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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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Yaceka said:
I'll admit I make a mean parfait.


I was waiting for silver originally too but the blue is absolutely gorgeous. Probably the best looking handheld I've ever owned. The 3D on the XL has a smaller viewing angle than the OG 3DS, but it looks awesome when you're in the sweet spot.

Also, why is GayGAF so dead at the moment? I'm pulling an all nighter because of my sleep schedule got out of wack and I wanna fix it. The problem is that I pulled a muscle or something in my leg and it hurts like a bitch to walk, so I'm stuck in bed. There's nothing to do besides play 3DS and read GAF but no one is on here. :(

...I must persevere and stay awake...
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Arrr.. I want to go out and buy one now but I kind of have a feeling my husband is going to get me one for my birthday although i could definitely be wrong. I don't even remember being this hyped up for the original 3DS release (or the DS one for that matter) its just too perfect.

As for GayGAF, its always gone up and down.. probably a lot of people are starting college this week so they're busy.
 
Rm88~ said:
What. I've spent countless hours playing Street Fighter, Shinobi, Dead or Alive, Mutant Mudds, Tetris Axis, etc. (plus lots of VC and DS games) with no problem since launch. I actually like it better now than the d-pad on my DS Lite, and I can pull off some combos more easily on 3DS than on PC (with a beautiful HoriPad 3 controller, of course) in SSFIV.

But the real question would be, what's the difference? The location seems identical, is it not clicky anymore?
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The 3DS XL is a bit longer so I can actually grip onto the 3DS and use the d-pad for long periods of time. I have huge hands though, so maybe it's just me but the normal 3DS would make me play terrible in anything with precision and would make my hands hurt after 15+ minutes. The d-pad itself feels like the DSi d-pad, but diagonals are a little bit easier than a DSi.

Bel Marduk said:
Arrr.. I want to go out and buy one now but I kind of have a feeling my husband is going to get me one for my birthday although i could definitely be wrong. I don't even remember being this hyped up for the original 3DS release (or the DS one for that matter) its just too perfect.

As for GayGAF, its always gone up and down.. probably a lot of people are starting college this week so they're busy.
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Don't mention college or I will have a meltdown. I wish I was so busy with school... *goes to cry in corner*
 
Aloha, GayGaf.

Thought I might as well post since I've been lurking this thread and the previous one for so long. :P

I'm still for the most part closeted, but only because I'm not sure I see the point of coming out. I'm not really one for excess drama.

I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?

For me, it was never really a question. At around age 10, a friend of mine showed me some porn with a naked chick, and I just remember being all "that's what a vagina looks like? :<"

Also, all this talk about the 3ds XL makes me wish even more that NoA would hurry up with the good colours already. (No offence to the silver/red/blue owners :p)
 
Zajora said:
Aloha, GayGaf.

Thought I might as well post since I've been lurking this thread and the previous one for so long. :P

I'm still for the most part closeted, but only because I'm not sure I see the point of coming out. I'm not really one for excess drama.

I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?

For me, it was never really a question. At around age 10, a friend of mine showed me some porn with a naked chick, and I just remember being all "that's what a vagina looks like? :<"

Also, all this talk about the 3ds XL makes me wish even more that NoA would hurry up with the good colours already. (No offence to the silver/red/blue owners :p)
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I watched gay porn, and I liked it.

Either I stumbled upon it or was curious since I had only seen straight porn.
 
SpaceBridge said:
I dunno dude, im 34 years old, same generation as you. I fell in "love" with my best friend when I was 16. I didnt know I was in love with him until it hit me one night and i undestood what my feelings for him were, and what those others feelings I had had for men: i was gay. I broke down and cried because of this revelation. It was both a relief to finnaly understand it but to also fear them. But I knew I was gay. I dont think I was any more self aware than you though. I mean, I didnt have my first sexual encounter with another man until I was in college, much like yourself (yay for handjob?) But, and please dont be offended because Im trying to understand your experience, how could you don see that your gay even as your getting sucked off by your dream-bear-man? What mental hoops was your brain going through to make you "not see" what you were?
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Not offended at all :) I realize my situation is probably hard to understand for most of you that came out so young. I've done a lot of research around the Net of late on this, and I'm definitely not alone. There are dudes that came out in their 50's and even 60's, guys that have had marriages (in some case multiple marriages), children, even grandchildren, and all the while they are choosing to either ignore or otherwise not acknowledge their gay-ness, until one day they just came sashaying out of the closet, wearing a feather boa and waving a rainbow flag, yelling "This is ME! This is WHO I AM!!"

