DJ Lushious
Member
No, it is not wrong. And it sounds cliche, but you cannot rely on someone else to make you happy. You have to find a new social life and you have to go out and do your own activities. No one else can carry that load but you.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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Yes, AGAIN. Last time, I swear! I wanted it to be shorter.
I do try to keep busy. I'm pretty high-energy, I just have a bad habit of getting a lot on the go and trying to "work through it" even when I get to the point of burning the candle at both ends. I figure if I work on a tiny but of everything regularly, it will come much easier for crunch time if ithere is one.
I feel like this a lot. Most of the time in fact. I read, but I only do it because I force myself to and I don't get any enjoyment out of it. Same goes for video games and gym workouts and movie watching.
I've ran into difficulty in getting over my problems. I have been through a course of CBT but when it comes to challenging my thoughts and being more social with people, I just can't. Firstly, I am just too tired all the time and not in the mood to socialize at all. Secondly, this lack of energy makes me extremely emotionally sensitive. If I smile at someone and they don't smile back for example, I'm devastated. Recently I asked for something and was declined, and my emotional reaction was so extreme that I could not speak, only nod. I also have an overwhelming fear of doing the wrong thing and coming across as weird, even though I know that I come across as weird already due to lack of socializing. Challenging my thoughts doesn't work as it doesn't affect my emotions. I have had many successful interactions in the past but no matter how hard I think of them it does not make future interactions any easier.
Does anyone know what typically happens next if CBT doesn't work? I feel like I could make huge progress with the CBT principles if only I didn't feel at an emotional cliff edge all the time. Will antidepressants work? I have been this way all my life and feel that maybe my emotional responses are too deeply ingrained to overcome alone.
But I don't want to use antidepressants as a cop-out either.
Gotcha. It sounds like it just wasn't for you. What was the dose again?
Originally 150mg XL bumped up to 300mg XL.
I'd give it a day or two longer... But I experience the zaps after a couple of days. Maybe it's worse with Celexa than what you were on. But, after a couple of days, it was rough. The half-life of Celexa is about 46 hours. Not sure about yours...
Collete
Member
This.
Though side effects can deter some people off, it's still the equivalent of a diabetic taking insulin for his condition. It's the same with depression. It's not a cop out but more of a treatment of depression.
I was very fortunate to not have many side effects with my meds. I was nauseous when I very first started the Celexa. I did have some of the sexual side effects, but after switching from Celexa to Zoloft they have subsided.
I feel a lot better after switching to Zoloft and I don't have that zombie feel. Makes me realize that I really did have a chemical imbalance and the meds have helped correct it.
Hmm, I believe you guys are right. I just feel...numb nowadays. Like completely drained. Especially the way things are at home. Feels like I'm going through, but no one is listening to me. They think they all have the solution to my problems, when really, all I need right now is for someone to listen to me and let me know that what I say counts for something. I don't get that around here. It's draining and looms over every conversation I have with my family now. And then, when I don't write or read or do what I keep telling myself I'm going to do, it only gets worse.
Of course, it's easier to just say I'm lazy. lol
Collete
Member
You are indeed very lucky.
When I was prescribed Abilify by ignorant psychiatrists, I couldn't control my body and anything I touched hurt, my sensory system was just out of whack which made me burst into tears because it hurt so bad.
Still, glad everything worked out for you.
Also this thread put a smile on my face, I dunno if it will do the same for you but, it doesn't hurt to read.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=657157
ScottSullivan
Member
My wife is really struggling with her bi polar and PTSD. I feel trapped because I have to work so damn much to provide for us since she can't really work at the moment, and I know she feels trapped in the apartment all day.
