Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
- Thread starter Delio
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Blood Diamonds
Banned
So hey everyone, how are you all doing? I'm excited for this new year... specially since I plan to make progress on acceptance (Still on the coming out to myself stage) I'll be turning 16 in 2013 and I think it's at least time to fully accept myself and maybe even tell my parents, though I don't think that'll happen. Which brings me to my next question... at what age did you guys start feeling comfortable with being gay? Honestly, I was afraid at first and all that was on my mind about the subject was "Why me?" as if it was something kind of curse, and fast-forward to today I feel a lot better about it, sure, I'm still a little afraid, but not as much as the before where i'd start getting really scared thinking about the future.
It wasn't until I was 20 that I was willing to think about it. The. Took me a couple years to be comfortable with it. It is scary at first, and can't promise it will ever feel 100% normal.
I don't think I could have done that when I was 16. I was pretty asexual then anyway.
I dunno I'd say don't feel pressured to be something you're not. You don't have to be a living stereotype.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I was in my late 20s before I was somewhat okay with it, and 28 when I started coming out to people. That's a long stretch of tortured youth and wasted years that I'll never have back. Don't make the same mistake.
Honestly, I felt the most comfortable with it at 18. It's when my family finally started accepting what I was after i came out to them a year prior.
Downgrade total.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
It was inconceivable up until I was almost 19.
GasProblem
Member
I was 10-11 when I knew, but I was 22 when I felt comfortable enough with it to come out.
And this real pic January feels weird
And this real pic January feels weird
Phonomezer
Banned
About 18. Came out when I was 19. It was a non-issue.
I never needed to "come out to myself", I pretty much always knew. And it may be because I never really refrained from being myself, but I found when I started to came out to family members (like 5 years ago when I was 20) that it was quite underwhelming and uneventful, nothing changed at all. No sudden feeling of freedom or anything like that. So I always advice, tell people if and when you want to tell them, but not because you're supposed to tell them and must do it as soon as possible for some reason.
Lol thanks!
Necromanti
Member
Yeah, everyone should do it when they feel ready to do it. And if they feel that they are actively hiding it, or are uncomfortable with the fact, then take baby steps towards acceptance. I wouldn't expect someone from a country where homosexuality is punishable by incarceration or death to be eager to come out, either. :d
This thread is the handsomest thread ever! Way to go, gayGAF!
shintoki?
Keep sparkling!
Oh you, you're just returning the favor since I find you so handsome too.
Okay, its working. <3
Phonomezer
Banned
I can identify with a lot of that.
Some good advice was already given... so I just want to add: don't worry too much about it, and I say "too much" cause worrying is OK, even healthy at times, otherwise you wouldn't take actions or explore beyond your comfort zone. Just keep trying, make the effort, eventually you will find some balance and start enjoying yourself.
You are extremely handsome, so... you got it a bit easier than others
Bel Marduk
Banned
I did at 14 but it's different for everyone. Why are you so apprehensive about telling your parents? Have they said a lot of homophobic things in the past? How do you think your friends would react? The thing about coming out is that you only have to do it once and that people find it much easier to be hateful toward someone else if its someone "other" rather than if its one of your friends or family. For that reason, I think all gay people should come out but everyone should have their own pace.
When did julls change his user name? :O
And I am still waiting for this:
Clean Delio is my favorite Delio.Haha people always say that when I chop all my hair off. I like that
Cool_points = ∞;
Not returning any favors, you look so pretty! :3
And I am still waiting for this:
Yup, I'll be in. I was in last year.
damn, I apologize for not remembering :/, thing is, most faces I remember come from the "post your real pic" thread. I remember using a real pic avatar last january for a couple of days but I really wasn't paying much attention to anything on gaf back then, I was breaking up with my ex, life was shit, etc...
Where have you seen me at? In your dreams maybe?
that's true
I haven't seen you. Are you gonna show yourself? About time you did XD
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
Who is he now?
I've seen your comments before - you should really stop being so hard on yourself. Reading your posts one could imagine that you're a really ugly fellow - but that's not true. You look good.
He was all the way to the end for me, probably 4th page or so.
Nah man, you're fine looking
Er, I'd say around 18 I was comfortable with myself...kinda had to leave my shitty home town to embrace "I'm gay". I only told one brother so far and he;s cool with it, nothing awkward, we're still cool and I like that
I was planning on telling my other brother, my sister and my parents over the holiday but my mom got sick so...we'll see. I'll tell them when I can.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
Talking about coming out, I have an hilarious story.
One of my gay friends still hadn't come out, at the ripe age of 30. So he finally told his mother in law. She told him, your dad will understand. Trust me, your dad will understand. My friend was scared since his dad is this huge tattooed guy who works construction.
So last week, he sit with his dad and his mother-in-law to finally tell his dad. Turns out that the mother-in-law did her coming out: she's a pre-op transexual. My friend freaked out lol.
Just to say, you never know when your alpha male dad is actually banging a chick-with-a-dick for over 20 years.
One of my gay friends still hadn't come out, at the ripe age of 30. So he finally told his mother in law. She told him, your dad will understand. Trust me, your dad will understand. My friend was scared since his dad is this huge tattooed guy who works construction.
So last week, he sit with his dad and his mother-in-law to finally tell his dad. Turns out that the mother-in-law did her coming out: she's a pre-op transexual. My friend freaked out lol.
