Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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stn
Member
Good way to go about it. Just make sure you don't close your mind to the possibility of it. The worst thing is when you think you don't want something, and then resist it when it presents itself to you. For all you know you may be just the type of person for a relationship. You just don't know it because you haven't experienced the right one.
I'm of the belief that a relationship of some kind is for everyone. Humans are social by nature. They become anti-social due to their own insecurities about themselves, among other things.
I'm of the belief that a relationship of some kind is for everyone. Humans are social by nature. They become anti-social due to their own insecurities about themselves, among other things.
Vermillion
Banned
I swear I'm the opposite. I'm about to give up on relationships and just go after sex, for now.
Vermillion
Banned
Go for it, why not?May as well!
Either way, Pau had great advice a while back for hangups on sex and sexuality. It's fine to be happy being yourself, but wouldn't it be better to be the best you that you can be? To have the whole package? We only have so much time on this Earth, and even if you have to switch areas to find out how you can live to your fullest, shouldn't you do that? From what I know of you, you're pretending that this isn't something you want. Instead, you're hiding from your wants. Please, don't do that. In the end, you should try to at least discover who you are - truly - on your way to being who you want to be.
EDIT: Okay, that sounds cheesy as hell... I have a knack for that, lol. But I'm serious.
EDIT 2: Grap3fruitman, that can also go for you, but in another way. Figure out why your life sucks and what you want from it. Then work towards it.
Perhaps, but I don't really care either wayThat's the best part. If it never happens, I really don't care. I'm happy either way!
That's a good healthy attitude. I bet 50 bucks you'll be married in 5 years though.
I dunno, I was more into wanting to be "normal" than anything. But with or without a relationship, I'm fine and normal enough haha.
Married? Lol gross. Even if I actually started being interested in relationships, I'd never get married haha.
Vermillion
Banned
I dunno, I was more into wanting to be "normal" than anything. But with or without a relationship, I'm fine and normal enough haha.
So long as you've hit that normal threshold, and you're fine with it.
I dunno, I was more into wanting to be "normal" than anything. But with or without a relationship, I'm fine and normal enough haha.
Married? Lol gross. Even if I actually started being interested in relationships, I'd never get married haha.
I'll do whatever it takes to win this bet. See you in Vegas in 2018.
Haha good luck with that.
Its an excuse to go to vegas. I'll pretend you're there.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Normal is boring!I dunno, I was more into wanting to be "normal" than anything. But with or without a relationship, I'm fine and normal enough haha.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
That would be pathetic even by troll standards.
Despite telling myself not to get hung up on the girl I met last night, I can tell I'm starting to. Looking at different OkCupid profiles hasn't helped. I guess I need to find better distractions while I'm not busy.
Are you saying being sexless makes you less normal?Well, as normal as a not-asexual, sexless person can be
xXBetter Off DadXx
Member
Thread is jumpin' tonight! Home on Friday night?
Haha not really. If I was asexual, it'd be totally normal. I'm just different
And that's cool!A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Being different is cool, but like Vermillion said, don't convince yourself you don't want something because it's hard. As long as you're happy, that's what matters. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.Haha not really. If I was asexual, it'd be totally normal. I'm just different
Try to go on more dates with other girls to keep yourself and your mind occupied, who knows, you might find someone you like even more.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
this thread isn't helping you and you're not helping the thread. I'm not even sure GAF is good for you at this point
boredofcanada
Member
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Great to see you a lot more cheery Leeness 
Suits you. You'll find yourself and love and everything, don't you worry If you don't mind, would you like to tell us more about your therapy? Like how you set it up, what you talk about, how it feels etc? Might make it a bit less scary for others Unless it's too private of course.
Suits you. You'll find yourself and love and everything, don't you worry If you don't mind, would you like to tell us more about your therapy? Like how you set it up, what you talk about, how it feels etc? Might make it a bit less scary for others Unless it's too private of course.trab pu kcip
Member
woah that's EXACTLY what I always say! I hear ya sis.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Which part? You're not implying that...
trab pu kcip
Member
implying what?
well I think it's important not to base your life around the idea of being with someone. I mean it's great if you find someone to spend your life with but it's important you don't become dependent on having a relationship.