She currently self medicates with marijuana and it helps for sure, we've tried traditional medications before but couldn't find anything that works and I can't afford a real psychiatrist who would actually know the right medications
I feel like I need to give her a new purpose in life, something to do during the day, school or a good job, but she has so many bad days it's tough to make anything happen
She currently self medicates with marijuana and it helps for sure, we've tried traditional medications before but couldn't find anything that works and I can't afford a real psychiatrist who would actually know the right medications
I feel like I need to give her a new purpose in life, something to do during the day, school or a good job, but she has so many bad days it's tough to make anything happen
I think these two things may be related. I know last year when I wasn't hearing back from jobs and had nothing to do it just compounded after a while. Keep trying your best to find something for her. Even the smallest things can help as a start. Hope you guys find something that helps.I feel like I need to give her a new purpose in life, something to do during the day, school or a good job, but she has so many bad days it's tough to make anything happen
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Six part series on stress management presented by Utah State University
I find it hard to agree with this. I see them as a way to maintain relative normality until actual normality can be reached. A diabetic has to take insulin to live and will do forever. I like to think that most of those needing antidepressants will one day step off that life raft and stand on dry ground. Of all the people I know on a personal level who have or do take ADs, only one lives with the prospect of being on them for life.
Cameron122
Member
I just don't relate to people. I have zero interest in what most people like to talk about. I wish I did :/
No one wants to feel lonely but putting things into perspective can help sometimes. Couples who love each other very much can still be miserable with their relationship at times, or miserable with themselves, regardless of having a significant other.
I know it's hard, but tying your depression to haves and have-nots can just get you in a cycle of never being satisfied with your current life state.
Thanks to everyone thanking me on surviving math in summer school. (Sorry, I'm too lazy to quote you all.) Sleeping over at my sister's tonight as I went with her earlier to get her new car. I guess I should be excited and happy for her now that she has her dream car, but I didn't and don't feel anything. Not even riding shotgun in it gave me the feel of "This is awesome", and it's not that it's an ugly or bad car or anything, it's really nice. Tried playing some Uncharted Golden Abyss and quit after like half an hour. No interest. I feel like a walking sack of apathy and disappointment right now.
Maybe it's because I was never taught how to be satisfied with myself? I was never told "Good job" or given positive feedback if I ever accomplished anything or did well in school. I told my mom about my 85 in math and she asked "So did anyone get 90 or above?" and gave me a look tha said "Why wasn't it you?" Before the exam, I told her my mark and she said "You'll do better next time," not "Good job" or "I'm proud of you" or anything. And having that happen my whole life has affected me. I'm never satisfied with myself. In school I was always pushing myself to do better the next time around. 98% on an essay? Not good enough, should have been 100. 100%? Meh. It seems so stupid, but it's really messed up how that's affected me. I feel like even more of a freak or outcast when I think about it. Don't know how to snap out of it. I feel so alone.
Maybe it's because I was never taught how to be satisfied with myself? I was never told "Good job" or given positive feedback if I ever accomplished anything or did well in school. I told my mom about my 85 in math and she asked "So did anyone get 90 or above?" and gave me a look tha said "Why wasn't it you?" Before the exam, I told her my mark and she said "You'll do better next time," not "Good job" or "I'm proud of you" or anything. And having that happen my whole life has affected me. I'm never satisfied with myself. In school I was always pushing myself to do better the next time around. 98% on an essay? Not good enough, should have been 100. 100%? Meh. It seems so stupid, but it's really messed up how that's affected me. I feel like even more of a freak or outcast when I think about it. Don't know how to snap out of it. I feel so alone.
whiterabbit
Member
I'm going to see a new psychologist tomorrow. I'm not really sure to talk about. Being lonely is normal in modern society for someone unemployed and living alone.
Parents with crazy expectations when it comes to school who make you feel like nothing will ever be good enough for them? Sounds familiar. It's the hardest thing in the world to snap out of, I know. Any little mess up means the world is falling apart and you're terrible - no matter how many times you've done good. It probably won't make you feel better - it sure as hell doesn't make me feel better when I think about my situation - but your folks are probably so fucking unsatisfied with their own lives and accomplishments that they have to live vicariously through you. The only advice I can give is what I'm trying to do: Get the hell away from them and support myself so that I'm not surrounded by their negativity. It's a huge goal that'll take years to accomplish, but god damn it we deserve it.
You did awesome, and I know you worked hard for it. No, your parents may never react the way you'd like, but you do have people here who are definitely proud of you.
revolverjgw
Member
That's a problem for me. Sometimes I'll think about jumping into a conversation just to "practice" socializing and ingratiate myself with my co-workers or neighbours or whoever, but then I realize I don't want to talk to them anyway.
