Hey I thought you were moving to Seattle, focus on that goal and things will get better.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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Hey I thought you were moving to Seattle, focus on that goal and things will get better.
Dastardly Jerks
Banned
Is there any way you can change your circumstances? I know :effort: and everything, but is anything in the realm of possibility?
i have no money to move. my finances are horrible.
only way i can see is to die and let others have a good life.
Save a bit of money, and start looking for jobs in Seattle to ease the process.
toadsworth
Banned
A bit late, but:
5 things that get me through the day:
1) Music: Without music I probably couldn't cope with anything in my life. Its the only thing that makes me truly feel, makes me human again. There is nothing better than losing myself in an album fully.
2) Escaping: Be it a good book, movie or game, escaping from this reality is crucial to dealing with my existence. I can lose myself in a story totally distant from my life and escape my own troubles, even if it is for a short time. Get away from my own brain for a bit.
3) Alcohol, Weed: Unhealthy I guess, but its nice to be someone that I'm not for a time. Nothing like distancing myself from my own thoughts for a time.
4) The Internet: Firstly, all of you inhabit this beautiful place. Its nice to connect with others who can relate to what you are dealing with. And I love staying informed on world politics and all other news, this planet is fascinating and infuriating. Its nice forming my own opinion about an issue even if no one I know personally gives a shit what I have to say, I tell them anyways
5) uhhh. cigarettes or something, I dunno go read one of the other ones again
5 things that get me through the day:
1) Music: Without music I probably couldn't cope with anything in my life. Its the only thing that makes me truly feel, makes me human again. There is nothing better than losing myself in an album fully.
2) Escaping: Be it a good book, movie or game, escaping from this reality is crucial to dealing with my existence. I can lose myself in a story totally distant from my life and escape my own troubles, even if it is for a short time. Get away from my own brain for a bit.
3) Alcohol, Weed: Unhealthy I guess, but its nice to be someone that I'm not for a time. Nothing like distancing myself from my own thoughts for a time.
4) The Internet: Firstly, all of you inhabit this beautiful place. Its nice to connect with others who can relate to what you are dealing with. And I love staying informed on world politics and all other news, this planet is fascinating and infuriating. Its nice forming my own opinion about an issue even if no one I know personally gives a shit what I have to say, I tell them anyways
5) uhhh. cigarettes or something, I dunno go read one of the other ones again
I wish I could. Everytime I do there is an emergency and I have to help pay
Robot_Rave
Neo Member
I've been feeling a bit down lately about my lake of a social life and no girlfriend. I'm 23 years old and I lost contact with my friends when I left school and have only had 1 girlfriend which stuck with me for 6 months and then left me early this year.
I keep thinking that my lack of success with girls is because either I'm ugly or my personality is boring. This makes me feel like that there must be something wrong with me because having 1 girlfriend in 23 years is obviously a symptom that something is not quite right with me, which makes me feel absolutely worthless to people. Apart from my family who love me very much and treat me well, the rest of the world just shows indifference towards me, which makes me feel unwanted, unvalued, unloved, and just a useless boring person that no one gives a shit about.
Because of no friends, girlfriend, and social life, my life seems pointless and boring, i get really sad when I see people partying and having fun because I haven't experienced that, and i feel that i never will, and its making me feel like the rest of my life will be boring.
Has anyone ever had a similar situation happen with them and how did you pull yourself out of this rut?
I keep thinking that my lack of success with girls is because either I'm ugly or my personality is boring. This makes me feel like that there must be something wrong with me because having 1 girlfriend in 23 years is obviously a symptom that something is not quite right with me, which makes me feel absolutely worthless to people. Apart from my family who love me very much and treat me well, the rest of the world just shows indifference towards me, which makes me feel unwanted, unvalued, unloved, and just a useless boring person that no one gives a shit about.
Because of no friends, girlfriend, and social life, my life seems pointless and boring, i get really sad when I see people partying and having fun because I haven't experienced that, and i feel that i never will, and its making me feel like the rest of my life will be boring.
