Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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MisterLuffy
Member
Sorry Bagels, I've been so worked up on my problems that I didn't know you have a disease. I hope you get well soon.
Does anyone else just get those spells of feeling numb and lethargic? Been feeling like this for the past few days. Doing the things I like doing has made me feel very little, but the daily things that occur that I don't like irritates me slightly more. Social interaction is limited, and mostly online, and even those chats don't have me engaged as much. I will still follow what is said and add things here and there, but not invested enough to have any significant insight into anything. I even have some messages from a couple of people I know in person that I can't bring myself to reply to right now, because I know I will get nothing out of it. Just hope I can snap out of it soon, makes me feel like half of the person that I can be.
Yep... Those are bad days.
When I think back on it, I dunno if CBT worked for me.
I can go through all of the exercises, write down what I need to and understand the way I should think, but my emotions don't change. I'm too logical in that sense. It seems I have two separate parts of me controlling my being. I have my brain responsible for the logical part. It keeps me from doing stupid shit like throwing myself in front of cars, cutting myself, taking too many pills, etc. Then I have my heart and that is really the one that fucks me over all the time. That's where the depression comes from.
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I can go through all of the exercises, write down what I need to and understand the way I should think, but my emotions don't change. I'm too logical in that sense. It seems I have two separate parts of me controlling my being. I have my brain responsible for the logical part. It keeps me from doing stupid shit like throwing myself in front of cars, cutting myself, taking too many pills, etc. Then I have my heart and that is really the one that fucks me over all the time. That's where the depression comes from.
=/
does anyone have any tips for diplomatically telling people around you they're not helping so you don't feel like shit for calling them out
to give an example of the kind of thing i mean. i was having dinner with my parents and they were talking about how i should start a buisness using my experience as a carer with my dad. i know they were just trying to be nice and make conversation, but it made me feel useless. it's like, i'm so hopeless at the moment i can barely make myself do incredibly basic things how on earth am i going to get the energy to start a buisness. let's start with goals i can do now instead of overwhelming me with feelings of pressure. but i don't want to say that as i'll feel terrible for jumping on an innocuous, well meant comment and i know they'll get very defensive and i'll feel awful for even bringing it up, maybe even worse than just from mulling over the comment. yet i know that they are making me feel worse and aren't just a one-off so i don't want to just ignore it.
to give an example of the kind of thing i mean. i was having dinner with my parents and they were talking about how i should start a buisness using my experience as a carer with my dad. i know they were just trying to be nice and make conversation, but it made me feel useless. it's like, i'm so hopeless at the moment i can barely make myself do incredibly basic things how on earth am i going to get the energy to start a buisness. let's start with goals i can do now instead of overwhelming me with feelings of pressure. but i don't want to say that as i'll feel terrible for jumping on an innocuous, well meant comment and i know they'll get very defensive and i'll feel awful for even bringing it up, maybe even worse than just from mulling over the comment. yet i know that they are making me feel worse and aren't just a one-off so i don't want to just ignore it.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
5 or 10mg of Ambien tonight?
2mg of Alprazolam last night.
I don't want to feels anything unless it's tranquility.
2mg of Alprazolam last night.
I don't want to feels anything unless it's tranquility.
Lionheart1827
Member
You can tell them this, but in a different manner(if they know you have issues). Just say like "well with my basic issues I dont think I'd begin to be able to handle the pressures, responsibilities and stresses of starting and running a business." I dont know how your parents are but I'm sure they dont mean to make you feel that way, so try not to take it out on them.
Unless of course, your parents are terrible people.
@Bagels: wtf you have Lyme disease? Do you think it was from your Maine trip?
Take a deep breath and tell them in a calm and matter of fact voice. They'll judge you less on what you say and more on how you say it, so It's actually better to just tell them straight up that they're not helping you. It might lead to a further conversation, but as long as you stay calm they'll be ok. They're your parents, they're grown ups, they're not 2 year olds, you don't need to patronise them or mollycoddle them.
Hope you get well soon Bagels! My aunt had lyme disease so I kinda get how freaky it can be.
Anyways my random statement for the day: I think it's funny that I dream about some of you guys every now and then even though I'm not particularly close to anyone here. I follow this thread closely though hahaha...
Anyways my random statement for the day: I think it's funny that I dream about some of you guys every now and then even though I'm not particularly close to anyone here. I follow this thread closely though hahaha...
