Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
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Lionheart1827
Member
Femmeworth
Banned
I'm waiting for my date to arrive. She won't be here for another 30 minutes or so. *anxiety rising*
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
Eek, I try not to be more than 10 minutes early if possible because the wait kills me.
Pre-date anxiety is horrible. It usually goes away right when you greet each other though. Make sure to go in for a hug to establish some intimacy right off the bat.
Femmeworth
Banned
Well, it's a coffee shop, so I can mess around on my laptop (which I'm doing) to pass the time. I was going to try and do a little bit of studying, but so much for that.
I wouldn't feel comfortable with that unless she sets it up.
Actually if she is so quick to hug, it'll totally mean I'm friendzoned. *puts on fedora*
Femmeworth
Banned
Note: I haven't been on a date before. (Not that I have zero relationship experience.)
Edit: The anxiety is killing me. Gah!
Edit 2: I'm having flashbacks to the time I was stood up at a coffee shop.
Thanks guys, and HoJu it wasn't about anything actually. I just ended up with the highest mark in my grade for the course.
Hermii, I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or not (my internet sarcasm detector is busted
), but I just can't feel good about myself, and I can assure you I'm not really awesome. I wish. Maybe one day though.My doctor wants me to contemplate why I "torture" myself.
He thinks it's fascinating that whenever things are bad, I despair. And whenever things go well...I despair.
He's absolutely right, but I have no idea why I work that way.
I feel like a lot of other people here probably struggle with a similar lose / lose mindset and I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts.
<3
He thinks it's fascinating that whenever things are bad, I despair. And whenever things go well...I despair.
He's absolutely right, but I have no idea why I work that way.
I feel like a lot of other people here probably struggle with a similar lose / lose mindset and I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts.
<3
Femmeworth
Banned
I'm exhausted (from the social interaction), so I'm not fully sure how the date went. Didn't get a hug or anything (not that she owed me anything), but she sent me a positive text afterwards.
Thanks guys, and HoJu it wasn't about anything actually. I just ended up with the highest mark in my grade for the course.
Hermii, I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or not (my internet sarcasm detector is busted
Damn it! It wasnt sarcasm just badly formulated. What I meant is that its awesome that you aced the English course and you should feel good about it.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
This is kind of stupid, but I've been stuck in another wikipedia loop, and reading about many of the founders of the theory and study of computing (my major), it makes me sad that I'm not more intelligent. I'm dumb. I don't know how to put it any other way but these people were brilliant, and I wish I could leave my mark on humanity in the way these guys and gals did.
AKA college makes me feel dumb
*sigh*
AKA college makes me feel dumb
*sigh*
whiterabbit
Member
I edited my post to try to be more respectful to my parents and myself. I'm stressing because I wanted to play the new game I got, but want to try playing on an original 3DS, feeling tired of my XL. I hope I get one soon. The program was month-by-month, and I did a few different things. I lived on 'the hill' at the ranch for a few months, then in a co-house with other people in the town, and an apartment lastly before coming home. I do think it was a bit of a rip off, although it was nice to have people to talk to. I can't be sure what my current doctor thinks. I know I'm not happy with how things are. I guess I should be grateful I have a place to live since coming home was what I wanted. I'm fine with it now, I just can't figure out what to do fo work, and that's the only thing they, and I, want. I do think I want another 3DS, and I'm frustrated I can't afford a relatively inexpensive piece of hardware. Compared with the PS4 and XBox One, a 3DS is fairly cheap. I know I should probably work harder at getting a job. That will help some of the power struggles I am dealing with. I don't like being involved with mental health in the real world because it's depersonalizing how detached medication treatment can be. I sometimes feel I would be better off without psychiatry and therapy,
Had a bizarre day yesterday. Started off in the morning feeling completely awful - probably my lowest ebb for a while - and not in the mood for anyone, anything or to be anywhere. I worked through some of my issues with a couple of friends and boy, was I relieved to have them there for me. Just knowing that there are people willing to help out like that is an enormous gift.
