I'm not sure if I should go into therapy or whatever because I just think I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to someone about all this. I actually wrote a short story two years ago for my Grade 12 English final project about a guy who went through similar experiences as me and in the end committed suicide, and my teacher picked up on it and actually asked the VP to talk to me about whether I'm suicidal. And even though I am/was, and, now that I think about, had a nice opportunity to finally maybe do something about these thoughts, my immediate response was to just tell her I'm fine and the story was not a reflection of my life. :/
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
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I reckon this is quite common. In cases like this, people should be probably pushed a bit more, carefully.
Would you have told more if they had asked a bit more often, more insistently instead of dropping the matter?
I know i'd probably talk if someone were to do that, though i also reckon i'd resent it for a long time afterward (the above-mentioned "meddling/interfering" thing).
Even less i'm going to do that. If i were living alone, sure, i'd probably do it. And would go to walks more often (i've noticed i'm more likely to got for a walk i'm alone).
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Drugs and therapy are very safe forms of combating depression. It is not like drinking alcohol or recreational drugs. If you were a diabetic or an asthmatic you would use the drugs wouldn't you?
Try and get yourself to a therapist on campus or something. It is hard to take that first step. I waited almost a year when it got really bad and that was time I lost and wish I'd go see them sooner.
Cameron122
Member
I'm talking to a girl that I think is quite cool. She has a child though. I dunno. Is it wrong to have reservations or am I just making excuses for myself because of my fear of failure/rejection?
Therapy, sure. Drugs, yeah, no. I don't trust them, specifically what kind of side-effects they may have. Not without a second opinion at least. And a third if possible.
Let's just say i don't trust people easily (that happens when you're bullied and no one who promises to do something about it actually does something about it), and that includes pretty much everyone. Not paranoid about others, just don't trust them easily, authorities of any sort especially.
EDIT not sure if that and avoiding drugs are related, probably not directly anyway. Trust issues are probably a side-effect and/or a cause for my depression though.
As for getting to see a therapist, relatively easy. Dropped out of high-school some years ago, can finish it and i can see the school's therapist, most likely. Or someone who can send me to one. Once i get there, i will have enough resolve to get to see a therapist.
Getting started again with the school is the hardest part, especially since i know pretty much the only things i need to re-do/do at all are math and languages, two things i dislike a lot (even though i'm interested in both, in a way).
ClassyPenguin
Banned
The side effect issue is overblown and when considering the side effects on untreated issues, it seems moot. A psychiatrist will help calm down those fears.
I think so, maybe. I mean, I'm already really quiet and shy around people I don't know, and this was my first time talking to VP. So I was already feeling uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there. And it seemed more like she was just doing her duty as the VP, rather than being someone who genuinely cared about what I was thinking. I definitely wasn't about to talk to her about these things. It was really just: "So, you wrote a story where the main character kills himself. Are you suicidal?" "Oh, no, of course not." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure, definitely." "OK, good to hear. You may go."
Femmeworth
Banned
Exercise doesn't really make me feel better, just tires me out. At least that is the immediate effect, though I haven't had a routine in two+ years now.
Perhaps. Though as i said, i probably won't trust what they say. Or at very least i don't want to.
But this is something i'll think more closely when, if it will be more relevant. First things first.
As i understand it, it won't start having effect right away, only after a while. If it has any.
Not breathing hard anymore but i'm feeling awful and tired. Of course my run was more like a quick sprint instead of a proper exercise.
Collete
Member
I.... uh, well, so.....
nevermind
Happy birthday Femmeworth as well!
Man, lotsa bdays around this time eh.
Oh geez. New page huh. Well in the spirit of Collete's page 100 'Oh shit, here's cats' (which was lol), here's a not so lol, maybe, pic from a recent road trip. Very lucky to have had this view from the front damn door of the accommodation.
Haha, you still remember the cats thing.
Oooo nice picture, it's beautiful!
I like this 111 page milestone thing!
Also I have no idea who's birthday I missed but happy birthday everyone!
Edit: Hey this got me thinking....Why don't we post random things that make you feel good on the first post of every 10 pages?
And for an actual number milestone like 125/150/200, etc we can post a bunch of random things and make a monster post about it...
It's a good break in pace of depressing posts and it helps put a smile on people's faces, even for a moment.
Thoughts/feedback?
User 100115
Banned
I guess that depends on if you think it could be something serious or not. Don't pressure yourself into anything either way. If you have reservations, you have reservations. Follow what feels right
And women with children are cool!
Were I not married, I would be stalking you and your awesome hair more than I already do.
That is an excellent idea.