Awww thanks, Fiction! And I know what you mean - it's better to know what;s wrong, and to know it's treatable.
I had no bullseye rash that I saw. 80% of people will have them, but I either didn't, or it was on my scalp or something.
Try "Mind Over Mood" in the OP. That's a text they use in many hospitals and outpatient CBT groups. I quit like it.
Jeez - no worries! Saying I have a disease makes it sound like I'm dying. It's an infection from a tick bite. It sucks (you get these incredible joint pains - one just started, so I'm sitting here trying not to move) but I'll take antibiotics and get better.
Thanks for the well wishes. It suits my need to be wuvved and pampered when I'm sick.
So I woke up today (at 4pm) with cops and like news trucks all outside my house. Apparently there's been a string of break ins in on my street. The robbers would wait for old people to leave their house and then go in.
This has made my ocd and paranoia go fucking rampant today. I've often worried way too much about what to do for home security, and am scared of being blamed for things I didn't do. I'm sure some of you remember that night in chat when I was freaking out trying to decide if I should have my porch light on or off. Well when shit like this happens, it tells my brain that all those paranoid thoughts were justified. That they were good thoughts to have to prevent shit like this.
So now I can't stop thinking of this shit. I was making such progress too, but it feels like thats all out the window. Do I answer the phone when it rings, should I leave my lights on, should I walk infront of the window to show people someone's in here, will I somehow be blamed for these robberies, Should I stop my grandmother from sitting outside on the porch, should I answer the doorbell.. ahhh
I'm fucking calling people from my home phone and touching todays newspaper to get my prints on it to try and ensure an alibi. My mom has been home with me all day so she can verify I didn't go out, but I am still terrified they will blame me somehow. What if some of the cops outside my house looked in my window and saw something they thought was illegal and are setting up a bust right now?
I feel fucking crazy.
This has made my ocd and paranoia go fucking rampant today. I've often worried way too much about what to do for home security, and am scared of being blamed for things I didn't do. I'm sure some of you remember that night in chat when I was freaking out trying to decide if I should have my porch light on or off. Well when shit like this happens, it tells my brain that all those paranoid thoughts were justified. That they were good thoughts to have to prevent shit like this.
So now I can't stop thinking of this shit. I was making such progress too, but it feels like thats all out the window. Do I answer the phone when it rings, should I leave my lights on, should I walk infront of the window to show people someone's in here, will I somehow be blamed for these robberies, Should I stop my grandmother from sitting outside on the porch, should I answer the doorbell.. ahhh
I'm fucking calling people from my home phone and touching todays newspaper to get my prints on it to try and ensure an alibi. My mom has been home with me all day so she can verify I didn't go out, but I am still terrified they will blame me somehow. What if some of the cops outside my house looked in my window and saw something they thought was illegal and are setting up a bust right now?
I feel fucking crazy.
Thanks, I'll go to my doctor and see what he says. I'm afraid to suggest Wellbutrin though, he might not take me seriously because I'm just a patient.
User 100115
Banned
I think you are STILL making progress because you are recognizing that the thoughts are irrational. This will blow over, it's a test; and you will pass it as well as you have passed every math test in your life. Do they prescribe anti-anxiety medication for OCD?
Also, maybe it will help, but remember what I told you about me and forks? Maybe if you try to create something around this that means everything is fine, because of a specific reason, it will help some. Like, play some video games all day, that will give you an unneeded alibi AND distraction, right? And you aren't old or out of the house, so no break is going to occur, right? I hope I am not making things worse.
You aren't crazy, man. I <23 you, be kind to yourself and remember to breathe.
It's a very understandable thing to get stressed about but it is your OCD getting the best of you. No one is going to think you did anything. Dumb kids pull shit like that all the time. You didn't do anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about + someone was with you all day.
I've lived in some kinda crummy areas and I've always locked the doors and as long as it's not too hot, closed and put the locks on the windows when I'm out. Out of habit I usually lock the door behind me once I get home too.
Outside of those basic deterrants, I haven never had any real issues. Leaving the porch light on isn't a bad idea either.
Lionheart1827
Member
Like Fiction had said, you are definitely making progress because you're acknowledging the fact your fears are irrational. Just try to ride out the storm as best you can and the more you get through, the more insulated you become with it(even if its just a little each time). Try to find something that takes your mind off it, whether playing games on steam or a board game, or if you read, read!
