I hope OP proves us all wrong and streams him fucking the girl on monday.
and about that surprise b-day party, OP do you even know where she lives ? you also mentioned you was never once alone with her.
GAF, I'm 100% sure I'm getting friendzoned on Monday
- Thread starter Kopite
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I hope OP proves us all wrong and streams him fucking the girl on monday.
and about that surprise b-day party, OP do you even know where she lives ? you also mentioned you was never once alone with her.
youngwerther
Banned
Sounds fun to me.
SlipperySlope
Banned
Given what's been going on, I wouldn't be surprised if it was in class.
Can't remember the details but I dreamed that she actually said yes and was elated. Then I woke up.
And today on Facebook we're still chatting and joking and having fun. The whole 'confession' hasn't turned her off being my friend at all.
As for the birthday party, yes it was after class but on campus and since I'm one of if not her closest friends in Uni, it's not shocking that I organised it. She loved it anyway.
And today on Facebook we're still chatting and joking and having fun. The whole 'confession' hasn't turned her off being my friend at all.
As for the birthday party, yes it was after class but on campus and since I'm one of if not her closest friends in Uni, it's not shocking that I organised it. She loved it anyway.
NeOak
Member
Of course, why would she stop you from feeding her your attention?
youngwerther
Banned
Kopite, you are in a delicate position between being a sweet guy and being a beta-orbiter.
It's two way though. I was mostly responding to those who thought me 'confessing' meant the end of our friendship.
NeOak
Member
If you want to be her friend, you need time off. No long chats or anything. Distance is key here.
SlipperySlope
Banned
The answer to this question will tell whether this friendship will work:
Do you still want more?
Salvor.Hardin
Banned
youngwerther
Banned
Man the amount of times I've had that dream
The feels.
Fuck that dream.
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
Don't forget to record the conversation on your phone and then transcribe it for backseat driver-Gaf to sink their teeth into.
Yeah, quit using shorthand to refer to the confirmation that a relationship is strictly platonic - non-entitled people know that using spatial metaphors to describe states of being is SEXIST
TacticalFox88
Banned
So, let me get this straight....you're not only getting friend zoned...but you're SCHEDULED to get a friendzone.
I just....
What?!
I just....
What?!
Salvor.Hardin
Banned
OP - Out of curiosity, why did she schedule it for Monday? Why not over the weekend? You guys seem to hang out quite a bit. I'd imagine it would be quite natural to hang out these couple of days?
level_e11even
Banned
You need to get the fuck out bruh bruh
Whatever speck of hope you have left has to be destroyed. Friendzone is not a place, it's free fall. You, my friend, already jumped and didn't make it to the other side. The moment you make a move and she doesn't reciprocate, it's over. You HAVE to get away. I know it's easier to give the advice than to follow it, but trust me.
Also, you're not in love with this girl. If she were to get in a car accident tomorrow and disfigured her face to a point where that thing from Amnesia looked better than her, I bet neither you or "the other guy" would be beside her for the rest of her life. Now that's love bro. You? You're just infatuated. Snap out of it.
You have to distance yourself, I repeat, distance the fuck away.
Also, don't go to that thing on Monday, have some dignity.
We don't stay on campus so we rarely go out on weekends, we've got some assignments to get done too so that's probably why she's chosen Monday. We also have the week off.
Damn
shanshan310
Member
What.
Please don't tell me the "touch barrier" is a real thing that people say or care about. Sounds like some kind of hilarious PUA buzz word.
give this man a medal ^ sound fucking advice right here
nothing is worse than being a beta orbiter
Salvor.Hardin
Banned
OP needs to go to this thing on Monday. If not for himself, then for us.
Do it for the update, OP. Do it for the update.
Digital Joker
Banned
This man speaks the truth.
You know us gals; we just live off of that attention. Can't be that we enjoy the friendship for what it is.
Salvor.Hardin
Banned
give this man a medal ^ sound fucking advice right here
nothing is worse than being a beta orbiter
It's bullshit advice. She doesn't owe the OP anything. She's friends with him and he enjoys her company. If he just runs, then she'll think he did it all for the pussy. If he can't stand not being her bf, then he can slowly taper it off. But nothing is worse and more awkward than a guy who just stops talking to a girl because she doesn't feel the same way.
All this beta talk is nonsense.
I'll do it, might even record it.
shanshan310
Member
That man is an idiot. There's nothing undignified about going to meet this girl, even if it means just being rejected and getting closure. Running away from a meeting she invited you to is ridiculous and really rude. The OP already said he didn't mind returning to being friends with the girl if things don't go so well with the date, and there's nothing wrong with them remaining friends. If one of my good friends confessed to me and I just saw them as a good friend, I would feel very insulted if they then decided a friendship that I valued wasn't worth their time because I didn't want to open my legs for them. If the infatuation is getting in the way of the friendship, he should be honest with her, but bailing out without any explanation is so SO dumb.