Later in the day, I got round to checking my post and found a letter regarding anti-depressants from my CBT therapist who had CC'd me a letter from him to my GP. It was an enormous surprise as just last week I had been told by him that it wouldn't be happening for another 2-3 weeks, since he couldn't get in contact with the person who was supposed to review the letter and sign off on it. During last week's session, I got upset and told him how frustrated I was with the system and the length of time it was taking to move forward. He heard me, said he'd do his best, and I guess he really did. I guess if I'm saying here in this babble, it's that for anyone reading or too scared to do it, if you need help, ask for it. There is no shame in asking someone for advice, guidance or just someone to talk to.
That's awesome. Hope it continues positively, let us know!
"How can they?" "This won't last." "This is good, but why am I still scared?" - Do you go through any thought patterns like that?
You sound out of tune!
Later in the day, I got round to checking my post and found a letter regarding anti-depressants from my CBT therapist who had CC'd me a letter from him to my GP. It was an enormous surprise as just last week I had been told by him that it wouldn't be happening for another 2-3 weeks, since he couldn't get in contact with the person who was supposed to review the letter and sign off on it. During last week's session, I got upset and told him how frustrated I was with the system and the length of time it was taking to move forward. He heard me, said he'd do his best, and I guess he really did. I guess if I'm saying here in this babble, it's that for anyone reading or too scared to do it, if you need help, ask for it. There is no shame in asking someone for advice, guidance or just someone to talk to.
That's awesome. Hope it continues positively, let us know!
Do you feel like anything positive that happens is bound to end up, eventually, in failure? I get like that sometimes. It's hard to know whether I'm just scared of success, scared of progress, or whether there's something else to it. Since I'm so used to having something go wrong with my anxiety, I despair at the idea of things go well.Piano said:
"How can they?" "This won't last." "This is good, but why am I still scared?" - Do you go through any thought patterns like that?
You sound out of tune!
sorry, couldn't resist
whiterabbit
Member
A/S/L?
I'm 26/M/Oregon.
I'm 26/M/Oregon.
What's "sawap"?I was behind on this thread, been so busy lately. But I just read all the posts I missed. SAWAP everyone
Bit a weird question but alright. 25/M/Netherlands
Stay As Well As Possible. It's from a webcomic.
whiterabbit
Member
It's a traditional Internet question. Just curious really. Maybe it's weird for NeoGAF, yeah.
User 100115
Banned
31/F/Oregon
I am still around, but my health is taking more twists and turns and...I'll try and keep you guys posted.
I am still around, but my health is taking more twists and turns and...I'll try and keep you guys posted.
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
It's amazing to me how susceptible my condition is to suggestion.
On the way in to work I realised that I couldn't remember taking my meds last night.
I've felt weird all day as a result.
Brains are weird.
On the way in to work I realised that I couldn't remember taking my meds last night.
I've felt weird all day as a result.
Brains are weird.
Lionheart1827
Member
Nooo. Feel better Fiction!
whiterabbit
Member
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I have barely any confidence that I can get a job and be successful at anything. I can't seem to manage my money wisely or stop doing self-destructive behavior. I feel like it's really hard to get help too.
I don't know who you are trying to fool here. We all know JLH was born in 79!
Things are pretty rough here at the moment. Cried a few times a couple of days ago, and that tends to be a fairly rare thing for me. The main thing that triggered it all was the critical thinking I have towards myself. And it's so deeply rooted too, to the point that nearly everything I say and do is put under this critical self scrutiny. I can't even just have a nice chat with someone without going through this every time. Even with people I'm fairly established with it was the same thing, every aspect of what I get wrong is put under my own microscope, and it just kills me inside that I'm like this.
And it has been like that since the start, before I even started school. I thought it was one of those things I would get through with practice, like the shyness and eye contact. But that didn't happen, and it's much more complex than those things, and it has really worn me down overtime. That paired with the high anxiety just makes everything I have to do so difficult to the point that most things don't seem worthwhile, to have me go through this process all the time. My mum knows the basics of what is going on, and suggested I should go out and do something to perk me up a bit. And my response was roughly "Doing that wont help me feel better at all. There is nothing for me out there." It feels accurate at the moment, but the fact that this is what it's come to really sucks, and now my mum will be more worried too.
And the mental health centre once again has appeared to have failed to call me back. This is the third time they have done this. Another source suggested a contact that may help push things along, I will call them tomorrow or Monday, since I can't get anywhere on my own here. Health care set up for the mental sides of things is fucking terrible, feels like I'm sinking with no one to pull me up. I just really want to try and get better as best I can, to actually have a shot at living a decent, independent life some day.