I know so many people who have relationship after relationship just because they can't be alone. you should be able to exist on your own imo. if that isn't the case any relationship can only provide a temporary solution for that problem anyway.
but while I honestly have a much easier time just getting along all by myself (following my own guidelines hah!) I remain open to the idea of having a relationship, although I don't feel like I necessarily need one. so I still go on dates and try my best but if it doesn't work out, that's how it is and I can live with that
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Ah okay, I thought you were saying you didn't think relationships were for you along with the rest. I'm not sure I can handle two cool, hot women with that attitude in the same thread! I agree with everything you said. For me it's a want, not a need.implying what?
well I think it's important not to base your life around the idea of being with someone. I mean it's great if you find someone to spend your life with but it's important you don't become dependent on having a relationship.
I know so many people who have relationship after relationship just because they can't be alone. you should be able to exist on your own imo. if that isn't the case any relationship can only provide a temporary solution for that problem anyway.
but while I honestly have a much easier time just getting along all by myself (following my own guidelines hah!) I remain open to the idea of having a relationship, although I don't feel like I necessarily need one. so I still go on dates and try my best but if it doesn't work out, that's how it is and I can live with that
forknknife
Banned
implying what?
well I think it's important not to base your life around the idea of being with someone. I mean it's great if you find someone to spend your life with but it's important you don't become dependent on having a relationship.
I know so many people who have relationship after relationship just because they can't be alone. you should be able to exist on your own imo. if that isn't the case any relationship can only provide a temporary solution for that problem anyway.
but while I honestly have a much easier time just getting along all by myself (following my own guidelines hah!) I remain open to the idea of having a relationship, although I don't feel like I necessarily need one. so I still go on dates and try my best but if it doesn't work out, that's how it is and I can live with that
I completely agree, I've been single most my life and I have actually been happier when single than in most my relationships.
But, from what I see, many people with this sort of attitude change completely once they hit their 30s when panic about spending the rest of your life alone and without a family kicks in. I'm still not at that point, but some of the girls I've been with lately start to fit in that category. I don't like it.
trab pu kcip
Member
well there were times I honestly believed that and I sometimes still do when I get frustrated with things NEVER working out but I found that it's really not a healthy attitude to have so I tried to be more open and it worked. maybe also some advice for leeness
yep.
oh yeah there's a lot of society pressure going on I think.
Fuck. I'm an idiot. There's this girl on a datingsite who is pretty clingy. I've ignored her a couple of times, so I wanted to block her. I click on her name to do it, and in the split second I'm clicking her link, somebody else comes online, and I accidentily block her. And she was actually really nice. I think a FML is in order. FML 
Fuck. I'm an idiot. There's this girl on a datingsite who is pretty clingy. I've ignored her a couple of times, so I wanted to block her. I click on her name to do it, and in the split second I'm clicking her link, somebody else comes online, and I accidentily block her. And she was actually really nice. I think a FML is in order. FML
Huh? You can't unblock?
This was a "block and delete from my contact list". If you get deleted from somebodys list, you get a soulcrushing message that says: Idde has deleted you from his contacts. I still have nightmares from those
You can send a message to reinitiate contact, which I did, but so far she hasn't responded.
False Witness
Member
Actually, he is pretty damned attractive; fit, as well. He's posted quite a bit in the PYP threads before. Obviously, we all know that simply being good-looking has no real bearing on how you view yourself though or even how you feel inside. It doesn't automatically turn you into a friendly or likable person either. However, it is most certainly not a negative. It's something that you can fall back on and be proud of in a way. There are people like me out there who struggle with all of the same insecurities and experiences that he does, but will never be near as handsome or good-looking, no matter how fit we may become. It's just one thing that neither grap3fruitman nor Leeness should ever have to worry about.
As he has demonstrated time and time again in these threads, his attitude is most likely his main problem when it comes to people. I mean, it puts everyone in the thread on edge and likely does the same in person. Now, the question is, is the attitude a symptom of his problems or the cause of them? Of course, it could very well be both.
Personally, I think having a really negative attitude is probably one of the easiest things to deal with, but it can also be the hardest thing about a person to change. To put it simply, there is no real advice you can give beside the very basic 'Change your attitude'. There are no real steps in changing it. It's just something that happens.
Anyway, the reason I brought up Leeness a second ago is because I kind of want to compare her general feelings/attitudes with grap3fruitman's.
Quite frankly, they are both very good-looking people. However, at the moment, I don't really like either of their attitudes when it comes to meeting people/relationships. Neither seem to believe that theere is a healthy relationship in their future in the slightest. grap3fruitman is entirely too negative about the whole thing (friendship included), while Leeness is entirely too optimistic about simply dropping the idea of a relationship from her life altogether. Both of them are going to end up pushing people away because of that, at very different times though. Lee will draw people in at first before eventually hurting them quite a bit when they do perhaps want to be a little closer and I don't believe grap3fruitman is even allowing anyone to come close in the first place. To be honest, I think his attitude would prevent him from even recognizing if someone wanted to spend time with him altogether simply because he is so set on believing that he is unwanted.