Cameron122
Member
Life is just so arduous
Why does everything have to be so hard
Why am I looked down upon by people
Why do women treat me like a lap dog even though I'm not a codependent little shit anymore
Why are my goals so far away
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Why does everything have to be so hard
Why am I looked down upon by people
Why do women treat me like a lap dog even though I'm not a codependent little shit anymore
Why are my goals so far away
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
User 100115
Banned
I know everyone hates them, but this has been my 'current mood' song for awhile, just thought I'd share.
http://youtu.be/ZQjx9ZiVQvY
http://youtu.be/ZQjx9ZiVQvY
Cameron122
Member
User 100115
Banned
That's really beautiful. And the fireworky things are making me think this person has synesthesia, cause it's damned close.
Cameron122
Member
smokeandmirrors
Banned
god i'm lonely.
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
I'm currently too busy to feel lonely but it usually hits me whenever I take a day off.
Vermillion
Banned
Hah. Black families and mental disorders, brah.
Tell me about it. lol
Have you called your psychologist and told them about this? Maybe they agree with you that now is not the time. Or maybe not. Maybe now IS exactly the time to talk about your issues.
Collete
Member
My psychologist never picks up her damn phone, even if I didn't want to go, she wouldn't hear of it till like a week later...She's horrible at keeping up with her damn patients it seems...
So her (or a secretary) not picking up the phone has happened before? That's a major bummer. How did the first visit go? She left a good impression on you?
Collete
Member
Eh, she gave me general advice, stuff that I already know and tried for a period of time. I have a bad feeling about this. If second visit is shit, might just start out with a psychiatrist instead.
Edit: going to go now...I'll be back later and tell how it went....
Collete
Member
Well...To sum up what happened my therapist...She doesn't exactly understand technology in any form and basically right off the bat thinks I'm crazy for having online friends that I talk to.
Also pretty much told me to suck up about some things going in my life.
She pretty much told me what I already know...I just wasted $25 doing that.
Also contradicts herself: "Ok I won't nag you about X"
(10 minutes later)
"I'm going to nag you about X".
*sigh*
I'm really thinking I should just find a psychiatrist, she's pretty much full of crap to me.
Also pretty much told me to suck up about some things going in my life.
She pretty much told me what I already know...I just wasted $25 doing that.
Also contradicts herself: "Ok I won't nag you about X"
(10 minutes later)
"I'm going to nag you about X".
*sigh*
I'm really thinking I should just find a psychiatrist, she's pretty much full of crap to me.
Hmm, not quite what I was expecting today. The cancellation I picked up was with a cognitive therapist. And it turns out it was just an evaluation to see what kind of help will be best for me, whether it be a psychologist, or something else. Felt quite on the spot, but tried to give as much info as I could within that time, as well as emphasize on why a psychologist would be a good fit for me. Should hear back within a few weeks, hopefully it went okay and I do finally get the help I feel I really need.
DJ Lushious
Member
I'm rooting for you, Colin! And it sounds like you did what was best for you, by giving as much information as possible.
Best of luck.
I'm on the opposite side today, I was the one who got cancelled. Feels lousy, but then there was a large part of me that didn't want to go.
I hate those days where you're just trying to get ready in the shower and your brain decides it wants to stick on mistakes made in the past. You try to block it out with what you're doing currently, looking ahead to the plans made in the day, and it's a stubborn bastard about it.
That's the sign of a shitty therapist.
If I therapist every questioned me about the way I lived my life in such a way, or tell me to suck it up or something, that would be the last time I would do that. I already did it with one therapist. I was seeing a woman who I adored, but it seemed like it wasn't helping anymore. So I saw a new therapist here at the university. My impression of him was that he seemed a bit more fixated on why I was looking for a "second opinion" as opposed to staying with my therapist who he had high esteem for.
I told him at the end that I felt insulted by it. Didn't go back to him.
Out of Working Order
Member
I think I am heading down a dark, dark path here.
Everytime I go out, I realise I just don't fit in. Went out today to get a suit fitted for my brother's wedding later this year. That was awkward as hell and only made me feel worse about myself. But to the point - back on the busy shopping streets, the sounds and the crowds of people overwhelmed me. I just felt so... alien. Shoppers, people gathering around to watch a loud band banging on drums, couples walking hand in hand, students chattering away in their little groups, parents trying to control unruly kids - all just noise. I cannot relate to it all. I am socially awkward and can function well enough at work, but cannot cope outside of that 'safe zone'. I've never dated, and feel incapable of doing so at such a late stage of life (28). I am sure that ship has sailed well and truly by now, short of some absolute miracle.
