Had a terrible night. Some fucked up dreams on where my life could be going, unable to fall asleep again after waking up, torturing myself with some insane thoughts. Felt relieved when my alarm went off, jumped in the shower, and now I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of coffee, ready to completely hide myself in my work. I'm actually looking forward to it. I won't be thinking about my situation all the time, and hopefully I'll be more positive in the evening after getting all this done.
I'm mostly driven by fear these days, but at least I'm driven again instead of wasting away on the couch/in bed. I'm not exactly in a healthy state of mind, but at least I feel like I'm getting there.
There's no real point to this post. All I can tell you guys is that, as long as you wake up in the morning, there's always hope. You need to be stronger than your depression, and that's an uphill battle. But you have to keep trying. I keep thinking back to something I saw while I was taking the train to meet my parents a while back. The train was packed, I felt tired, uncomfortable, socially awkward (like I mentioned earlier in this thread, due to some heavy self-image issues I really don't like being around people). I was staring out of the window, feeling extremely shit about everything. As we entered the station, someone had spraypainted 'Everything will be alright' (in Dutch) on the wall, and on the building next to that 'If you want it to be'. I don't believe in signs, or destiny, or anything like that, and I don't percieve it like that, but it did touch me. The idea of someone feeling so strongly about their position in 'the system' that they're willing to risk jailtime just to get their message out to thousands of people like me taking the train everyday, staring out of the window, feeling hopeless... It was extremely powerful to me at that point. The person who wrote that obviously didn't feel at ease just fitting into the system, broke out of that, just to share a bit of positivity with people he/she will never know personally. Telling everyone to, like him/her, take their lives into their own hands. I think about that moment a lot. Seeing the recent discussions in this thread, people posting their (amazing!) art, wondering if they should showcase it in the same place where people are screaming for help - please keep on posting. More people read this thread than post here. You might inspire people in the same way I was inspired by that one guy/girl who spray-painted those walls. I know you guys are making me want to start being more creative once I have a bit more free time.
Sorry for being so sentimental. It's one of those days. If you're reading this, and you're struggling just as much as me (or more), please know that everything can change. Everything will. The direction that change takes is mostly up to you. Keep going. Stay positive. 'Everything will be alright, if you want it to be'.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I could sit down with them for a talk, but they're in full-on denial mode. Every time we talk, if I only make the slightest comment on any kind of success I had (e.g. did well on an exam) they ask me: "So things are going pretty good, aren't they?", to which I reply, in my most sarcastic voice: "Yeah, things are fucking excellent."
They just don't get it. They have no idea of the degree to which I am broken, and frankly, I've given up on trying to convince them.
And I really don't want a meaningful relationship with someone who, essentially, doesn't believe me how bad things are.
I'd dare to say they don't understand what's a mental illness. Could there be any way of explaining it to them?
From what you said, it sounds like they truly want you to succeed and do well in life. Perhaps they don't know how to express it properly, but I doubt they mean bad. What if, for example, you replied to that question with a "Things are not bad overall, but there's a few things that have been bothering me. To be honest, I'm not feeling too good." and then you elaborated from there?
My antidepressants have been helping me tremendously in terms of coping. Same with counseling. I feel I'd be in a very dark place right now if it weren't for getting help.
Hi guys,
Didn't know this topic existed.
I am at work so can't discuss much but I've been having anxiety/panic for 7 months with a variety of symptoms : dizziness, increased heart beat rate, nausea (not that frequent), pains (mostly chest and left arm), blurry vision..
At first I thought I had some kind of disease, but, after doing medical exams, it seems its anxiety (still I have some doubts, and I feel Im constantly fearing the doctors didnt missed something (I probably have hypochondria)).
I am not under medication, except when Im having an extreme panic attack, it which case I take one Lysanxia pill.
Also, Im seeing a psychotherapist which is cool, but, I have the feeling that its going to take a long time finding the root of this..
And I need something that at least gives me back confidence in my body quickly as this is seriously having a bad impact on my life..
