF could help me with a little problem I have created for myself. This Tuesday me and my girlfriend have been together for a month (yeah I know, not a long time but we've been very close before that for 3 years). Anyway, I told her that the following weekend we would do something special however I have no idea what to do lol. If it helps, we're in London and she's not the type of girl that loves classy restaraunts so i'm not too sure what to go with, any help would be appreciated!

You know what you'll never hear a woman say?

"I broke up with my boyfriend I love, he was amazing, but he messed up our 1 month anniversary"

In other words, women don't care about this crap. Cook her dinner, take her to a candlelight dinner, or don't do anything. It won't make a difference in the long run. I'm sure the women here will disagree but it's the truth. Not doing anything is the safest thing, but if you're really set on making every month a special occasion, then just try not to overdo it and make it cheesy.
 
Vent time, went out with the girl i'd been seeing recently and a friend she brought along. We had a pretty good time but we never really got close or physical although we did have a lot of eye-contact and lots of smiles going around. I'd like to think it was out of respect to her (female) friend who she brought along but physical attraction just seems to be fading. When we rode home her friend had to take an earlier turn so we finally had time to say goodbye to each other with just the two of us since she was going away on vacation for a week but we just said goodbye on the bike and she didn't open herself up to a kiss or anything at all because she just kept riding on. I was kinda drunk at the time so I sent some drunk texts since I figured it didn't really matter at that point anyway with me not having kissed her in a while and her not opening up to it. I don't want to just be friends with her but reading them back sober makes me sound like a total dumb creeper.

The strange thing is she did mention a room in the city we're both studying in and how if she got the room out we might stay in it together. This might sound like living together but in my country there's no campus/dorms so you just gotta find a room to rent with random people or someone you know.

I keep wondering if we just need to find ourselves in a position where something physical might happen again but at the same time I felt like last night was a great opportunity.

And now this is might raise some serious red flags but she's always had a history of being... promiscious. Now I thought she'd gotten better and I don't think it's as bad as it used to be but let's just say I feel like I might be competing with atleast one other guy. We don't have a relationship or anything even close to that so I don't mind that but does anyone have any tips about how a girl like that likes to be treated? Even though she can be a little cold sometimes teasing her/making cynical remarks about her tends to get to her fairly quickly so I don't think that's the way to go. It ain't exactly Romeo and Julliet but I still like her and would like to make...whatever the hell it is...work.

Fuck I just wanted a girl to spend time with this summer which seemed like fun but due to all this bullshit and our holidays overlapping it didn't exactly work out. She's going off to college this year where she's probably going to get fucked every way so if I don't make my move soon I'm probably gonna have to let her go.
 
Vent time, went out with the girl i'd been seeing recently and a friend she brought along. We had a pretty good time but we never really got close or physical although we did have a lot of eye-contact and lots of smiles going around. I'd like to think it was out of respect to her (female) friend who she brought along but physical attraction just seems to be fading. When we rode home her friend had to take an earlier turn so we finally had time to say goodbye to each other with just the two of us since she was going away on vacation for a week but we just said goodbye on the bike and she didn't open herself up to a kiss or anything at all because she just kept riding on. I was kinda drunk at the time so I sent some drunk texts since I figured it didn't really matter at that point anyway with me not having kissed her in a while and her not opening up to it. I don't want to just be friends with her but reading them back sober makes me sound like a total dumb creeper.

The strange thing is she did mention a room in the city we're both studying in and how if she got the room out we might stay in it together. This might sound like living together but in my country there's no campus/dorms so you just gotta find a room to rent with random people or someone you know.

I keep wondering if we just need to find ourselves in a position where something physical might happen again but at the same time I felt like last night was a great opportunity.

And now this is might raise some serious red flags but she's always had a history of being... promiscious. Now I thought she'd gotten better and I don't think it's as bad as it used to be but let's just say I feel like I might be competing with atleast one other guy. We don't have a relationship or anything even close to that so I don't mind that but does anyone have any tips about how a girl like that likes to be treated? Even though she can be a little cold sometimes teasing her/making cynical remarks about her tends to get to her fairly quickly so I don't think that's the way to go. It ain't exactly Romeo and Julliet but I still like her and would like to make...whatever the hell it is...work.

Fuck I just wanted a girl to spend time with this summer which seemed like fun but due to all this bullshit and our holidays overlapping it didn't exactly work out. She's going off to college this year where she's probably going to get fucked every way so if I don't make my move soon I'm probably gonna have to let her go.

Just tell her you want to fuck before she leaves. She doesn't like you that much since she brought her friend, so just let this one go. It'll never become anything serious.
 
You know what you'll never hear a woman say?

"I broke up with my boyfriend I love, he was amazing, but he messed up our 1 month anniversary"

In other words, women don't care about this crap. Cook her dinner, take her to a candlelight dinner, or don't do anything. It won't make a difference in the long run. I'm sure the women here will disagree but it's the truth. Not doing anything is the safest thing, but if you're really set on making every month a special occasion, then just try not to overdo it and make it cheesy.

To be honest, and I should've probably posted this at first, but the whole 1 month thing isn't a big deal. I wanted to do something because last weekend we had our first argument (pretty big actually) and we don't get much time to ourselves as most of the time we're out with her best friend and her boyfriend.

On the topic of cooking dinner, any suggestions as to a good romantic meal? I'm a good cook but terrible when it comes to choosing what to cook lol.
 
To be honest, and I should've probably posted this at first, but the whole 1 month thing isn't a big deal. I wanted to do something because last weekend we had our first argument (pretty big actually) and we don't get much time to ourselves as most of the time we're out with her best friend and her boyfriend.

