Devolution
Member
Every time you try to qualify your hilarious statements you only make it worse. Sex is normal and pretty common place.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
Every time you try to qualify your hilarious statements you only make it worse. Sex is normal and pretty common place.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
You just admitted up top you'd put studying, your parents' opinion, and ability to walk places above having a girlfriend. You then basically said you sucked at the one relationship you have had. I'm saying it doesn't seem like having a girlfriend is a priority for you at this time (which is totally a-ok), and she will probably realize that as well.
Get off GAF, and get out, be social and things will happen to you. Starting tomorrow I'm gonna go out seven nights over two weeks, dancing, drinking, partying and meeting friends and new people. What are YOU guys gonna do? I mean come on, do something at least 
Edit: Make that nine days, miscount.
Edit: Make that nine days, miscount.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I don't think you're a good source for this information.
You make interesting word choices. I've had dry months and even a dry year, but I wouldn't consider any part of my adult sex life not healthy and normal, and I wouldn't consider the sex lives of anyone I know to be unhealthy.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
What? Im the perfect source for this. lol.
You and your friends do not equal the world. Many people don't get sex at all.
Anyway, im giving this thread a break before i banned again. See ya'll.
=)
Devolution
Member
There's a difference between not getting laid and pretending like sex isn't normal to make yourself feel better as if you're somehow abstaining from it by choice. It's not a good look dude, the shit you post here.
Hypereides
Member
Anything prior to Pollux and Soultron's posts is delirious.
I've got Izick on my ignore list yet I see his posts getting repeatedly quoted. Liu Kang is damn straight about this pity party stuff. Its absolutely going nowhere.
I'd vouch for a ban just to forced him to get outside his door and do something about it otherwise he'll keep flying back in here like a boomerang and do nothing about it.
That and this thread is turning into something other than a dating thread.
I've got Izick on my ignore list yet I see his posts getting repeatedly quoted. Liu Kang is damn straight about this pity party stuff. Its absolutely going nowhere.
I'd vouch for a ban just to forced him to get outside his door and do something about it otherwise he'll keep flying back in here like a boomerang and do nothing about it.
That and this thread is turning into something other than a dating thread.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Well lets fix that right now: So I am sitting on the fence right now, do I call her or do I not?
This posts should help you give better direction to me, remember this was a date that occurred last night it's been like 24 hours now. I really don't want to call her, mostly because we were together for 7 hours last night, we talked about everything and anything, and I don't want to start a forced conversation. I like to save my conversations for the actual dates, no need to chat on the phone for hours like teenagers.
I really hate phone calls without a real purpose... I need a good reason to call her today, not just "hey what's up, what you up to? just wanted to say I had a great time last night.. wank.. wank.."
I want to call her but why? and why so soon?
It's crucial to mention that my last kiss before she went back to her apartment, was kinda awkward, it was long time coming, throughout the night, she was anticipating it hours earlier, and it felt so..."Ok might as well do it now and get it over with..." it was very last minute very rushed, not the most romantic kiss, far from it, more awkward than romantic.. I really want to know how she took the kiss, that would be my own personal reason to call her and talk to her right now, of course without making this obvious to her.
The worst part was, after the first date; In the exact same situation but of course minus the kiss, she turned around after entering the building, smiled and gave me an affectionate wave, I didn't get that this time around, not after the kiss... don't think too much of it, but guess it's worth a mention.
Hypereides
Member
Who initiated the kiss. You or her?
I'd say give it a few days before you call her. If you begin to throw yourself over her you'll intimidate her and scare her away. Some girls would read into that as 'clingy behaviour' and ultimately a turn off. Ergo your potential for a long term relationship would deflate.
Im not too thrilled about the restaurant bit though. Way too formal in my opinion, should've been something more casual like coffee.
Awkwardness shouldnt be a big factor. It can always get fixed, If there's a "next time".
Also, chillax. You barely know her. Dont expect her to sacrifice most of her spare time on someone she just met.
Just simple feedback I'd say.
EDIT: And dont call her. Text her instead.
I'd say give it a few days before you call her. If you begin to throw yourself over her you'll intimidate her and scare her away. Some girls would read into that as 'clingy behaviour' and ultimately a turn off. Ergo your potential for a long term relationship would deflate.
