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[I'm an expert]

Real talk, if any of you have any self-image issues or "physical" issues, jump in the OT of the Fitness thread here on GAF. There's tons of great info and beginner routines in there that, if you have the discipline to do for a few months, can radically change your body and give you more confidence. That doesn't mean get jacked or super ripped or whatever nonsense, but if you feel like that's a major source of your lack of confidence, why not change it? It's one of the few things you actually do have control over.

 

[HappyBivouac]

GAF, how do I talk to girls in class? I'm 21 years old and in my fourth year on campus and I've only had one (brief) relationship during that time and I feel like this should not be happening at my age. For example, the girl I'm most interested in in one of my classes sat down right next to me today and I didn't say a single effin' word.

Of course, I'm self-conscious because I'm not the greatest physical specimen around. I'm 5'8" and weigh 120 pounds and look like I'm about 15 or 16. I can't compete with most guys from a physical perspective, and I don't make up for it with personality. I'm also self-conscious because I live at home to save money and I feel like not having a dorm or apartment to take a girl back to is a major negative.

The only way I can talk to girls at all is to get drunk off my ass. Since I live at home, I don't have a lot of the social opportunities most students do and therefore the best time for me to talk to people is in class. But I don't know what to talk about -- asking a girl about her major or what classes she's taking will only go so far, and in my experience that's not far at all.

I think I suffer from give-too-much-of-a-shit syndrome. Help me.

1) Stop focusing on yourself and your "flaws". That's not helping.
2) Girls are people.
3) People love to talk about themselves.
4) Have a "giving" mindset, not a "getting" mindset.

Now with those four things in mind say in a confident yet casual manner : "Hey, how are you today? My name is Pre."

And let the conversation evolve naturally from there.

I know we try to keep this kind of talk to a minimum in here, but that line sounds incredibly stiff/forced/borderline creepy. Anyone walks up to me and says "Hey, how are you today?" I think they're either trying to sell me something or recruit me to some weird religious thing.

A simple, standard "Hey, what's up?" is gonna work out better, and it's what a lot of guys would naturally say to someone anyway. And that's really the name of the game. Don't come up with pre-loaded lines before talking to a girl because anyone can smell that shit from a mile away. Just be genuine and talk to people. If you think too much about it beforehand telling yourself stuff like "that conversation isn't gonna go far" then you're wasting your time and making things worse. You have no idea where any conversation is gonna go. That's the fun of it. Just take a leap of faith. Talk to people, see what happens. You'll surprise yourself.

And yeah, what others said. You're dedicating far more thought to your so-called "flaws" than any girl is ever gonna do. Talk to girls, be confident, give less fucks. The fact is all those things you think are bringing you down are really not major factors with a lot of girls. You have close to the same chances as any other guy in the room. You start radically changing those chances in your favor by being the guy who talks to girls genuinely and doesn't give a fuck.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

"Hey how are you today?" is just another way of saying "Hey what's up?" and "Hey how's it going?" You can answer with one word if you want.

 

[I'm an expert]

That's a very narrow, and personal, perspective on that specific phrase. If someone came up to me and said that I'd say "I'm fine". That kind of stuff will always depend on specific areas and local colloquialisms and other factors. For example, for me "hey, what's up" sounds like something a teenager would say to their friend in the hallway, not how an adult would introduce themselves to another adult in an educational setting. See what I mean?

Obviously the point of that advice was a simple greeting and introduction is all you need to start a conversation. Asking someone "how are you" is not what I would call a scripted one liner.

 

[Atramental]

My bottom line is JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING.

If you sit there and just pine away about all the possibilities and about all the ways you can start a conversation you're not going to get anywhere.

Too many of you guys stay stuck in your heads and you don't do or say anything.

 

[shintoki]

Not a dating issue, more of a social issue. I still have trouble making friends and I think I may have discovered the issue. So I'm looking for suggests.

