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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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kitchenmotors said:
Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone. :D

I gotta give a shout out to my favorite bitch Sai-Kun for getting me a ticket to go see Passion Pit with him in February and Kisaya for the How To Destroy Angels - An Omen EP vinyl.

Love you bitches.

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Happy bday GURL.

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Sai-kun said:
okay guys, when did steve carrell get so hot

what happened
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Beard and suit happened. That's all. Don't get me wrong, he looks good clean shaven but the beard really helps him launch into "hot" orbit.
 
Exterminieren said:
So what do I do if my family fundamentally despises who I am?

I mean, I haven't told them, but they've made themselves absolutely crystal clear.
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The only way you'll really know who they are is if you make it known to them who you really are. All members of my family were "100% against the homosexual agenda" but were suddenly not so certain in their beliefs when I was the first person in who knows how many generations of the family to come out. Suddenly the "problem" was within the tribe. A few outright don't accept me for who I am.

When the time feels right and the circumstances are good, break the ice. It is liberating because with nothing to hide, you can focus on the people who accept you for who you are, and move on and away from the people who won't.
 
Exterminieren said:
So what do I do if my family fundamentally despises who I am?

I mean, I haven't told them, but they've made themselves absolutely crystal clear.
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They might change their views, however is usually not a good sign. How is it crystal clear? I heard the nastiest things from my dad yet he accepted I was gay, it had lots of tears and it is still something he can barely mention, but I wasn't kicked out of the house or anything like that.
 
mantidor said:
They might change their views, however is usually not a good sign. How is it crystal clear? I heard the nastiest things from my dad yet he accepted I was gay, it had lots of tears and it is still something he can barely mention, but I wasn't kicked out of the house or anything like that.
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It's just something that's held as one of the worst aspects of modern life in my family, I guess. It's not anything anyone in my family has ever had to confront, so they're just content in blindly hating it.

I posted that because I talked with my dad last night and mentioned a friend who was bi. He wasn't complementary.

But that was a mildly drunken, long dark night of the soul post last night. I'll try not to do that again. :)
 
From what I've seen, family members often exaggerate their opinions about homosexuality when they are talking to their "to-be outed" kids.. Not sure why this happens, maybe they want to make sure they are against it, or maybe it is an attempt to scare them off into being straight. However, when kids resist and eventually tell their parents, while they might not be happy, they actually are surprinsingly more broad minded than they had revealed themselves to be.

Of course, this might not apply to many cases and it is always a surprise. But many times parents already know or suspect their children might be gay, one way or the other. Unfortunately they can't react in a way that is encouraging to them. Instead they can't resist but hope that it will pass and that is why they show this firm negative opinion about it.
 
What's people's opinions on... *points* downstairs piercings?

I went out with someone with one and it was interesting to say the least. Thought it was rather awkward. Not a fan.
 
Katana_Strikes said:
What's people's opinions on... *points* downstairs piercings?

I went out with someone with one and it was interesting to say the least. Thought it was rather awkward. Not a fan.
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I'm not a fan of the way the piercing and the hole looks, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. What was awkward about it?
 
needlejuice said:
I hear you but it's hard to just accept what I'm hearing.

But I can't compete with God!
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You are so much better off. If it was that he had some spiritual awakening and decided to dedicate his life to god or Buddha or whatever it would suck but well, it's his life. But we are talking about someone who can't accept himself, that never has a good ending, ever.
 
_Isaac said:
I'm not a fan of the way the piercing and the hole looks, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. What was awkward about it?
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Well it was just odd I guess. Plus maybe his piercing was rather big which didn't help either. Dunno if it's any better for him, but it wasn't better for me. People are so selfish ;)
 
Mr. F said:
Friday night haircuts, because no social life.

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(Carrell's a handsome dude.)
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You remind me of that character from Friends. What was his name again?
:P
Anyway, you look good :)

needlejuice said:
I've no idea what to do. :(
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It seems he's simply not happy with being gay, but I dunno if the brainwashing that is "pray the gay" is the right thing to do. Maybe try to convince him to visit a psychologist or something first.
 
Teh Hamburglar said:
been reading on Victor Ferenbach's dismissal from the military back before DADT was repealed. I never realized how how hot he was. Love me some bald men. I wonder how these people who left, both willingly and unwillingly, are dealing with the repeal or if they reenlisted.





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He is ridiculously handsome.
 
I know this has come up before, but I'm asking for somebody else - how do you (gay) guys feel about eating a girl out? Repulsed or just not interested? Would you ever like to try it (just once) to see what it's like?

Diseased Yak said:
My beard: Yay or nay?

Really close to cutting it off, but then somethings I think it looks bad ass...
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Need a shaved pic of you for comparison!

Mr_Zombie said:
It seems he's simply not happy with being gay, but I dunno if the brainwashing that is "pray the gay" is the right thing to do. Maybe try to convince him to visit a psychologist or something first.
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I agree. Maybe try to get him to see a psychologist/psychiatrist first, or try to go with him to a couple's counselor, or show him some links about the negative effects of "pray the gay away". I don't think you should just leave him in the clutches of the pray the gay away assholes!
 