Anyone experienced this ? Or have tips ?
Thanks !
That's really beautiful, you know? That looks like a dove in the middle of a flight.
I'm not sure know if the colors should be interpreted from bottom to top, which could mean that life is getting bad, things are going wrong, and the pigeon is closing into his own mind. The other explanation is looking from top down, and our little friend is instead flying into the light, looking for a better place, leaving behind all the things that made him suffer.
I like the second one more, and I hope that's what you had in mind while drawing it. Being hopeful for the future, not giving up, always flying high despite being surrounded by darkness. The dove will reach the moonlit grass, and he'll be able to rest happily, glad for having achieved what he never thought he could: making it through the pitch black night. If he can do it, why can't we?
Sadly I can't come up with a title. Or maybe yes: it could be called Mood for a night, which is inspired by the title of the song "Mood for a day" by Yes (I know, I'm stealing/adapting all of my titles from somewhere else, but that's what you have to do when you have zero imagination).
Actually your first interpretation was correct.
Unfortunately I can't draw worth shit and that "dove" was supposed to be a plant. But that said, I still had no art direction with this painting...Really wish I could scrap it now lol...
My interpretation for this piece from the bottom up, we're born filled with life and happiness but once we progress further, it slowly starts to die.
All we're left once we get to the top is a single sign of hope (flower/bird...I still have no idea what I drew there lol...) let it be love, money, career changes, happiness, etc.
Your second interpretation sounds nice though, I wish we can all reach that place of rest some day...
Had a terrible night. Some fucked up dreams on where my life could be going, unable to fall asleep again after waking up, torturing myself with some insane thoughts. Felt relieved when my alarm went off, jumped in the shower, and now I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of coffee, ready to completely hide myself in my work. I'm actually looking forward to it. I won't be thinking about my situation all the time, and hopefully I'll be more positive in the evening after getting all this done.
I'm mostly driven by fear these days, but at least I'm driven again instead of wasting away on the couch/in bed. I'm not exactly in a healthy state of mind, but at least I feel like I'm getting there.
There's no real point to this post. All I can tell you guys is that, as long as you wake up in the morning, there's always hope. You need to be stronger than your depression, and that's an uphill battle. But you have to keep trying. I keep thinking back to something I saw while I was taking the train to meet my parents a while back. The train was packed, I felt tired, uncomfortable, socially awkward (like I mentioned earlier in this thread, due to some heavy self-image issues I really don't like being around people). I was staring out of the window, feeling extremely shit about everything. As we entered the station, someone had spraypainted 'Everything will be alright' (in Dutch) on the wall, and on the building next to that 'If you want it to be'. I don't believe in signs, or destiny, or anything like that, and I don't percieve it like that, but it did touch me. The idea of someone feeling so strongly about their position in 'the system' that they're willing to risk jailtime just to get their message out to thousands of people like me taking the train everyday, staring out of the window, feeling hopeless... It was extremely powerful to me at that point. The person who wrote that obviously didn't feel at ease just fitting into the system, broke out of that, just to share a bit of positivity with people he/she will never know personally. Telling everyone to, like him/her, take their lives into their own hands. I think about that moment a lot. Seeing the recent discussions in this thread, people posting their (amazing!) art, wondering if they should showcase it in the same place where people are screaming for help - please keep on posting. More people read this thread than post here. You might inspire people in the same way I was inspired by that one guy/girl who spray-painted those walls. I know you guys are making me want to start being more creative once I have a bit more free time.
Sorry for being so sentimental. It's one of those days. If you're reading this, and you're struggling just as much as me (or more), please know that everything can change. Everything will. The direction that change takes is mostly up to you. Keep going. Stay positive. 'Everything will be alright, if you want it to be'.
Thanks for being supportive over my art. Makes me feel a bit more comfortable to keep doing this and post here.
I don't know, some day I hope I can find a way to sell these pieces. Maybe art appreciators can understand it...
i don't know if I inspire anyone though in general, but I'm curious what you will do with your creative side, whatever it might be.
