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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
- Thread starter Delio
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Pet Peeve no. 23
When someone doesn't text all day.
The worst is when you had tentatively made plans to meet up that day and you're not sure if you should just wait for them to respond or make new plans.
lordfroakie
Member
Bel Marduk
Banned
The whole day? Is this your SO?
When am I allowed to get attached to this guy, emotionally? All I hear from friends is always "don't get attached early," "don't get blinded", etc. It's been a very memorable month and change though, for us both, and the guy already makes me skip a beat when we're hangin...
Happy belated Pupi!
And yeah, agreed with Alcoori on timely text replies. Big turn on.
Happy belated Pupi!
And yeah, agreed with Alcoori on timely text replies. Big turn on.
For me, a big turn-on is a luddite guy who hates cell phones and texting. Too many folks live through a lens or through a touchscreen these days. If I could go back in time and somehow freeze mobile phone technology at that point where it was the size of a suitcase, priced mainly for crazy-rich folks, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Guilty as charged.
<3
First time posting in this thread because well I have a dilemma. I've always had gay friends and being a straight man sometimes things can be a little weird. Lately I've been hanging around with a group of lesbians I have known since my college days. Anyways a new girl rolls around and starts hanging out with us and we really hit it off - there was a LOT of flirting and everyone in the group began to notice. Yesterday there was a charity bachelorette auction for the HRC and she was in it. I decided to place my bid and eventually won - immediately feeling awkward afterwards. I don't regret donating to a charity I believe in at all. I just feel like I was a little out of line when spending a good amount of money on a friend when I doubt there's any chance of something happening.
MyAbsolution
Member
Henchmen21
Banned
Hey, I'm right there with you on that.
Reanimator
Member
It's amazing how much you love that guy
Here's a question: does he really do anything for gay ppl or it's just plain populism and politics? Don't take that as an attack, I'm just curious since where I live it's unimaginable to love any politician. we see them as pathological liars
He has done more for gays than anyone who has taken the office of president.It's amazing how much you love that guy
Here's a question: does he really do anything for gay ppl or it's just plain populism and politics? Don't take that as an attack, I'm just curious since where I live it's unimaginable to love any politician. we see them as pathological liars
kitchenmotors
Banned
Honestly, you could just say the same thing for the internet. Smart phones are just an extension of that. The internet really changed the way people communicate and socialize. I think it's odd to single out cellphones, then go on GAF for hours during the day, at home and at work. I see no difference in the way people consume this information, one is just more mobile and the other is not. Both can be annoying depending on the situation though. People just need to learn how to break the cord from time to time. I could take my own advice.
I do dislike how the internet has made it easy for people to act out because of anonymity. There is a lot this on GAF, from guys that would never act like this in person.
That's some stiff competition.
He did repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell act/law/whatever. From my understanding, however, there's not a whole lot he can do since aren't marriage laws determined by the States? I guess there could be a constitutional amendment to make discrimination based on sexuality not allowed. Or not, I don't know how things work over there.
Thats the case here. While that was a nice thing for him to say, its up for states to legalize gay marriage, he has said as much that he won't intervene.
That's a huge deal for Gay and Lesbian soldiers.
Sucks that it is up the individual states to legalize gay marriage. Hopefully when the issue gets to the supreme court it becomes law in all states.
I have my many dislikes of the Internet, but I single-out cell phones and mobile devices specifically because the misbehaviour that portability allows - it's too great. If these devices were just at home, I'd be fine.. but they are now absolutely everywhere in public life. On the sidewalk, in traffic, in offices, at concerts.. I'm tired of seeing most people around me hypnotized by their personal glowscreens, often to the detriment and/or danger of others (and the irony of my typing this on a computer does not escape me), sacrificing common courtesy, etc etc.
Ultimately, if I had a choice between:
(a) a world with no Internet, no cell phones, etc etc; and,
(b) the world as we have it today..
.. I'd have to give it a long, hard consideration. I truly loathe the rampant misbehaviour enabled by these devices.
Art.Menegatti
Member
so, in order to show gaygaf the handsomeness of my countrymen, I image-googled "Handsome Mexican" and these are some of the first pics that came out of that search, what do you guys think?:
Damn, verastegui (this last pic) is damn sexy, but most look very spanish if you ask me, I didn't find a mixed guy that I liked (and I have liked a couple in real life)
I am also Mexican. I was born near Xicoténcatl (Xico) which is where he was born Eduardo Verastegui. I had in touch with the Verastegui family, he also has brothers just as attractive.