Has anyone ever had a similar situation happen with them and how did you pull yourself out of this rut?
Ever considered signing up for the National November Novel Writer's Month (I forget the acronym)? It gives you a nice way to schedule and keep track of how much you're writing over a set period of time. Professional writers did one thing, if they did one thing only- they wrote, they write and they keep writing. Even if it sucks, even if it's "crap practice", even if it's just getting all the unsatisfactory stories out of your head and on "paper" to make way for the better stuff, write!
I know how it feels to not have the energy for it, or to have lost it, I feel ya brah.
I once came across a list titled something like "90 Habits of Successful Author's" (or Writer's, I forget which). Look it up, it's quotes and tidbits of advice on writing from some of the most well-known writers over the years.
If it makes anyone feel any better, it is thought that up to 60% of writer's are thought to be bipolar, depressed, or something outside of the "norm". At least, I know I tell myself this is why I had such a penchant for writing, even at a young age.
Yup, I'm in a fairly similar position right now too, the same age, have felt a lot of the things you're talking about, etc.
You have a loving family by the sounds of it, which is obviously something you should reflect on and take heart from. I'm sure if they care about you, you are not worthless or unwanted by them. So, you have that going for you!
As for making friends, you can only put yourself out there into situations where you find similar, like-minded people that share your interests, whatever those are. Nothing's going to improve on that front if you just waste your energy ruing the fact that you have no friends. Be positive and go forth! It's never easy, but you can totally make a friend or two just by showing your willingness to be someone's friend. There are tons of people looking for someone to show them compassion and friendship, and you could be That Super Special Person™ who walks into and improves their life.
I think it's a positive thing you've identified what's got you down right now. And knowing that, you can start to improve on the aspects that are lacking in your life at the moment. The ability to do the things you want to is within your grasp.
I mean, is there any way you can connect with people and start to make friends that way? Is there anyone at work/school you could strike up a few conversations with? Or find an activity you could do that might bring you to like-minded people?
1 girlfriend in 23 years is not an "obvious symptom that something about you is wrong" - it's a sign that that at least somebody found you interesting and appealing enough, and there will be more. 1 out of 23 years isn't some sort of amazingly low number like some like to make it out to be - it is something you can be proud of. Relationships are a bit of a catch-22 - confidence is very attractive (in yourself/what you do/your art/anything really), but it's hard to be confident without previous successes. You already KNOW, however, that you CAN be successful with girls - so you should gain confidence from that. Try and find something you really care about (school, work, art, etc), and friends (and girls) will follow.
TL;DR: 1/23 years isn't bad at all, feel good about that, find something you're passionate about, friends and girls will follow.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Just got it confirmed, she went out and said it. "But I have feelings for him, and want to be with him to see where things are going". Feels so weird. He seems to be inching away and not as interested anymore, while she's doing the opposite.
She's constantly trying to be a good friend, hugging me and telling me that I'm so great since she knows I do have a dark place that might consume me otherwise, but right now, I just feel like some anti-magnet where she bounced off of me towards him, despite everything being so great.
As soon as I get home, I'm gonna eat 4 sleepingpills and watch something great like Adventureland.
She's constantly trying to be a good friend, hugging me and telling me that I'm so great since she knows I do have a dark place that might consume me otherwise, but right now, I just feel like some anti-magnet where she bounced off of me towards him, despite everything being so great.
As soon as I get home, I'm gonna eat 4 sleepingpills and watch something great like Adventureland.
It seems like she's relying on you for happiness while being more emotionally invested in him... If you're not okay with that, you HAVE to tell her. For her and your own sake. This isn't healthy for either of you... You're missing out on getting to bond with someone similarly into you and she's lying to herself. /my2cents
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Just told her I'm not going to be selfish and jealous and stand between them, but I need some space in that case and that she shouldn't take it personally, because it's just me being the fractured person I am.
