Sober, I remembered too late about your first post in the thread. I wanted to answer at the time but then I got distracted by other things.
I made a huge mistake ;D
Thanks for the video, I got a good laugh out of that.
I don't want to sound like I'm defending her or that I'm trying too hard (I might be) but I feel like the situation is complicated, even though I guess for most people labeling a situation like this as 'complicated' means abandon ship. But I don't think she's playing me or playing mindgames with me since she always seems up to hanging out almost from the second I suggest something to do.
-So she was off birth control, got back on but she's still in the midst of it so she doesn't have much of a sex drive.
-I'm actually a virgin (sound the alarm) even though I pretty much got as far as I guess you can go given the circumstances (with her)
-so I'm basically fucking new to any type of relationship PERIOD so I'm kinda learning as I go along, so I'm not exactly too smart about when to and when not to do whatever
-we still have tons of fun hanging out even if it goes nowhere but I keep making it awkward because I am trying while the above is going on
You didn't sound anxious about the relationship in your post, so I assumed you were used to FWB situations.
Since it's your first experience calling her out on her behaviour may be too much of a stretch. I'd say keep doing what you are doing and learn everything you can from this experience with a clear head. A first experience/relationship shouldn't be dissected like I did. You are right it in enjoying for what it is.
As for not wanting to fuck it up, at best I can tell you a couple of impressions I have on her after reading your previous posts.
First, huge props on not complaining about her seeing other men. I don't know if I'll make things better or worst by telling you this but: 99% of the men she talks about are pure fiction. There may be
one she is also seeing, at best. I've never seen or heard about a girl having more then one FWB at a time, except when maybe she has an ex-boyfriend, a FB and a guy she is "monitoring" to assess if he's going to be fit for a relationship or not. The thing is that simply girls in FWB like to keep testing you on your behaviour, to see if you are really not threatened by the presence of other men in her life or if you are hiding your jealousy because you prefer to be number 2 or 3 rather then not having a relationship at all. So cheers, I've seen older and more experienced men then you with less character to show.
Then about the birth control and the gyno telling her to restrain from sex: this is also major BS. She is telling you this and restricting herself to oral sex because she is hesitant about you and she hasn't figured you out (yet). Despite what she says, this girl has A LOT of sex drive and she is trying to controlling it by "just" giving bjs, to control you.
-she doesn't have a phone (got it stolen, can't afford another one right away) or really any reliable way to keep in touch with her so I can't do anything small like just send a text out of the blue or whatever or arrange anything in anything with less than maybe 5 days notice.
I fear this girl may be coming out of a relationship (already or soon) and she is keeping her options open telling you this bullcrap of the stolen phone. Try some experiment at her expense: do send her a message. Don't tell her anything about it, then see how she reacts. If she flips about it and calls you out on it, tell her you forgot she told you her phone was broken. If she hasn't given you her phone number, then I'm 100% sure she is playing games...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, since it doesn't look like it affects you, but it's still something to keep in mind for future reference.
-I'm really fucking poor at having anything interesting to talk about, or maybe I'm trying to avoid certain topics because they're gaming related (even if she is a bit of a gamer), which results in her doing most of the talking (I also have no good stories).
This IMO is not a problem. If you think that's the natural flow of a conversation, then that's how relationships are for you and there's nothing wrong. Don't feel like you have to put in hours of talking just because. If you would like to talk more though, and have her listening more, simply do it. Don't stress too much about being interesting, that's how people end up getting called try-hards. She is having sex with you because she is interested in you, which makes you interesting by definition.
-My plan on trying to "hang out" more often to get more chances doesn't seem to be working, that plus my well is running dry on things to talk about in the meantime. That plus maybe I should try to cool it since I feel like I've turned the creep on by not really having much social graces about anything. If you really want specifics PM me.
I think her hesitation comes from the fact that you are not threatened by other men, which means you are not needy, but that at the same time you want to be with her (doesn't matter under which label) and you want sex, which she feels is needy. So next time she tries to guilt-trip you for showing physical affection, use this line: "you want me to feel bad...because I like you?!
"
Deliver this with a genuine laugh at her expense and I guarantee you not even the girl with the lowest self-esteem will be able to keep fighting you off like that ;D Get her on your lap and keep tickling her, put your head to rest on her chest, pinch her out of the blue, then if she stars complaining again you tell her "hey! no sex, I promised" and you start undressing her and you go for it.
One last thing: as someone who's been around japanese, vietnamese and chinese guys living abroad (I'm in Italy), I would advise you to keep in mind that westerners don't understand strength in character in the same way that Asians do. It may be one of the reasons why she can't figure you out.
There are meet ups like Drink & Draw that can be really fun and they'll be plenty of people going alone to stuff like that.