Your story was pretty touching. Almost brought a tear to my eye.
I hope it'll be all right...
It really doesn't feel all right right now.
Only the feeling of drowning is present...
I'm not feeling too good right now... Realized I'll always be stuck in this ugly routine, and this is how my life will be right until the day I die.
Wasting time, procrastinating, never doing the things I wanted to, always alone. I can't find motivation to do anything. It's like I'm on autopilot: get up, get a shower, have breakfast, go to work, go to university if I have a class that day, go home, waste time on the PC, sleep, rinse and repeat. I may see a friend or two every now and then, but that's it. Nothing can feel good.
Plus I just tried to access the eShop on my 3DS (that void isn't going to fill itself; I need more games which I'll never play, you know?) and the fucking thing wouldn't connect. I don't know if it's a problem of my connection or the console just broke, but whatever it is, it's just what I needed to end this incredibly awesome day (that's sarcasm if there's even been one). Had to control my impulses of throwing it to the floor and hit it, which I admit was hard to do. But then I wanted to hurt myself, to feel pain and punishment due to being a complete failure. I didn't do it either, and I won't, but I wish I had the balls to... I really need to relieve those feelings and frustration.
Oh well, guess it's just another bad day, not the end of the world. There will be many more to come, haha...
I'm not feeling too good right now... Realized I'll always be stuck in this ugly routine, and this is how my life will be right until the day I die.
Wasting time, procrastinating, never doing the things I wanted to, always alone. I can't find motivation to do anything. It's like I'm on autopilot: get up, get a shower, have breakfast, go to work, go to university if I have a class that day, go home, waste time on the PC, sleep, rinse and repeat. I may see a friend or two every now and then, but that's it. Nothing can feel good.
Oh well, guess it's just another bad day, not the end of the world. There will be many more to come, haha...
i know that feeling.
i sometimes just try messing with my routine by doing something "unpredictable" in order to climb out of the pit of self loathing and feelings of insignificance.
i literally bike away from my feelings. it works for the day.
i know that feeling.
i sometimes just try messing with my routine by doing something "unpredictable" in order to climb out of the pit of self loathing and feelings of insignificance.
i literally bike away from my feelings. it works for the day.
Raging right now. I know everyone will be against me since I'll be the bad guy in this but I just need to vent.l
My friend who recently lost weight texted me that a guy made a pass at him at the gym. He was pretty excited about it since it never happened to him when he was fat. And I know I should be supportive but I could not. Told him I was tired and talk about it tomorrow however I am raging about it now. No one ever made a pass at me and the people who say anything to me at the gym just say excuse or like that one guy who made a remark about me being fat before.
Now I just see myself as that kid who always got rejected who never had anyone ever liked him. Ugh I hate everything now. I bet this year he will be dating soon. Me I'll be the fat idiot who will always be alone
Raging right now. I know everyone will be against me since I'll be the bad guy in this but I just need to vent.l
My friend who recently lost weight texted me that a guy made a pass at him at the gym. He was pretty excited about it since it never happened to him when he was fat. And I know I should be supportive but I could not. Told him I was tired and talk about it tomorrow however I am raging about it now. No one ever made a pass at me and the people who say anything to me at the gym just say excuse or like that one guy who made a remark about me being fat before.
Now I just see myself as that kid who always got rejected who never had anyone ever liked him. Ugh I hate everything now. I bet this year he will be dating soon. Me I'll be the fat idiot who will always be alone
I honestly imagine your friend wasn't trying to brag, but rather was trying to encourage you. Since he was heavy and then lost weight and is seeing 'results' and all. I might seem like bragging, but to me it comes off as more of 'Look, it's working! You can do this too!' type of thing.
And be angry. You are allowed! Just don't let it ruin your relationship with your friend. You already know it's rather irrational to be angry at him over it. Work the anger into something else (writing, kill some video game characters, what have you) and you'll feel better for it.
