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Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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I also bounce beetween rather bad depression and being almost "normal" (hell, i don't remember what normal is. All i know that i'm actually interested in stuff again).

Seems to be following about weekly or bi-weekly... uh, cycle. Week bad, week good. Or sometimes it is first good half of week, bad second half. Or perhaps the latter one used to be. I don't remember.
Depression has broken my memory seemingly. Or perhaps it is lack of proper routine. Either way, i don't remember well.

Hah, yes, that sounds very familiar. "Normal" is just a far away memory for me at this point. Sometimes, I think about my time in high school etc because I was "normal" back then. It's weird and sad at the same time because I used to hate going to school. I was so looking forward to getting a job, earning money and not having to do homework anymore D:

Thinking about it now, it was probably the greatest time of my life. I did so many things... I never second guessed anything, I just did it. I'm still in my twenties though, so maybe I'll have a point in my life where I look back at all of this and think "Wow, I had such a rough time back then". Heck, maybe they'll even discover an actual cure in the next years... you never know.
 
I also bounce beetween rather bad depression and being almost "normal" (hell, i don't remember what normal is. All i know that i'm actually interested in stuff again).

Seems to be following about weekly or bi-weekly... uh, cycle. Week bad, week good. Or sometimes it is first good half of week, bad second half. Or perhaps the latter one used to be. I don't remember.
Depression has broken my memory seemingly. Or perhaps it is lack of proper routine. Either way, i don't remember well.



Tell me 'bout it.
Wait, i mean, i know what you mean.
Wait, i don't mean you shouldn't talk to me/us.


And why do i feel so damn active. Not manic, no i don't think so (just compared to normal depressed state). Perhaps i drank too much Coke, energy+cofein.
The fuck.
 
Wouldn't recommend alcohol. Or drugs probably.

Man, Scooby Doo would be a neat psychiatrist. Wouldn't have a fucking clue what he was saying, would just sit there laughing.

Is a bad acidy taste in the mouth, like battery style, the sign of an ulcer or something? Cos geez, gross, tastes like the end of the world. Going to a doc tomorrow.

Well.. therapy hasn't solved neojubei's problems. Medications haven't. Complaining about them on GAF hasn't. Time to try something different.
 
Anyone have any experiences of dealing with people who suffer from Bipolar disorder?

What did you experience and how did you manage it?

Meds, but depends on severity. My wife's dad was in a facility for a couple days, they prematurely released him, and he was dead a few days later due to OD. He had nobody to watch him to make sure he was taking the right meds and when.

That is kind of personal for GAF, but hopefully it helps somebody out if you have a family member with crippling mental illness. Watch those meds.
 
The fuck.

Said what i meant.
And made a bad joke of it.
I know how it feels to be down, and not having anyone to talk to. "Tell me about it".
Of course, that can be taken in two ways, either it is "i understand" or "talk to me".
So, better to note that my first "correction" (weren't edits actually) didn't mean one shouldn't talk to us, if they need someone to talk to, that i mean "tell me about it" in its both meanings.

Language is funny, double meanings, and correcting oneself may end up looking like you didn't mean both, or something like that.
And jokes, bad or not, don't work if they have to be explained.
Or perhaps, if they have to be explained, they were really bad in the first place.

Also, i'm figuring i'm in sort off crazy mood.
If it weren't night, i'd go for a walk.
 
woorloog go to sleep.
neojubei why dont you try surgery? since you have nothing to lose. go for it.
the name is Transcranial magnetic stimulation. Get money and do it. if you die what matters? since your life is shit. but if you live you will be better i guess.
 
man go to sleep.

I should. But that would bring the next day closer (day literally, i'll end up sleeping till early afternoon when i go to sleep... soon...).
And that's another day when nothings going to happen, and i may be on very bad mood, or just very depressed, or both.
I really don't want that.
So, i stay awake till late (besides, i have this book that's hooked me). Err, early.
Repeat every fucking day.
 