I just applied for a new job as a postman, because I want some sort of change. But depression has taken a hold on me again, and after being initially excited about the prospect of a new job, just a couple of days later, I am wondering why I am doing it. What is the point? I have loving parents and a great brother, but I am truly miserable. I am a social outcast with little life experience (I don't even know how to deal with bank accounts), who never had fun through college or my early 20's with relationships/sex, never travelled or did all this great shit that everybody else - even those younger - seems to have done, and find myself without any passion for life. I have a hobby, but it's not enough - the pain of loneliness is unbearable.
I've been thinking of suicide for years, but I am finding it more and more inevitable as time goes by. My brother is getting married later this year and I am his best man, so it's going to be difficult to do a speech with such a thing on my mind. I just don't know what to do. I am too freakish to ever lead a normal healthy life, and people will reject me because I am a grown man with no life experience or skills with women. I am even awkward and uncomfortable around children because I've never had to interact with them within my family.
I don't think I have a future. I try to imagine a happy one, but I can't. I am not going to do anything now, because I don't want a suicide hanging over my brother's wedding, but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to go on after that's done and out of the way. Even if I get invited to an interview for the postman job, I might just let it go. I don't want it - I don't want to be here.
Everytime I go out, I realise I just don't fit in. Went out today to get a suit fitted for my brother's wedding later this year. That was awkward as hell and only made me feel worse about myself. But to the point - back on the busy shopping streets, the sounds and the crowds of people overwhelmed me. I just felt so... alien. Shoppers, people gathering around to watch a loud band banging on drums, couples walking hand in hand, students chattering away in their little groups, parents trying to control unruly kids - all just noise. I cannot relate to it all. I am socially awkward and can function well enough at work, but cannot cope outside of that 'safe zone'. I've never dated, and feel incapable of doing so at such a late stage of life (28). I am sure that ship has sailed well and truly by now, short of some absolute miracle.
I just applied for a new job as a postman, because I want some sort of change. But depression has taken a hold on me again, and after being initially excited about the prospect of a new job, just a couple of days later, I am wondering why I am doing it. What is the point? I have loving parents and a great brother, but I am truly miserable. I am a social outcast with little life experience (I don't even know how to deal with bank accounts), who never had fun through college or my early 20's with relationships/sex, never travelled or did all this great shit that everybody else - even those younger - seems to have done, and find myself without any passion for life. I have a hobby, but it's not enough - the pain of loneliness is unbearable.
I've been thinking of suicide for years, but I am finding it more and more inevitable as time goes by. My brother is getting married later this year and I am his best man, so it's going to be difficult to do a speech with such a thing on my mind. I just don't know what to do. I am too freakish to ever lead a normal healthy life, and people will reject me because I am a grown man with no life experience or skills with women. I am even awkward and uncomfortable around children because I've never had to interact with them within my family.
I don't think I have a future. I try to imagine a happy one, but I can't. I am not going to do anything now, because I don't want a suicide hanging over my brother's wedding, but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to go on after that's done and out of the way. Even if I get invited to an interview for the postman job, I might just let it go. I don't want it - I don't want to be here.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
to be honest, I'm in the same boat as you are (though more anxious than depressed I guess, although it's hard to make that distinction), and I'm about your age.
Dating sites are much friendlier than you (or I) think, though.
edit: and not a fan of suicide.
Dating sites are much friendlier than you (or I) think, though.
edit: and not a fan of suicide.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Post-modernism, so like Derrida, Foucault and all them?
I had to read that stuff for my English classes.
A good post modern writer is Percival Everett.
I had to read that stuff for my English classes.
A good post modern writer is Percival Everett.
Yeah also postmodern critics and academic stuff. I got really into postmodern blackness because I like hip hop. It's broadly applicable to anyone who feels like an outcast or descriminated
The Atticus
Member
I'm being obsessed with the thought that I am in love with one of my closest friends. This is a huge time and emotional sink, and has been going on for a few years now. Surely then it must be true?
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