Basically I'm wondering how do you guys catch yourself if you become too overbearing. Its going to be a bit hard to describe, but I keep people I meet largely based on where I meet them. Lets say I meet them in a class, and I will always keep directing the subject on to that class. Or its the same with a hobby. And I will not realize this. I have a lot I can actually talk about, but I always seem to wedge myself into a rut with a person without realizing it.

 

[Amory]

My friend just brought over a pretty girl at the bar and the girl introduced herself and tried to talk to me and I...completely froze up. And THEN the girl said well I'll be around if you're here later....

And I said Oh! Ok!









...

 

[Pollux]

Hi GAF. Im drunk in my be so time for another update. 2 numbers. Both asked for mine. An I'm meeting one in Monday after work for drinks. Both are hot. Confirme by the designated drive. But well see Monday. Going to be now GAF. Good night. God bless.

 

[Jhoan]

My friend just brought over a pretty girl at the bar and the girl introduced herself and tried to talk to me and I...completely froze up. And THEN the girl said well I'll be around if you're here later....

And I said Oh! Ok!









...

It happens man; it's happened to me. But in this case, the chick is still interested so you haven't struck out yet.

What the hell are you doing on GAF man? Get off your phone and go talk to her! Say something. If you strike out, then big deal; you move on like if nothing fazed you.

C'mon son. You're being GAF man right now. Your friend is being a good wing man, so please don't let him down.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Of course, I'm self-conscious because I'm not the greatest physical specimen around. I'm 5'8" and weigh 120 pounds and look like I'm about 15 or 16. I can't compete with most guys from a physical perspective, and I don't make up for it with personality. I'm also self-conscious because I live at home to save money and I feel like not having a dorm or apartment to take a girl back to is a major negative.

In case you didn't know, when it comes to girls' preference skinny >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>chubby.

Just sayin' bro. No excuse. Put a little muscle on and learn to dress well.

 

[Pre]

I'm way too drunk right now to consider the advice in this thresdn but I will revisit later. Long sotey short nI got crqzy fdrunk tonight anmd motorboated a girl who is in a long term relarionship and almost ruined a friendship in then process. She actuasllly didn't hold it against me and rubbed my head andc arresed my hair for a solid ten minutes and talked abourt hopw beautifulk my hair is. I don't know if she did it out of pity or what but if I remember it tomorrow I will keep in mind that I should just stop giving a fuck. She actually said it took a lot of guts to just go for it and Io feel likme I got a big confidencfe boost. I apologize for the spelling but I jad numerous shots and I"m not in s good way right now. I will reread all the advice tomorrow.

 

[master15]

I'm way too drunk right now to consider the advice in this thresdn but I will revisit later. Long sotey short nI got crqzy fdrunk tonight anmd motorboated a girl who is in a long term relarionship and almost ruined a friendship in then process. She actuasllly didn't hold it against me and rubbed my head andc arresed my hair for a solid ten minutes and talked abourt hopw beautifulk my hair is. I don't know if she did it out of pity or what but if I remember it tomorrow I will keep in mind that I should just stop giving a fuck. She actually said it took a lot of guts to just go for it and Io feel likme I got a big confidencfe boost. I apologize for the spelling but I jad numerous shots and I"m not in s good way right now. I will reread all the advice tomorrow.

 

[Minamu]

Hi GAF. Im drunk in my be so time for another update. 2 numbers. Both asked for mine. An I'm meeting one in Monday after work for drinks. Both are hot. Confirme by the designated drive. But well see Monday. Going to be now GAF. Good night. God bless.

Nice, good for you

 

[Man]

Dressed up in proper Cristopher Nolan gear and waiting for the train. Going to Trak (Melbourne) and maybe Chapelstreet later.

 

[FleckSplat]

So yeah. This happened. I don't post in this thread very often, but I thought I'd post this here.

So over a year ago I met this girl at my gym. We would go to fitness classes together and she had a great personality and great looks. Having been "friend-zoned" in the past, I knew what I had to do after the first two classes: I had to ask her out sooner rather than later. So I did. We went out for coffee, it went well and she said she wanted to get together again soon. I suggested we see a movie and she seemed enthusiastic about it. The only thing is, she had a super busy schedule, so I left it up to her to take the initiative and contact me when she was ready. That way I would know if the interest was mutual. Well, she didn't call me back and the only time she spoke to me again was when I took another class at the gym. She said that she in fact WAS interested in going out again but that she was just really busy. I figured she was just being polite, or a "nice girl", per the thread title and forgot about it. After awhile I deleted her number from my phone and went on my way.