Yeah that's what I meant, really. You have to separate yourself from them, then she can decide for herself if she's happy with him or needs you to be happy. She can't have both of you guys around, because somebody (you) will get hurt.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
In the end, I think she'll be the one that gets hurt. My friend leaves a trail of fire and brimstone after him. I started with a girl a couple of months ago, she really likes me and we talk a lot, but when push came to shove, she didn't want anything near a relationship, because she felt so burned after being with my friend, even though they were barely together.
Heh, kinda poetic, I stand in his shadow and yet I don't even get his leftovers.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Man, we just spent like half an hour chatting on our internal office-chat. Surreal speaking to a girl talking about how fucking happy she is to have met you, but...
Man, and we're all going to see Pacific Rim tomorrow...
Man, and we're all going to see Pacific Rim tomorrow...
Velcro Fly
Member
I have a really good opportunity to land a great job that will give me full time hours, benefits, and a decent wage. I've been struggling to find work for a while and it has been a huge issue in my life lately. I know that they say money doesn't make the world go around, but I think if I get this job it will be the happiest I've been since I was in college. I might cry tears of joy if I get hired. Fingers crossed everyone!
I signed up for NaNoWriMo last year but barely even got started.
Randomly, I happened to queue up this old video from illdoctrine, one of my favorite vloogers. He talks about struggles making videos and how he deals with "the little hater" in his head. The little hater is basically the part of him that sets up mental traps that stop him from making his videos regularly.
This video always resonates with me because I have my own little hater in my head who plays tricks on me to keep me from working. For example, on my blog, I do this weekly (it's supposed to be weekly, anyway) comic book review feature. It's fun and I enjoy doing them, and my friends who have read them say that they're good. But as the weeks rolled on since I started in February, I started finding it harder and harder to keep up. Over time, my own little hater starting showing up and causing me to second guess myself on what I was doing. Tell me that my insights weren't original or very deep (I still can't talk about art for shit), or my word choice was poor, or my entries were boring. I began considering branching out and using the feature to do things besides review comics (like do essays on my favorite storylines or characters), but then here comes the little hater to convince me my ideas suck and I don't have anything worthwhile to say. And then my perfectionism takes over and I feel like all the stuff I've already written was a fluke and I actually suck and there's no point in trying. Then I end up procrastinating because I figure I have to be the hottest shit since Hemingway before I'm worthy of putting words down and then everyday I don't do something gives the little hater more ammo to say I suck and it's just this shitty spiral. lol And it only gets worse when I get an idea for a short story or a blog topic that's outside of comics.
The funny thing is, I know this all bullshit. I know I have talent and potential to have even greater talent if I work at it. But the little hater is quite the trickster. lol
I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the middle of trying to find a fall internship myself (haven't had a job at all before) and I can't imagine how happy I'd be to get one. The job process can be tiring, especially after multiple rejections. I've always imagined landing a (good) job just proves my own self worth/gives me a sense of purpose and structure in life. So best of luck!
A bit belated but happy birthday!
Hopefully today is a bit better for you than yesterday.
Are some people faking love?
If they been together for 3 - 4 years and still act like they just fell in love, is that actually possible or are they keeping a facade?
Its probably just me being bitter cause I havent been in love in over half a decade and cant even imagine what it feels like. I doubt if it can happen to me anymore.
If they been together for 3 - 4 years and still act like they just fell in love, is that actually possible or are they keeping a facade?
Its probably just me being bitter cause I havent been in love in over half a decade and cant even imagine what it feels like. I doubt if it can happen to me anymore.
Agent Cooper
Member
Having your period sucks. Plain and simple.
When I feel shitty physically, it starts to affect me emotionally.
I feel like shit all over.
*headdesk*
edit:
Here's a song that cheers me up some on a sad day.
When I feel shitty physically, it starts to affect me emotionally.
I feel like shit all over.
*headdesk*
edit:
Here's a song that cheers me up some on a sad day.
Yup, though I have a couple of great friends which I see occasionally. But yeah, I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend (and I know for certain that I never will), so I feel the same.
