Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

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Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
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That's not cute or clever. That's creepy as shit.
 
Pau said:
You mean outside of elementary school? :P

More serious answer: No, but I've been on a date (well, in his mind) with a guy who thought that "I was so surprised that was you in that picture! You actually looked pretty!" was some form of compliment.

There's a definite difference between flirting and teasing, which can be really fun, and being mean, which is the opposite of fun. Some people have no idea how to toe that line though.
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Just thought I'd ask because I knew a girl like this when I was nearly done with my first year of college. Normally I would've just guessed that she was bipolar or having a bad day or something along those lines but she seemed to be doing it deliberately, and likely just switched back because she realized that it wasn't working. By that time I was pretty tired of her bullshit though. I think it's a safe bet that the only reason I attract crazy is because I act kind of weird myself.
 
Mr.Fresh said:
It was hard for me to do this about 2 years ago too. Try watching these videos on you tube the helped me a lot.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZlZryEKdXE&feature=plpp

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzrc8fZISDo

I used to be shy and everything a few years back but watching them really helped me.
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Watched em', helped me snap back into myself today, talked to three girls and held three good conversations. One girl was ultra-religious and the next two already had boyfriends already. Oh well.

Either way, I am myself again, and it feels great! I completely forgot that I already knew how to approach a girl, hold a good conversation, and ask her out during. Shame about the boyfriend/religious thing though.
 
MacGurcules said:
I've got several friends who are happily married to people that they share almost no interests with. I suspect other folks here could relate similar examples. So that's not necessarily something that's going to ruin it.

But it does sound like you've got some fairly serious problems communicating. It takes two people to make a relationship and if you're not willing to share your thoughts and feelings on the matter with her, it's not going to work. I know you think you're sparing her the worry about it by not including her. But regardless, you won't be sparing her any of the consequences. If you just carry it all inside and never tell her anything, you'll just eventually resent her and she'll understand even less when you blow up some day and suddenly cut things off.

Talk to her. If you've got a good thing, she'll want to help make it work. And if it's not going to work, it should be for reasons you both understand.
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thank you for this advice.

i saw her today.. for the last time. :\ We just didn't click enough to keep it going. We are two very different people and I am rather sad about it.. but life goes on I guess. Never give up guys. There has to be someone out there in the sea of people that's right for you.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
In these kinds of situations, I tell myself "It's not over until I say it is." Give her some time, THINK OF SOMETHING REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD TO SAY, and try again.

And don't even think about asking about that number (or talking to her at all) next week. Or the week after.
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Wait, what is there to gain by ignoring her for two weeks?
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
Click to expand...

One of the creepiest things I've read on here in awhile.
 
Dr Duncan Steel said:
Wait, what is there to gain by ignoring her for two weeks?
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Her saying "I'll give you my number next week" was a nice way of completely and utterly rejecting you, and hoping that in a weeks time you've forgotten about her and any notion of asking her out again. Asking her for her number anyway the next week tells her you obviously can't take a hint and would force a more direct/painful rejection out of her. Leaving her alone for the week tells her you're not totally clueless, and leaving her alone for an additional week hopefully clears the air for you to make a fresh attempt later on. The girl isn't stupid; if you start trying to start conversations with her immediately after she rejected you, she's going to start straight up avoiding you.


bjb said:
One of the creepiest things I've read on here in awhile.
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I have no idea what you guys see in that message that screams "creepy". I couldn't disagree more. I think it sounds perfectly harmless and cute (and its supposed to be a little cheesy/dumb). I'm gonna go ahead and assume you guys are both dudes and are reading the message as dudes. Girls find that kind of shit cute/dumb, and are going to share it with everyone they talk to that day.

I fully expect for her to respond positively.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
I have no idea what you guys see in that message that screams "creepy". I couldn't disagree more. I think it sounds perfectly harmless and cute (and its supposed to be a little cheesy/dumb). I'm gonna go ahead and assume you guys are both dudes and are reading the message as dudes. Girls find that kind of shit cute/dumb, and are going to share it with everyone they talk to that day.

I fully expect for her to respond positively.
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This isn't very many data points, but I shared that note with two of my (girl) friends and none of us thought it was creepy. You got smiles, aww's, and a "audi, nice."
 
Put me in the creepy basket. Not really endearing, just awkward.


meow said:
This isn't very many data points, but I shared that note with two of my (girl) friends and none of us thought it was creepy. You got smiles, aww's, and a "audi, nice."
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Do they like romcoms?
 