Im not too thrilled about the restaurant bit though. Way too formal in my opinion, should've been something more casual like coffee.
Awkwardness shouldnt be a big factor. It can always get fixed, If there's a "next time".
Also, chillax. You barely know her. Dont expect her to sacrifice most of her spare time on someone she just met.
Just simple feedback I'd say.
EDIT: And dont call her. Text her instead.
MutantCyborg
Member
ME and my girlfriend became very close in our short 5 months together we basically lived with eachother for that entire time. I've never have gotten this close to anyone in that short of a time. But now my college semester is starting and we are going to be 1.5 hours away. I know thats not far, and we have plans to see each other almost every other weekend, but I cant help but think this will change our relationship. Are there any tips you guys can give me to keep this going? I dont think we'll have a problem, but just to make it even more amazing!
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Yeah I initiated the kiss of course, and the bolded is exactly what I fear of happening after last night, I think she wasn't expecting all that on the second date.
She is kinda old fashioned (take her time ) kinda gal. I think I did kind of intimidate her... Here's the most fucked up part about that kiss that I forgot to mention, she was actually, trying to tell me to call her sometime or something, instead of me listening to what she was saying I just went for the kiss, and I was soo out of it after the kiss, I just replied back with "yeah sure call me!"
ahaha, I think that pissed her off, not only I brushed off what she was saying, I kissed her and told her to call me, while she was trying to tell me to call her.
So I kinda fucked up on that kiss on more than one level.. .Not only I rushed her, ignored what she was trying to say (cut her off) with a quick and awkward kiss. But whatever...
The look-back is a good sign a girl is interested man. If you say your goodbyes and they just keep on walking, they probably don't care. If they start walking away, then look back at you and smile, wave, whatever - that's a good sign. Don't just ignore that.
As for your kiss, did you move in on her or did she show signs she wanted it? Was she stalling at the door or going straight for those keys to unlock and get in? Edit: I see your update on this.
Don't call her if you're just going to poke and prod about how the date went (even if you're going to be indirect about it...don't). That will make you come off as insecure. If you're going to call her, do it to plan another date. You'll know right then how your previous date went. If she's eager to setup another date and find free time in her schedule, you're on the right track. If she waffles back and forth about being busy or not sure about her schedule, not a good sign.
Now you say it's just been 1 day. What was the time frame inbetween dates 1 and 2? Try to keep it similar I guess. You don't want to come off as a juvenile who got a kiss and now needs to see her every 24 hrs.
I'm trying to think about how it was with me previously when dating. Usually it just flowed well if things were going well. I'd call a girl, setup a date, go on said date, and then there'd be texting in between during the week, a call again to setup next date, etc.
Screw that. After 2 dates both parties should be comfortable with calls at this point. This isn't high school.
Devolution
Member
Skype and internet chatting for the days you're apart. Also how old are each of you?
Hypereides
Member
Go ahead.
But its much easier for her and him to schedule a mutual time that way, instead of calling her up at a random time and not reach her.
In any case it'd be a better indicator of how interested she is on actually meeting again.
MutantCyborg
Member
Pretty young, Im in my second year of college. She is just graduating high school.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
What you explain in your first paragraph is the irony about feeling loved (wanted) by a woman, sometimes a turn around from 30 feet away behind glass doors, smiling and waving can show a lot more affection towards a person, than a wet lip to lip kiss, huh! who knew!?
You know when in movies the "dude who gets the girl" drives or walks away after dropping her off by tapping his feet together grinning cheek to cheek? I kinda got that feeling after the first date, and there was no kiss, a hug, barely! But I had a shitty, cheap feeling seeing her off on the second date after the kiss, wtf! She did anticipated the kiss, once she saw me get out of the car and open the door for her, she knew there will be a kiss, ( I think she was waiting for one earlier in the night, but the chicken shit that I am...) she took her time looking for her keys too, I even took your advice I even did the 90-10 and it was more like 80-20, she saw me coming in, came in at 20... stopped me at 80.. .