And you're not crazy, its just a moment of weakness that got a little out of control, and it will blow over in time. We got your back Mike
In every path to recovery, there's going to be relapses, Mike. That's just the way it is. And I hesitate to call this a relapse because as many have pointed out, you're aware that your mind isn't functioning at its best right now. You're stronger than you think you are and you got this. >3
best wishes bagels.
yeah my parents are fine and they know i have issues.
thanks for the advice. it helped.
thanks to you too. i ended up doing this and it was okay. hopefully it'll help for the future.
You can tell them this, but in a different manner(if they know you have issues). Just say like "well with my basic issues I dont think I'd begin to be able to handle the pressures, responsibilities and stresses of starting and running a business." I dont know how your parents are but I'm sure they dont mean to make you feel that way, so try not to take it out on them.
Unless of course, your parents are terrible people.
yeah my parents are fine and they know i have issues.
thanks for the advice. it helped.
thanks to you too. i ended up doing this and it was okay. hopefully it'll help for the future.
Agent Cooper
Member
anger subsided, don't wanna talk about it anymore, lalala.
Song rec: Monster by Imagine Dragons
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous,
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because,
Everything I touch isn't dark enough,
If this problem lies in me.
Song rec: Monster by Imagine Dragons
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous,
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because,
Everything I touch isn't dark enough,
If this problem lies in me.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I love Depeche Mode and I love that song.
I can't wait to go to sleep tonight. I just want to go to bed. Thinking of taking 10mg of Ambien (which I heard is recommended dosage for males) so I can just go right to sleep. I don't feel like being awake the rest of the night and it's only 7pm.
Femmeworth
Banned
For fuck's sake, my father is still trying to micromanage be about school. I'm not going to work on anything, just to spite him. (Well, not really. Still, fuck him.)
It's really stressful/overwhelming when a family member means well and thinks they're doing what best for you. It can be really hard for family members to "get" when to just leave things be as they think they know you best and therefore what is always best for you.
I hope the two of you can somehow see eye-to-eye soon, or he can start to understand when to not interfere and just give you the time + space (or whatever you may) need.
Think I will be getting some sleep shortly myself. Another day of joy being a distant feeling, with aggravation and sadness being ever dominate. Wish I wasn't this way, wish it would just stop and I could live a regular, fulfilling life. If this is how things are going to be for the long term, then it doesn't feel worth going on for at all.
Your run of delightful songs continues Windam. I could definitely trust you with playlist making duties.
Your run of delightful songs continues Windam. I could definitely trust you with playlist making duties.
Femmeworth
Banned
Honestly, I think I understand his perspective more than he understands mine. I get his frustration, I do.It's really stressful/overwhelming when a family member means well and thinks they're doing what best for you. It can be really hard for family members to "get" when to just leave things be as they think they know you best and therefore what is always best for you.
I hope the two of you can somehow see eye-to-eye soon, or he can start to understand when to not interfere and just give you the time + space (or whatever you may) need.
I stopped taking my meds (effexor and adderall) cold turkey around 6+ weeks ago, maybe? Felt good after the withdrawal. Things felt reel and I was so full of incredible feelings and emotions. although I was super moody and emotionally everywhere, the good times at least felt real. I still am a roller coaster of emotion but I've evened out and now I'm incredibly depressed. I don't feel good, ever. What should I do? I can't think straight atm.
Take up an activity that completely consumes your thoughts. Be it reading, painting, playing video games, whatever. The key to emotional turbulence, in my experience, is to learn how to come back to a baseline. Whenever I get stressed out about life (often), I crack open a book or go on a jog. Sitting around and letting your mind run in circles is not the way to go about emotional stability.
This said, I also recommend a rough schedule for your day. Not only does it make you feel self-important (I have a coffee date with myself every morning at 8am, damnit), it prevents you from saying "Screw it, I'm going to sleep all day," or "Oh my god remember that time in 8th grade! That's an awful memory I'm going to relive for no apparent reason,".
Be present with whatever you're doing and don't let what you think others think have any bearing on how you act.
Ok this is my first time posting here. This seems like a thread for it.
I have what I believe is death anxiety. In short, I often feel my heart beating and sometimes it hurts a bit and I really don't like it.
Longer version, it started last year in December. Out of nowhere, I started having some breathing problems, which later disappeared right before I started feeling my heart beating. Now I got really scared and quickly went to see my doctor. Got an ECG which showed almost normal (basically nothing to worry about), but she still sent me to the cardiologist. Another ECG and ultrasound later, there was nothing wrong with me. They said its probably stress/anxiety. About a month later, it all stopped.