Yup. Rule No.1 of dating. Never ask someone who uses alpha and beta for advice.
youngwerther
Banned
Yup. It's what an immature child does basically.
shanshan310
Member
Fuckin' this, guys. The whole post, but especially this. You're generally not going to build good habits for socializing with other people (including engaging others in relationships) if you're acting like this.
on the flip side OP doesn't owe her a gat damn thing either
people make such a big deal about it online but honestly almost everything that happens in human social interactions is just mostly random and people change their minds like the wind.
TL
R people are fickle OP do what you want and see what does or doesn't happen and ultimately gaf will either laugh with you or at you.
the choice is yours
Break the touch barrier end the friendzone war OP.
Digital Joker
Banned
Yes you're right. Unrequited love is so noble and heart warming.
Gimmie a break. Do you live in the real world? Do you know anything about relationships other than through text? You jump to conclusions and assume us rogues when in reality we probley just want to spare him heartache and what could very likely be missed chances at happiness with someone else because he's to busy focussing on a last cause.
level_e11even
Banned
The fuck? So HE does? He doesn't enjoy the company, that's a beta statement if I ever saw one. No guy is ever just friends with a girl he's physically attracted to, and any girl that's aware of this and still wants him as a friend after SCHEDULING an "I'll explain why [not]" reunion (the fucking nerve) doesn't deserve the benefits of a friendship.
He's distancing for himself. Only a self-rightous, misguided beta would think of her feelings before his own. Yeah, sure, let him go into that self-destructive, powerless path of unrequited "love"!
He needs to snap out of this infatuation. He needs to see that just like this girl, there are hundreds more. He doesn't have to back away like a douche, just simply state why civilly. Going to this scheduled meeting willingly, knowing the inevitable, is just clinging to a desperate hope that will just make it even harder for him to get back on his feet.
Also, nice of you sending a low self-esteem guy to a reunion where this girl will inevitably crush his hopes and dreams with words sugar-coated in "friendship", " need time", "it's not you it's me's", "other guy", "we can still hang out though!", etc., all for OUR entertainment, right? Because we need the update.
Talk about bullshit advice.
I'm like 100% sure Shan knows more about relationships than most of GAF. She's not advocating unrequited love, she's telling him to be a fucking adult about dealing with it and at least talking to the girl about it before just disappearing.
Salvor.Hardin
Banned
Haha I don't know if you're be serious or not but this is a very entertaining post.
Look, he hasn't known her too long, and he really does enjoy her company. She wants to explain herself, and he wants to listen.
Thinking of yourself in an internal alpha/beta battle is reckless and prone to unleash your insecurities in all kinds of unproductive ways when you finally do fall in love.
Until that day, be civilized and manage your emotions well enough to move on without being abrupt, insecure, or hurtful.
shanshan310
Member
Where did I imply that?
He said he wants to remain friends with the girl. If it's going to cause him heartache he should explain that that to the girl before taking his leave. She would understand. I've had people just ignore me because I rejected them, and it's really rude. I've had more people become very cherished friends of mine after I explained that I was already in a relationship. They have girlfriends (I've even set some of them up) and we all hang out and it's great. Friendships can work, and I don't see a reason to just throw it away because the internet said that it's beta to befriend a woman. If he can't be friends with her then he should just tell her that and not be friends and that's fine. If he can get over his feelings and be friends why not? It's going to be hard ignoring her if they study together and hang out with the same group.
All the beta insults are making your argument kind of incoherent. I know there's a point int there somewhere but it all just reads like "you're a wuss if you meet up with this girl tomorrow and/or want to be her friend!"
Yes, it's true that he needs to snap out of this infatuation. He does need to see that there are plenty of other people he could meet.
But going to this meeting does not necessarily mean clinging to a desperate hope. He can just as easily wise up, wash his face, and meet this girl face to face to hear whatever she has to say, and be like "that's totally fine, i'll talk to you later".
Running away from this meeting isn't going to kill this infatuation in his head. Neither is her telling him any variety of "I don't like you that way". He's going to get over it himself, in his own mind, by realizing it was just an infatuation and he let his thoughts and feelings get carried away.
Whether he goes to this thing or not isn't a question of getting over it, it's a question of being rude or not. I'd say that being able to face her and truly be able to say "i'm over it, no big deal" is more of a dignifying thing than avoiding her and running away.
and, no, she doesn't deserve to be treated rudely just because she's turning him down
wsoxfan1214
Banned
This is actually a great post and I've had the exact same situation happen. Listen to this man.
Also, :lol @ the guy using "beta" in a serious manner. Grow the fuck up. This isn't 4chan.
youngwerther
Banned
If it was me, I probably wouldn't go OP.
I wouldn't stand her up but I would text her or something and say that I don't need to hear why, no is all I need to hear, see you in class tomorrow.
I don't like the idea of having a "let down date". It sounds like real nightmare.