So about three months ago I saw her in the fitness class again and she was doing great. I didn't want to be a guy who resented her forever, so afterwards I said she did a great job. She seemed to like this, so I decided I would give it another shot with her. I wouldn't be the initiator, I just wanted to see where it went. I would continue to do the fitness thing and see what happened. Well, over the following month she was showing more and more interest in me; I thought that I had gotten my shit together in a year and she was genuinely attracted to me enough to make time in her schedule. So I have a conversation with her that's not a "date", it just arose naturally and she is really into it and so am I. We are "clicking" and ask her out for drinks. Due to her schedule, she can't but she "really wants to" and smiles, so I figure I've got it in the bag. It's just a matter of when.

So last week, a month after that, I finally have a date set up for a nice restaurant, she now has time in the evenings to get together. Everything is set up....and she stands me up. Doesn't say she'll be late, doesn't say she is canceling, doesn't say she forgot and she'd like to reschedule...nothing. Haven't heard from her in about two weeks. It's like I don't fucking exist.

If I see her in the gym again I'm just going to ignore her. What the fuck.

 

[subversus]

So last week, a month after that, I finally have a date set up for a nice restaurant, she now has time in the evenings to get together. Everything is set up....and she stands me up. Doesn't say she'll be late, doesn't say she is canceling, doesn't say she forgot and she'd like to reschedule...nothing. Haven't heard from her in about two weeks. It's like I don't fucking exist.

If I see her in the gym again I'm just going to ignore her. What the fuck.

stuff like that happens, was in that situation myself except I knew that it may happen so I planed all my activities as if she wouldn't show up.

First red flag - busy schedule. If she is interested she will find time and won't bring up "busy" schedule to discourage you. Or she we'll say that she's busy but she'll find some time. Of course some women do this even with guys they are interested in, it's a "catch me" game but most don't (in my experience at least).

But you did a mistake at the beginning - you let HER decide if she wants to call you or not. Never do this with women or they won't take you seriously (this probably has happened). It's you who should express the interest, such are the rules. Of course there are exceptions from these rules but they are exceptions so don't expect them to happen often.

Also don't ignore her in the gym, because you may appear butthurt. She naturally expects you to act this way and not talk to her judging from your past actions. So instead of doing this approach her in a)casual light-hearted way and ask what happened so she could explain why she didn't show up and didn't warn you b)approach her in a more agressive way and ask her the same in WTF mode. b) may create an awkward situation and most women HATE direct questions and awkward situations. This may make her feel nervous so at least you will be able to get some satisfaction from that. If you decide to do a) and approach her in a light-hearted way and she apologizes and lies about dead battery in her mobile phone so she couldn't warn you that she wasn't able to show up let it slide and act like you believe her. Say that may be you'll two do something together one day and never approach her again.

But don't wander around in the gym pretending like she is not there because it has BUTTHURT written all over it.

 

[Minamu]

Dressed up in proper Cristopher Nolan gear and waiting for the train. Going to Trak (Melbourne) and maybe Chapelstreet later.

Partied downtown last night, student reunion tonight And four or five club nights next week. I'll send you a PM in a bit

 

[Man]

Partied downtown last night, student reunion tonight And four or five club nights next week. I'll send you a PM in a bit

Was at Spice Market yesterday. Had won a bottle of Vodka and vip passes on a lottery. Laid out a table for us with all sorts of mixing ingredients and the spirits itself. Good setup.

Edit: lol. Forgot. Not in same town or continent.

 

[stn]

But don't wander around in the gym pretending like she is not there because it has BUTTHURT written all over it.