Here's where I fucked up, I did watch Hitch the same day before the date... The part where Hitch kisses his date for the first time? she is walking away after the kiss, he reels her in once more and gives her another kiss..this makes it so much more affectionate...well, the stupid fucker that I am, I pretended I was Will Smith (Hitch) and tried to "double dip" but instead of being smooth, it came off as desperate, very desperate attempt at snagging another kiss, the expression on her face read: "Whoa! dude we just kissed... again?" the first kiss was okay, there was no need to throw in the forced second one.. but I thought I was being smooth like Will Hitchenson!!!..FUUUUUUUUU! I think that was enough to weird her out, to not turn around and wave at me, once she entered her building, I was anticipating that turn around and wave... dearly... but never got it, felt so cold....I left her premise feeling like a cheap dirty, whoore!
I should've never watched that damn movie right before going on this date!
CrudeDiatribe
Member
If one of you has a double bed, they should host more often. Double bunking in a single bed gets really old, really fast, and you won't get enough sleep, your work will suffer and you'll probably resent the visits eventually.
Make time to talk to each other regularly.
Live your life, make new friends, encourage her to do so as well. Then you'll actually have something to talk about other than "I miss you!" a million times over. Don't be a jealous asshole, don't accept it in return.
Fuck like rabbits when you do see each other.
You are right that things will change. You will both change with age and experience; the relationship may or may not survive.
MutantCyborg
Member
Makes sense, especially the "I miss you!" scenarios.
I'm generally not a jealous type so that shouldnt be a problem.
I'm okay with the chances we have. I'm just trying to give us the best chance.
hawkshockey11
Banned
People say long distance doesn't work and I have personally had a failed long distance relationship that I really thought would work, but that doesn't mean you don't try and all. Long distance can actually be kind of fun in a weird way. It's kind of exciting having your SO branch out and experience new things. It also gives you visits to look forward to and probably the best sex of your life
.-Skype a lot. (Not too much though, at some points with my ex we would just be doing homework or browsing the web with each others faces on screen without much talking.)
-hype up visits slightly. Lots of dirty talk beforehand.
-Don't become so obsessed with her that you put yourself into a depression and deny yourself opportunities to grow and meet new people.
- Enjoy it man. Its another chapter of your life.
So yesterday I gave to my really good friend a pearl necklace I got while in Hawaii. It sure surprised her, haha, didn't see that coming at all.
So we hung out almost the whole day before I headed home, she said she had a lot of fun. I'm going to probably be hanging out with her tomorrow together with a few friends after work since she's going to leave town soon (Thursday) since school is coming up.
I was thinking about asking her out to eat supper somewhere before she leaves, maybe Wednesday after I'm finished working. I'm thinking of just texting her something like, "We should go for supper on Wednesday seeing you're gone the next day."
Thoughts?
So we hung out almost the whole day before I headed home, she said she had a lot of fun. I'm going to probably be hanging out with her tomorrow together with a few friends after work since she's going to leave town soon (Thursday) since school is coming up.
I was thinking about asking her out to eat supper somewhere before she leaves, maybe Wednesday after I'm finished working. I'm thinking of just texting her something like, "We should go for supper on Wednesday seeing you're gone the next day."
Thoughts?
You will have problems. Please don't deny this, for both your sake. If you're going to do long distance, there will be struggles. My ex and I handled it pretty well for over 3 years (we, too, were 1.5 hours apart), but it took a shit ton of effort.
We drove to see each other nearly every weekend. I sacrificed a lot of social development to be able to spend time with her.
In the end, she decided to move even further away and it ended.
Your girlfriend is just getting out of high school. She's going to change a lot in the next few months, years. So are you. The relationship may not be able to handle this. I know you must be super happy about being with her, and no one can blame you for that. But you just can't foresee all the little and big things that can cause strain on a college-age long distance relationship.
That said, here's my advice. Be strong. Don't compromise your personal growth. You will need to make sacrifices, but you must choose them wisely -- there has to be balance in the relationship.
Show affection and that you care, but do not let jealousy in. When you get to see each other, take the time to do fun, romantic, relationship things -- sitting around will breed complacency. Keep in touch, but don't bore each other with complaints about mundane everyday things. (Of course, each of you may need to vent in this manner at some point, but don't make it a regular affair.) Don't see each other every single weekend at first. It sets a precedent that is nearly impossible to uphold and will only lead to disappointment when tests or work prevent you from visiting that often.
