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[Kenka]

100 answers about anal sex in 27 minutes.
I am on GAF no doubt.

 

[kehs]

She just texted me "I feel I sat on a pile of chilis".

Could be something like an irritated internal hemmroid that got inflammed.

 

[akira28]

Yeah, even if she douches it before you stick it in, it's not a good idea to put it in her vagina after you put it in her anus, she'll end up with a urinary tract infection. If her hole is hurting, tell her to use some corn flour. That usually helps me.

Yeah switching up is only good for porn.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

You used thin lube not meant for anal

 

[Tathanen]

 

[Ferrio]

You used thin lube not meant for anal

Yep, use something like:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BKWZYGM/?tag=neogaf0e-20

 

[SlipperySlope]

Text her back and tell her you've been doing some research and you know how to avoid that next time. Also tell her you'll get something for her discomfort. Then stop by the drug place and get some...hrm...I dunno if Preperation H is the best thing..I was thinking something to give a cooling and soothing sensation but now I can't think of what that might be.

Anyway, cover your bases and pamper her booty when you see her tonight, and maybe in 3 weeks you'll have another go.

edit:
Preparation H Hemorrhoidal Cooling Gel with Vitamin E - Or just some plain Aloe Vera gel something or other will cool the trick.

Thanks so much for the tips .

 

[Septimius]

OP's girlfriend wants breakfast? Why don't you try the diner. She's obviously into Greek......................get it?

Johnny Bench called

 

[Korosenai]

The rawness comes from her sphincter straining to close around your tiny dick.

I said god damn.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Yep, use something like:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BKWZYGM/?tag=neogaf0e-20

Only one review, and it's pretty gold:

I've used this product for some time, and although I've tried other lubricants (water-based and silicone), I always come back to this. I have sensitive skin, and this does not irritate at all. It stays slippery forever. I'd highly recommend it. The only down side is that I wish the bottle would have a pump option.

 

[KINGofCRA5H]

She just texted me "I feel I sat on a pile of chilis".

Quick, tell her you made this thread asking for help. She'll understand.

 

[Ogni-XR21]

Use your finger, then fingers and maybe a toy first. Have regular sex first, make her feel comfortable and best have her come before even considering anal play. I find it to be good to use a small butt plug first while you're having vaginal sex. Let her wear the plug for a while so she get used to it slowly.

Anal is all about preparation and getting her relaxed. Don't go too fast, take your time. Use your fingers and small toys first.

While we're at it, try the butt plug on yourself while having sex. Let her give you a prostate massage while she gives you a blowjob, not only will you have the best orgasm ever but you also show her that you don't expect her to do anything you are not willing to do yourself.

 

[Kinyou]

You have to put it in the butt. That should answer all possible questions

 

[Dead Prince]

use a smaller penis next time.

 

[Vashetti]

If she's clean, don't be afraid to let your tongue wander.

It's the secret best part of it.

 

[hwalker84]

Wish I could help you. My woman won't let me come close to that area anymore.

 

[Zeouterlimits]

I wanted to try it with my ex, but she was not interested, especially with my girth (not a brag) after having tried it in a previous relationship. Totally understandable really.

Note to everyone: I have never actually done this, don't get excited, I just read. A LOT.

Fiction
Stranger than a lot of things.
(Today, 08:09 PM)

 

[R3TRO]

Get some Astroglide, worked for my lady aside from the "Poo feeling sensation" but better that than chili pepper ass.

 

[kehs]

Only one review, and it's pretty gold:

Well, it's true, and not exclusive to that brand, most anal lubes are super viscous while sitting in their bottles.

 

[Switters]

100 answers about anal sex in 27 minutes.
I am on GAF no doubt.

GAF is filled with assholes that need filling.

 

[SlipperySlope]

Lots of good advice. Thanks everyone.

 

[Ferrio]

Only one review, and it's pretty gold:

Only downside is getting it off. Water doesn't wash it away. Upside is you can use it in a hottub or whatever.

 

[ShinobiFist]

Use some Anal plugs first my dude, and leave in there for a minute..And when that butthole is relax, bambi. You in there like a Rocco Siffredi porn on year one Belladonna.

 

[SkepticalPanda]

Question: Did she loosen up before or after you went all in? I think you are supposed to wait until they loosen up before going in.

Note to everyone: I have never actually done this, don't get excited, I just read. A LOT.

Nobody here likes anal.

 

[NotBacon]

The rawness comes from her sphincter straining to close around your tiny dick.