As for mental hoops, I don't know how else to describe it except to say it just wasn't something I thought about a lot. I really don't know why. I knew I was gay, from an early age even, but for whatever reason it was extremely easy for me to just ignore it and pretend I wasn't to the outside world. I regret it, sure, but at the same time my experience has made me who I am today, and I'm 100% secure inside my skin and happy with the path my life has taken.
 
Diseased Yak said:
Not offended at all :) I realize my situation is probably hard to understand for most of you that came out so young. I've done a lot of research around the Net of late on this, and I'm definitely not alone. There are dudes that came out in their 50's and even 60's, guys that have had marriages (in some case multiple marriages), children, even grandchildren, and all the while they are choosing to either ignore or otherwise not acknowledge their gay-ness, until one day they just came sashaying out of the closet, wearing a feather boa and waving a rainbow flag, yelling "This is ME! This is WHO I AM!!"

As for mental hoops, I don't know how else to describe it except to say it just wasn't something I thought about a lot. I really don't know why. I knew I was gay, from an early age even, but for whatever reason it was extremely easy for me to just ignore it and pretend I wasn't to the outside world. I regret it, sure, but at the same time my experience has made me who I am today, and I'm 100% secure inside my skin and happy with the path my life has taken.
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So gangbang next week?
 
Zajora said:
Aloha, GayGaf.


I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
Click to expand...

Last year of elementary school I liked a boy, was around 10 then-11, and the first year of middle school was when I really knew I was gay. Took me 11 more years to come to terms with it though, 22 now and came out in January.

That said, cocktail night tonight, woooooooo.
 
some guy started messaging me on growlr. he actually seems kind of cute, so i thought i'd go for a hookup. he's been super impatient and insistent we meet asap though, which is really weirding me out. he was going to cancel plans yesterday to meet up with me, so i said no and that we could just meet up on the weekend. he probably asked me to meet up a million times already in 2 days. today, i am meeting him for lunch, since he works pretty close to me (ugh, that could end up bad). he offered his phone number to me yesterday, so i felt awkward about not giving him mine. i kind of wish i didn't, since his extreme eagerness to meet could prove to be an early sign of craziness.

i don't mind meeting him for lunch, because i don't JUST want hookups, but i'm not really expecting this to become a relationship. it started off as just a "hey, we should meet up at my place" kind of hookup thing, but then he obviously wanted to meet for lunch/coffee/etc so i think he wants more.

he's 29, so the age gap isn't too bad, though it's probably at my upper limit for a relationship. i just really hope he's not crazy, gaf. he invited me to go to a pub for jack laytons deathday yesterday (already weird since we've never met and had just started talking the day before), and has also invited me to go to pride calgary with him at some bar next weekend.

am i in for a treat of crazy stalking? am i overreacting? i hope this guy has more going on in his life and i don't unknowingly become the centre of it.
 
Mystic Theurge said:
So after how many dates would exclusivity be expected? Would sex change that answer?
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exclusivity shoud only be expected when you actually arrange and verbally negotiate it with the partner in question.

no ammount of dates or sex will make it clear unless you two talk about it.
 
Zajora said:
I'm still for the most part closeted, but only because I'm not sure I see the point of coming out. I'm not really one for excess drama.

I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
Click to expand...

Hrmph. Coming out doesn't have to lead to drama -- there are many factors which can play into how the information is received by everyone. I gave my "blanket" reasoning why people should come out a several pages back, but someone actually managed to be offended by it, so yeah, not getting into that again...

Myself, I was aware of my attraction to other guys from a fairly young age, but didn't understand what it meant for quite a while and didn't want to accept the fact for even longer (like Yak, I grew up in religious surroundings). Managed to develop a crush on one girl in high school, but that was the extent of my sexuality. Didn't come out until I was 28 (hey look, the thread is still on GAF) and only had my first experiences of any kind a couple of years ago at 32.
 
btkadams said:
some guy started messaging me on growlr. he actually seems kind of cute, so i thought i'd go for a hookup. he's been super impatient and insistent we meet asap though, which is really weirding me out. he was going to cancel plans yesterday to meet up with me, so i said no and that we could just meet up on the weekend. he probably asked me to meet up a million times already in 2 days. today, i am meeting him for lunch, since he works pretty close to me (ugh, that could end up bad). he offered his phone number to me yesterday, so i felt awkward about not giving him mine. i kind of wish i didn't, since his extreme eagerness to meet could prove to be an early sign of craziness.

i don't mind meeting him for lunch, because i don't JUST want hookups, but i'm not really expecting this to become a relationship. it started off as just a "hey, we should meet up at my place" kind of hookup thing, but then he obviously wanted to meet for lunch/coffee/etc so i think he wants more.

he's 29, so the age gap isn't too bad, though it's probably at my upper limit for a relationship. i just really hope he's not crazy, gaf. he invited me to go to a pub for jack laytons deathday yesterday (already weird since we've never met and had just started talking the day before), and has also invited me to go to pride calgary with him at some bar next weekend.

am i in for a treat of crazy stalking? am i overreacting? i hope this guy has more going on in his life and i don't unknowingly become the centre of it.
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Nothing you've said strikes me as crazy, but I have no contact with him. If your gut says something is off there's nothing wrong with being wary.
 