I suppose Im diffrent as I lived through a world without smartphones and the like and I rather not go back to that. Sure people should cut down on the time they spend on such devices but the ease they have given to life in general cannot be ignored.
I LIKE being able to text and friend quickly and ask what's up and where to meet. I like being able to look up a word or whatever super fast while out and about.
I LIKE being able to text and friend quickly and ask what's up and where to meet. I like being able to look up a word or whatever super fast while out and about.
I'm just curious since where I live it's unimaginable to love any politician. we see them as pathological liars
I think that's a common view on politicians all around the world; even if you vote for a politician it's rarely because you like her/him, it's usually because s/he's the least evil out of the bunch
It always fascinated me that Obama manged to achieve this sincerely likable neighbor personality that doesn't look like something artificially created by a PR department.PowderedToast
Junior Member
same, i think it's a pretty serious problem - or at least it will be for the upcoming generation. kids need to learn how to socialise without staring at screens
I'll text you if you want me to.
I was at the inauguration today waving my little flag. I am not even a citizen but when he mentioned gays and lesbians the crowd literally screamed. Or maybe that was just me and I couldn't hear the rest, ha.
The pastor he chose for the prayer also mentioned gays and lesbians, which was a pretty welcome change compared with 4 years ago.
Beyonce was pretty amazing too.
He did more than just DADT. For example hospital visitation right, extension of benefits to government same sex couples, he asked the DOJ to stop defending DOMA in court, or even being the first president in office to voice support for same sex marriage.
I know it's more symbolic than anything but it's a pretty damn good endorsement.
As for what he can do, he can work towards granting federal recognition of same sex marriages from states where it's legal (which means repealing DOMA that federally defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman). This would bring immigration rights as well as the possibility of filling federal tax jointly among other things which is not nothing.
MyAbsolution
Member
I am envious of him being your president.
If he were a Canadian Prime Minister I think he could really do amazing things all over the place.
Unfortunately hes just one good man amongst a sea of idiots in power in the united states, so progress is slow.
His good will and efforts (as said by others!) are very appreciated for LGBT folks down south
If he were a Canadian Prime Minister I think he could really do amazing things all over the place.
Unfortunately hes just one good man amongst a sea of idiots in power in the united states, so progress is slow.
His good will and efforts (as said by others!) are very appreciated for LGBT folks down south
krypt0nian
Banned
OK so I've kinda sorta fallen for a friend, and vice versa lately.
We're both partnered and haven't done much physically, and aim to keep it that way due to our life situations, but I have to say that emotional affairs can sneak up like a motherfucker, and haunt your dreams.
The thing is, we are both happy at home. I've realized that not only is a person capable of loving more than one person, but it doesn't have to have anything to do with your primary relationship.
This isn't going anywhere, and we've set hard and fast boundaries, but it's been work. I just know that there's now two people in the world that make me feel incredible just by thinking about them. New guy thrills and challenges me in different ways, and I think not getting what we want sexually from each other is epically stimulating.
Life is so fucking strange and amazing.
We're both partnered and haven't done much physically, and aim to keep it that way due to our life situations, but I have to say that emotional affairs can sneak up like a motherfucker, and haunt your dreams.
The thing is, we are both happy at home. I've realized that not only is a person capable of loving more than one person, but it doesn't have to have anything to do with your primary relationship.
This isn't going anywhere, and we've set hard and fast boundaries, but it's been work. I just know that there's now two people in the world that make me feel incredible just by thinking about them. New guy thrills and challenges me in different ways, and I think not getting what we want sexually from each other is epically stimulating.
Life is so fucking strange and amazing.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Have you two had sex in the past?
krypt0nian
Banned
Nope. We can't. We've made out, and light played a bit at the movies in the back row (lol), but like I said, hard and fast boundaries because of who and where we are in life.
For me, nothing we've done physically is serious or constitutes cheating. That part is silly fun. The emotional ties are the more important lesson I'm learning.
Like I posted before I've started a line of conversation with my partner around perhaps an open relationship on my end, but I know that's not going to be a possibility with my friend. His partner is not going to be up for it at all.
So we keep things on this odd level, and just enjoy our company. I've promised him that I'd never pressure him, and we're relentlessly honest with each other. Almost uncomfortably so, but that's an appeal of this too. We have nothing to hide, or lose with each other, so any thought or desire or hope or fear is never too much.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Ah, I see. Sounds like a good set up to me.
krypt0nian
Banned
So far so good. Mostly.
