I spent the entire weekend doing absolutely nothing. It's funny, I spend all week miserable at work and looking forward to the weekend, and then I spend all weekend miserable because I have nothing to do. I was too depressed to even go to the cafe and read like I usually do when I'm bored. It's hard to muster up any motivation for even the smallest of things, like going to a cafe, or grocery shopping, or cleaning my dishes, when nothing seems to matter. I really see myself dying alone and miserable with no accomplishments at this point. The past couple years I've been going through life with this vague sense of "my time is up". I just don't see things turning around for me at this point. Never having been on a date, not knowing how to make friends, having cripplingly low self-confidence and no direction in life at 21 is a problem. At 31 it's hopeless.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Are you fucking insane? The thought of going to prison stopped you, not that you'd kill the other driver(s)?
why should I care about that?
people think there is something wrong with you and avoid you
doesnt help that everything I look at looks fragmented and broken and makes me nauseous, making nothing seem real
Bel Marduk
Banned
Its your right to kill yourself but really.. what the fuck? Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you should kill others. Have you ever thought of having yourself committed? It sounds like you seriously need inpatient care. At least for a little while?
User 100115
Banned
It's really, really sad how much winning some vidding awards has perked up my day. Seriously, so much shit going wrong, and I win some stupid awards that amount to nothing more that bragging rights and some pretty pictures, and I am overjoyed.
My life is weird.
My life is weird.
scar tissue
Banned
same here. every single self help book against anxiety I've read was written by morons, for morons.
At least two of them actually had the gall to suggest becoming religious would help. Fuck off with that shit. My strong atheistic convictions aside: any religion featuring an omnipotent, benevolent god is not one I will subscribe to.
If anything, malevolent design might be a thing. Any kind of "creator" or "god", if he exists, must be an asshole, given the state of the world.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Hey, if you suffer from major depression, then it isn't sad for anything to perk up your day. So congrats
been there
dont want to go back
its not about whether you should or shouldnt
when you have nothing to lose, and only the void of death remaining, there is no such thing as empathy
well one of your family members should probably try to put you back in there cuz you talkin crazy son. you didn't like it in there, you don't like it outside, at least in there you're not going to hurt anybody.
You can be depressed and not be a homicidal dickhead. Try it out sometime.
scar tissue
Banned
Well, he's probably got a more severe depression.
I'd try to make my death as convenient as possible for others, but that fact alone means I'm probably not (yet) suicidal.
Edit: Dunno if you care, but I like you, Uchip. *hug*
How do you figure that? Do you have scales that weigh up everything that is happening right now?
scar tissue
Banned
If I was omnipotent, I'd sort shit out so that there was exactly zero evil that wasn't caused by the free will of humans (and other higher animals, such as primates)
No AIDS, no earthquakes, no radiation poisoning,...
"God" chose to create bullshit like HIV and earthquakes, hence he is evil.
Or would be, if he existed.
Sounds like drink talking. This is incoherent logic.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Vidding awards? I don't know what that is, but congrats all the same! I also can become overjoyed by the most seemingly "pointless" things. For example, achieving a platinum trophy on a PS3 game - it's the most irrelevant thing in the world, but it makes me really happy when I get one.
I thought so too until I read this:
Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth
This is as honest a self help book can get and I have gained many insights from it. It has helped me to take distance from my identity and to be honest as much as possible. I've been telling people that I can't help being quiet because I'm introvert, that I have no friends and I've shared feelings and thoughts that I've never shared before and it opened up other people to reveal themselves to me too. One of the things I found out is that some people considered me suspicious because I don't say much. They assumed that I was having negative thoughts about them. Now every time I meet new people I present myself the way I really am. I no longer try to pose as someone I'm not (ie an extrovert). I share my thoughts and desires with people like I never have before. So far it's working out really well.
So many new possibilities have opened up thanks to this book. I can't recommend it enough.
Oh I see you're the lawyer playing devil's advocate. Only pretending to be looking at it objectively.
scar tissue
Banned
Thanks, ordering it ASAP.I thought so too until I read this:
Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth
This is as honest a self help book can get and I have gained many insights from it. It has helped me to take distance from my identity and to be honest as much as possible. I've been telling people that I can't help being quiet because I'm introvert, have no friends and shared feelings I haven't before and it opened up other people to reveal themselves to me too. One of the things I found out is that some people considered me suspicious because I don't say much. They assumed that I was having negative thoughts about them.
So many new possibilities have opened up thanks to this book. I can't recommend it enough.
User 100115
Banned
Thanks
Vidding is a stupid hobby some people have where they take a tv show and and a song and make a music video out it. I really enjoy doing it.
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
Can we keep the religion arguing out of this thread. I can see where it's going and we already have a thread for that.
Cool.
scar tissue
Banned
What am I not looking at objectively? I'm not even saying there is more evil than good on the world. I have no idea at all if there is more good, more evil or how I would even measure that.
What I do know is that there is a shitload of suffering and evil in the world.
Tell me why a benevolent and omnipotent being would create stuff like HIV. Why he would choose to give people depression, or even create such a thing.
I'm not suggesting anything radically new here, this stuff has been around since 300 BC (Epicurus), and yet no-one has provided a solid answer.
Edit:
Okay.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Thanks
Oh right, I remember! I saw one of your videos - I think it was a Dr. Who one. It was cool!
Sounds like the first class was ok for you. If you follow my lessons the synesthesia might not even be an issue. Can you tell me more about the synesthesia? I'm not really familiar with it, I'll try to think of ways to help you.