Whatever. That's the way it is. Can't change what isn't going to change, so I've given up. Which doesn't mean that I don't hate the situation or my life, but I kinda accepted it.
I have no idea how one could pull themselves out of it, to be honest. Don't know about you, but in my case it's impossible.
Robot_Rave
Neo Member
hey Thanks for the advice! Recently I joined a church youth group on Sundays which my Mum encouraged me to join, and I've made a friend out of that, so I suppose that's a positive, i'm not even religious but i'm just going as a way to meet new people
Robot_Rave
Neo Member
thanks man! I suppose that's a better way of looking at things, it just sucks being single
Fudgepuppy
Banned
How normal is it for people to get that if you're ignoring them, it's because it hurts so much?
I told her last night everything, I said I need my distance and I promptly started ignoring her at work, etc.
Now everyone are going out of town to a cabin, and no one's asked me, and I really hope people aren't colluding against me and hating me now because they think I'm the asshole who hates everyone.
I'm seeing Pacific Rim tonight so I don't want to go to the cabin, but still, don't want to become paranoid thinking everyone hates me because they assume I'm a childish asshole who's ignoring everyone out of petty reasons.
I told her last night everything, I said I need my distance and I promptly started ignoring her at work, etc.
Now everyone are going out of town to a cabin, and no one's asked me, and I really hope people aren't colluding against me and hating me now because they think I'm the asshole who hates everyone.
I'm seeing Pacific Rim tonight so I don't want to go to the cabin, but still, don't want to become paranoid thinking everyone hates me because they assume I'm a childish asshole who's ignoring everyone out of petty reasons.
Can I go with you fudgepuppy?
You mentioned everyone was going to the movie together yesterday and now it's the cabin. To me that sounds like they're giving you your space.
As for how they're really taking it, or how other people are perceiving it, unfortunately you can't know unless you talk to them.
Unless you notice other people acting differently towards you there's no reason to be paranoid. That's easy to say, though I'd be the same way.
I could use a hug.
You mentioned everyone was going to the movie together yesterday and now it's the cabin. To me that sounds like they're giving you your space.
As for how they're really taking it, or how other people are perceiving it, unfortunately you can't know unless you talk to them.
Unless you notice other people acting differently towards you there's no reason to be paranoid. That's easy to say, though I'd be the same way.
I could use a hug.
Being an ugly, undateable dumb person makes me wonder why I am even alive. Why give him feeling to eat me up inside. Hate when other day good things come to those who wait or someone is out there for you. These people are already in relationships and they said this crap so I don't stab myself in head with a screwdriver. Yet it's ok to live suffering.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
She actually texted me and asked me if we could go tomorrow. I lied and said I'd already paid for the tickets, then went with another friend I barely hang out with.
Texted her and told her I really want us to be part of each others lives and that I wish her the best, but that right now I just need to sort some shit out so I don't ruin anything. She seems as happy as always.
I guess he makes her happy, which is kind of sad because she says she never falls in love, and then she has to fall in love with the guy who is so stuck in his own version of reality that he doesn't really perceive how much he can hurt other people.
It seems like a question of when rather than if things will start blazing.
Still hope her the best, just don't want to see her hurt.
Can I tell you as someone who also feels he is an ugly undateable dumb person that things get better. It sucks how much people can play upon your feelings, I mean out of your control, but things will get better. Time will pass and things temper. Gah I wish I could put into words what my feeling is on this better. When you have strong feelings for someone and it doesn't work out, it feels like there is nothing else, but you have to remember that happiness in life starts with you as an individual, not based on some other individual.
I'm really struggling with explaining this, it probably sounds bad and wrong.
That's a tough situation to be in. That said, it seems it's come to an okay place for the time being. Hopefully she isn't hurt like it sounds like she might, but maybe it'll be an important learning experience for her regardless.She actually texted me and asked me if we could go tomorrow. I lied and said I'd already paid for the tickets, then went with another friend I barely hang out with.