Everything subversus said was proper, couldn't have said it better myself. Approach her, ask what happened. My advice would be to do it calmly, you don't want her to know you've been hurt by her actions. Remember: you don't care. You have too much going on to let this stop you. After she makes up her bullshit story, do not approach her again. Smile and stuff if you see her around, but never initiate contact.

If she initiates it, however, just make small-talk until she leaves. Be cool about it.

 

[Man]

Well, no luck tonight. Was chexking out this new place though but wasn't ideal for conversations. Nice Michael Jackson tribute show though. Crowd was 99% of southern European ancestry and African so I was probably one of the palest folks there as I hail from Norway hehe.

My online dating might be leading somewhere though. Getting kisses from medium rate women while I'm trying to catch som real beauties.

 

[Minamu]

flecksplat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXwfWgKKszQ&feature=g-all-c

 

[Pastry]

Sooo kind of in a predicament as I have been out of the game for so long. Got a girl's number last night she was pretty cute and cool. Issue is I'm very fresh out of a long term relationship and unsure of where to go from here. I kind of just want to hang with a girl and maybe get a little bit of sexy time. Two day rule? Text her later tonight? I'm also paranoid that I am going to try and move too fast as I'm kind of just bored.

 

[FleckSplat]

Thanks subversus (and others). I will be polite if I see her again and pretend to be interested.

Still doesn't excuse how dumb the whole thing is, though.

 

[subversus]

Thanks subversus (and others). I will be polite if I see her again and pretend to be interested.

Still doesn't excuse how dumb the whole thing is, though.

don't pretend just say hi and ask what happened. You know what really happened but still you should ask because if you don't then you confirm that you are ok with women not showing up on a date without any excuses, ruining your plans. You don't need to show that you are interested in her, just stay polite and don't give a fuck.

 

[Mistake]

Edit: nvm

 

[SpectreFire]

Thanks subversus (and others). I will be polite if I see her again and pretend to be interested.

Still doesn't excuse how dumb the whole thing is, though.

I wouldn't take any of subversus' advice.

What are you going to get out of talking to her and trying to worm out what happened? What happened happened, you're not going to get closure or anything by talking to her about it. Your ignoring her was the best option and you should stick with it.

Screw what he said about being butthurt or trying to play mind games with her. That's just stupid and petty.

You were on the right track, don't let shitty advice push you off it.

don't pretend just say hi and ask what happened. You know what really happened but still you should ask because if you don't then you confirm that you are ok with women not showing up on a date without any excuses, ruining your plans. You don't need to show that you are interested in her, just stay polite and don't give a fuck.

Why would he need to show her anything? She's already made it clear that she doesn't really value him or his time, what more does he need from her?

He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone, stop telling him he does.

 

[subversus]

He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone, stop telling him he does.

the thing is that if he REALLY doesn't care than my advice is of no use to him. It's like if I had 5 dates lined up this week and one of them didn't show up than I wouldn't care because I won't even remember her name and face in two weeks after that. But clearly it's not the case here.

Of course it's up to him to decide if he talks to her once again or not. May be he won't care at all, may be he won't feel comfortable to do this, may be he will see her in 6 months after that and there won't be much to talk about. BUT if there is some frustration going it's better not to bottle it up when this person is around. Because she may easily sense it. Not that she'll care, but this may be amusing to her.

Also she's not being interested is not the main problem here. No matter how little care one person about other person there must be some rules of courtesy to oblige. Like texting to warn the other person if you don't show up or apologizing after that. If she hasn't done that it's just rude on a personal level, not man-woman level. It's a matter of self-esteem to try to rectify this at least formally.

Also he wouldn't need to worm out anything, he just needs to show that he's not ok with such behaviou (if he still cares). It's not about some "closure" either.

 

[mooooose]

Never posted in this thread but I'm so madddd. AGHH.

I had been in a relationship for 5 years. My first real relationship. It ended badly. Anyway, I have to move on, despite it being incredibly difficult and sad, because this week it became apparent that the love isn't there from my ex anymore and she can't make it work.