RatskyWatsky said:
I know this has come up before, but I'm asking for somebody else - how do you (gay) guys feel about eating a girl out? Repulsed or just not interested? Would you ever like to try it (just once) to see what it's like?
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I'm bi so not what you asked for but I never understood why straight guys are turned off by it
 
RatskyWatsky said:
I know this has come up before, but I'm asking for somebody else - how do you (gay) guys feel about eating a girl out? Repulsed or just not interested? Would you ever like to try it (just once) to see what it's like?
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Repulsed is a strong word, but it wouldn't do anything for me, so I can't imagine exactly what I'd get out of it. There are plenty of things I'm not going to experience, and out of all of them, that's not one of the things I'm going to regret.
 
Thanks all for the support and advice. However he's extremely determined to give his life meaning and purpose. That of course means a wife and kids.

It's heart breaking to have to deal with this. He wants my friendship and support but nothing more. I'm not sure I can do that.

Anyway thanks again and well I'm just going to have to try and get on with my life without him.
 
needlejuice said:
Thanks all for the support and advice. However he's extremely determined to give his life meaning and purpose. That of course means a wife and kids.
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Why not a husband and kids?

Anyway, that sucks. Pray the gay away never ends well, so hopefully he doesn't try to do anything drastic when the therapy doesn't work.
 
RatskyWatsky said:
Why not a husband and kids?

Anyway, that sucks. Pray the gay away never ends well, so hopefully he doesn't try to do anything drastic when the therapy doesn't work.
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Husband and kids wouldn't exactly work too well given our circumstances.

He's said if the god shit doesn't work he will live a life of abstenance, rather than deal with the guilt of what he's doing.

I knew something like this was on the cards when he started going to church about a month ago.
 
TheSeks said:
That must've been weird for you.

Also you're... 30(?) they still did this in the 90's?
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Henchmen21 said:
You say that like he's an old man.
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Yup, I'm 34. This whole "blowjobs in the locker room" prayer incident thingy happened back in 1992
(holy shit.. that's 20 years ago!)
. Physically and mentally, I feel like I'm in my 20s. Culturally, I'm a grumpy old man already. Honestly, I couldn't tell Rihanna(sp?) apart from one of the Kardashian people.

Mom says I'm "Out. Of. Touch."

(My partner - whom I met when I was 18 - turned 40 earlier this year. In gay terms, we're oooold, haha!)

RatskyWatsky said:
I know this has come up before, but I'm asking for somebody else - how do you (gay) guys feel about eating a girl out? Repulsed or just not interested? Would you ever like to try it (just once) to see what it's like?
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*vomits*
 
needlejuice said:
Husband and kids wouldn't exactly work too well given our circumstances.

He's said if the god shit doesn't work he will live a life of abstenance, rather than deal with the guilt of what he's doing.

I knew something like this was on the cards when he started going to church about a month ago.
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Damn, that's rough. Obviously the pray the gay away isn't going to work, but I'm pretty sure that living a life of abstinence isn't going to pan out either. He's eventually going to crack and return to having sex with men, and the guilt from "returning to that lifestyle" might make him do something rash.

Before he started going to church a month ago, was he an out and proud gay, or was he closeted? At the very least, maybe you could introduce him to some religious types who are accepting of gays?

I'm trying to think of something you can do, but I can't think of anything. I really hate to see someone go down that destructive and painful road.
 
needlejuice said:
Thanks all for the support and advice. However he's extremely determined to give his life meaning and purpose. That of course means a wife and kids.

It's heart breaking to have to deal with this. He wants my friendship and support but nothing more. I'm not sure I can do that.

Anyway thanks again and well I'm just going to have to try and get on with my life without him.
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You can leave him as a boyfriend, but don't leave him as a friend. He will need you. "Pray the gay away" basically encourages you to hate who you are and what you're doing (as a gay); Needless to say, that's not healthy, especially since the "pray away" method isn't really effective.
 
RatskyWatsky said:
I know this has come up before, but I'm asking for somebody else - how do you (gay) guys feel about eating a girl out? Repulsed or just not interested? Would you ever like to try it (just once) to see what it's like?
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I've done that before (while extremely drunk) to a lesbian friend. It was.. unappealing but not really repulsive.. like eating a papaya, i suppose.
 
I didnt know we still had the pray away the gay types. Is he going to one of those facilities where they condition gays to suppress their sexuality?
 
RatskyWatsky said:
Why not a husband and kids?

Anyway, that sucks. Pray the gay away never ends well, so hopefully he doesn't try to do anything drastic when the therapy doesn't work.
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It seems to work well for asshole parents. They pray and eventually their gay son will leave.

edit: now I'm reading the context. It's quite sad :(
 
Apologies I don't know how to multi quote but to answer the above questions...

He was semi closeted and these feelings were recent. I just believe that truth be told he's not happy being gay and is prepared to do whatever it takes to not live that life.

Trust me I want him in my life in whatever capacity is possible but it will hurt like hell to be near him but not near him if you know what I mean.

Is there much/any literature out there about trying to change your sexuality?
 
needlejuice said:
Apologies I don't know how to multi quote but to answer the above questions...

He was semi closeted and these feelings were recent. I just believe that truth be told he's not happy being gay and is prepared to do whatever it takes to not live that life.

Trust me I want him in my life in whatever capacity is possible but it will hurt like hell to be near him but not near him if you know what I mean.

Is there much/any literature out there about trying to change your sexuality?
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You can't change it. You can condition animals (humans) to behave any way you want them to though. It doesn't change the fact they are still sexual beings. I don't have any specific books/readings but the studies are pretty conclusive.
 
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