Emergency shit contigency plans

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Proelite

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Hi Gaf,

What are some the methods that you employ to make sure that you make it to a restroom on time while you're out and about?

Consider the scenarios:

You're hiking on a popular trail and you get the urge.

You're stuck on a crowded subway / train.

You're stuck in traffic.

You're walking alone in the city at night and most of the stores are closed.
 
When I think of contingency plans, all I could think of is:
jeff_goldblum_2.jpeg
 
You don't ever have the type where it takes you only 10-15 minutes from feeling normal to feeling like you need to give anal birth?

For me, it's entirely subconscious.

If my body knows that I won't be able to go for a while, it just compartmentalizes the urge to shit.

However, if I know a bathroom is nearby, and I'm able to use it...well, shit.
 
When I think of contingency plans, all I could think of is:
jeff_goldblum_2.jpeg

Jurassic%2BPark%2B20.jpg


This thread is relevant to my life. There have been numerous times in my life where I've had fecal urgency but was without access to a bathroom. Sometimes, I'd be in the middle of an exam during class and simply couldn't go. And anyone looked at me they would think I was straining from the difficulty of the problem. But no, I'd be doing my best to hold it in.

It's not healthy to hold it. Whenever one gets the urge, they should say, "Screw it, we all shit guys and my time has come. Don't judge me." And then get up from wherever you are and take that dump!
 
I already held a shit in for 9 hours on an overnight bus ride while visiting Ukraine. The only toilet we saw on a stop was one of those god awful squat toilets that get rave reviews here on Gaf, but I chose to pass, because I could. If this particular shit was an emergency, I would have probably used the squat master 3000, but I kept it in like a man for the rest of the trip.

My real contingency plan was in the form of a plastic shpping bag. If I had no choice, I would have shat in the bag, and thrown it out the window.
 
Hi Gaf,

What are some the methods that you employ to make sure that you make it to a restroom on time while you're out and about?

Consider the scenarios:

You're hiking on a popular trail and you get the urge.

You're stuck on a crowded subway / train.

You're stuck in traffic.

You're walking alone in the city at night and most of the stores are closed.
Hiking: Take a shit, that's normal
Crowded subway train: Take a shit and walk to another spot
Traffic: If car is stopped, step out, take a shit, get back in car.
Alone in Night city: Take a shit in a gutter, in the dark, alone

Hell, I'm not gonna poop INSIDE my pants. Am I supposed to bathe in shit while I wait to find new clothes? No way. Then you're walkin around "Does he know? Do they know?". But if you just shit in front of everyone it's more like: "That guy knows. They know. Aw yeah." And you don't have feces in your trousers and you feel great for finally having shat.
 
Ha ha, what is up with all the threads about shit - control lately? Clamp it down!

its not like everybody has the golden butthole....

anyways, for traffic...I get off the next stop and find some fast food restaurant to layeth the shit in.

Hiking...easy...always carry bathroom tissue...and baby wipes then go to an unpopular route with shitload of bushes.

Subway: same as getting stuck in traffic.

Walking solo at night: same for subway and traffic however always know what restaurants or super markets like Ralphs are open late or til midnite before going anywhere.

I always take these precautions beforehand also know what food not to eat or avoid if I dont wanna shit my pants along the way.
 
Hiking: Take a shit, that's normal
Crowded subway train: Take a shit and walk to another spotTraffic: If car is stopped, step out, take a shit, get back in car.
Alone in Night city: Take a shit in a gutter, in the dark, alone

Hell, I'm not gonna poop INSIDE my pants. Am I supposed to bathe in shit while I wait to find new clothes? No way. Then you're walkin around "Does he know? Do they know?". But if you just shit in front of everyone it's more like: "That guy knows. They know. Aw yeah." And you don't have feces in your trousers and you feel great for finally having shat.

Hardest scenario.
 
Hardest scenario.
The hardest part of the subway shit is that if you get off at the next stop, there's no guarantee there'll be a restroom anywhere, and frantically jogging only makes it worse!

I've had a close call or two, but was always able to make it home before the lava flowed. This'll probably get much worse as the years and sriracha start taking their toll on my digestive system.
 
Hi Gaf,

What are some the methods that you employ to make sure that you make it to a restroom on time while you're out and about?

Consider the scenarios:

You're hiking on a popular trail and you get the urge.

You're stuck on a crowded subway / train.

You're stuck in traffic.

You're walking alone in the city at night and most of the stores are closed.

What contingency plans could you possibly have in the bolded situations, short of wearing diapers?
 
I used to have very irritable bowels when I was younger, so because of that I have become a master of noticing and making mental notes of public washrooms. If I've been there before, you can bet I've got a list of public washrooms available in that area.
 
i am really good at suppressing piss and shit

i go to sleep every nite full of it just so i can wake up like a man and explode
 
Doesnt the urge pass?
Everytime I get explosive diarahea I just hold it in and it goes away after 1-10 minutes.
 
I'm aware of the bathroom situation everywhere I go...

I'll even pay money to use a bathroom sometimes if it's the only option around.
 
Hi Gaf,

What are some the methods that you employ to make sure that you make it to a restroom on time while you're out and about?

Consider the scenarios:

You're hiking on a popular trail and you get the urge.

You're stuck on a crowded subway / train.

You're stuck in traffic.

You're walking alone in the city at night and most of the stores are closed.

Tree

Hold it.

Hold it.

Alley.
 
While I was in Iraq I would have to stand post up to 8 or so hours (sometimes 12, sometimes 14 whatever) without the ability to leave and take a piss.

When leaving the security post it was always a nice little game to run and get rid of all the multiple piss and shit bottles you filled up, since doing so was strictly prohibited and punishable by NJP. Gatorade bottles, water bottles, empty ammo pouches, ammo cans, whatever.

I had a hip-side pouch equipped to my body armor that usually contained candy to give to kids, a few maps, a compass, a grenade or two, a few packs of cigarettes, several lighters, a can of Skoal or Copehnhagen, note-taking gear, and an empty bottle for bodily waste.
 
While I was in Iraq I would have to stand post up to 8 or so hours (sometimes 12, sometimes 14 whatever) without the ability to leave and take a piss.

When leaving the security post it was always a nice little game to run and get rid of all the multiple piss bottles you filled up, since doing so was strictly prohibited and punishable by NJP.

so do they just expect you to not ever have to piss for like half a day?
 
Keep an extra pair of undergarments with you at all times in case of emergency. If you don't have an extra pair just go commando and rush home.

Nothing greater than pushing a tough one out while you're waiting for your train stop knowing you have a clean pair of boxers in your bag.
 
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