I should. But that would bring the next day closer (day literally, i'll end up sleeping till early afternoon when i go to sleep... soon...).
And that's another day when nothings going to happen, and i may be on very bad mood, or just very depressed, or both.
I really don't want that.

So, i stay awake till late (besides, i have this book that's hooked me). Err, early.
Repeat every fucking day.

Are you me?

I stay up till like... 2-4am these days. I usually read a book the last hour before I finally go to sleep. Currently going through ASOIAF.
 
I should. But that would bring the next day closer (day literally, i'll end up sleeping till early afternoon when i go to sleep... soon...).
And that's another day when nothings going to happen, and i may be on very bad mood, or just very depressed, or both.
I really don't want that.
So, i stay awake till late (besides, i have this book that's hooked me). Err, early.
Repeat every fucking day.

What book?
 
woorloog go to sleep.
neojubei why dont you try surgery? since you have nothing to lose. go for it.
the name is Transcranial magnetic stimulation. Get money and do it. if you die what matters? since your life is shit. but if you live you will be better i guess.
Maybe I should die now what's the difference. I guess everyone here hates me. My therapist hates me. I have no friends to talk with. I just can't take this anymore
 
I was diagnosed with some thing(s) after some stints in a hospital after admitting myself and I was doing kinda okay but today was bad and I wouldn't mind if the world ended.
 
As someone who has OCD/mild depression+anxiety, do meds actually work?

I feel like I'm stuck in the middle between feeling "good/normal" and feeling "depressed as fuck". So, in a way, I don't feel depressed enough to need them but at the same time I don't feel good either, so maybe they might help.

I'm just wondering if they actually help. Do you feel a lot better? Do you have less bad thoughts?

Another question btw: I seem to have periods where I feel pretty depressed and everything goes wrong, like I'm thinking about every action etc. The amount of days usually varies, but when it hits me, I feel like I'm gonna be like that my entire life and that the thoughts won't disappear. Then I get better after a week or so (still depressed/ocd etc, but not as bad anymore) and I can't even remember why that past week was so bad. It's really weird.

The meds I've been given for my OCD work like magic. I never expected them to work this well.
 
Dont hate you. Dont know you. Sincerely doubt would hate you if met u, and others probably feel the same. And have probably said so three million times. Why am I writing this.
I'm sorry. I just wish I had a best friend or someone I really can talk with. I was really close to stabbing myself a min ago. I hate feeling this low. I'm just going type about my day or least part of it just so I can have it off my chest.

I go to this gay therapy group on Monday nights and I am thinking of quiting it. It's probably the only place I have to feel like myself yet when I am there I feel less than everyone else. It seems everyone is in the advance part of their gay life and here I am step one yet they are are half my age or older. Like today I really had nothing to off since the conversation was about dating relationships and the power struggle with that like tops wanting to be dominant sort of thing. And look at me. I have been with a guy in a long time and dating? Yeah right. Quiet me just sitting there feeling so stupid. I decided today will be my last day but I didn't tell the group. They seem to carry on with or without me. I don't know why I am even gay. It seems like some exclusive club or group that I can never get into.
 
The meds I've been given for my OCD work like magic. I never expected them to work this well.

Would you mind sharing the name of the meds? My OCD/anxiety/depression is off the charts and I'm sort of kind of thinking about meds now. I'd really appreciate it.
 
Would you mind sharing the name of the meds? My OCD/anxiety/depression is off the charts and I'm sort of kind of thinking about meds now. I'd really appreciate it.
bro for me sertraline was god send for OCD but gave me depression (one anti-depressant giving depression... I'm that weird)
I'm changing to Luvox but bro they are all the same. Only things different are some causes less sexual side effects.
 
I take Paxil for my OCD.

bro for me sertraline was god send for OCD but gave me depression (one anti-depressant giving depression... I'm that weird)
I'm changing to Luvox but bro they are all the same. Only things different are some causes less sexual side effects.

Okay, thank you both.