Trigger said:
Nothing you've said strikes me as crazy, but I have no contact with him. If your gut says something is off there's nothing wrong with being wary.
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i guess i tend to be a bit nervous/stand-offish about meeting strangers, so it just strikes me as almost abrasive for someone to be so stoked to meet someone they haven't met and know little about. for me, if i don't know you, you're not really a priority and i'll fit you in when i feel like it. i know that's selfish to say, but i just find myself with so little time these days so i actively seek out time alone to work on music. this guy wanting to meet up asap, at any cost, just makes it seem like this is going to be added work/stress that i don't care enough for. i already have enough people i have to say no to (not saying i have more than any normal amount, but that it happens enough to irritate me).

oh well, i should just wait to find out. 2 hrs until i meet with him.
 
btkadams said:
i guess i tend to be a bit nervous/stand-offish about meeting strangers, so it just strikes me as almost abrasive for someone to be so stoked to meet someone they haven't met and know little about. for me, if i don't know you, you're not really a priority and i'll fit you in when i feel like it. i know that's selfish to say, but i just find myself with so little time these days so i actively seek out time alone to work on music. this guy wanting to meet up asap, at any cost, just makes it seem like this is going to be added work/stress that i don't care enough for. i already have enough people i have to say no to (not saying i have more than any normal amount, but that it happens enough to irritate me).

oh well, i should just wait to find out. 2 hrs until i meet with him.
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so suspicious.
 
btkadams said:
i guess i tend to be a bit nervous/stand-offish about meeting strangers, so it just strikes me as almost abrasive for someone to be so stoked to meet someone they haven't met and know little about. for me, if i don't know you, you're not really a priority and i'll fit you in when i feel like it. i know that's selfish to say, but i just find myself with so little time these days so i actively seek out time alone to work on music. this guy wanting to meet up asap, at any cost, just makes it seem like this is going to be added work/stress that i don't care enough for. i already have enough people i have to say no to (not saying i have more than any normal amount, but that it happens enough to irritate me).

oh well, i should just wait to find out. 2 hrs until i meet with him.
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I know how you feel (except I tend to be overwhelmingly modest). He could be very horny or a little desperate. Play it cool and assess things.
 
Asked this on the Skype chat: but for those of you who trim your chest hair, what clipper setting do you use? I want that "scruffy" look, not smooth or prickly look.
 
Zajora said:
I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
Click to expand...

Hmm, probably when I stumbled upon gay porn and realized I liked it a lot, at about age 13 I'd say. I only came to term with my sexuality about six months ago though, I'm 22.
 
Cosmic Bus said:
Hrmph. Coming out doesn't have to lead to drama -- there are many factors which can play into how the information is received by everyone. I gave my "blanket" reasoning why people should come out a several pages back, but someone actually managed to be offended by it, so yeah, not getting into that again..
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I know, I read it. :) (I hope you don't mind me responding to this anyway)

Cosmic Bus said:
Avoidance and self-efficacy.

You don't do this to get something out of it, nor is it about putting your personal life on display. Coming out is about honesty, acceptance (both of yourself and allowing others the opportunity to do the same) and not keeping yourself hidden away. My parents don't really need to hear about My Gay Life, but I didn't want to continue having them believe I was something I am not.

Whether or not you think your family or friends will be supportive is almost irrelevant; if you can't freely live as the person you are or want to be, then you're basically giving intolerance more fuel for the fire.
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I agree with this, to an extent, but I also don't believe the fact I don't out myself to many people implicates that I'm not accepting myself. If I felt like I was being repressed or that I was living a lie or any of that, I would probably not hesitate to out myself entirely, but I just don't see how what I'm sexually attracted to is relevant to other people most of the time. The only reason it is relevant for gay people right now is because in all likelyhood, they grew up under the default assumption (their own assumption as well as others') that they will turn out to be heterosexual. Eventually, I have to imagine society will have progressed to a point where you wouldn't be expected to "come out" as a homosexual any more than you would "come out" to your parents as a heterosexual in today's world. Perhaps at that point, the gender of a person's partner would be just another aspect of the person they are in a relationship with, instead of forming such a large part of both people's identity as a whole.