Always get kicked in the positives by your posts no matter how variable the content is. Just sending that out there. And let's get sentimental, hell with it. Sometimes it is right there in a graffiti on the wall when you're on the train. Fuck yes Boem, and everyone.
Thanks guys, whenever I feel at my worst I just need to type out these crazy positive things. Can't let myself fall down that hole again. Even though it's very rough right now, we've got to keep going. There's really no other option. We'll get past all this some day. Virtual high fives for everyone.
Thanks for being supportive over my art. Makes me feel a bit more comfortable to keep doing this and post here.
I don't know, some day I hope I can find a way to sell these pieces. Maybe art appreciators can understand it...
i don't know if I inspire anyone though in general, but I'm curious what you will do with your creative side, whatever it might be.
Your story was pretty touching. Almost brought a tear to my eye.
I hope it'll be all right...
It really doesn't feel all right right now.
Only the feeling of drowning is present...
Yeah, please keep posting your art . Trying to sell it is a cool goal to work towards. Whenever I get time to start being more creative (and I hope it's soon), I probably won't be drawing/painting. It requires a certain talent that I just don't possess. I used to love writing short stories though - even had dreams of becoming a writer someday. I know that won't happen, but I'd like to get back to it anyway. I used to have a little column in a student newspaper in my earliest university days, before everything went to shit. Having people you normally don't talk to come up to you to say they enjoyed reading it was the best feeling.
Still, don't really have the time to focus on that right now. Soon though! And Oomikami, however bad the feelings get, try to keep going. I now I can sound sickingly optimistic in here at times, but I write those things just as much for me as I do for others. Whenever your thought patterns get too bad, try to do something simple to get your mind of of it. It helps if it's something productive. Blast some music, clean your room. Cook something. Go out for a bikeride. I know that's not always a possibility, but my philosophy these days is that I (just like you and others in here) have spend more than enough time thinking the worst possible things. There's literally nothing to be gained from that. You can't turn those thoughts off just like that. But you can work on overruling the negative with something positive. I hope you'll get there. I know you're capable of it. Your art proves there's something positive in you. Let that part shine.
I actually went for a run today after work. Hoping to make it a daily thing. I'm trying to train for a longer run in the near future. Felt good, though when I chilled out on the couch later that day I fell asleep and woke up at 1 am, not knowing where the heck I was lol. Now I can't fall back to sleep.
I actually went for a run today after work. Hoping to make it a daily thing. I'm trying to train for a longer run in the near future. Felt good, though when I chilled out on the couch later that day I fell asleep and woke up at 1 am, not knowing where the heck I was lol. Now I can't fall back to sleep.
I haven't worked out in a loooooong time. Really need to go for a run soon. I'm still 6"1, 155 pounds, so I'm not too fat yet, but I gotta be healthier.
Working out does make you feel really good though. Watching animu on the treadmill is one of lifes simple pleasures.
"A nap"
I never learned to take naps, if i fall asleep, i sleep (for two hours or so usually). And wake-up my head feeling as if it were stuffed with cotton.
I'd dare to say they don't understand what's a mental illness. Could there be any way of explaining it to them?
From what you said, it sounds like they truly want you to succeed and do well in life. Perhaps they don't know how to express it properly, but I doubt they mean bad. What if, for example, you replied to that question with a "Things are not bad overall, but there's a few things that have been bothering me. To be honest, I'm not feeling too good." and then you elaborated from there?
I tried explaining what was wrong on a regular base from the age of 10 to 20. They continued to tell me that I was fine and perfectly normal, which kept me from seeing a therapist until I was 19. They do want me to succeed and be happy, but all they ever did was to put a lot of pressure on me. The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
I honestly don't think there is any way I can explain. Maybe I should ask my therapist to talk to them. Or go one on one with them, because there's no way I'll get them both to listen at once.
On a sidenote, I am shocked to find out that you are not, in fact, a girl.