What are you two going to do, sit there and have a pleasant conversation over the finer points of why she doesn't want to be with you?
Maybe afterwards she'll pat you on the head for listening?
Fuck that.
If the main reason you are going to this is because you simply want to see her (and I'd wager that's the main factor motivating you to go), then that's a definite sign that you just shouldn't go, because it isn't going to turn out like you want it to.
I wouldn't stand her up but I would text her or something and say that I don't need to hear why, no is all I need to hear, see you in class tomorrow.
I don't like the idea of having a "let down date". It sounds like real nightmare.
What are you two going to do, sit there and have a pleasant conversation over the finer points of why she doesn't want to be with you?
Maybe afterwards she'll pat you on the head for listening?
Fuck that.
If the main reason you are going to this is because you simply want to see her (and I'd wager that's the main factor motivating you to go), then that's a definite sign that you just shouldn't go, because it isn't going to turn out like you want it to.
Rawket Lawnchair
Member
Go on Monday and endure all of it, whatever happens, happens.
After that, have a chat with yourself (NOT with GAF), and if you decide for yourself that the ship has sailed (depending on what she says to you, if she doesn't give you a real reason for not dating you then it probably has and she's looking for attention; basically your thoughts on whether to keep hanging out with her as a friend or not, depend on what happens on Monday) and that you can't endure seeing her with that other guy, sometime down the road (like late next week) let her know why you will start distancing yourself, and that's that.
Don't be afraid of rejection, it strengthens your skin a lot and prepares you for tougher situations in life.
After that, have a chat with yourself (NOT with GAF), and if you decide for yourself that the ship has sailed (depending on what she says to you, if she doesn't give you a real reason for not dating you then it probably has and she's looking for attention; basically your thoughts on whether to keep hanging out with her as a friend or not, depend on what happens on Monday) and that you can't endure seeing her with that other guy, sometime down the road (like late next week) let her know why you will start distancing yourself, and that's that.
Don't be afraid of rejection, it strengthens your skin a lot and prepares you for tougher situations in life.
OP doesn't have to kill the friendship but he doesn't have to save it
just bail out OP in which ever way or time is most convenient for you srsly
or you can keep going and see where the train take you...
That looks kinda terrible jeebus.
honestly I know GAF will give you shit about this
but fuck it in reality do this OP
it's logical and shes not the only girl around.
it really feels like you both are just wasting each others time
OP and this girl...
record it OP if you do go though
the cringe will forever leave a mark on GAF.
Don't listen to any of the advice that says "Don't go" just man up and go with no expectations whatsoever - I mean it may be hard, but just act like your best self with the attitiude that you don't give a crap about the outcome, I've had a fairly similar experience of infatuation myself recently which ended up in rejection (she already had a BF) and just so you know, that kind of attraction you probably felt for her - does tend to fade pretty quickly after you face rejection in my personal experience.
Plus you have no idea what's going happen between you in the future - you could end up being really good friends down the track.. or in the unlikest of circumstances you could end up in a relationship with her. (I would CERTAINLY not enter in a friendship with her with the hopes of this happening though, that's not how it usually works in any rational sense
).
Plus you have no idea what's going happen between you in the future - you could end up being really good friends down the track.. or in the unlikest of circumstances you could end up in a relationship with her. (I would CERTAINLY not enter in a friendship with her with the hopes of this happening though, that's not how it usually works in any rational sense
).
killatopak
Member
but there's this "OTHER GUY" in our course who she's also friends with and he's CLOSER to her than me and has BROKEN
the TOUCH BARRIER
far more often
I couldn't wait anymore and told her how I felt about her. We talked and laughed and I was pleased she seemed really positive about it all and I told her to think about it before we were INTERRUPTED by that "OTHER GUY"
It's quite simple OP,
WE KILL THE OTHER GUY. and get you over the TOUCH BARRIER
HAhahahhaha
you know whats sad, I think on monday she is going to show up with this other guy and they will or he will give OP a heart 2 heart talk about leaving his GF the fuck alone.
sigh I can already picture the awkwardness levels at max.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
Word, though I got a chance to sleep with my friend zone buddy, kinda didn't go through with it as I didn't have a condom, but she had a coil implant , ohh well.. Still I learnt from it.
youngwerther
Banned
Good thing I'm bringing ricin then.
TacticalFox88
Banned
Okay, best bet? Go to the meeting so A)She won't think you as rude and only wanted the pussy. and B)So you know exactly where she stands. Asks questions if you have too. But make sure you ask EVERY possible question you can think of to have as much closure.
Then after the meeting is over, and you GENUINELY and ABSOLUTELY feel you CANNOT be "just friends" with her, man up, and then tell her. If she understands, great. If she doesn't, then that means she wasn't worth it in the first place.
Then after the meeting is over, and you GENUINELY and ABSOLUTELY feel you CANNOT be "just friends" with her, man up, and then tell her. If she understands, great. If she doesn't, then that means she wasn't worth it in the first place.
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