This is a tweaked version of a PM I sent to someone, but thought it would be good to put here too. Since it is a bit more detailed about my current problems, and may give someone the "I'm not alone here" feeling.
And it has been like that since the start, before I even started school. I thought it was one of those things I would get through with practice, like the shyness and eye contact. But that didn't happen, and it's much more complex than those things, and it has really worn me down overtime. That paired with the high anxiety just makes everything I have to do so difficult to the point that most things don't seem worthwhile, to have me go through this process all the time. My mum knows the basics of what is going on, and suggested I should go out and do something to perk me up a bit. And my response was roughly "Doing that wont help me feel better at all. There is nothing for me out there." It feels accurate at the moment, but the fact that this is what it's come to really sucks, and now my mum will be more worried too.
And the mental health centre once again has appeared to have failed to call me back. This is the third time they have done this. Another source suggested a contact that may help push things along, I will call them tomorrow or Monday, since I can't get anywhere on my own here. Health care set up for the mental sides of things is fucking terrible, feels like I'm sinking with no one to pull me up. I just really want to try and get better as best I can, to actually have a shot at living a decent, independent life some day.
This is a tweaked version of a PM I sent to someone, but thought it would be good to put here too. Since it is a bit more detailed about my current problems, and may give someone the "I'm not alone here" feeling.
There are elements of that, definitely. The idea that any success or good feelings are temporary and I'll probably fuck it up at some point. If things go well I end up waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Part of it is being scared of change in general.
All of this goes in and out, of course. Sometimes I'm just fine. Other times I'm wrapped up in feeling like inevitably things are going to fall apart, that I'm a huge burden on my friends and they only speak with me out of obligation, and that no matter what I do I'm never living up to my potential and am therefore a failure to some degree.
Even when I'm in that place I usually know that that's all irrational garbage. But I can't stop feeling it. It's wild. One half of my brain is observing the other half wondering why the fuck it's short circuiting.
Thanks for your thoughts
A+.
I always forget about my username. I wanted 'yogurt' but it was taken so Piano was a distant, distant second choice.
What episode is this from?
ClassyPenguin
Banned
An upcoming one, I guess. It's their teaser.
It's an obvious thing to say all things considered but I approve.
Medication has done nothing to fix the root of my problem, which is an absolutely crushing lack of self-esteem: I've been telling my therapist and med doctor this over and over again but I've gotten nowhere. I honestly have no idea how to even begin fixing myself. Not even exercise seems to help anymore.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Judging by some of your posts here, you seem to have a very disorganized way of thinking. Doesn't look like depression at all. Obviously, I'm not a mental health professional but you need to see one and soon.
I'll repost these, because they have so much good info:
3) Some amazing reviews of drug therapy for...
Depression
Anxiety
Bipolar disorder
Insomnia
Prozac (fluoxetine) tends to be a more "activating" drug, so you often take it in the morning. The big issue is the sexual side effects, which Prozac is absolutely notorious for. Not everyone is affected the same way, or to the same degree, so YMMV. If your depression and anxiety are really on the low side, the side effects of nearly any medication may outweigh the potential benefits. That's for you to decide, in consultation with your doctor. It's something to try, sure, but there are also other medication and non-medication avenues to explore, if this isn't for you.
I'll plug our first podcast again, too (104 listens!), on drug side effects. We should be doing another one soon-ish, discussing some recent posts in the thread.
whiterabbit
Member
I would say that's true, but I don't think disorganized thinking necessarily indicates a mental illness. It's probably a result of being brought up with computers, and multitasking, but I was on Prozac for a year and an antipsychotic called Latuda, but I started getting some very, very irritating muscle clenching side effects in my jaw and my groin. That's when I started having suicidal thoughts. Believe it or not, I got worse after that year in the program. It doesn't seem like you read my posts though. I went to a program for a year. I came back and saw my old psychiatrist again and a new therapist. I'm not really sure what drugs I need, if any, but I was wondering if I might have ADHD - or might benefit by medicines that treat it.