Leaving a flirtatious note on someone's car is awkward by default, so I didn't really care about that element. Like I said earlier, I work at a place with 5000 people, park wherever I can find a spot, and had never seen the girl before.

You don't really run into same people again very often, most times never, so I just left the note as a throwaway attempt to see how she's react. I literally know nothing about her and have zero investment there whatsoever.

bjb said:
No doubt. In fact, I shared it with my own misses; Said she would consider calling the police, or at the very least - never park or travel alone there again.
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Lol, ok now that's ridiculous.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Leaving a flirtatious note on someone's car is awkward by default, so I didn't really care about that element. Like I said earlier, I work at a place with 5000 people, park wherever I can find a spot, and had never seen the girl before.

You don't really run into same people again very often, most times never, so I just left the note as a throwaway attempt to see how she's react. I literally know nothing about her and have zero investment there whatsoever.
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Your second paragraph doesn't make it any less creepy of a note.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
I don't think the content was creepy to begin with so I'm not really arguing that. Only emphasizing that there's no "stalker-like" behavior/motivation behind it. It was a random, spur of the moment type thing.
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Here's the thought process: "Oh, nice, some guy knows what my car is and I have absolutely no information about him. I now feel slightly unsafe walking to my car knowing someone has been watching me enough to link the two. I really fucking hope he's not a creep."

Sure, you might not mean any harm by it, but honestly, I've had enough negative interactions with strangers on the street including someone following me for a few blocks that something like this would set off a red flag more than make me feel that it was a cute gesture. No, not every woman is going to have the same reaction, but I think you should be aware that such things can make someone really uncomfortable.
 
Kyne said:
thank you for this advice.

i saw her today.. for the last time. :\ We just didn't click enough to keep it going. We are two very different people and I am rather sad about it.. but life goes on I guess. Never give up guys. There has to be someone out there in the sea of people that's right for you.
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Sure thing, man.

I was pretty recently on the receiving end of something that feels kind of like your situation. My girl was apparently considering for weeks about whether or not to break up with me and I had no idea it was coming. I thought it was going great and she evidently didn't. But she didn't let me in on any of it and I ended up feeling kind of hurt over it. I hope both of you came to an understanding in the end.
 
Pau said:
Here's the thought process: "Oh, nice, some guy knows what my car is and I have absolutely no information about him. I now feel slightly unsafe walking to my car knowing someone has been watching me enough to link the two. I really fucking hope he's not a creep."

Sure, you might not mean any harm by it, but honestly, I've had enough negative interactions with strangers on the street including someone following me for a few blocks that something like this would set off a red flag more than make me feel that it was a cute gesture. No, not every woman is going to have the same reaction, but I think you should be aware that such things can make someone really uncomfortable.
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Agreed, though in this case she has a reasonable expectation that he is the guy he said he is -- he provided his business card if I remember right, and they do work in the same company.
 
Pau said:
Here's the thought process: "Oh, nice, some guy knows what my car is and I have absolutely no information about him. I now feel slightly unsafe walking to my car knowing someone has been watching me enough to link the two. I really fucking hope he's not a creep."

Sure, you might not mean any harm by it, but honestly, I've had enough negative interactions with strangers on the street including someone following me for a few blocks that something like this would set off a red flag more than make me feel that it was a cute gesture. No, not every woman is going to have the same reaction, but I think you should be aware that such things can make someone really uncomfortable.
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You and several other people are forgetting that I wrote the note on the back of my work business card that contains my full name, email address, work phone, cell phone, fax number, job title, department, and desk location. She has literally all the information she could possibly need on me. I did that on purpose instead of writing it on a scrawled piece of notebook paper to make it seem less intimidating and more open. If she's interested, she has a thousand different ways to get in touch, and if she's not, she can totally blow me off knowing that I don't know nearly as much about her as she does about me.

Also, our office parking lot is routinely patrolled by security and blocked off by gates with security guards that have to wave you through. This is an on-site work parking lot. One company. Everyone who parks there is a badged employee.
 
Auggggghhhhh, the ever faithful "I'd love to but I'm super busy this weekend, sorry! Hopefully next weekend is better!". It could very well be true, and I would like to offer the benefit of the doubt, but these things don't usually pan out.

Small vent, carry on folks!
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
You and several other people are forgetting that I wrote the note on the back of my work business card that contains my full name, email address, work phone, cell phone, fax number, job title, department, and desk location. She has literally all the information she could possibly need on me. I did that on purpose instead of writing it on a scrawled piece of notebook paper to make it seem less intimidating and more open. If she's interested, she has a thousand different ways to get in touch, and if she's not, she can totally blow me off knowing that I don't know nearly as much about her as she does about me.
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No one is forgetting that. Look, regardless of your intent, or other insignificant variables (like what you wrote the note on) - the fact remains; it's pretty creepy. Definitely not a socially acceptable practice for approaching or meeting women.