Ah got it...in one of these cases, just a fun night out and a heart to heart talk at a restaurant when you're slightly intoxicated usually does it for me. I can't cook though, so I have no idea what she'd be into.
 
Vent time, went out with the girl i'd been seeing recently and a friend she brought along. We had a pretty good time but we never really got close or physical although we did have a lot of eye-contact and lots of smiles going around. I'd like to think it was out of respect to her (female) friend who she brought along but physical attraction just seems to be fading. When we rode home her friend had to take an earlier turn so we finally had time to say goodbye to each other with just the two of us since she was going away on vacation for a week but we just said goodbye on the bike and she didn't open herself up to a kiss or anything at all because she just kept riding on. I was kinda drunk at the time so I sent some drunk texts since I figured it didn't really matter at that point anyway with me not having kissed her in a while and her not opening up to it. I don't want to just be friends with her but reading them back sober makes me sound like a total dumb creeper.

The strange thing is she did mention a room in the city we're both studying in and how if she got the room out we might stay in it together. This might sound like living together but in my country there's no campus/dorms so you just gotta find a room to rent with random people or someone you know.

I keep wondering if we just need to find ourselves in a position where something physical might happen again but at the same time I felt like last night was a great opportunity.

And now this is might raise some serious red flags but she's always had a history of being... promiscious. Now I thought she'd gotten better and I don't think it's as bad as it used to be but let's just say I feel like I might be competing with atleast one other guy. We don't have a relationship or anything even close to that so I don't mind that but does anyone have any tips about how a girl like that likes to be treated? Even though she can be a little cold sometimes teasing her/making cynical remarks about her tends to get to her fairly quickly so I don't think that's the way to go. It ain't exactly Romeo and Julliet but I still like her and would like to make...whatever the hell it is...work.

Fuck I just wanted a girl to spend time with this summer which seemed like fun but due to all this bullshit and our holidays overlapping it didn't exactly work out. She's going off to college this year where she's probably going to get fucked every way so if I don't make my move soon I'm probably gonna have to let her go.

Are you 100% sure it was a date and not just friends hanging out? The quote about finding a room together sounds more like friends and not more-than-friends.

Don't keep wondering if you'll find yourself in a position to make something more happen - just make something more happen! If you're interested in her then go for it. It will make it very obvious if she's interested in you or not. If she is, great. If not, move on.
 
So I was wondering if GAF could help me with a little problem I have created for myself. This Tuesday me and my girlfriend have been together for a month (yeah I know, not a long time but we've been very close before that for 3 years). Anyway, I told her that the following weekend we would do something special however I have no idea what to do lol. If it helps, we're in London and she's not the type of girl that loves classy restaraunts so i'm not too sure what to go with, any help would be appreciated!

You live in London! Go to the British Museum, the National Gallery, a play at the Globe or elsewhere, a concert, an opera, a cycle ride or picnic at Hyde Park, etc. etc. You have so many options it's not even funny.


Well she has nobody else in this town aside from flimsy druggie friends, she got cut really bad, so she went to him. The reason it wasn't a break up moment for me then is because I know what I have to offer versus him, so I didn't see him as a threat. The break up moment for me is when she says she wants to be with me, but is still confused about things.


Listen, it's not about what you "have to offer." That shit doesn't matter -- emotions don't care about stuff like that. I understand that people make mistakes, but this whole situation is a really bad sign.

I think you should take the new work opportunity and move.

There will be another woman. I thought I was doomed after my girlfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me. A year later, and I'm doing better than ever, truly. I haven't had a relationship since then, but there's no reason for me to think I won't find someone. You will meet a new girl, one won't go to her ex instead of you just because you had a fight.
 
I appreciate all the advice GAF, really didn't know who to turn to on this one.

I am meeting with her at 5:30 and I agree that she needs to come clean with everything. I will update you guys with what happens.
 
Vent time, went out with the girl i'd been seeing recently and a friend she brought along. We had a pretty good time but we never really got close or physical although we did have a lot of eye-contact and lots of smiles going around. I'd like to think it was out of respect to her (female) friend who she brought along but physical attraction just seems to be fading. When we rode home her friend had to take an earlier turn so we finally had time to say goodbye to each other with just the two of us since she was going away on vacation for a week but we just said goodbye on the bike and she didn't open herself up to a kiss or anything at all because she just kept riding on. I was kinda drunk at the time so I sent some drunk texts since I figured it didn't really matter at that point anyway with me not having kissed her in a while and her not opening up to it. I don't want to just be friends with her but reading them back sober makes me sound like a total dumb creeper.

The strange thing is she did mention a room in the city we're both studying in and how if she got the room out we might stay in it together. This might sound like living together but in my country there's no campus/dorms so you just gotta find a room to rent with random people or someone you know.

I keep wondering if we just need to find ourselves in a position where something physical might happen again but at the same time I felt like last night was a great opportunity.

And now this is might raise some serious red flags but she's always had a history of being... promiscious. Now I thought she'd gotten better and I don't think it's as bad as it used to be but let's just say I feel like I might be competing with atleast one other guy. We don't have a relationship or anything even close to that so I don't mind that but does anyone have any tips about how a girl like that likes to be treated? Even though she can be a little cold sometimes teasing her/making cynical remarks about her tends to get to her fairly quickly so I don't think that's the way to go. It ain't exactly Romeo and Julliet but I still like her and would like to make...whatever the hell it is...work.

Fuck I just wanted a girl to spend time with this summer which seemed like fun but due to all this bullshit and our holidays overlapping it didn't exactly work out. She's going off to college this year where she's probably going to get fucked every way so if I don't make my move soon I'm probably gonna have to let her go.

Never, ever pan your future with the someone you haven't even dated.
That should never affect your living plans, especially when you're just hoping there'll be an occasional booty call.
 
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