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now just really defines me at the moment. I was looking for a job, and now I have one. I'm possibly worse off than before, however, since the job is so soul sucking. I'm an over the phone survey person working at a call centre... Yeah. I think I fit the bill of stereotypical depressed person with no friends, miserable job, miserable home life, and lackluster performance in everything else. Only good thing about my job is that it's downtown in a very high-end area (Louis Vuitton, Hugo Boss, Dolce and Gabbana, Burberry and a shitload of other high-end designer stores literally just down the street) so I get to see all the successful people in their fancy clothes and cars shopping and imagine how nice it must be.
Lionheart1827
Member
I.... uh, well, so.....
nevermind
Happy birthday Femmeworth as well!
Man, lotsa bdays around this time eh.
Oh geez. New page huh. Well in the spirit of Collete's page 100 'Oh shit, here's cats' (which was lol), here's a not so lol, maybe, pic from a recent road trip. Very lucky to have had this view from the front damn door of the accommodation.
Is that Mt Doom?
I dont think that should throw you off if you like her.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
Collete
Member
I scratched someone's bumper...
He seemed pissed at me..
It sucked...i couldn't help break down while the guy took my insurance information and the wife was patting me on the back while i cried...it felt horrible cause his kid was there watching me....
dad's going to kill me...fuck everything....
He seemed pissed at me..
It sucked...i couldn't help break down while the guy took my insurance information and the wife was patting me on the back while i cried...it felt horrible cause his kid was there watching me....
dad's going to kill me...fuck everything....
Femmeworth
Banned
I don't think I could survive an encounter like that.
Edit: Oh god, my dad is trying to be overly positive. He put a sign on a hat to effect of "[my name]'s positivity coach." Save me.
Edit: Oh god, my dad is trying to be overly positive. He put a sign on a hat to effect of "[my name]'s positivity coach." Save me.
No Bobby.. And I go there too hehe..
I feel like I might be on some sort of vaguely hypomanic kick.
I reactivated my Facebook just so I can translate things into japanese and post them on people's walls.
I suppose all I can do is wait and see if I crash.
Sort of messed up that whenever I feel good I assume it means something is wrong.
In the mean time, something about this Louis CK clip really resonated with me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
I reactivated my Facebook just so I can translate things into japanese and post them on people's walls.
I suppose all I can do is wait and see if I crash.
Sort of messed up that whenever I feel good I assume it means something is wrong.
In the mean time, something about this Louis CK clip really resonated with me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
Happy birthday to Pau and Femmeworth!
My head is incredibly clouded at the moment, and as with you I'm not at all sure where I should start with it all. It's a mess, and just thinking about it is akin to thinking about the universe to me. I was a little disheartened when I saw a guy who was a year below me in college do so much better than me in life. He works at the company I've tried to get into, good looks, a girlfriend, and he's recently been doing the online animation course I mentioned before and had his work featured on their Facebook page. He's a year younger, and he's come so much further in life than me already. Luckily for him he doesn't have to deal with the mental barriers I have to deal with, but I do wish him well regardless. It's just jealously is reaking it's ugly head, but that's very common with me and people nowadays.
This whole weekend I've done absolutely nothing, and now the Sunday blues are kicking in and it's time to start the work week once again. I've had enough of this routine, it's absolutely destroying me. I'm really not helping the situation I'm stuck in, and I'm not quite show how to get out of it.
In other news I was meant to go on a double date last night, but that sadly never happened. I was looking forward to it, and my mate was trying to set me up with one of his friends, but she had to bail at the last minute. Even if nothing would've come from it, it still would've been good to meet new people.
Anyway I'm sorry I only come in here every now and again, I feel rude for doing so. I just need to vent it all out, and hopefully learn how to deal with it.
I'm really hoping it'll do me good! Either way it should be a lot of fun. It'll certainly help instil some independence into me, and it'll be a warmup for when I hopefully travel in a few years.
My head is incredibly clouded at the moment, and as with you I'm not at all sure where I should start with it all. It's a mess, and just thinking about it is akin to thinking about the universe to me. I was a little disheartened when I saw a guy who was a year below me in college do so much better than me in life. He works at the company I've tried to get into, good looks, a girlfriend, and he's recently been doing the online animation course I mentioned before and had his work featured on their Facebook page. He's a year younger, and he's come so much further in life than me already. Luckily for him he doesn't have to deal with the mental barriers I have to deal with, but I do wish him well regardless. It's just jealously is reaking it's ugly head, but that's very common with me and people nowadays.
This whole weekend I've done absolutely nothing, and now the Sunday blues are kicking in and it's time to start the work week once again. I've had enough of this routine, it's absolutely destroying me. I'm really not helping the situation I'm stuck in, and I'm not quite show how to get out of it.