I used to take Prozac from the age of 14 until I was 18. Then I stopped taking it all together and I think dropping it without gradually lowering the dosage is also what messed me up even more. I stopped taking it in 2010 and ever since then I feel like I've gone crazy. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm going to get better on my own, but it really is impossible. I don't even know what it feels like to have normal thoughts or to be normal anymore.

It is incredibly scary to not be able to trust your own mind.
 
Okay, thank you both.

I used to take Prozac from the age of 14 until I was 18. Then I stopped taking it all together and I think dropping it without gradually lowering the dosage is also what messed me up even more. I stopped taking it in 2010 and ever since then I feel like I've gone crazy. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm going to get better on my own, but it really is impossible. I don't even know what it feels like to have normal thoughts or to be normal anymore.

It is incredibly scary to not be able to trust your own mind.
Yeah I know that feel. I think its worse that depression or anxiety at some times.
But those meds really help you just have to try and find the best for yourself (the one that causes less sexual side effects in my opinion)
 
Yeah I know that feel. I think its worse that depression or anxiety at some times.
But those meds really help you just have to try and find the best for yourself (the one that causes less sexual side effects in my opinion)

Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant I've found that hasn't wreaked havoc with me sexually. The downside is that it didn't do much for my depression.
 
Yeah I know that feel. I think its worse that depression or anxiety at some times.
But those meds really help you just have to try and find the best for yourself (the one that causes less sexual side effects in my opinion)

Prozac helped me when I took it. The reasons I stopped taking it were because I was embarrassed of the fact that something is wrong with me mentally. I guess the way i tried to rationalize it was by me letting go of the pills all together. I also thought I didn't need them anymore because I was going to college and I would somehow change then. Lol obviously that didn't work out.
 
Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant I've found that hasn't wreaked havoc with me sexually. The downside is that it didn't do much for my depression.
Good for stopping tabbaco but for depression it sucks.

Prozac helped me when I took it. The reasons I stopped taking it were because I was embarrassed of the fact that something is wrong with me mentally. I guess the way i tried to rationalize it was by me letting go of the pills all together. I also thought I didn't need them anymore because I was going to college and I would somehow change then. Lol obviously that didn't work out.
Yeah but we got to accept that meds are for life. It took me a while to realize that.
 
Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant I've found that hasn't wreaked havoc with me sexually. The downside is that it didn't do much for my depression.

SSRIs destroyed my libido. I have't taken on in about 3ish years, but I still haven't quite recovered from it.

It's been a bad week. I felt the overwhelming need to cry a few days ago (I haven't cried in years). I've been thinking of dying a lot lately too. I've lost all of my motivation, and have had a constant headache.
 
Had a bit of a breakdown after being completely useless yesterday (and, frankly, the couple of days before that). Wrote a long post complaining (again), but I deleted it. There's no point really. Nothing to it but to try again. Today's the day things are going to change, I'll just start doing everything I need to do and not give myself any time to start thinking/doubting again.

Sending my positive vibes out to everyone on Gaf. If I can force myself to beat my fucked up brain, you (yes, you!) can too. Let's overcome this bitch, we've been in the dark long enough!

Hell yeah. I really like this positive attitude. I have been feeling this way myself. It's time to get things done. Anything I have set my mind to I have achieved. Good luck Boem hope things start getting better for you. Never doubt yourself.
 
Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant I've found that hasn't wreaked havoc with me sexually. The downside is that it didn't do much for my depression.

Cipralex absolutely fucked my libido up for the first two weeks, but then it returned. Cymbalta and Pristiq had no effect, and right now Wellbutrin XL hasn't had one, either. Doesn't really matter, though; I'm not gonna have sex/lose my virginity for a long time. Not sure if Wellbutrin XL is helping the depression, but my anxiety has returned and went from mild to extreme again (how I was in July 2011). The other three medications did fuck all to help my depression.
 