I tried explaining what was wrong on a regular base from the age of 10 to 20. They continued to tell me that I was fine and perfectly normal, which kept me from seeing a therapist until I was 19. They do want me to succeed and be happy, but all they ever did was to put a lot of pressure on me. The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
I honestly don't think there is any way I can explain. Maybe I should ask my therapist to talk to them. Or go one on one with them, because there's no way I'll get them both to listen at once.
On a sidenote, I am shocked to find out that you are not, in fact, a girl.
I get it, yeah. It sucks when people don't understand about it, and think it's just a matter of "dealing with it" or "getting over it" or "being positive and happy". As if depressed people were depressed on purpose and enjoyed that...
Yeah, by all means ask your therapist for tips about talking to your parents. He surely has better advice than me!
I didn't understand your comment about my sex at first, but then I remembered Bags' drawing. Yeah, despite my seemingly feminine username I'm a guy, as far as I know xD
Thinking of picking up some kind of boxing gloves today. I've had a punching bag in my basement set up for the last few weeks. Got some bad news about my mom today, plus some disappointing news over something tiny after and I started tearing up and sniffling at work. Sucks when things happen close enough together to get me upset.
It is what i want to do.
All this rage, hate and resentment, and no outlet.
Punching things could work.
Alternatively i could play some online MP game and kickass but i don't have any that are cathartic (Halo would work but i'm not paying for Xbox Live anymore).
Thinking of picking up some kind of boxing gloves today. I've had a punching bag in my basement set up for the last few weeks. Got some bad news about my mom today, plus some disappointing news over something tiny after and I started tearing up and sniffling at work. Sucks when things happen close enough together to get me upset.
My sister joined a boxing gym and she says it's been a great way to cope with things. So go for it! If joining a gym is an option, even better! At least at first so that you're not hurting yourself doing the exercises incorrectly.
I'm not feeling too good right now... Realized I'll always be stuck in this ugly routine, and this is how my life will be right until the day I die.
Wasting time, procrastinating, never doing the things I wanted to, always alone. I can't find motivation to do anything. It's like I'm on autopilot: get up, get a shower, have breakfast, go to work, go to university if I have a class that day, go home, waste time on the PC, sleep, rinse and repeat. I may see a friend or two every now and then, but that's it. Nothing can feel good.
Is there something that prevents you from doing what you want to do? I suffer from anxiety and bouts of depression and for me its the fear of not completing something to my satisfaction (I tend to be a perfectionist). I've been working hard on this recently and forcing myself to do stuff whether I feel like it or not. Not easy at first but it gets easier.
I've had days where I've felt like you do but believe me, you won't always be stuck. Your mind is amazingly powerful, you just need to do the work to retrain it. deviljhos document in the OP is actually really useful and there are a number of books that you could read to help you. Believe me, if you put the effort in, you'll get through this.
My sister joined a boxing gym and she says it's been a great way to cope with things. So go for it! If joining a gym is an option, even better! At least at first so that you're not hurting yourself doing the exercises incorrectly.
Yeah, getting a few classes first might be a good idea. I'll look into it. thx Went for a run again today instead. x2 the length of the original, I think. Going to wait until my day off to shop around for good gloves too.
Is there something that prevents you from doing what you want to do? I suffer from anxiety and bouts of depression and for me its the fear of not completing something to my satisfaction (I tend to be a perfectionist). I've been working hard on this recently and forcing myself to do stuff whether I feel like it or not. Not easy at first but it gets easier.
I've had days where I've felt like you do but believe me, you won't always be stuck. Your mind is amazingly powerful, you just need to do the work to retrain it. deviljhos document in the OP is actually really useful and there are a number of books that you could read to help you. Believe me, if you put the effort in, you'll get through this.
Lack of motivation, I believe. I feel like I can't do anything right, that I'd be wasting my time, and that everything is pointless.
I don't always feel that way, mind you. But when I do, it's horrible, like I'm trapped inside my own mind and can't get out, and it's consuming me slowly and painfully.