In other news I was meant to go on a double date last night, but that sadly never happened. I was looking forward to it, and my mate was trying to set me up with one of his friends, but she had to bail at the last minute. Even if nothing would've come from it, it still would've been good to meet new people.
Anyway I'm sorry I only come in here every now and again, I feel rude for doing so. I just need to vent it all out, and hopefully learn how to deal with it.
Haha man, my jealousy only got worse as soon as I was older than some of the best players in the pro sports I watch.
So much of life and what is perceived by peers as successes come from being comfortable with yourself. At least I'm starting to find personally. For me, traveling really has opened me up to being comfortable with myself, not second guessing every single decision made and just living and experiencing. That's why I say it should do you good as well.
It can be a bummer to see people be much more successful at this stage in life, but honestly just try to take the best you can out of it. That it is possible to make something at this age. Don't get hung up about what people have that you don't and the thought of "why can't I have that?" Stay proactive in doing things you enjoy. I know you enjoy animation, give yourself a project to do, maybe say by each Sunday. That will give you something to think about other than work during the week and will hone your skills for what you're passionate about. So much smaller scale, but I've continued this stupid music blog and we'll see where it goes. Once I'm back home I think I may add a podcast component to it. Motivation and all that.
@Humbugs that's rough man. Hope things turn out for the better in the few days/weeks there. Today I was told by my dad "You really need therapy you know that?" no fucking shit I do.
Speaking of dads, Femmeworth that is pretty cute/awesome of him, unless it's in an entirely sarcastic way. Given that you guys had a big fight if that's his "let's hug it out" moment that's pretty great.
Collete as awful as it feels to make a mistake like that, it could have been so much worse. Be thankful no one is hurt, and fortunately it's just a material possession which won't be remembered in years to come. Things haven't been the best for ya but just put on your favorite tunes, burn some fools in TF2 and then paint
PAINT!
seriously though the paintings are cool.
long as fuck post but I want to say I wish I could have an evening in a booth at the back corner of a bar with a bunch of you.
So much of life and what is perceived by peers as successes come from being comfortable with yourself. At least I'm starting to find personally. For me, traveling really has opened me up to being comfortable with myself, not second guessing every single decision made and just living and experiencing. That's why I say it should do you good as well.
It can be a bummer to see people be much more successful at this stage in life, but honestly just try to take the best you can out of it. That it is possible to make something at this age. Don't get hung up about what people have that you don't and the thought of "why can't I have that?" Stay proactive in doing things you enjoy. I know you enjoy animation, give yourself a project to do, maybe say by each Sunday. That will give you something to think about other than work during the week and will hone your skills for what you're passionate about. So much smaller scale, but I've continued this stupid music blog and we'll see where it goes. Once I'm back home I think I may add a podcast component to it. Motivation and all that.
@Humbugs that's rough man. Hope things turn out for the better in the few days/weeks there. Today I was told by my dad "You really need therapy you know that?" no fucking shit I do.
Speaking of dads, Femmeworth that is pretty cute/awesome of him, unless it's in an entirely sarcastic way. Given that you guys had a big fight if that's his "let's hug it out" moment that's pretty great.
Collete as awful as it feels to make a mistake like that, it could have been so much worse. Be thankful no one is hurt, and fortunately it's just a material possession which won't be remembered in years to come. Things haven't been the best for ya but just put on your favorite tunes, burn some fools in TF2 and then paint
PAINT!
seriously though the paintings are cool.long as fuck post but I want to say I wish I could have an evening in a booth at the back corner of a bar with a bunch of you.
You should stop calling her Oomi, otherwise I agree.
Femmeworth
Banned
It makes me really anxious. As much as he might like to be, he can't be my therapist which he tries to be at times.Speaking of dads, Femmeworth that is pretty cute/awesome of him, unless it's in an entirely sarcastic way. Given that you guys had a big fight if that's his "let's hug it out" moment that's pretty great.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Got back from a much needed getaway with friends in Laughlin. Got drunk one night with my friend here in Vegas and then two nights in a row in Laughlin with his girlfriend and another girl, his girlfriend's friend. I needed something like that SO fucking bad. One week from today is my birthday so going back out again, but only locally of course. Had such a great time, especially on Friday. My friend's girlfriend's friend got into a fight with another girl over underwear or whatever. It came to wrestling on the ground with my friend trying to block the girl and stop her from hitting his girlfriend's friend. Yeah, it was crazy and everyone was drunk. About a half dozen security guards showed up and fortunately nobody was arrested or fined. One of the guards was even laughing about the situation. lol.
I suppose it's normal to feel really depressed and lonely after coming home from a great vacation. I wish we could have all stayed another day or two. I suppose the good side of it all is that I have my birthday a week from now to look forward to.