Hell yeah. I really like this positive attitude. I have been feeling this way myself. It's time to get things done. Anything I have set my mind to I have achieved. Good luck Boem hope things start getting better for you. Never doubt yourself.
Nice to see you back on the road. I wish I could feel that way too. Strangely I'm not feeling bad at all right now (just discovered that Metal Gear Solid 2 is actually a pretty good game! At least the first part, I barely started the second), but I'm sure that tomorrow morning I will.

And I had one of those "buying stuff I don't need" episodes earlier today, where I spent a good chunk of my salary on music CDs. Well, at least it was good music xD

Cipralex absolutely fucked my libido up for the first two weeks, but then it returned. Cymbalta and Pristiq had no effect, and right now Wellbutrin XL hasn't had one, either. Doesn't really matter, though; I'm not gonna have sex/lose my virginity for a long time. Not sure if Wellbutrin XL is helping the depression, but my anxiety has returned and went from mild to extreme again (how I was in July 2011). The other three medications did fuck all to help my depression.
You know, to be quite honest I could do with a drug like that, that completely annihilates the sexual desire. It's not like I'm going to be with any girl in the next couple of decades, hahaha.
 
I smoked weed 1 week ago, feel a ton less depressed. Did more working out and sports this week than many months prior.

I was going to smoke everyday and go down that hole, but my dad found my weed(well technically my cleaning lady who showed it to my dad)

Just that one night seemed to have helped my whole brain chemistry in the end.
 
Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant I've found that hasn't wreaked havoc with me sexually. The downside is that it didn't do much for my depression.
Yeah, this is my one issue with what I'm taking now (Lexapro) and while I guess I can deal with it, it's still a pretty big issue. And I'm scared of switching to another anti-depressant and finding it either has the same effect or doesn't help with the actual depression stuff. :/
 
Is it normal to start to go batshit insane after not taking cipralex for a couple of days?

I've been extremely irritable lately and had... Intense thoughts of harming myself. As in, I would really like to grab a knife and cut myself.

Fuck. I'm a fucking goddamn idiot. One day maybe I should tell someone my entire 'life story', wonder if it would help at all. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
 
Yeah, this is my one issue with what I'm taking now (Lexapro) and while I guess I can deal with it, it's still a pretty big issue. And I'm scared of switching to another anti-depressant and finding it either has the same effect or doesn't help with the actual depression stuff. :/

I've heard that some doctors often prescribe Wellbutrin in addition to a main antidepressant to control the sexual side effects. It's worth talking about with your doctor, at least.

It made me feel like less of a man and even though I wasn't getting any sex, it was really hurting my self-esteem and just making the depression worse.
 
Anyone in SF know of someone to recommend for maybe anxiety or depression? I don't know if there's actually something wrong with me but I feel maybe there is and I don't even know where to start.
 
glad so many people cared about my anxiety attack

at one point i was holding abottle of pills and considering downing the whole thing

two more full ones in my car if that didnt work

kinda proves my point about how completely and utterly fucking useless this thread is
 
glad so many people cared about my anxiety attack

at one point i was holding abottle of pills and considering downing the whole thing

two more full ones in my car if that didnt work

kinda proves my point about how completely and utterly fucking useless this thread is

Hermii responded, telling you to call Nintendo customer service about it, which was the best advice imaginable.

Also, not everyone here has experience with anxiety attacks, so not all of us that are online at that exact time can help. And those that can might not read it until HOURS later, at which time they'll think "oh, now it's too late anyway, the anxiety attack must be over by now"
 
i called and they said it woulf cost $100 to fix

i don't have fucking $100

guess i'll just starve for a mont

i'm just a stupid fucing idiot for getting so pissed off at a fighting game that i threw it across the room

i'm fucking useless and psychotic and everything would be better witbout me
 
I've heard that some doctors often prescribe Wellbutrin in addition to a main antidepressant to control the sexual side effects. It's worth talking about with your doctor, at least.