Forward to May-June this year (don't remember exactly), it returned again. Now this was around the time the school year was ending and I basically dropped out, so I was kinda worried what I was gonna do next year. This time it was worse, I had random pain all over my chest area. Some for just few hours, some for few days, but it all went away quickly. This lasted maybe 2 weeks or so. Around the same time, I had some pain elsewhere in my body and was diagnosed with something not that serious. But I thought its gonna be something worse. That definitely didn't help.
Then in mid September (I went on vacation on 6th, still (t)here) I started feeling my heart again. Its the worse at night before I go to sleep, but its sometimes pretty bad during the day. Its like my heart sometimes feels heavy or tickles a bit. I don't have any pain there, but its certainly uncomfortable. Theres a weird feeling right below the heart on the left side at the end of ribcage occasionally too, but that doesn't bother me as much.
Now the first two times, I kinda understand that I was really stressed, but this time its different. I enrolled in college and am eager to start (October 1st for me), so I'm not worried about that. It might be that I am concerned about my health/life. First of all, I really hate feeling my heart. I'm scared of having a heart attack or a stroke. That along with my semi-fear of flying (I've flown 7 times this month already, 2 more flights tomorrow. I know its safe and I've flown over hundred times, but I guess its hard to convince myself) is I'm guessing the cause of my anxiety, which in turn actually is the reason this is happening. Now flying I don't really think about at all except right before it and even thinking about it now, it doesn't scare me at all, but my heart/weird inner feeling/pain is a different story. Its all kind of like a catch-22.
As I have written, I did see a doctor and several people in my life know all about it. but writing it all here helps me calm down a bit. I'm also not depressed or anything like that. Quite the opposite actually, I enjoy living. I'm just scared of dying. I try to not think about my problems, but its really hard. Even if I do other things, a single heart beat felt is enough to make me worry again.
I have what I believe is death anxiety. In short, I often feel my heart beating and sometimes it hurts a bit and I really don't like it.
Longer version, it started last year in December. Out of nowhere, I started having some breathing problems, which later disappeared right before I started feeling my heart beating. Now I got really scared and quickly went to see my doctor. Got an ECG which showed almost normal (basically nothing to worry about), but she still sent me to the cardiologist. Another ECG and ultrasound later, there was nothing wrong with me. They said its probably stress/anxiety. About a month later, it all stopped.
Forward to May-June this year (don't remember exactly), it returned again. Now this was around the time the school year was ending and I basically dropped out, so I was kinda worried what I was gonna do next year. This time it was worse, I had random pain all over my chest area. Some for just few hours, some for few days, but it all went away quickly. This lasted maybe 2 weeks or so. Around the same time, I had some pain elsewhere in my body and was diagnosed with something not that serious. But I thought its gonna be something worse. That definitely didn't help.
Then in mid September (I went on vacation on 6th, still (t)here) I started feeling my heart again. Its the worse at night before I go to sleep, but its sometimes pretty bad during the day. Its like my heart sometimes feels heavy or tickles a bit. I don't have any pain there, but its certainly uncomfortable. Theres a weird feeling right below the heart on the left side at the end of ribcage occasionally too, but that doesn't bother me as much.
Now the first two times, I kinda understand that I was really stressed, but this time its different. I enrolled in college and am eager to start (October 1st for me), so I'm not worried about that. It might be that I am concerned about my health/life. First of all, I really hate feeling my heart. I'm scared of having a heart attack or a stroke. That along with my semi-fear of flying (I've flown 7 times this month already, 2 more flights tomorrow. I know its safe and I've flown over hundred times, but I guess its hard to convince myself) is I'm guessing the cause of my anxiety, which in turn actually is the reason this is happening. Now flying I don't really think about at all except right before it and even thinking about it now, it doesn't scare me at all, but my heart/weird inner feeling/pain is a different story. Its all kind of like a catch-22.
As I have written, I did see a doctor and several people in my life know all about it. but writing it all here helps me calm down a bit. I'm also not depressed or anything like that. Quite the opposite actually, I enjoy living. I'm just scared of dying. I try to not think about my problems, but its really hard. Even if I do other things, a single heart beat felt is enough to make me worry again.