That's what I find difficult: to gather the motivation to put some effort. I feel like giving up already, no point in fighting the inevitable.
Holy crap, you understand my painting? Cause seriously, you got the purpose of it spot on. Didn't think anyone would get it haha...
I feel like minimalism kind of is my calling in art because I can make some interesting strokes and paintings with a few strokes and take advantage of my clear disability in art and make something out of it.
But...Is that OK? I feel it's lazy...Even though I'm happy with it...I feel lazy doing this and I shouldn't be proud of what I did.
Thanks for the compliment and the feed back...Kind of am afraid to post this stuff in Art GAF since they're all good and I don't think will understand what I'm trying to do......
Damn you drew better than me when I was 14...I could draw weird 4 legged wolves that have their legs in the wrong places and all look like they are on the left side of their body...Only thing good I could do was draw tulips on paper but can't do it for the life of me on a graphic tablet.
Thanks for your thoughts..But you did improve drastically since you were 14 however. I know so looking at your stuff now. You can draw doodles that look better than mine, hun.
I'll try to be kinder i guess....
Also I did another minimalist drawing but I know I didn't do well on this one...Strokes were bad and I could have made better color choices...But anyways...
Title is: Sayonara
Yes I realize the strokes are shaky, don't tell me that, I already know...=_=
Does anyone get annoyed that I post my depressional art here though and not on Art GAF?...If it annoys anyone I'll stop.
Did I? Well, i think how you made it made the interpretation pretty clear. To me anyway! I think it's a mix of how you expressed it plus what I know about you. Knowing the artist is part of knowing that art, I think.
And it's plenty okay to focus on minimalism. And you did take time to do it. It sounds like a large amount of time despite you saying you felt "lazy". I always feel like I am lazy for not spending more than 5 hours on most things, but hey, I still spent 5 hours. 5 hours is a significant chunk of time! I try to put that into perspective every time I get too insecure about my own work. I'm not perfect at overcoming that insecurity, but one step at a time, right? lol
It just takes practice. Tons and tons of practice and "wasted effort" and scribbles. My colouring was horrible on a tablet for years and years. I am pretty sure it was only the last couple of years that it actually went anywhere. You have it in you too to take it further.
Your latest drawings also look like you're trying to experiment more with layers and the colours. It's cool. Your .. I want to say wheat strands/reeds one evokes a feeling of being passively blown in the wind. RinoaM changed it to make the strands look more embracing while yours looks more like it's about letting go of everything. It's really cool how a few changes in direction can totally change the meaning of a piece.
And your latest piece you posted looked like a faint hope fluttering away into the dark. It kind of leaves me to question whether this hope will just be lost in the dark or not, but it also kind of beckons the person to follow it as a guide? Like the viewer is kind of presented with the choice to just stand there and watch it disappear or follow it through the dark.
Anyway, I think it's fun to interpret things! And I don't mind if you post art here instead of the "Arts and Farts (lol)" thread or if the subject doesn't have to do with depression. It kind of shows that you are working to express yourself in a positive, creative or constructive way. Like even if it's a fanart doodle of something. It just shows kind of focus and maybe joy in your life. And it's concrete and you made it. That sends a powerful message to yourself, I think.
Thanks for this reply. I agree about the placebo effect -- it's pretty amazing something can work even if you're aware of this phenomenon. I feel much better now, as I tried to cold turkey my Effexor before and now I'm weening myself gradually. A stupid mistake.
Your post and artwork makes me want to draw again. I kind of grew sick of it when I found myself drawing for other people's amusement -- to illicit laughs or reactions. I don't really find that motivating anymore, so maybe drawing just to draw would be a better idea.
Yeah, rage-quitting stuff isn't always the best thing, so I'm glad it's working better for you now.