SO,

I'm going to a new college, starting Monday. Today was a transfer orientation. I have a friend with me and we spent the whole time together but during one of the stupid presentations we start talking about leaving. I ask a girl next to me if she knows whether we need to sign in for this or if we can leave. I end up talking (and then flirting) with this girl for almost THREE HOURS. When it comes time to leave, I make more jokes, and she got less responsive (AFTER THREE HOURS OF LAUGHING AND TALKING) because she was clearly waiting to get my number or give me her's, and what do I do? I RAN AWAY WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOODBYE.

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. WHY DID I FORGET HOW DO THIS. I NEVER REALLY DID IT I GUESS BUT THIS SUCKS. She was really cute and we had some stuff in common and she just seemed like fun. Aaaaaaagh. I know I need to meet new girls and I definitely don't feel ready to emotionally commit or something crazy but this was a cute girl at a new school where we barely both know anyone and we had a fun afternoon together... wtf is wrong with me.

 

[Kung Fu Grip]

Sorry for the girl hate that got me banned. I was just really upset at women being so.......like a rubix cube. I still stand by some of what i said though. But ultimately it's up to me to be able to get a girl or not.

Something i never mentioned to you guys is that i've actually had plenty of opportunities to get girlfriends and get laid. I was just too shy and scared to do anything with those opportunities. Being frustrated with my current lack of social and sex life makes me forget the chances i had in the past. I shake my head at the girls i could of had but what can i do but learn right? Whats even more funny is that none of these girls were ugly. They were all 8 and up. So much for me thinking im ugly.

These golden opportunities happened at ages 16 to 23, after that none else came along. I've had 3 girls that showed interest in me at one job i was at. One must of thought i was gay because no amount of seducing got me to like her. Im talking to a point of sitting on my lap and pushing her breast in my face. Yeah im an idiot i know but i like i said i was scared. And i noticed those chances came along when i was out all the time. Either working 5 days a week or hanging with friends. But i don't have that large circle of friends anymore and my current job is shit when i only work a few days and im off for a week or more. So im mostly inside alot........complaining on neogaf.

I've been thinking of calling an escort to get my virginity out the way. What do you guys think? I already know which one im going to choose. Around $300. I hope i don't get addicted. Actually theres about 4 i like. I've spoken to them too. Oh, well.

You guys wanna see pics i'll send you PM's.

 

[JohnDoe]

No, don't lose your virginity to an escort. You seem to be really scared of girls in your stories, which also explains the posts that got you banned. Does this only happen when things escalate (sexually) or everytime you're with an attractive woman? Do you think you could hook up with an "unattractive" woman without being scared?
All you need to know is that women are humans, just like us. No need to be scared of them. If you have a problem with talking to hot women just remember that they are like all other girls; you just happen to find them more attractive.

 

[subversus]

You guys wanna see pics i'll send you PM's.

don't do this.

go here - reddit.com/r/sex and reddit.com/r/relationships, you'll see posts from people who had lost their virginity in 30-40 years and now seem to enjoy their lives. People are very open-minded and friendly in these subreddits, you can find some quality advice there.

There was also a post from the woman who was into 35-year old virgin and asked how to proceed. The point is that she was into him so nothing is lost, you shouldn't lost your virginity to escort. It may turn out into a cold and numb experience.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Yeah im going on 29 now and still a fuckup v. I was tempted by an escort for like an hour but just said fuck that cause i know either i'll end up getting robbed or something, or just develop a complex about how the only way i could lose it was by paying for it. Im definitely destined to be the loser in his 30s that is beyond hope. I even went to a party a couple of days ago. Ideal situation. I rarely go to parties as its near impossible to find them when you are out of the school environment. Anyway a couple of attractive single girls there. Just, nothing happens though. Everyone plays drinking games, has a good time, but then just everyone goes home and that's it. Im utterly clueless and girls dont go out of their way to say they are into me.

I feel for you though if you are in your 30's and a v, yeah thats fucked.