It made me feel like less of a man and even though I wasn't getting any sex, it was really hurting my self-esteem and just making the depression worse.
I've talked to my psychiatrist about the issue before, but yeah, I'll bring it up again and see if there's anything else I can do. I'm constantly worried about whether or not I initiate sexual stuff with my boyfriend because if left to my own devices I won't really think about it as much - or just be too bleh to act on it. Which is definitely not how I was before so. :/

Anyone in SF know of someone to recommend for maybe anxiety or depression? I don't know if there's actually something wrong with me but I feel maybe there is and I don't even know where to start.
I'm not in SF but some general advice:

1. If you have insurance, call 'em and see if they cover mental health. If they do, they'll probably have a website where there's a database of therapists that take that insurance in your area.

2. Talk to your GP about it and ask if they can refer you to a therapist.

3. A quick google search led me to the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis. I have no experience with them so I can't really endorse them or anything, but they have a directory of psychologists and psychiatrists (link) you might want to try calling.

4. If you're in college, there should be a counseling center on campus. They typically don't see you long term, but they can refer you to other resources. Take advantage of help on campus as it's often covered by your tuition.
 
i called and they said it woulf cost $100 to fix

i don't have fucking $100

guess i'll just starve for a mont

i'm just a stupid fucing idiot for getting so pissed off at a fighting game that i threw it across the room

i'm fucking useless and psychotic and everything would be better witbout me

For real? How much is a new one? I thought they'd be like 50 bucks even new...
 
Anyone in SF know of someone to recommend for maybe anxiety or depression? I don't know if there's actually something wrong with me but I feel maybe there is and I don't even know where to start.

http://www.sfdph.org/dph/comupg/oservices/mentalHlth/CBHS/default.asp

Try there, though it might not be too useful.

Man, I wish mental health was taken seriously or had a better and easier access. You really have to be dedicated to finding treatment, some of these sites are good but it takes some digging to actually get anywhere.

Since I am unemployed I qualify for LA Care, which is the medicaid service in Los Angeles which I am insanely thankful for.
 
I really really hope you feel better. You have done AMAZINGLY WELL to put up a fight this long by the sounds of it. And if it helps to come and express things, if it helps at all to prevent you doing something, i wouldnt see the reason not to, though opinions may vary on that and am a relative noob. I relate to the idea of feeling alone in groups. Whew i think i feel enough to go outside or even play some video games. Maybe not depression quest just yet, cos, yeah.

Also sorry for the random question but is your name a reference to Ninja Scroll?

Thanks for taking the time to read my rant. I just needed to vent that out.

I chose my username from the character Juubei in onimisha 2. Loved that game.

Is it normal to start to go batshit insane after not taking cipralex for a couple of days?

I've been extremely irritable lately and had... Intense thoughts of harming myself. As in, I would really like to grab a knife and cut myself.

Fuck. I'm a fucking goddamn idiot. One day maybe I should tell someone my entire 'life story', wonder if it would help at all. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Tell it to me I'll listen. Sometimes it helps just to rant
 
Is it normal to start to go batshit insane after not taking cipralex for a couple of days?

I've been extremely irritable lately and had... Intense thoughts of harming myself. As in, I would really like to grab a knife and cut myself.

Fuck. I'm a fucking goddamn idiot. One day maybe I should tell someone my entire 'life story', wonder if it would help at all. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Yeah it's normal but don't do that to yourself.. I had the same problem when I came off of Zoloft earlier this year, right down to the constant (and unexplainable) urges to harm myself. Can you refill your prescription? Coming off SSRIs will have negative effects for weeks if not months.

If you think it would help, then you can always talk about it in this thread.. that is, after all, what it's for.
 
i called and they said it woulf cost $100 to fix

i don't have fucking $100

guess i'll just starve for a mont

i'm just a stupid fucing idiot for getting so pissed off at a fighting game that i threw it across the room

i'm fucking useless and psychotic and everything would be better witbout me

Common its just a video game. I agree its idiotic of Nintendo to design a console that requires an overly expensive controller to work, but its not the end of the world. Play one of your other console or try to find something else to do in the meanwhile. I think every gamer has thrown their controller in rage at some point. Its a stupid way to kill a controller but we all done it.
 