Dreavus said:
Auggggghhhhh, the ever faithful "I'd love to but I'm super busy this weekend, sorry! Hopefully next weekend is better!". It could very well be true, and I would like to offer the benefit of the doubt, but these things don't usually pan out.

Small vent, carry on folks!
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Move on and ignore this person until they express interest in you. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
You and several other people are forgetting that I wrote the note on the back of my work business card that contains my full name, email address, work phone, cell phone, fax number, job title, department, and desk location. She has literally all the information she could possibly need on me. I did that on purpose instead of writing it on a scrawled piece of notebook paper to make it seem less intimidating and more open. If she's interested, she has a thousand different ways to get in touch, and if she's not, she can totally blow me off knowing that I don't know nearly as much about her as she does about me.

Also, our office parking lot is routinely patrolled by security and blocked off by gates with security guards that have to wave you through. This is an on-site work parking lot. One company. Everyone who parks there is a badged employee.
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Other posters and I have said it would make them feel uncomfortable, and others have said it wouldn't bother them. If you don't think that those of us who would be made uncomfortable by such a thing have any reason to be, then I don't know what to tell you. I might have the dude's name and number, but I still don't know what kind of person he is, how he'll react if I ignore him, or if he'll keep at it or what. These are things I'd rather not worry about when I'm just trying to go to my job.
 
Pau said:
If you don't think that those of us who would be made uncomfortable by such a thing have any reason to be, then I don't know what to tell you.
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Of course I don't think that. I think the gist of this whole thing just boils down to a simple question:

Does the notion of "secret admirer" freak you out or not? The answer varies from person to person. Obviously it makes you uncomfortable. I can't argue at you for being uncomfortable lol.
 
put a big sign on your car from now on that says "HEY LADY I'M THE 1" (with flames coming off the sides), so if she walks past your car she knows it's her Missed Connection
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
Click to expand...

this is goddamned creepy.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
Click to expand...
Sounds like something that would work well in a sitcom or a romantic comedy even but not in real life. Sorry buddy.
 
Has anyone here successfully dealt with odd self confidence quirks?

Whenever I am outgoing, I feel like I am bothering people. I'm not super unattractive so I probably don't really need to feel that way.
 
Horse Detective said:
Has anyone here successfully dealt with odd self confidence quirks?

Whenever I am outgoing, I feel like I am bothering people. I'm not super unattractive so I probably don't really need to feel that way.
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That's never necessary man! When you are really bothering people, there will be very obvious signals. Besides, you have to be a total dick and completely ignorant to not know when you are bothering somebody, right?

And yes, I have dealt with/am dealing with self confidence quirks. When you think about it, most of them are born out of the fact that you as a person overthink almost everything you say or do.
 
Deepack said:
That's never necessary man! When you are really bothering people, there will be very obvious signals. Besides, you have to be a total dick and completely ignorant to not knwo when you are bothering somebody, right?

And yes, I have dealt with/am dealing with self confidence quirks. When you think about it, most of them are born out of the fact that you as a person overthink almost everything you say or do.
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I just feel like I automatically assume that someone I am into is uninterested. Trying to break myself of that I guess.
 
Leeness said:
Which is why I just want to find a good male friend! Haha. Who will be nice to me just for me and won't be rude. I'd ditch them if they were, but it's hard to find any male friends haha.
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I think once you get out of college, you really don't have friends of the opposite sex except for those who are roommates, friends' SOs, etc. I would just go about life doing the activities that I enjoy and just make an effort to have fun doing things I enjoy with making friends/meeting new people being a side benefit.

AdventureRacing said:
It reads as kind of strange as previously her complaints in this thread were that guys were interested in her but as soon as sex came up they became grossed out. You can't simultaneously complain that all guys want from you is sex and that all guys are grossed out by your appearance and would never think of you sexually.

Edit: The desire for hugging, cuddling and generally being intimate with someone are very closely related to sexual desire imo. Your natural defenses are making you rule out the sex portion as gross as a natural defense because of how you have been hurt in the past. I think you need to get over this hurdle that is basically stifling your interaction with guys in general. It's a pretty difficult thing to do and it certainly isn't something that can be done by anonymous people on an internet forum.
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As others mentioned, Leeness should continue to seek help. Recently on GAF, someone posted some 45 minute video from BBC? about two Brits (1 male, 1 female) who were virgins and they did sexual therapy to help overcome their aversion to sex. Does anyone have a link to it? I thought the documentary was pretty well done. Maybe this kind of therapy might help with the thinking that it's gross? In any case, getting professional help would be well worth it.
 