Yeah, I'm making it super super easy on purpose so anyone can do it, I think everyone in this thread should do follow along. Even if you already meditate, I'm going to do a lot of cool stuff that you haven't done before. And it will all fit into 2 minute meditations so you can definitely make time for it. If you're lazy(as depression often makes you) you can do it standing, sitting or even lying down. If Miyamoto was going to make a meditation program, this is what he would come up with
Also, if you are participating, can you please post saying so, it'll encourage others to take part and making a public statement will help keep you motivated. Any other feedback or reviews of how you are getting along are also appreciated(you can post or even pm me if you like)
Lesson 2 (30 seconds of meditation)
The first class was an introduction to correct breathing. This will build on that but first as preparation I want you to first tense up your entire body. You don't need to tense it too much(doesn't have to be painful) but the key is to tense all of it. Quickly scan your body, scan your legs and feet(and toes) make sure they're tensed, scan you torso and back and make sure it's tensed, scan your arms and hands make sure they're tensed, scan your neck and head make your it's tensed. Close your eyes and squeeze them a little and also tense your face a little. Tense everything for say 5 seconds and then release and relax your body.
Then you're gonna start your breathing. Breathing is a skill and we're working to improve it. In the first class you learned to breath deeply and fully by breathing all the way into your belly. This time we're gonna focus on breathing as smoothly as possible. When you finish running a sprint your body is starved of oxygen, it goes into panic mode, you breathe in sharply and start panting, you push each breath out rapidly. We're trying to achieve the opposite, we're trying to be relaxed. When you breath in there's not a sudden intake of breath, there's a smooth acceleration in your breathing in.
After you have filled your lungs you then start to breath out. I want you to make the transition as smooth as possible. When you start to breath out, it's not like you push your breath out, it's more like you are letting your breath out. Breathing in takes effort, breathing out is more a release. When you breathe out, I want you to breathe out for twice as long as you breathed in. So the rate of the airflow is half of the inbreath. This requires some conscious control and slowing it down and keeping it smooth. At the same time with each outbreath also try to relax your body a little more.
Do 3 or 4 breaths, try to make each breath a little longer and smoother than the last. And each time you breath out relax your body a little more. That's it. Long explanation, but it all fits into 30 seconds or so
there needs to be a balance.
anyways, stop thinking about god or any of that stuff. just work on yourself.
are you going to explain how its incoherent or just leave with the boozer statement?
It's not just about empathy, it's also about morality. If you kill someone you end all their potential in life, you may cause them a lot of pain in the process of death, you can cause untold suffering to anyone that knows them, possibly even to the point where they become depressed. You may cause someone(or many people) that are happy to end up suffering the way you are suffering. Do you really want to do that?
Logically the best thing to do is get help. Unless you don't have a sense of morality?
I'd think one would have loved to have more empathy the lower you are in a hole. Beggars would love the passing kindness of a stranger.
Poverty stricken children in Africa could be said to be absolutely dependent on the charity of well off foreigners.
the dead have no regrets
then you have simply misread what I posted
lets not bring starving kids in Africa into this
scar tissue
Banned
Yeah, I only brought that up because a lot of self-help books seem to recommend spirituality, which I do not agree with.
I work on myself every single day. If I wouldn't, I'd only leave my flat twice a week for groceries, quit my job, quit university and stop seeing any of my friends.
Social anxiety makes everything, even stuff that's supposed to be fun only, pretty difficult. Add depression and ADD and you have a pretty frustrating mixture.
It appeared incoherent. Try framing it with another example. What you wrote wasn't logical - it was an observation or an opinion at best.
scar tissue
Banned
Not that I necessarily agree with his point of view, the idea that nothing matters if you're going to die is pretty coherent and valid.
ok
using your own example
starving children don't necessarily have broken brain chemical balances that prevent them from giving a shit.
It's still incoherent. But I think I understand you a little bit more. You're not thinking rationally, you are arguing from what you are feeling right now. I think.
Are you saying you are incapable of empathy? or that you don't care to be empathetic because you feel so shite?
scar tissue
Banned
Ah, I forgot about this one. I read it a year ago, because GAF recommended it. It's leagues better than the other self-help books I read, but since my problems are very specific (social anxiety), it didn't really do anything for me.
And every book on social anxiety I've read is bullshit.
That actually sounds pretty good. I wonder if the stuff is applicable to someone with SA though.
both, really
Im surprised that I reasoned myself into driving home safely
still want you to tell me what was incoherent about what I posted specifically
because im reading it again and its pretty easy for me to follow
Cool. I was just informing you of the debate you stumbled into between by myself and Uchip.
Is this recent or has this supposed lack of empathy always existed?
Collete
Member
Still no legit pc. Could be days till a new onecomes in. much less I don't even know I'll even get it. mean time i'm stuck with this pc borrowed from parents that can't even type well. I still have a paper due this wednesday no idea how I'll finish. and two more exams coming up. *sigh*
/rant.
/rant.
I think I cared when my first granddad died some 16 years ago
Like I know I should care when someone gets seriously injured, but it just doesnt effect me.
Another reason that I should omit myself from the human race, perhaps.
and stop fucking telling me to get help
ive been getting professional help for many years
I meant right now. Instead of at an allotted time with a therapist. Don't you have a their number or something?
It's not to be patronising but our bodies don't work according to the work day patterns.
First of all you don't know that. There might be some kind of 'afterlife' at which point you might regret it big time.
Secondly, you're not dead yet so it's not relevent. Right now you are alive, the decisions you make are as a living human being. So right now, are you saying you don't care if other people suffer the way you do right now? Are you saying you don't have any sense of morality?
Bel Marduk
Banned
Have you tried medication? Xanax?
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