Thanks. I should take up mindfulness meditation again. It really helped. I need to keep to my schedule. Work and school help. I go out a ton too with friends but I get emtionally tired and cold and withdrawn halfway while hanging out. I've told some of them that I'm not myself atm. What hurts is that I feel like I'm slowly letting it affect my self esteem. They were just feels but now it's manifesting my thoughts and making it very hard to connect with people.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
5mg of Ambien last night again.
Did NOTHING for me. Guess I'll need to take two next time.
Did NOTHING for me. Guess I'll need to take two next time.
Anyone have success with anti-anxiety meds? Any symptoms that make them a questionable choice?
Since I started working I find that my nerves are constantly shot and I get micro panic episodes. I find I have been reacting by eating compulsively again and it is throwing a wrench in my diet and exercise routine I have been working on.
I am currently seeing what doctors are on my insurance plan but wanted to read up on it first.
Since I started working I find that my nerves are constantly shot and I get micro panic episodes. I find I have been reacting by eating compulsively again and it is throwing a wrench in my diet and exercise routine I have been working on.
I am currently seeing what doctors are on my insurance plan but wanted to read up on it first.
Taking 40mg of paroxetine (aka Paxil) a day myself for major depression/anxiety. Stuff works pretty great and the only side-effect that I have (or notice) is having a bit of trouble reaching an orgasm. But what, if any, side-effects you get really differs from person to person. I personally think it is worth it for not crawling into a corner and crying/shouting all the time.
Buspar (Buspirone) totally changed my life. Other than a slight cloudiness it gives me no side effects - though for other people it can cause dizzy spells. I take 45mg / day.
I used to have stomach cramps or indigestion almost every day from severe anxiety. My anxiety still flares up now and then but it's worlds better.
Femmeworth
Banned
I'm on Buspar too. It helps, but I think I need to take it more frequently during the day. Definitely doesn't hold up during significant duress.
Does your closet has extra-space? Because I really feel like joining you inside.
*sigh* I'll get straight to the point: I'm feeling depressed because of several things lately, and my sexuality is one of these things. Sometimes I'm 100% OK with who I am, but other times I really wish I could be heterosexual, just to make my life easier. The guys I met so far were manipulative douches who would jump on the first occasion to guilt trip me into doing what they want, and an other one who flirted with me flat out lied to me about being HIV-positive (and judging by his behavior and lies, he really wasn't planning to tell me that ~~ or that he already had a jealous boyfriend either, for that matter). Not to mention I'm pretty sure one of these guys is responsible for vandalizing my car - several times. I slept with a golf club under my bed for weeks, just in case he decided that the car wasn't enough.
So I kinda lost faith. I'm not expecting to meet a nice guy anytime soon. I know I shouldn't put everyone in the same basket, but really at this point I'm past hoping for a normal and healthy relationship. And even those who seem nice at first have some dark secrets which are real deal-breakers for me. And there is the HIV, something which scares me a lot.
In short: I'm sick of being lied to and used, I don't want to end up all alone with my cats feeding off my corpse but I'm now unable to trust guys at all so there is no way I will give anyone else a chance, and I really need a hug right now.
I want to reply to a bunch of stuff and be helpful, but Lyme disease is the fucking worst and the antibiotic makes you feel like crap and I'm tired and miserable and everything is the worst ever and I either want to be put out of my misery OR put to bed after some ice cream (depending on flavor availability).
Femmeworth
Banned
I agree 100% and
And no kinda lost faith with me.I have completely lost faith in the gay community. Bunch of wankers.
ThisWreckage
Banned
My doctor placed me on wellbutrin and it has been a disaster. I am having massive mood swings, I'm constantly angry, and I feel worse than before. I absolutely refuse to take any SSRIs so this short experiment with antidepressants was short lived and it's now completely dead.
Femmeworth
Banned
ThisWreckage
Banned
Sexual side effects are widespread. My own doctor even said that he doesn't like to prescribe them unless he feels like they're absolutely necessary. Dependency is very high. It's not something I want to get involved with whatsoever. Read about the widespread side effects. I would rather be miserable, to be frank.
I take an SNRI and haven't had any sexual side effects. Ever considered asking about that? If find it helps with anxiety, depression, irritability and general negative moods.
Femmeworth
Banned
Mind you I'm not a doctor, but that seems really overblown. Wellbutrin is also a stimulant, which could partly explain your bad reaction.
If you are so paranoid about even SSRIs, you might as well stay away from psych meds altogether.
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