Back to the whole changing attitudes thing:
Hell, for me, it is simply a switch in my brain. It's almost like two different people, in fact. The part I don't really consider to be myself is when I just shut my thinking down and somehow turn into a likable dude and it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense to me. I also slip into this other part of me when I'm really upset or angry, which is weird because I draw people in to me during those times where I would really rather that they be repelled and stay away. The part of me that I consider to be who I truly am is very distant and constantly in a state of panic or anxiety. I get very somber and distressed when I am fully aware of myself and my surroundings. It's who I really am and it is all the negative parts of me. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense really.
I'd like to make friends by being the person I view myself as, but it is rather difficult. Obviously, I understand why it is difficult because those traits make it very hard for me to appear as a friendly person. I guess it's harder on me because I know I can attract people to my side by being the other me, but when I try to be who I consider myself to be when my mind is active and working, all I receive is pity and empathy, which I don't really enjoy. It makes me feel lesser. I make friends easily when in that other state; however, I don't really feel as though I am all that close to them in the slightest. I guess I only feel like I can be really close to someone when I show my worst to them and they accept it. For some reason though, once I get people to share things about themselves with me that they wouldn't normally share, they start responding poorly to me. Maybe it's because they get this very false notion that I have some kind of power over them for knowing the 'bad' side of them. I don't know, maybe some people would use that knowledge against a person and they become afraid of that. I never do, but they have trouble thinking it's possible, I guess.
Well, I'm not even sure if I had a point anymore. Oh well. Oh, yeah, all the advice in the world is useless if you don't think it's worth a damn.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Question about asking A (the girl who I met up with Thursday night) to get lunch Tuesday. If she says she can't, should I respond with "Okay, if you want to hang out sometime contact me." or differently? For the most part I believe that if a girl is into you she'll find the time to meet up. I always want to keep the ball in her court.
Minamu, what would Brent do? You never sent me those video, man!
Minamu, what would Brent do?
You never sent me those video, man!A lot of times people like to leave the planning to the other person, so her not suggesting another time isn't necessarily an indication of lack of interest towards you. It can be, but it can also mean she may not be an decisive person or whatever.
But really, it's best not to get hung up on things like this. You'll just go crazy thinking about all the reasons why she wouldn't go out with you or whatever. Don't pine for her, and don't wait on her responses. Just go occupy your time with something else in the meantime.
Great to see you a lot more cheery Leeness
It wasn't that interesting! I don't go anymore, but I "shopped" around a bit until I found a therapist I liked. And then we just talked. Haha. It was nice.
High five!
FalseWitness, why you mad at me
I don't "draw people in" so no need to worry about me hurting random guys? Lol.A Human Becoming
More than a Member
If she doesn't want to go out with me, I'm fine with that. I just don't want to act like because she wouldn't I'm no longer interested.
I still am looking at other profiles. I just want to plan my next move since I'm treading uncharted waters.
PumpkinPie
Banned
I'm having a fucking nightmare with my GF tonight. She hates that I very occasionally play games and has been trying to mould me into a different person since we started going out. I've played my DS for one day this week and she's giving me shit.
She's out right now with her friends and sends me a text saying "you're not an adult, you could put your DS aside if you wanted to". I'm fucking home alone, why does it bother her that I'm doing it?? She's out doing her own thing, but I'm not allowed to do mine. WTF is even going on?
She's out right now with her friends and sends me a text saying "you're not an adult, you could put your DS aside if you wanted to". I'm fucking home alone, why does it bother her that I'm doing it?? She's out doing her own thing, but I'm not allowed to do mine. WTF is even going on?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I say dump her; She doesn't respect you.
Seriously. "You're not an adult" from someone who seems to constantly whinge about a persons hobby? She sounds like a child. The average age is 30 for gamers. She doesn't respect you and wants to force you to stop doing something you enjoy.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Hey, good luck dudes and dudettes.
To the person above, have a srs talk, dump if things don't work out.
To the person above, have a srs talk, dump if things don't work out.
Vermillion
Banned
On that note, there are few things that irritate me as much as perfectly attractive people complaining about how unattractive they are or how much their sex life sucks. No, it's not everything, but damn it, you won a genetic lottery - use that talent! Not much more you need to do than be in the right places. It's easy mode, kids.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Clearly, it isn't.
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