Ooh yess.. my dream is really to be able to inspire people to be creative or explore their passions. XD I dunno if I can make a living out of doing that, but it sure makes me feel alive!~ And I know how you feel. I also got sick of drawing requests for others. I understood that it made them happy, but it just made what I liked doing feeling like an obligation. And I apparently have some issues with obligations, so yeah. Things surrounding art and requests and obligation is kind of a hazy thing I have to work through (and no one has to apologize for making me feel like this lol.. I just hope everyone has some patience with me).
As for what motivates me to draw... I think I feel like I just have to. A part of me just wants to express myself and tell stories and somehow be involved with life and recreate it for my own. Maybe it's a way to validate my own existence. I don't know. xD I like getting inspired by others and then trying my own spin on things. Or working in my own bubble in my own little world because it's personally satisfying, and if others like it too, then that's icing on the cake.
It's okay to also like what you make and stare at it for hours stroking your ego in pride. Even if it isn't perfect or even that great. I think most artists need to have a guilty pleasure or just plain self-satisfactory amount of art to have a healthy creative mind. (If that is fetish crossover "awesome fan art thread" level illustrations, then so be it lol -- I hold no responsibility for anything that happens to your brain or mood if you click that link)
I tried explaining what was wrong on a regular base from the age of 10 to 20. They continued to tell me that I was fine and perfectly normal, which kept me from seeing a therapist until I was 19. They do want me to succeed and be happy, but all they ever did was to put a lot of pressure on me. The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
I honestly don't think there is any way I can explain. Maybe I should ask my therapist to talk to them. Or go one on one with them, because there's no way I'll get them both to listen at once.
Some people just will never wrap their minds around it. And it's frustrating if you depend on them to help you. I think the best you can do is be firm in what you believe you need and just tell them what that is. And that you will do it with or without them, but you would rather they help.
It might help if your therapist could talk to them about it. Or take one of them aside and try to explain how serious this is to you. But it might take a long time for people to let that sink in. And parents in general can be weird and panic and don't want their children to have things wrong with them that they can't solve or fix easily. Hoping things are phases. Or that maybe you will figure it out on your own somehow. There's a lot of things that can be mentally blocking them from understanding. Try your best to accept the best they have to offer and be firm in what you need and get it for yourself if they are unable to help.
I hope it does go well with talking to them and they understand a little bit more each time.
That is awful. Ugh. You would think that they would cover for something that you need to function well. Any chance you can go talk to your doctor or psychiatrist and maybe they could recommend something that is known to work on similar levels that might be covered?
Been huffing spray paint for the past few nights, definitely helps to bring on a euphoric feeling temporarily despite being pretty dangerous. I used to abuse benzo's to bring about a similar feeling but I'm building up a high tolerance to them so that's kinda out of the picture. Just trying to find ways to put my mind at ease at any cost. Fortunately I recently a found a new band to gig with so that's enjoyable, but when I'm not doing that it's back to the same 'ol shit.
Been huffing spray paint for the past few nights, definitely helps to bring on a euphoric feeling temporarily despite being pretty dangerous. I used to abuse benzo's to bring about a similar feeling but I'm building up a high tolerance to them so that's kinda out of the picture. Just trying to find ways to put my mind at ease at any cost. Fortunately I recently a found a new band to gig with so that's enjoyable, but when I'm not doing that it's back to the same 'ol shit.
Hurts my brain just reading that. I wouldn't condone any drugs if you got anxiety/depression, but I'd rather read you're smoking weed than huffing paint.
Don't fuck with that stuff. You recognize the danger, so best to act accordingly.
To ease your mind (or distract yourself): have you tried meditation?
Get lost in a videogame or your music. Watch some shows/movies. Take a jog or lift some weights. Just spit-balling here -- go for anything less destructive than inhalants.
Been huffing spray paint for the past few nights, definitely helps to bring on a euphoric feeling temporarily despite being pretty dangerous. I used to abuse benzo's to bring about a similar feeling but I'm building up a high tolerance to them so that's kinda out of the picture. Just trying to find ways to put my mind at ease at any cost. Fortunately I recently a found a new band to gig with so that's enjoyable, but when I'm not doing that it's back to the same 'ol shit.