Just to say, you never know when your alpha male dad is actually banging a chick-with-a-dick for over 20 years.
Dead Prince
Banned
The rest who are living are in another country. and since they aren't so great with english i'm in the clear. ;P
Necromanti
Member
I only have one grandparent left, but I doubt I'd ever have the time or the context to bring it up. Guess I'm lucky in that I wouldn't have to worry about that. The only family member I'd consider telling (and who I have a relationship with) would be my mother, anyway.
yeah gaygaf is handsome gaf, or good photographer gaf heh
sorry for being cynical, someone stole my cellphone last night and I'm so bummed out, but you guys are a handsome bunch!
The upside, I had never seen so many hot guys in one place in my life where I was... ok, to be honest thats not an upside, I didn't even talk with anyone, getting your cellphone stolen sucks beyond words.
sorry for being cynical, someone stole my cellphone last night and I'm so bummed out, but you guys are a handsome bunch!
The upside, I had never seen so many hot guys in one place in my life where I was... ok, to be honest thats not an upside, I didn't even talk with anyone, getting your cellphone stolen sucks beyond words.
My family is large and tight <_< They will know in a matter of weeks and then family gatherings will be ...fun <_<
Dead Prince
Banned
oh hi there.
oh grandparents, I only have one living, and she knows, we ended up discussing in a family party, I was drunk so it wasn't the best, and it was an asshole uncle of mine outing me, however I'm confident she knew, and so did my other grand mother, I think that they will probably be the most accepting among any family, or the ones that are going to reject it the most, theres not going to be a middle ground with them.
However I think most grandparents are going to be pretty ok with it, for a grandparent the grandchild is like their own kid without the responsibilities, they simply adore them and spoil them, while I'm sure there are homophobic grandparents out there, it just seems odd for a grandparent to not be ok with his or her gay child.
My grandfather? No. My grandmother, I didn't tell her. She already knew. Most of the females in my family knew from when I was growing up. The only person I explicitly told was my youngest aunt. Everyone else just picked up on it, and my step-mother called me out of the blue one day and said "Your father and I just wanted to tell you that we know, and we still love you."
So... My "coming out" was pretty smooth.
That's my concern. News travels FAST in my family.
I'm not sure where my grandparents would fall, but just thinking about the awkwardness gives me goosebumps.
GasProblem
Member
The people in my family who I wanted to come out to know. Not especially close to my grandparents so didn't feel the need to come out to them in person.
I only had one living grandparent from age 5 on.. my Maw-Maw. The others had all passed of various forms of cancer before I grew-up. I never got to tell her, although she met HylianGreg many times and was probably eventually wise to what's up.
The closest I ever got to telling her: she was an incredibly religious Catholic woman, but I remember her commenting on how gay men are the very best sons because they're often momma's boys who take great care of their parents when they get older. I mean.. she went on and on about it for a while. To this, I responded, "well, you can bet Mom & Dad are covered. They're gonna live with me!"
Toward the end of her life, she knew that we were thinking of eventually moving back to NOLA, and kept telling me, "you and Greg and Jake can move in with ME! Y'all can have the front bedroom!"
She looooved Jake and got along famously with Greg. I still feel bad that we didn't make it back in time.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
That's weird!
My current display name is Rez, but I thought it was based on my username.
Hey, Dragonlife just so you don't think I was kidding about that dressing room thing.
I don't know who Greg and Jake are, but this was very heart-warming.
Greg is his husband. Jake is... I dunno. Third wheel?
Necromanti
Member
My guess is the dog.
(If not, congrats.)I haven't told her directly since my mom told her, but we have discussed it and she has met one of my ex when he came with me to France for Christmas a few years ago. She is very much Catholic, but she's also a very clever and smart woman. She's pro-marriage and pro-adoption and she just wants us to be happy, like every grandparent should.
Both my granddads were dead when I was born and my other grandma died when I was 18 so I didn't have time to tell her. I often wonder how she would have taken it. She was a kind and friendly person who was very proud of all her grandkids, but she was also not OK with gays from what I gathered. It would have been interesting to see how she would have reconciled loving me and not liking gays.
One thing is sure, at the end of the day family or not, if someone can't find it in themselves to realize that being gay is no big deal and should not be a reason to dislike someone, then they're not worth my time.
BlazingDarkness
Member
realpic GayGAF is best GAF
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
This is basically an accepted inevitability when coming out, whether amongst family or friends. People talk; it isn't done maliciously (in most cases, at least) and should be something you're prepared to be faced with if you want to start telling folks about that innate cock-lust.
Myself, I never had the opportunity to tell my grandparents on either side. They had all passed away by that time.
That was my first assumption.
My guess is the dog.
I thought you were joking, but you were right!
I just now realized that I don't think I have EVER seen my grandparents talk about homosexuality. The topic has never come up, so I don't really have any idea about their views. I do know that they're all pretty religious, so that's a little disconcerting.
*tear*
This is basically an accepted inevitability when coming out, whether amongst family or friends. People talk; it isn't done maliciously (in most cases, at least) and should be something you're prepared to be faced with if you want to start telling folks about that innate cock-lust.
This is very true. Most people that I've told have actually asked me about my level of "outness." I think that was pretty nice of them, so I don't think there's been that much news about me travelling around. That and my mom sure as hell makes every effort to prevent that. She will send assassins.
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