That turned out a bit more incoherent-rambly-ish than I'd been hoping for, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think people should treat being gay the same way people treat being straight. Of course I understand some people think it's important for the world to all know and recognize them - why else would there be pride parades? - but I don't think that's really the way to get treated as just another group of people.

(I've got to leave for work soon, so sorry for the lack of thought in this post :p)
 
Zajora said:
I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
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I knew I was gay when I was a teen and had feelings for my best friend. But earlier than that, when I was 8 or 9 I fooled around with my neighbors teen son. I don't remember how old he was, just that we used to kiss under his covers in his bedroom.
 
You're going to be kidnapped and locked in his basement.
kidding

SpaceBridge said:
I knew I was gay when I was a teen and had feelings for my best friend. But earlier than that, when I was 8 or 9 I fooled around with my neighbors teen son. I don't remember how old he was, just that we used to kiss under his covers in his bedroom.
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Similar experience, but I really never took the time to ponder it. I just knew how I felt.
 
Trigger said:
You're going to be kidnapped and locked in his basement.
kidding
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That's for the second date. For now btk, you should make sure the guy doesn't try to grab your napkin to use for a DNA sample. Don't let him touch you either, he's probably trying to plant a tracking device. And when he starts making conversation, don't respond to anything he says. He's collecting data of your speech patterns for when he needs to impersonate you over the phone.
 
SpaceBridge said:
I knew I was gay when I was a teen and had feelings for my best friend. But earlier than that, when I was 8 or 9 I fooled around with my neighbors teen son. I don't remember how old he was, just that we used to kiss under his covers in his bedroom.
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I beat you. I kissed a boy when I was around ~6.
 
Zajora said:
I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
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I came out to my family when I was 17 (I told them I was bi at first). I've known I've liked dudes since I was... man, somewhere around 6 or so--maybe younger. I have a few select memories, but the timeline's muddled. I just know I was aware for a long time.

Honestly, though, I was a pretty carefree and sheltered kid. I didn't know anything about homosexuality or that it was a thing. I just thought some people were that way (merely because I was and had never seen anything close to two dudes doing anything together) and some weren't and that was that. I did actually tell my friend I liked dudes when I was 12-13 first. Her love for yaoi made it easy to tell her. I'm glad I had her around during my school life.
 
Zajora said:
I feel like I should be contributing something to the thread other than just my little declaration, so how about I ask how/when ya'll knew you weren't straight & narrow?
Click to expand...

When I started watching porn (back then my main source was my cousin's collection) I quickly realized that I was skipping/fast-forwarding girls-only parts (both in videos and photos) just to get to the parts with guys. I also had a crush on few male actors back then.

However, just like Yak, I just didn't think about that until recently. Being asocial introvert probably helped a lot with that. :P
 
dragonlife said:
Honestly, though, I was a pretty carefree and sheltered kid. I didn't know anything about homosexuality or that it was a thing. I just thought some people were that way (merely because I was and had never seen anything close to two dudes doing anything together) and some weren't and that was that.
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Minus the carefree part, that's how I was too. When I was in the fifth grade, a school counsellor came in and gave all of the boys in my class an extremely censored, watered down sex talk. At one point, the counsellor told us that we've likely all had thoughts of sex and have been interested in girls. Naturally, since I was ten (although I suppose that doesn't mean much given everybody else's stories) my thoughts of sex involved a man and a woman undressing to their underwear (the woman would always leave for the bathroom at this point, because, you know, undressing in front of people isn't appropriate) and then kissing until my brain automatically faded to black. Surprisingly enough, I found these dreams incredibly boring, and I decided that if that was how sex was, I wasn't interested in it nor girls in general. I wasn't attracted to any boys either, for that matter, but I was big into logic puzzles at the time, so I deduced that if I didn't like women I must like men. I wasn't aware of homosexuality, or even sexuality in general, at that point, so I just considered it a cool thing about me, similar to the fact that I'm left-handed.


This is such an incredibly stupid story, so I might delete it later.
 
lunch said:
When I was in the fifth grade...
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Oh, man, that reminds me... I remember being in the fifth grade and still not knowing how babies were made. A friend had an anatomy book and was telling me that my parents made me like that and I was so offended because it was gross, haha. In my mind I was basically thinking, "My parents would never do that!"

QQ

I also thought you got pregnant when you got married and kissed. Thanks, novelas.
 
dragonlife said:
Oh, man, that reminds me... I remember being in the fifth grade and still not knowing how babies were made. A friend had an anatomy book and was telling me that my parents made me like that and I was so offended because it was gross, haha. In my mind I was basically thinking, "My parents would never do that!"