There are twinges on my side at least where I know it could accelerate, but so far it's nothing that painful. We've both admitted that if circumstances were different, we'd be engaged. We have insane amounts of things in common; life experiences, backgrounds, like/dislikes.
It's like we were separated at birth at times.
In all seriousness, isn't it sort of a bummer to continue on like this? You said you haven't done anything that constitutes cheating in the physical sense, but I imagine it must be kind of confusing or potentially stressful to harbour feelings as defined as "hey we'd be married if it wasn't for our situations."
This is all my own hypothesizing based on how I'd feel in that situation (which I suppose is why I don't think I could be in that situation), I just find the scenario interesting in its broader implications.
Phonomezer
Banned
Does your partner share the same perspective?
VICTORsaurio
Member
That situation sort of reminds me of my (previous) situation. I wish I could have dealt with it in a better way but I just "followed my heart" and everything went to hell. I too was told "if I wasn't with him, we'd be so happy together forever" or something along those lines.
It still hurts
I really wish you the best but I don't think that's gonna end up well for any of you.
It still hurts
I really wish you the best but I don't think that's gonna end up well for any of you.
SpaceBridge
Member
I wonder what's worse, physical cheating or emotional cheating?
krypt0nian
Banned
So far it's not really complicated. We both talk it through and express a lot. It really feels separate and extra. My good friend says "Love multiplies, never divides" and I am starting to believe that. I used to think you could only love one person at a time, but I'm changing my thoughts on it.
That's why I'm talking to him about open relationships. He's pretty centered himself, and has in the past offered to let me explore my feelings. We have three rules, and one of them is to talk to the other about any potential straying so it's in the open. While he'd have words with me, I honestly think he'd understand. He's always been more grown up about these things than I.
We both do feel that anything further on a physical level would constitute a betrayal.
That situation sort of reminds me of my (previous) situation. I wish I could have dealt with it in a better way but I just "followed my heart" and everything went to hell. I too was told "if I wasn't with him, we'd be so happy together forever" or something along those lines.
It still hurts
I really wish you the best but I don't think that's gonna end up well for any of you.
To be honest, the whole "if things were different" was a side thing, and doesn't play a part in our daily thing. I just thought it funny that we came to the thought on the same day, and talked it out.
It's been easily over one year since I last dated anyone, I think I want to start dating again. These are the obstacles I have to overcome right now:
- Getting over the feeling that the time/effort-to-reward in dating is awful
- Being less picky with guys because otherwise I'm truly never going to date anyone again
- Knowing I'll most likely have awkward/unpleasant dates
- Getting more comfortable with my looks and personality dating-wise
- Actually trying, and not getting unmotivated almost immediately
I might have to update my profile too, lol. I don't feel like giving a lot of information, but I want to keep it short and appealing.
- Getting over the feeling that the time/effort-to-reward in dating is awful
- Being less picky with guys because otherwise I'm truly never going to date anyone again
- Knowing I'll most likely have awkward/unpleasant dates
- Getting more comfortable with my looks and personality dating-wise
- Actually trying, and not getting unmotivated almost immediately
I might have to update my profile too, lol. I don't feel like giving a lot of information, but I want to keep it short and appealing.
krypt0nian
Banned
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
I think doing that behind your partner's back (emotionally more so than anything physical) is morally reprehensible. You owe it to him and the years of intimacy you've shared to let him know where your head is at. You seem like a decent guy.
User 73706
Banned
krypt0nian
Banned
I don't agree. This is no more than having an amazing friend that you share everything with. I'm in the process of sharing this, but even if I didn't, it's not against anything we've previously agreed upon in our relationship. Every couple decides that on their own terms, and it's worked for us for years.
I appreciate that it's not for everyone, but judging really doesn't get anyone anywhere. Society doesn't decide how we conduct our partnership. This emotional tie is in addition, not in place of. If we had issues, id be more apt to agree with you.
If anything, this is an opportunity to learn and grow. I couldn't have handled this a few years ago.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
I mean, I'm not making a judgment call on you as a person. I just know that if I was in your partner's shoes, the longer it went on without me knowing would only make things worst. Maybe he's completely loyal to you and has knocked back situations like this in the past? You and your friend making each other happy is one thing, but not revealing it to your partner and potentially denying him a similar happiness is cruel and could lead to some serious resentment.
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