 

[Desperado]

Im definitely destined to be the loser in his 30s that is beyond hope

No.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

The one thing you'll never see a person that can consistently get a partner do is go online and beat himself up and throw pity parties about it.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Yeah im going on 29 now and still a fuckup v. I was tempted by an escort for like an hour but just said fuck that cause i know either i'll end up getting robbed or something, or just develop a complex about how the only way i could lose it was by paying for it. Im definitely destined to be the loser in his 30s that is beyond hope. I even went to a party a couple of days ago. Ideal situation. I rarely go to parties as its near impossible to find them when you are out of the school environment. Anyway a couple of attractive single girls there. Just, nothing happens though. Everyone plays drinking games, has a good time, but then just everyone goes home and that's it. Im utterly clueless and girls dont go out of their way to say they are into me.

I feel for you though if you are in your 30's and a v, yeah thats fucked.

Keep at it mate, I can relate to you because i feel in a similar sort of position and age. I'm not a V but with the lack of action I've had the past few years, I may as well be. I've been on almost a dozen dates with different women this year, and every single one of them has been a total failure. Not got anywhere in all but one, which progressed in an.. interesting fashion.. But that still fizzled out too. My advice is keep going, I somehow keep managing to get women to meet with me. Sure, they dont like what they see when we meet and I never seem to get anywhere but at least I got a chance of winning if I'm still in the game..!! (That's what I'm telling myself anyway, lol)

 

[~Kinggi~]

The one thing you'll never see a person that can consistently get a partner do is go online and beat himself up and throw pity parties about it.

bringing back a classic!

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Why doom yourself?

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Lol, he does have a point though, I throw some awesome pity parties and I get nowhere either. I'm absolutely convinced that if I hadn't fallen out the ugly tree when I was born I'd have easily got with someone and lived happily ever after by now, but unfortunately I'm not particularly attractive in the eyes of most women so I have to look for the female equivalent of a needle in a haystack - someone who's not that bothered about looks or awesome hair (which I used to have like 2 years ago..!!).. I won't hold my breath but I'm not gonna give in just yet..

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Same boat here man (aside from the V).

My issue, as previously detailed, is trying to figure out the best place to meet someone. I love the casual-ness of a light bar setting because it's much easier to say hello, but I don't get to them that often. This leaves me hoping the odd conversation with a cashier will take a turn, or the girl I shoot the breeze with for a few minutes in line will seem to have even a slight bit of interest. So far, no dice.

It's extremely frustrating, but I never let it show when I am out and about. I'll occasionally beat myself up over why all my friends seem to have no issues, but I just can't land anyone, but I do this at home, for a few minutes, then figure out a way around it.

I have gotten much better at having those casual conversations, and know I could ask a girl out if I feel the time is right. I get down a bit, then make sure to come out of it more confident and determined.

The fight continues!

 

[Izick]

The one thing you'll never see a person that can consistently get a partner do is go online and beat himself up and throw pity parties about it.

Aw shit.

 

[Kung Fu Grip]

No, don't lose your virginity to an escort. You seem to be really scared of girls in your stories, which also explains the posts that got you banned. Does this only happen when things escalate (sexually) or everytime you're with an attractive woman? Do you think you could hook up with an "unattractive" woman without being scared?
All you need to know is that women are humans, just like us. No need to be scared of them. If you have a problem with talking to hot women just remember that they are like all other girls; you just happen to find them more attractive.

Well based on the past i get nervous when a girl is attracted to me. I act like a 10 year old boy and get shy and afraid to take things further. Don't know how i would act now since i never been in those situations since. Seeing how im desperate im sure i could do it. Actually no, i'll still be scared in some ways. For example i can't picture myself taking a girl out to dinner and sitting face to face. I wouldn't have a fucking clue what to talk about.

don't do this.

go here - reddit.com/r/sex and reddit.com/r/relationships, you'll see posts from people who had lost their virginity in 30-40 years and now seem to enjoy their lives. People are very open-minded and friendly in these subreddits, you can find some quality advice there.


There was also a post from the woman who was into 35-year old virgin and asked how to proceed. The point is that she was into him so nothing is lost, you shouldn't lost your virginity to escort. It may turn out into a cold and numb experience.