QQ

I also thought you got pregnant when you got married and kissed. Thanks, novelas.
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I wasn't that bad, mostly because my mom checked out a series of books to ensure that the idea was firmly cemented in my head. There was one book that talked about different penis shapes, and there was an image of a man in the shower, and a character walked by asking for directions. In the next panel, the man's penis was pointing right and the character thanked him for the help.

It was fairly traumatic.
 
dragonlife said:
I also thought you got pregnant when you got married and kissed. Thanks, novelas.
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Hahaha! Me too (except for the novelas :P).
I used to think that because that's what my parents told me when I asked where do babies come from.

And when they kissed in front of me, I always yelled: "Stop! I don't want a brother!"

lunch said:
You were already kissing boys by that point. You didn't even need the talk.
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You would think... but I still might need that talk D: ... someone PM me the details, plz!
 
it's weird when you meet someone for the first time and already know what they look like naked. i'm still not used to that.

i'm back from lunch. i still have all of my organs. this was actually the first "date" i've had since my ex that actually went decently well. i think i understand more about why he was so eager. he's moved around a lot and used to work up north on the rigs. i'm thinking that he might not have a huge circle of friends, so he's wanting someone to hang out with. he even talked about how he travels a lot with work and may have to move up north fulltime in a few months, so at least i don't have to worry about him wanting a relationship.

i can't say i'm opposed to hanging out with him, because he was actually fun to talk to. we are definitely different in areas, but not to the point where our personalities collide. at least, not yet. he happens to like two and a half men, big brother, and sports, both of which i have absolutely no interest in. he's 29 though, so hopefully that means i can have interesting conversations with him. i've been a bit down recently as i've found a large portion of my friends talk about stupid crap endlessly.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART:
he was very cute and i am definitely attracted to him. i am sooo gonna hit that.

except, now his eagerness to meet has me wondering how many guys he has slept with....DUN DUN DUN.
 
btkadams said:
it's weird when you meet someone for the first time and already know what they look like naked. i'm still not used to that.

i'm back from lunch. i still have all of my organs. this was actually the first "date" i've had since my ex that actually went decently well. i think i understand more about why he was so eager. he's moved around a lot and used to work up north on the rigs. i'm thinking that he might not have a huge circle of friends, so he's wanting someone to hang out with. he even talked about how he travels a lot with work and may have to move up north fulltime in a few months, so at least i don't have to worry about him wanting a relationship.

i can't say i'm opposed to hanging out with him, because he was actually fun to talk to. we are definitely different in areas, but not to the point where our personalities collide. at least, not yet. he happens to like two and a half men, big brother, and sports, both of which i have absolutely no interest in. he's 29 though, so hopefully that means i can have interesting conversations with him. i've been a bit down recently as i've found a large portion of my friends talk about stupid crap endlessly.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART:
he was very cute and i am definitely attracted to him. i am sooo gonna hit that.

except, now his eagerness to meet has me wondering how many guys he has slept with....DUN DUN DUN.
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I was hoping for something scandalous and horrifically morbid. I mean, I suppose I'm happy for you, but why'd you have to be selfish and have a good time?
 
It's so hard for me to process this story about being married for all those years THEN coming out. It's great you were able to make that decision, but the whole idea of it makes me so uneasy. People being true to themselves has just always been such an important thing to me. Oh,and being president and founder of the Gay Straight Alliance made me such an advocate for never hiding who you are. Sticking together to fight for ourselves and our rights always was forefront on my mind. So when I hear about people waiting so long to come out,I admit it does bother me. No offense,it's just my initial gut reaction. Especially when a celebrity comes out. It's like, fuck, why didn't you do this when you were young and could have made a bigger impact on people? The idea of being closeted is just so far away and foreign to me at this point. That I was barely closeted for any length of time probably being the reason.

As for when I realized I liked the boys.. Hmm. I remember "studying" the sex ed booklet about how male genitalia worked while bring grossed out and not looking at the female part. But publicly,I was completely innocent acting and would be too ashamed to talk about anything remotely sex related. I'd say at 12 was when I started watching gay porn (thank you basement laptop at my cousin's house), and at 13 I was firmly gay and getting crushes on boys at school. I distinctly recall fantasizing about this kid Mark being only in socks on a locker room bench : X. Funnily enough,I found out a couple years later that my aunt and uncle , as well as another cousin, had already told my dad I was looking at gay dudes on their computers at night. Though I didn't come out til the beginning of freshman year of high school, I never denied not liking girls. I just left out that I liked boys. Went with the asexual route.
 
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