Texted her and told her I really want us to be part of each others lives and that I wish her the best, but that right now I just need to sort some shit out so I don't ruin anything. She seems as happy as always.
I guess he makes her happy, which is kind of sad because she says she never falls in love, and then she has to fall in love with the guy who is so stuck in his own version of reality that he doesn't really perceive how much he can hurt other people.
It seems like a question of when rather than if things will start blazing.
Still hope her the best, just don't want to see her hurt.
How was the movie by the way?
Fudgepuppy
Banned
I'm trying to find that GIF of McNulty/Dominic West crying from happiness, because that's kind of how I feel.
As a man that has never been on a proper date before, I can relate. If you are actively seeking for someone else, that is still a positive thing. It might take a while, but you will have some good qualities to offer another person that will appreciate you. Even if the depression strongly tells you otherwise. Because of my current age and circumstances, I am not in a good position to try and date anyone, financially or mentally. So that idea is on hiatus for me. Sometimes feels like a part that's missing though, among other things.
She actually texted me and asked me if we could go tomorrow. I lied and said I'd already paid for the tickets, then went with another friend I barely hang out with.
Texted her and told her I really want us to be part of each others lives and that I wish her the best, but that right now I just need to sort some shit out so I don't ruin anything. She seems as happy as always.
I guess he makes her happy, which is kind of sad because she says she never falls in love, and then she has to fall in love with the guy who is so stuck in his own version of reality that he doesn't really perceive how much he can hurt other people.
It seems like a question of when rather than if things will start blazing.
Still hope her the best, just don't want to see her hurt.
For what it's worth, I think you're acting incredibly mature and exactly the way you should. Good on you and all the best.
I know exactly what you mean. It really fucking sucks, which is why I distract myself (music) when I am left alone to my thoughts
User 100115
Banned
Thanks for cheering me up some tonight guys. You are all the best.
GillianSeed79
Member
You think they'll burn me like Buncle? They all have something to live for now. They all have kids now. I looked into Eva's face and the unconditional love she has for her father. The envy. She looked at me and she was scared. I am a wasted genetic line, corrupted. Of the five I am the only one without child. There is no point to my existence. The line will continue. I am only delaying the inevitible. I just don't want to be cremated. I envy those with child. To be loved unconditionally. Cherish it. I fear I am not long for this world and I will burn.
Cameron122
Member
Hi guys and gals.
Can't sleep.
Can't sleep.
Right there with you. I wish I could sleep like a normal person. I'm going to end up powering through the night and trying to reset my sleep schedule.
Termbomber
Neo Member
Been involved with a number of good people for a number of years. Suddenly I feel like compared to them, I'm not really that relevant despite other people within said group telling me otherwise.
It blows, knowing I can't compare myself to them and my opinions are not really that important.
It blows, knowing I can't compare myself to them and my opinions are not really that important.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Thanks.
I do feel though like I could use some explosive drama in my life for once, but I'm just too careful to go berserk.
I wanna thank you for what you did this morning Mono. You are fucking awesome.
If necessary I will remind you every single day how great you are.
ThLunarian
Member
Found out yesterday that the girl who broke up with me in June because she was "too busy" is now dating someone else.
The effect it's having on me doesn't make sense. I cared about her, sure; I still do. But I also could see that there were some major differences that would have been big problems down the line, and I never saw myself marrying her.
I think maybe it's just compounding the larger issues I'm having, with feeling worthless and abandoned and lonely, and maybe I'm fixated on it because its something concrete to focus on.
It sucks. Tomorrow I start seeing an on-campus therapist; I hope he can help me.
The effect it's having on me doesn't make sense. I cared about her, sure; I still do. But I also could see that there were some major differences that would have been big problems down the line, and I never saw myself marrying her.
I think maybe it's just compounding the larger issues I'm having, with feeling worthless and abandoned and lonely, and maybe I'm fixated on it because its something concrete to focus on.
It sucks. Tomorrow I start seeing an on-campus therapist; I hope he can help me.
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