Horse Detective said:
I just feel like I automatically assume that someone I am into is uninterested. Trying to break myself of that I guess.
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Why? Are you scared of that or is that really how you feel?

Automatically thinking that you are uninteresting is a behavior caused by fear of being denied or shot down. It sets you up to feel less disappointment/terrible in case of a negative outcome. Most important thing is to be fearless and to be yourself. Sounds incredibly cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason.

Well, that's how I think about it at least.
 
n64coder said:
I think once you get out of college, you really don't have friends of the opposite sex except for those who are roommates, friends' SOs, etc. I would just go about life doing the activities that I enjoy and just make an effort to have fun doing things I enjoy with making friends/meeting new people being a side benefit.
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Wat. I have loads of friends of the opposite sex .
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
I have no idea what you guys see in that message that screams "creepy". I couldn't disagree more. I think it sounds perfectly harmless and cute (and its supposed to be a little cheesy/dumb). I'm gonna go ahead and assume you guys are both dudes and are reading the message as dudes. Girls find that kind of shit cute/dumb, and are going to share it with everyone they talk to that day.

I fully expect for her to respond positively.
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"Hey guys, tell me what you think of this note I left on this lady's car! What do you mean it's creepy? That's not the validation I wanted! :("

I would probably be freaked out. Shit's creepy, yo.
 
Deepack said:
Why? Are you scared of that or is that really how you feel?

Automatically thinking that you are uninteresting is a behavior caused by fear of being denied or shot down. It sets you up to feel less disappointment/terrible in case of a negative outcome. Most importatnt hing is to be fearless and to be yourself. Sounds incredibly cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason.

Well, that''s how I think about it at least.
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I guess i'm a bit afraid of being shot down. A lot of people get really comfortable with me as a friend.
 
I don't find the note creepy. :/

I'd say either she finds it cute, or she finds it demonstrates a lack of confidence. I don't really know why creepy would enter into the equation when you're giving her your information and putting the ball completely in her court.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
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not _creepy_ but not someone I would ever bother with because that's a horrible jump to make without seeing someone. it won't happen.
to elaborate I would never, ever call based on a note like that, period.
 
Agent Cooper said:
"Hey guys, tell me what you think of this note I left on this lady's car! What do you mean it's creepy? That's not the validation I wanted! :("
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What's your point? That because I asked for opinions I shouldn't disagree with the ones that I.....disagree with? Lol. It's obvious that not everyone feels the same way (almost evenly split by my count). Read though the last couple of pages.
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
What's your point? That because I asked for opinions I shouldn't disagree with the ones that I.....disagree with? Lol. It's obvious that not everyone feels the same way (almost evenly split by my count). Read though the last couple of pages.
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Dear Cartoon avatar,
My owner got a glimpse of the text of your awful car note and would like to know if she's gotten in touch yet.

Sincerely,
Mortal Kombat Avatar
 
Yes yes, we've heard all kinds of opinions on the note thing, let's move on until we get a result, if at all.

The most important topic at hand is: What the hell is up with all the weird Mortal Kombat avatars and strange nicknames? :lol I PM'd Johnny Cage in the Shower but never got a reply from the twat :(
 
Ghost_Protocol said:
Left my business card on a girl's car I saw park near me in our parking lot at work this morning. Our company is pretty big (5000 people). Tell me what you think of the note I wrote on the back:

Dear White Chevy,

My owner caught a glimpse of your owner this morning and wanted to come say hello but she was too fast. Do you think if I left this note she'd text/email him sometime? He'd love to hear from her. If not, no big deal.

Sincerely,
Blue Audi
Click to expand...

And this right here is the reason to take the advice given in this thread with a grain of salt. The same people dishing out advice are pulling this stuff.
 
Minamu said:
Yes yes, we've heard all kinds of opinions on the note thing, let's move on until we get a result, if at all.

The most important topic at hand is: What the hell is up with all the weird Mortal Kombat avatars and strange nicknames? :lol I PM'd Johnny Cage in the Shower but never got a reply from the twat :(
Click to expand...

It's not the first time the hobbies of Mortal Kombat characters have been called into question.

Cooking_with_Scorpion.jpg
 
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