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First world cat problems

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/the-best-of-first-world-cat-problems?s=mobile

My wife just showed me this, i can't stop laughing.

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First one is so true.

My cat will stroll in through the cat flap, only to walk out the open door in the other room + repeat.
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

Spray bottle filled with water usually does the trick to teach them not to do something.

EDIT:
Oh and do not declaw them if you want your cat to ever like you again. They use their nails for more things than just scratching stuff.
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

Do not de-claw.
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

Soft Paws
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

Keep your cat indoors?
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

Don't let your indoor cat go outdoors.
 
The belly rub one is funny, but I really dislike how every picture is slowly homogenizing into a two-part bold, stroke text with a repetitive picture template. What's the point of doing it that way other than to make it recognizable?
 
"I am going to cry amd whine and crave attention at three am, and if I don't get it I will knock your grandmothers antique vase onto the floor shattering it to wake you up and.... Why are we going outside?"

I hated that cat. My wife still thinks he snuck out.
 
"I'm going to beg for food at 5 a.m. and then immediately puke it all over your floor"

Fuck my wife's cats.

my ex's had two cats. one loved me, the other attacked me every morning. i tried everything... at one point i thought he might be pissed because i would lock him out of a part of his territory (the bathroom), so one morning when i was alone in her (my ex's) flat i decided to give it a try and leave the door open.

worst idea ever.
 
"I am going to cry amd whine and crave attention at three am, and if I don't get it I will knock your grandmothers antique vase onto the floor shattering it to wake you up and.... Why are we going outside?"

I hated that cat. My wife still thinks he snuck out.
What the fuck?
 
What the fuck?

He had a long history of knocking things over in the middle of the night to get our attention. And considering the amount of effort needed to even reach that vase, he did it purely out of spite for me ignoring him since my wife wasn't home and I refused to wake up. Knocking over picture frames is one thing, knocking over a hundred year old hand made family heirloom? It was time to go.
 
He's technically not going outdoors. He's on a screened in porch. He likes it. I guess I could keep him in but I just feel like a dick. Part of my reasoning for screening it in is so he could go out there and enjoy the outdoors without actually being outdoors.
I get that, but if he's fucking shit up in your outdoor enclosure stop letting him out. I doubt he's suffering from staying inside.
 
Seems appropriate to post this here.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/03/how-your-cat-is-making-you-crazy/308873/

It starts off reading like an attention-grab piece supported by crackpot science, but by the time you're done reading it, it's clear some of the arguments and evidence are compelling...

I wonder if this nasty little parasite is partially behind our obsessions with all things feline...
Think about how beneficial it would be for toxoplasma gondii if infected humans actively helped grow and spread the cat population around the world..
(for the unfamiliar, the parasite can only sexually reproduce inside the intestines of cats, and has been shown to cause behavioral changes in infected rats that significantly increase their chances of being eating by a cat).

the atlantic said:
One might be tempted to dismiss the bulk of Flegr’s work as hokum—the fanciful imaginings of a lone, eccentric scholar—were it not for the pioneering research of Joanne Webster, a parasitologist at Imperial College London. Just as Flegr was embarking on his human trials, Webster, then a freshly minted Ph.D., was launching studies of Toxo-infected rodents, reasoning, just as Flegr did, that as hosts of the parasite, they would be likely targets for behavioral manipulation.

She quickly confirmed, as previous researchers had shown, that infected rats were more active and less cautious in areas where predators lurk. But then, in a simple, elegant experiment, she and her colleagues demonstrated that the parasite did something much more remarkable. They treated one corner of each rat’s enclosure with the animal’s own odor, a second with water, a third with cat urine, and the last corner with the urine of a rabbit, a creature that does not prey on rodents. “We thought the parasite might reduce the rats’ aversion to cat odor,” she told me. “Not only did it do that, but it actually increased their attraction. They spent more time in the cat-treated areas.” She and other scientists repeated the experiment with the urine of dogs and minks, which also prey on rodents. The effect was so specific to cat urine, she says, that “we call it ‘fatal feline attraction.’”

She began tagging the parasite with fluorescent markers and tracking its progress in the rats’ bodies. Given the surgically precise way the microbe alters behavior, Webster anticipated that it would end up in localized regions of the brain. But the results defied expectations. “We were quite surprised to find the cysts—the parasite’s dormant form—all over the brain in what otherwise appeared to be a happy, healthy rat,” she says. Nonetheless, the cysts were most abundant in a part of the brain that deals with pleasure (in human terms, we’re talking sex, drugs, and rock and roll) and in another area that’s involved in fear and anxiety (post-traumatic stress disorder affects this region of the brain). Perhaps, she thought, T. gondii uses a scattershot approach, disseminating cysts far and wide, enabling a few of them to zero in on the right targets.

To gain more clarity on the matter, she sought the aid of the parasitologist Glenn McConkey, whose team at the University of Leeds was probing the protozoan’s genome for signs of what it might be doing. The approach brought to light a striking talent of the parasite: it has two genes that allow it to crank up production of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the host brain. “We never cease to be amazed by the sophistication of these parasites,” Webster says.

Their findings, reported last summer, created immediate buzz. Dopamine is a critical signaling molecule involved in fear, pleasure, and attention. Furthermore, the neurotransmitter is known to be jacked up in people with schizophrenia—another one of those strange observations about the disease, like its tendency to erode gray matter, that have long puzzled medical researchers. Antipsychotic medicine designed to quell schizophrenic delusions apparently blocks the action of dopamine, which had suggested to Webster that what it might really be doing is thwarting the parasite. Scientists had already shown that adding the medicine to a petri dish where T. gondii is happily dividing will stunt the organism’s growth. So Webster decided to feed the antipsychotic drug to newly infected rats to see how they reacted. Lo and behold, they didn’t develop fatal feline attraction. Suddenly, attributing behavioral changes to the microbe seemed much more plausible.
 
He had a long history of knocking things over in the middle of the night to get our attention. And considering the amount of effort needed to even reach that vase, he did it purely out of spite for me ignoring him since my wife wasn't home and I refused to wake up. Knocking over picture frames is one thing, knocking over a hundred year old hand made family heirloom? It was time to go.
So you just threw an indoor cat outside to fend for itself?

You're disgusting.
 
He had a long history of knocking things over in the middle of the night to get our attention. And considering the amount of effort needed to even reach that vase, he did it purely out of spite for me ignoring him since my wife wasn't home and I refused to wake up. Knocking over picture frames is one thing, knocking over a hundred year old hand made family heirloom? It was time to go.

Then take it to a fucking shelter.

Or maybe you should have bothered to train your cat.
 
He had a long history of knocking things over in the middle of the night to get our attention. And considering the amount of effort needed to even reach that vase, he did it purely out of spite for me ignoring him since my wife wasn't home and I refused to wake up. Knocking over picture frames is one thing, knocking over a hundred year old hand made family heirloom? It was time to go.
"He did it purely out of spite..."

You are delusional.
 
I got my pool area screened in and the idea was that it would be a great idea to let my indoor cat enjoy the outdoors. Now he's fucking up my screen with his claws. I was turned off to declawing after hearing how it's basically like chopping a bit of their finger off, but something has to give here. What say you, gaf?

You need Kitton Mittons

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My cat in a nutshell.
 
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