Continue to have a social life at your school, and encourage her to do the same. You each must maintain your individuality and autonomy.
No matter how unpleasant the thought might be, know that there is the possibility that she may meet someone, or that you may as well. There's not much you can do if she starts having feelings for someone new -- it will be her decision to make.
Good luck to you.
LOL don't overthink it too much bud.
If she truly is into you, she probably found the whole first kiss thing kinda cute as far as it going a little unusual.
I've had first kisses that were pretty much like yours. Quick little pecks that happened too many times and too fast to call them successful. Yet, I still got X more number of dates with those girls since they were into me anyways. So don't sweat it.
Turn the negative into a positive. At least you showed her you have guts and interest in her by making the move for the kiss! Sure it wasn't perfect, but imagine how much worse you'd feel if you didn't do ANYTHING at all. Imagine how she'd feel too. "Wow, apparently I'm not that great if he won't even try to kiss me after a wonderful day!" etc...
So keep your chin up, give it another day or so, and then do what you feel most comfortable with in initiating the next date. Good luck.
The area where I need the most help is how to take a good conversation and then capitalize on it. I was sitting in class Friday and was talking to the girl next to me before class, and I felt like it went well. We joked back and forth and while I can't be sure if she's interested, she certainly wasn't put off.
In such a situation, how many times do I want to talk to someone before asking for a number? I don't want to ask after one conversation because that seems kind of creepy, but I have a habit of putting it off and then getting friendzoned. In other words, I'm a slow mover in terms of asking people out. I know that a girl being friendly to me isn't a sign that she's interested in me, but by the same token it means that she might be interested in me and I have to be willing to take the plunge. I'm capable of handling rejection. It's going to happen.
How fast is too fast? How slow is too slow?
In such a situation, how many times do I want to talk to someone before asking for a number? I don't want to ask after one conversation because that seems kind of creepy, but I have a habit of putting it off and then getting friendzoned. In other words, I'm a slow mover in terms of asking people out. I know that a girl being friendly to me isn't a sign that she's interested in me, but by the same token it means that she might be interested in me and I have to be willing to take the plunge. I'm capable of handling rejection. It's going to happen.
How fast is too fast? How slow is too slow?
Sup
TheSchwab_7
Member
I just learned that my girlfriend cheated on her ex boyfriend with me and then lied to both of us
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I'm trying to fix this. That's why I'm here.
How can you tell a girl is interested in you? Just ask her out! It's that simple. What matters is that you found interest in her and you want to see the potential between you two. The whole act of dating is about getting to know each other.
I wouldn't worry about going too fast because you seem to establish common ground or good vibe before taking interest. Guys get a number after just talking to a girl in less than two minutes all the time. There's nothing creepy about that.
Omegasquash
Member
That's...hm. Does it alter your trust in her in any way?
MutantCyborg
Member
People say long distance doesn't work and I have personally had a failed long distance relationship that I really thought would work, but that doesn't mean you don't try and all. Long distance can actually be kind of fun in a weird way. It's kind of exciting having your SO branch out and experience new things. It also gives you visits to look forward to and probably the best sex of your life
-Skype a lot. (Not too much though, at some points with my ex we would just be doing homework or browsing the web with each others faces on screen without much talking.)
-hype up visits slightly. Lots of dirty talk beforehand.
-Don't become so obsessed with her that you put yourself into a depression and deny yourself opportunities to grow and meet new people.
- Enjoy it man. Its another chapter of your life.
Thanks for the advice. I didn't mean that we would be perfect, I'm just trying to be as positive I can about this whole situation as it is hard for the both of us. Hopefully we can maintain our relationship for the foreseeable future.
I am pretty sure I am stuck in the stupidest situation in the world right now :/
Ok so that girl I was hanging out with turned out to be seeing her ex the whole time (who is cheating on his current gf) and she isn't even sure if she wants him back but I am pretty much like "Well I'm out!". Now 2 old friends from high school are wanting to hang out with me out of the blue so I am cool with that but haven't been able to find a free day yet.