The fact that you were prescribed Latuda, or any anti-psychotic, is an indication that a medical professional thought you had disorganised thinking or more. They don't prescribe those things lightly. I know the way you think/are seems normal, or at least functional to you but it is very much a sign of some personal issues and blaming computers and multi-tasking is avoidance of the issue. Trying to self-diagnose yourself is also avoidance of the issue. People often have an inability to look at themselves from the outside-in, or try to pine their mental health professionals for diagnosis that they feel more comfortable with. I'm sorry to be blunt but it doesn't work that way. It comes off more as drug-seeking stimulants like ritalin or adderal. I'm not saying you are- but a doctor will likely see it this way, or have to consider it.
Femmeworth
Banned
Is there not one for ADHD? Looking over the one for anxiety disorders.
The one specifically for ADHD is a bit harder to read. The tables (table 5 in the anxiety one is great) in the other papers do a great job summarizing side-effects, drugs for the short-term vs. long-term, all that stuff. The ADHD one is a little wordier.
I'll try to find some more general reading on ADHD if people would like it.
Femmeworth
Banned
I'm having a hard enough time reading the one for anxiety. -_-
whiterabbit
Member
I went to a doctor who specializes in OCD, and I believe that's part of the reason I was recommended the drug. At the time, I was reluctant to stay on a med for try something new. I also tried valproic acid, I think it was called. I definitely don't disagree that trying different types of tranquilizers could be beneficial. I also felt like I was addicted to the Internet. What's the difference between wanting to try a new drug to see if it helps me and drug seeking behavior?
How much fun the drug is? If you want to try, say, a stimulant for ADHD, that may be a perfectly reasonable request, based on symptoms and diagnoses, or it may be an attempt to get drugs for abuse or for resale. There's a lot of professional discretion involved.
In general, if you're asking for a drug by name, docs will get very suspicious. It's also less helpful to them, as people believe all sorts of crazy stuff about medications. If you say, "I'm depressed, I think I need Prozac," and your doctor says, "okey-dokey," they've bypassed the part where they do their actual job and decide what tests, treatments, diagnoses, etc. you need.
Earlier this summer, when I was having these crazy joint pains and my mood was tanking, it would have been tempting to go in and just ask for painkillers until the pain went away. Had a doctor honored that request (unlikely, but ok), they would have missed my Lyme Disease, and it could have been much worse for me. Instead, we talked about everything that had been going on, did the appropriate tests, got the diagnosis, and I got appropriate meds for what I had. I took my last antibiotic yesterday, coincidentally, btw, and I feel a million times better.
Niamh is right that the stuff you've been on suggests that you really need to see a psychiatrist to sort all of this out.
The tables really have all of the good bits. Table 5 is an incredible resource, and the subsequent tables break down treatments for specific conditions into acute vs. long term treatments.
I had thought about doing a nerdy science thing and writing up/bagelscasting a break down of what is known about anxiety disorders, the basic science, the treatments, all of it, broken down for a non-medical audience. I might be able to enlist my partner in crime, ClassyPenguin to drop some neuroscience on y'all if there's interest.
I'm always happy to address specific questions, too!
(This is as fun, if not more so, than discussing my favorite games. I sincerely love this stuff so much...)
There are elements of that, definitely. The idea that any success or good feelings are temporary and I'll probably fuck it up at some point. If things go well I end up waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Part of it is being scared of change in general.
All of this goes in and out, of course. Sometimes I'm just fine. Other times I'm wrapped up in feeling like inevitably things are going to fall apart, that I'm a huge burden on my friends and they only speak with me out of obligation, and that no matter what I do I'm never living up to my potential and am therefore a failure to some degree.
Even when I'm in that place I usually know that that's all irrational garbage. But I can't stop feeling it. It's wild. One half of my brain is observing the other half wondering why the fuck it's short circuiting.
Thanks for your thoughts
I've felt for the past few weeks like that too, people talking to me out of obligation, a huge burden, all that. I think it's important to remember also that you can only do your best, and if you have impossibly high expectations, then you're probably setting yourself up for a failure. Or, at least, thinking that you have failed yourself or someone else.
Like you, I also realise that it's irrational, even while it is happening. It's a tug of war between two sides of the brain and often it probably feels like everything is on fire. It's not easy to contend with. Over the past couple of days, I've resolved to try and feel less of the highs and less of the lows. Trying to accept that people won't always want me, and I can be okay with that. Hopefully you can find some kind of middle-ground.
Piano said:
yeah but then you'd be past your sell by date
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Haven't felt good all week. Weekends are always the hardest
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