I think i'll be fine. Before i didn't want to because i wanted my first time to be with someone i actually liked and got myself. That feeling is still there but im 28 and it seems nothing is going to happen; girlfriend, relationship, anything involving the opposite sex so i figure what the heck. Maby it'll get my confidence up.

Yeah im going on 29 now and still a fuckup v. I was tempted by an escort for like an hour but just said fuck that cause i know either i'll end up getting robbed or something, or just develop a complex about how the only way i could lose it was by paying for it. Im definitely destined to be the loser in his 30s that is beyond hope. I even went to a party a couple of days ago. Ideal situation. I rarely go to parties as its near impossible to find them when you are out of the school environment. Anyway a couple of attractive single girls there. Just, nothing happens though. Everyone plays drinking games, has a good time, but then just everyone goes home and that's it. Im utterly clueless and girls dont go out of their way to say they are into me.

I feel for you though if you are in your 30's and a v, yeah thats fucked.

I thought you would of progressed by now, Kinggi. Woman for me is like trying to run up mount everest.

I think we should do the escort. You still have to pay for a girl even if you get one on your own on the street, club, bar, wherever.

Maby this will change your mind-

http://lifestylejourney.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/paying-for-sex-is-more-alpha-than-using.html

 

[Log4Girlz]

Many girls love to talk about themselves and their lives. You can easily have an hour long conversation just by asking "Tell me about yourself". Its easy stuff.

 

[Remyzero]

What a night...I might have just blew my chances with this girl I've been seeing for the past month. According to her both of us aren't ready to take it to the next level. She said she hopes we remain friends for a long time. I just don't know what to think about that.

Just an update from my post last week. I still remain close to her. Things weren't as bad as I thought, we still laugh and hang out without much silent pauses in conversation. I'm comfortable with that although I don't know what to expect will unfold...I could go a couple days without talking to her if things come to that.

 

[Log4Girlz]

So yeah. This happened. I don't post in this thread very often, but I thought I'd post this here.

So over a year ago I met this girl at my gym. We would go to fitness classes together and she had a great personality and great looks. Having been "friend-zoned" in the past, I knew what I had to do after the first two classes: I had to ask her out sooner rather than later. So I did. We went out for coffee, it went well and she said she wanted to get together again soon. I suggested we see a movie and she seemed enthusiastic about it. The only thing is, she had a super busy schedule, so I left it up to her to take the initiative and contact me when she was ready. That way I would know if the interest was mutual. Well, she didn't call me back and the only time she spoke to me again was when I took another class at the gym. She said that she in fact WAS interested in going out again but that she was just really busy. I figured she was just being polite, or a "nice girl", per the thread title and forgot about it. After awhile I deleted her number from my phone and went on my way.

So about three months ago I saw her in the fitness class again and she was doing great. I didn't want to be a guy who resented her forever, so afterwards I said she did a great job. She seemed to like this, so I decided I would give it another shot with her. I wouldn't be the initiator, I just wanted to see where it went. I would continue to do the fitness thing and see what happened. Well, over the following month she was showing more and more interest in me; I thought that I had gotten my shit together in a year and she was genuinely attracted to me enough to make time in her schedule. So I have a conversation with her that's not a "date", it just arose naturally and she is really into it and so am I. We are "clicking" and ask her out for drinks. Due to her schedule, she can't but she "really wants to" and smiles, so I figure I've got it in the bag. It's just a matter of when.

So last week, a month after that, I finally have a date set up for a nice restaurant, she now has time in the evenings to get together. Everything is set up....and she stands me up. Doesn't say she'll be late, doesn't say she is canceling, doesn't say she forgot and she'd like to reschedule...nothing. Haven't heard from her in about two weeks. It's like I don't fucking exist.

If I see her in the gym again I'm just going to ignore her. What the fuck.

Dude she's not interested and didn't show you basic, BASIC courtesy. She owes you an explanation. She needs to give you one, but you can't ask for one, you can't question her. So, what I mean is, fucking ignore her and don't speak to her again unless she comes to you and I would do everything in my power to make her feel like shit then stop talking to her altogether. COURTESY.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

How do you guys get over jealously and trust issues in a relationship? My girlfriend tells me she loves me and all that, but there's always that little thought in the back of my head that she's talking to someone else or something.