Anyways today the girl I was originally seeing is now saying sorry she was being so dismissive and ect.........why can't this stuff ever be simple or straight forward.
Ok so that girl I was hanging out with turned out to be seeing her ex the whole time (who is cheating on his current gf) and she isn't even sure if she wants him back but I am pretty much like "Well I'm out!". Now 2 old friends from high school are wanting to hang out with me out of the blue so I am cool with that but haven't been able to find a free day yet.
Anyways today the girl I was originally seeing is now saying sorry she was being so dismissive and ect.........why can't this stuff ever be simple or straight forward.
FallingEdge
Member
Why do you feel bad?
Omegasquash
Member
I got confused reading your post. The girl you've talked to is seeing her ex while talking to you, and that ex is cheating on his current GF. This girl you're seeing isn't sure that she wants to be with this guy, even though she's seeing him? And now this same girl is apologetic to you because she was dismissive?
If I'm reading it right, then you're right in getting the F out.
As for your high school friends...just pick a day that you're free and set something up. If it's pressing, make time.
Yeah pretty much, Im not too upset over it, just more a less a waste of my time and effort, still her friend though.
Also that might take awhile, been super busy recently but I do plan on setting up some dates.
Almost any guy will ignore this advice (as we all usually think with our dicks), but don't ever get involved with a girl who's still seeing / talking to her ex. It's not worth your time.
Omegasquash
Member
Walked that walk once with a girl. She led me on a bit, and only let me know she was seeing someone else when I leaned in for a kiss. We had been to movies, hung out lots 1:1 at night, etc.
I'll grant you I was a rookie at the time and moved too slowly, so it was probably my fault for not making a move earlier. Can't blame her, really.
Sounds shitty, man. You'll bounce back off of it.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
OKCupid is such a roller coaster. I should really just go out to some coffee shops or something. Although I seem to have less luck there. Hmm.
Why even be her friend? You're just giving her what she wants (attention from other men) while she can mess around with her ex.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Yeah I mean she seemed pretty shaken up when she told me cause she cried pretty hard, but now shes like get over it and its in the past now...im like its been two days since you told me. Her ex cheated on her and I always told her how it was tough for me to completely trust any girl cause most have cheated on me and she basically did the same as her ex.
RedNalgene
Member
Just make sure you put her in the "friend" bucket and not the "relationship" bucket in your head. Otherwise you'll find yourself continuing to show interest in her, even if it's not really a conscious decision. I've always found it very hard to flip that switch - it's really never the same once you date someone and start to develop those types of feelings, very tough to go back.
You can continue to try to be a friend in her life, just be aware of how you're feeling about her and how you two act together. If you're going to say "nope" to the relationship then you need to mean it, otherwise you're going to unknowingly get strung along.
well we never even got to go out on a date we planned because of what happened so flipping that switch is pretty easy since we were not romantically involved whatsoever.
Quoted for truth
Dinner and drinks? Dinner and a local band? I always thought movies were bizarre for first dates since you can't talk. At least if you go see a local band play you can sit outside and talk if they suck.
Pollux
Member
So the girl responded and we're meeting at a bar/restaurant near where she works after she gets off work. We've been texting back and forth since yesterday afternoon and I feel like we have a lot of stuff in common. I've got a good feeling about this one so we'll see how it goes. I don't want to get too hopeful that the date will go well...but I'm feeling pretty good about it right now based on the texts.
We clicked pretty well at the bar on friday and she was the one who asked me for my number...
I mean I figure the texting is a good sign, right?
I'm over thinking this.
Wish me luck.
I'll be sure to follow the #1 rule and not post about the date on GAF while I'm actually on the date.
We clicked pretty well at the bar on friday and she was the one who asked me for my number...
I mean I figure the texting is a good sign, right?
I'm over thinking this.
Wish me luck.
I'll be sure to follow the #1 rule and not post about the date on GAF while I'm actually on the date.
Don't know much about a local band playing. I do have a place I want to take her to eat, I think it may be unusual though and I can't explain it since it's a Brazilian thing.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Bowling is pretty great. So is an burger-arcade place like Dave N' Busters.Mini-golf is excellent as well. Don't count out small hikes either!
Think fun activity where you can still talk to each other!
- Status