 

[frankie_baby]

Warning: May contain graphic wording

Spoiler

Yeah, even if she douches it before you stick it in, it's not a good idea to put it in her vagina after you put it in her anus, she'll end up with a urinary tract infection. If her hole is hurting, tell her to use some corn flour. That usually helps me.

the trick is to get her to suck it clean after the ass and before the pussy

 

[threetri333]

What is it like compared to Vagina sex?

 

[anonymous_abc]

I wanted to try it with my ex, but she was not interested, especially with my girth (not a brag) after having tried it in a previous relationship. Totally understandable really.

Zeouterlimits
Member
(Today, 09:59 PM)


this thread is hilarious.

 

[breakfuss]

lolol, i really can't right now

 

[Count Dookkake]

What is it like compared to Vagina sex?

More intense, "nastier."

Can calm a bratty woman (or man, I suppose).

 

[Instigator]

Never understood anal. Why go threw all this trouble. Unless your wife is incredibly loose I dont see the issue of using the front door.

Once a month, the front door goes through a maintenance routine.

 

[Vashetti]

the trick is to get her to suck it clean after the ass and before the pussy

This 'trick' leads to oral infections and potentially throat cancer.

 

[casmith07]

haha...oh man, OP.

 

[Borgnine]

You can't get re-infected by bacteria. If it's already inside her butt moving it in to another part of the body won't do anything. Source: science.

 

[Symphonia]

Sorry I'm from the UK and I'm not able to see the thread to answer your question thanks to the new internet rules.

Its never too soon for these kinda jokes.

 

[Featheredkitten]

This 'trick' leads to oral infections and potentially throat cancer.

And is also really gross.

 

[Andrew.]

the trick is to get her to suck it clean after the ass and before the pussy

This 'trick' leads to oral infections and potentially throat cancer.

And is also really gross.

 

[GungHo]

the trick is to get her to suck it clean after the ass and before the pussy

This is the point where the joke was no longer clever.

 

[User 100115]

You can't get re-infected by bacteria. If it's already inside her butt moving it in to another part of the body won't do anything. Source: science.

So you must think you won't get sick if you eat your own poop eh?

 

[breakfuss]

You can't get re-infected by bacteria. If it's already inside her butt moving it in to another part of the body won't do anything. Source: science.

Huh? Sooo, if you stick your finger in your ass, then lick it...rub an eye, etc...you'll be fine?

 

[Andrew.]

So you must think you won't get sick if you eat your own poop eh?

Of course not. You're just re-eating food you already ate.

 

[kehs]

You can't get re-infected by bacteria. If it's already inside her butt moving it in to another part of the body won't do anything. Source: science.

I would mock this, butt it's borgnine.

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

you have 2 holes that's naturally lubricated, the vagina and mouth, that you don't wanna use, and instead chose to use the 3rd hole, that's only lubricated during diarrhea? wha'ts wrong with you?

 

[t-storm]

The rawness comes from her sphincter straining to close around your tiny dick.

lol

 

[RK9039]

'Use Plunging Attack'.

 

[Count Dookkake]

you have 2 holes that's naturally lubricated, the vagina and mouth, that you don't wanna use, and instead chose to use the 3rd hole, that's only lubricated during diarrhea? wha'ts wrong with you?

One has teeth.

One makes babies.

Nothing is perfect.

 

[TommyT]

edit: :ALKJF:OIJ_@*(J you CD! Your pm was right ((((((((((

you have 2 holes that's naturally lubricated, the vagina and mouth, that you don't wanna use, and instead chose to use the 3rd hole, that's only lubricated during diarrhea? wha'ts wrong with you?

The two lubricated ones are for the boom. The non is for the pow! BOOM BOOM POW!

 

[Alligatorjandro]

Just do cocaine next time. How else could porn stars take 3 wieners in the behind at once?

 

[ajim]

As someone who loves anal sex with girls, the more you guys do it the easier and better it will be. Its like training a muscle.

Eventually she will really enjoy it and nay be able to orgasm anally like my ex gf.

Its nice to use a lubricant with 2% lidocaine (spelling?) which will lightly numb the anus, although not enough to disguise pain, but more than enough to enjoy anal better.

Also use a small anal vibrating probe to warm her up instead of your fingers, it'll feel better for her, and you won't risk the chance or tearing her insides with your nails.

Edit: a vibrating buttplug ism also fantastic fun and great at stretching.

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

One has teeth.

One makes babies.

Nothing is perfect.

if she's using teeth, she's doing it wrong.

if she's having babies, you're doing it wrong.