College has just made my anxiety problems worse....what are some strategies to deal with chronic anxiety? I already see a therapist but I don't feel like we've gotten anywhere meaningful since I started seeing her last year, just an expensive person to talk to. I have an anxiety med I take before exams and interviews (high-stress situations) and that helps sometimes but I don't want to feel like this my whole life :l
 
Posted this in the LGBT thread so I'll post it here too

I'm thinking of asking this guy out. It's been on my mind for quite sometime. I see him just about every morning on the bus going to the train station. He takes another bus at the station and I take the train into work. Sometimes on the bus I stand next to him and I have an urge to say hi. Unfortunately my gaydar doesn't work on Asian guys so I cannot tell if he is or isn't. Tomorrow I might try my luck I hope I can handle being shot down. He's my type. He has short hair he's about 5'5" lean. He does have tattoos on his arm but that's ok. I'm neither for or against it. I just need to find something to say to him after hi. I suppose my mind will think of something it's pretty good at doing that.
 
Common its just a video game. I agree its idiotic of Nintendo to design a console that requires an overly expensive controller to work, but its not the end of the world. Play one of your other console or try to find something else to do in the meanwhile. I think every gamer has thrown their controller in rage at some point. Its a stupid way to kill a controller but we all done it.
Not every gamer, I never threw a controller due to rage. It's something I've yet to do.

I Falcon Punched an old PC of mine (well, my dad's) once because the stupid CD drive wouldn't open the tray, and I wanted to play some Quake II. It wouldn't open when closed without a CD inside, and I had just removed the one we used as placeholder to insert the Q2 disk, when my sister decided to close it just because. I tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. So I had enough of it, and punched that fucker right in the eject button. It opened, I played Quake II, and my dad got really mad at me.

Posted this in the LGBT thread so I'll post it here too

I'm thinking of asking this guy out. It's been on my mind for quite sometime. I see him just about every morning on the bus going to the train station. He takes another bus at the station and I take the train into work. Sometimes on the bus I stand next to him and I have an urge to say hi. Unfortunately my gaydar doesn't work on Asian guys so I cannot tell if he is or isn't. Tomorrow I might try my luck I hope I can handle being shot down. He's my type. He has short hair he's about 5'5" lean. He does have tattoos on his arm but that's ok. I'm neither for or against it. I just need to find something to say to him after hi. I suppose my mind will think of something it's pretty good at doing that.
That's nice! Do it, you have nothing to lose, and much to gain. Good luck Neo!
 
Not every gamer, I never threw a controller due to rage. It's something I've yet to do.

I Falcon Punched an old PC of mine (well, my dad's) once because the stupid CD drive wouldn't open the tray, and I wanted to play some Quake II. It wouldn't open when closed without a CD inside, and I had just removed the one we used as placeholder to insert the Q2 disk, when my sister decided to close it just because. I tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. So I had enough of it, and punched that fucker right in the eject button. It opened, I played Quake II, and my dad got really mad at me.


That's nice! Do it, you have nothing to lose, and much to gain. Good luck Neo!

I should have said most gamers.
 
Posted this in the LGBT thread so I'll post it here too

I'm thinking of asking this guy out. It's been on my mind for quite sometime. I see him just about every morning on the bus going to the train station. He takes another bus at the station and I take the train into work. Sometimes on the bus I stand next to him and I have an urge to say hi. Unfortunately my gaydar doesn't work on Asian guys so I cannot tell if he is or isn't. Tomorrow I might try my luck I hope I can handle being shot down. He's my type. He has short hair he's about 5'5" lean. He does have tattoos on his arm but that's ok. I'm neither for or against it. I just need to find something to say to him after hi. I suppose my mind will think of something it's pretty good at doing that.

Good luck. If he turns out to be straight or rejects you for some other reason remember you havent lost anything and if you never tried you would probably have had regrets about it,
 
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