"Fake it 'till you make it" worked for me.

Her talking to men or even making friends should not bother you. If it does, get over it. Same for you and female friends: if she has a problem with it, she has to get over it.

She also works ALL THE TIME so we only talk for a few hours a day.

When I was in a long distance relationship we talked at most an hour a day, and if there was nothing to talk about, only 15 minutes.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Got talking to a lovely girl the other night on POF, she had just made her profile, she liked my page and we started speaking about things, swapped numbers... Anyway, I didn't hear from her for a day or so, then I had a little text about her being busy, etc. She mentioned she had found it hard to find the time to 'get through' her messages on that site. I asked her to explain and she had received over 100 MESSAGES in the space of 24 hours. I was stunned, it would take months to get that amount in my inbox.

I could feel my soul sinking to the floor.

What is the point of doing this? Online dating on that particular site simply DOESN'T work for men, its too saturated! It's as simple as that. It's no wonder its so difficult for guys like ourselves, its like shouting as loud as you can to a girl at the opposite site of a football stadium filled to capacity with men. You're just going to get lost in the crowd.

I was merely fortunate to be one of the first profiles this girl came across, since then she has pretty much stopped talking, hardly surprising considering she can have the choice of hundreds of men. I wouldn't recommending joining plenty of fish, its just over filled and not fit for purpose unless you're a girl of course. In that case, sign right up, you'll have a date arranged with a guy you fancy the pants off before the end of the day, haha. I'm going to try some other sites which aren't so popular, having 'plenty' of fish is most definitely not a good thing in my opinion.

 

[soultron]

Dude she's not interested and didn't show you basic, BASIC courtesy. She owes you an explanation. She needs to give you one, but you can't ask for one, you can't question her. So, what I mean is, fucking ignore her and don't speak to her again unless she comes to you and I would do everything in my power to make her feel like shit then stop talking to her altogether. COURTESY.

I agree with the not speaking to her part, but not the whole resentment deal. Makes you look like a really sore loser. Was she a bit shit for standing the poster up? Absolutely, but why go the temper tantrum route and make an ass of yourself?

To the original poster, you made a lot of great moves (+ big ups for going to the gym and getting fit!), but I think the one misstep was not noticing she wasn't interested after the first date. If a girl magically can't make time for you (a girl can make an hour or two to go on a date, a girl will stay up past her bedtime, etc. if she likes you) after the first date, you need to be ready to accept that she's not into you and stop chasing. If she's actually really busy or things are ramping up in her life (which actually does happen!) you need to let her just come back to you but you need to move on simultaneously.

Both men and women often don't have the courtesy to tell a candidate that they're "just not into them," so don't even expect that kind of closure. Always be on the move and don't sit on a woman for too long if she's not making time for you.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I agree with the not speaking to her part, but not the whole resentment deal. Makes you look like a really sore loser. Was she a bit shit for standing the poster up? Absolutely, but why go the temper tantrum route and make an ass of yourself?
.

Uh, not speaking to someone is considered a temper tantrum?

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Both men and women often don't have the courtesy to tell a candidate that they're "just not into them," so don't even expect that kind of closure. Always be on the move and don't sit on a woman for too long if she's not making time for you.

This is such great advice. I've been doing this all year as a kind of 'new years resolution' type thing, before I would take it so personally and get hung up whenever I was rejected, and don't get me wrong, i STILL feel bad about it (like anyone would), but this year I have been continuously trying to keep moving on instead of stopping still when it happens. Moving on to the next date to see if a spark happens is much more constructive than sitting at home feeling butt hurt.

 

[Danj]

I've been thinking of calling an escort to get my virginity out the way. What do you guys think?

No, don't lose your virginity to an escort.

Just curious, why exactly is this bad? I've actually been considering this myself - not any time soon, but after my debt consolidation loan is paid off - I don't particularly want to be a virgin when I hit 40.