Woah, be careful with what you're doing. I hope you can find a better and safer way to quiet your mind. Even if it means moving to a less harmful substance or shadowboxing or something. Hopefully the band gig does help you a lot and keeps your mind preoccupied with music at least.
It was really touching and even though I lacked sleep, I read all 27 chapters in a few hours. (each chapter is only about 5 pages each)
It was inspiring for me to read since it's about ... I don't know.. not giving up on yourself and your dreams. That part of you that will always want to believe in hope and magic, even though we live in reality. Maybe it will inspire some of you too.
I also made a comic in response to it, featuring the main characters from the comic and me:
I am now sleep-deprived.. even moreso. But it was worth it. XD
I dont know whats been going on but for the last couple of weeks its been unusually rough. It coincides with me switching to the latest batch of generic citalopram from the NHS but Ive not had any withdrawal symptoms so Im fairly sure its not that.
(that said I read a *very* upsetting article about a generic drugs company recently although their actions were limited to other countries)
My OCD has been more OCD than usual. People keep doing things that freak me out. It seemed like last week I couldnt buy a single thing without the person at the checkout picking something off the floor before serving me.
Weve started using scrum at work for managing our tasks and the constant monitoring of what Im doing is driving me up the wall. Im stuck evaluating something another department has done that doesnt work, and as a result am being using as a pawn in a political game between the bosses of us, them, and the other departments in the university. I got grumped at this morning for submitting an expenses claim for a train ticket to a conference I didnt want to go to that I was told to go to at the last minute that was supposedly a bit steep. Tell me in advance and Ill book in advance dammit.
Ive got some paperwork that needs to be in by the end of next month and its stressing me the fuck out. Ive filled in the forms. My GF has checked them. I just need to sign/date and mail it. And its freaking me out.
Those things are the spikes in my mood. I just feel really tired all the time. Regardless of how much sleep Ive had, or how much caffeine. I cant summon the will to do anything.
As an aside, Im really impressed with the art thats been posted.
Been huffing spray paint for the past few nights, definitely helps to bring on a euphoric feeling temporarily despite being pretty dangerous. I used to abuse benzo's to bring about a similar feeling but I'm building up a high tolerance to them so that's kinda out of the picture. Just trying to find ways to put my mind at ease at any cost. Fortunately I recently a found a new band to gig with so that's enjoyable, but when I'm not doing that it's back to the same 'ol shit.
DUDE. Stop that shit right now. Like Verbal Intercourse said, if you absolutely need to do drugs, at least go with weed, since it's the most inoffensive one.
I'd suggest you focus your mind on the band, instead of walking along a path you won't wanna walk through.
Glad to see how a few little doodles have exploded into everyone contributing awesome stuff and having some creative outlet time! I have a slight longer comic strip (3 panels instead of 1 or 2, oh my!) that I started this past weekend that I'm going to try to finish today if I'm not too busy. :3
DUDE. Stop that shit right now. Like Verbal Intercourse said, if you absolutely need to do drugs, at least go with weed, since it's the most inoffensive one.
I'd suggest you focus your mind on the band, instead of walking along a path you won't wanna walk through.
Listen to these people, dude guy. Please, seriously.
Got my first tick today when on my run. I decided to explore a bit off the beaten path. I got it out quickly though. Had a shower when I got back; when I shaved my legs it caught it and pulled the whole thing out clean. Ugh, deer ticks.
Listen to these people, dude guy. Please, seriously.
Got my first tick today when on my run. I decided to explore a bit off the beaten path. I got it out quickly though. Had a shower when I got back; when I shaved my legs it caught it and pulled the whole thing out clean. Ugh, deer ticks.
Lying awake in bed for hours every night due to your singular, debilitating focus on your insecurities is a great start, but ideally you want to get to a point where you have horrible nightly anxiety dreams that persist throughout your few fitful hours of sleep, Kelley added. Thats a clear sign your anxiety is almost entirely gone.