I suppose it's normal to feel really depressed and lonely after coming home from a great vacation. I wish we could have all stayed another day or two. I suppose the good side of it all is that I have my birthday a week from now to look forward to.
Agent Cooper
Member
Every call I get from my mom stresses me out and makes me feel guilty. I get it. I'm a jobless, anxiety-ridden loser. Please stop mentioning it everytime we talk.
Every passive-aggressive text I get from my dad pisses me off. I moved to Texas to try and get away from your pseudo-caring-parenting bullshit. I don't need it adding onto the stress.
If I had a job I wouldn't hear shit.
Or I would, about something else.
Every passive-aggressive text I get from my dad pisses me off. I moved to Texas to try and get away from your pseudo-caring-parenting bullshit. I don't need it adding onto the stress.
If I had a job I wouldn't hear shit.
Or I would, about something else.
I'm 3 weeks into the semester and it's been going really well so far. I've been getting kind of anxious today though. I had a paper due at 5pm that I started this morning and turned in. Now I have to start studying for my first genetics test that I need an A on, but for some reason I'm thinking about dumb shit, how I think x person/people don't want me around or whatever, guilting myself about stuff from the past.
I'll start studying soon, but I wish I could keep myself from thinking this shit. It's counterproductive in more ways than one.
I'll start studying soon, but I wish I could keep myself from thinking this shit. It's counterproductive in more ways than one.
I don't want to be alive anymore... I feel like I'm going to just implode.
Edit: Also, has anyone ever had dreams where they've been suicidal? It's been happening to me nightly now for about two weeks, and it always feel so real. It's all the more draining when I get suicidal when I am awake.
Edit: Also, has anyone ever had dreams where they've been suicidal? It's been happening to me nightly now for about two weeks, and it always feel so real. It's all the more draining when I get suicidal when I am awake.
Femmeworth
Banned
Ooh, which part of Texas are you in?
I'm a bit anxious and nervous. My therapist will be on mat leave so I won't get to see her again until January. Now she's given me a couple of names if I need it and she will do a phone session if necessary. And I have been doing better but I fear that that I'm going lose all the progress I've done.
Femmeworth
Banned
Definitely see one of the people she recommended or do the phone sessions.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Virtual hug for all oh ya's.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I feel so bummed out, depressed and lonely right now and I guess it's because I already miss the great time I had this weekend. But, I also think it's because I realize I am alone. I have no girlfriend to spend time with and being around a friend and his girlfriend (and even her friend who came with us has a boyfriend) it makes me realize how alone I am.
Don't get me wrong. I had an absolute blast the last few days and more than anything, I wish it could've lasted longer but I guess it also makes me realize I have no significant other to spend those times with and how good it feels.
Don't get me wrong. I had an absolute blast the last few days and more than anything, I wish it could've lasted longer but I guess it also makes me realize I have no significant other to spend those times with and how good it feels.
eddfromtheriver
Banned
lol!, sorry buddy, but i find it sweet... and at the same time i feel for you. Hey at least they care!!!, cheer up!!!
eddfromtheriver
Banned
Daaw... how lovely!!!, a kitten typing things in japanese on people's FB acccounts.
MisterLuffy
Member
I just finished my midterm today. It took me three days to finish it, sigh. I bet other students finished it like in two or even one day. Even though I know some of the answers or what the questions were asking, I didn't know how to answer them in my own words. I'm not confident with my answers because of my wording sucks. I couldn't come up with words to express my answers.
. eddfromtheriver
Banned
I don't wanna die... but i hate the fact that i'm living... i wish this accident never existed.
I wish someone knew the real me, that someone knew my deepest fears... that someone cared... that someone (i loved back) loved me...
I wish someone knew the real me, that someone knew my deepest fears... that someone cared... that someone (i loved back) loved me...
That may be true, but at least he is understanding and accepting of it. It could be so much worse, where they don't understand or relate and get pissed at you for it.
Chin up, Dark. Fill this void for yourself as best you can, love yourself and someone will chime in with that before you know it.
Femmeworth
Banned
Well, that's kind of what happened on Saturday.
You should make an appearance in the IRC chat sometime. Usually has a number of people active, so you get a number of good insights, not just the one. You can try it by clicking the "click to chat" image in the OP. Above that is also a contact list, if you prefer just one on one time.
Definitely. That is the set up here with my entire family. They don't get pissed off, but they really don't get it either. Feels like they have just accepted it with a "spare me the details" approach. Even when I do explain some things, that information will rarely "stick" and be remembered and put to use, so I usually don't see the point. Having a social outlet in the flesh for these things would be nice to have at times.
Yeaaah I kind of figured, but this shows progress in that already, which is a lot more than can be said for others.
The IRC is always open. And you can PM me (or any of the others listed in the OP) any time you want if you want to get something of your chest.
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