GAF, I'm 100% sure I'm getting friendzoned on Monday

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Kopite said:
Sheesh it's not that bad. It's difficult for me to meet anyone who doesn't study at my Uni. This being the mid sem break also means it's my quietest.
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You just said you go to somewhere with one of the biggest malls/shopping areas/socializing districts. And you go to a school. You have every chance to meet people other than the two goobers you've wrapped your life around for a month.
 
Kopite said:
Sheesh it's not that bad. It's difficult for me to meet anyone who doesn't study at my Uni. This being the mid sem break also means it's my quietest.
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Well if it's not that bad then stand up to your parents and tell them you're going out tonight. Let em know when you'll be back and that you won't get drunk (maybe that's a lie) but you gotta do something besides stewing there in your own rejection.

That shit's unhealthy.
 
xxracerxx said:
Yeah, but what about going out at night with a girl?

I hear they like that.
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I'm an expert said:
You just said you go to somewhere with one of the biggest malls/shopping areas/socializing districts. And you go to a school. You have every chance to meet people other than the two goobers you've wrapped your life around for a month.
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I'm not saying I don't have a chance and I do intend to meet a whole lot more people.I'm just saying that's a hell of a lot easier to do when I'm at Uni, not when I have the week off.
 
I didn't even know a touch barrier existed. I touch girls all the time and never had one tell me off about it. I'm just a very playful guy. For instance, I'll like pat them on the back jokingly when they goof or karate chopping their neck when they look up, sometimes tilt their drink back when they are sippin on somethin, and other odd ways to make physical contact.

But is telling a girl really something that's required? I feel like flirting, contact, and body language give the signs away...
 
StickSoldier said:
I'll like pat them on the back jokingly when they goof or karate chopping their neck when they look up, sometimes tilt their drink back when they are sippin on somethin, and other odd ways to make physical contact.
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Holy shit, you are the kid who pulled pigtails in elementary school all grown up.
 
Kopite said:
I'm not saying I don't have a chance and I do intend to meet a whole lot more people.I'm just saying that's a hell of a lot easier to do when I'm at Uni, not when I have the week off.
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So you're saying right now it's some sort of fall break and because you have no school all week you are trapped in your house.

So, lol, again, had the girl said yes you would have had to tell her you guys will technically have to start after this week..right?

I love this thread.
 
xxracerxx said:
Holy shit, you are the kid who pulled pigtails in elementary school grown up.
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Haha, nah man, that was when girls had cooties and guys were icky; I wouldn't even get close to girls in elementary. I like to think of it more as flirting at my age. It's worked for me so far, so I must be doing something right.
 
marrec said:
What are you going to do for your week off?
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Obviously spent Monday at the Uni/mall. Had some distant relatives over today, showed them the City and all. I'll go for a movie by the end of the week and spend the rest of it gaming,studying and doing my assignments.
 
I'm an expert said:
So you're saying right now it's some sort of fall break and because you have no school all week you are trapped in your house.

So, lol, again, had the girl said yes you would have had to tell her you guys will technically have to start after this week..right?

I love this thread.
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I had Monday off too yet I spent all day at the Uni. I could have done that everyday and go anywhere in the city where my Uni is located in.
 
Kopite said:
I've got to bring up the I'm Asian part here again.
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I'm Asian too, 18, and my dad a few weeks ago threw food on the ground and made me pick it up because I bought my textbook online instead of physical copy. I know how you feel, so listen to me: Don't be naive.

I also have to commute an hour to Uni, live with my parents, etc.

I know how it feels as an Asian to be boxed up in your parents' grip. What you have to do a lot of the times, as bad as it sounds, is manipulate them if they're being incredibly unreasonable. You can't live your life in a box or else your personality and brain will deteriorate because of it. Your parents mean well, but you've got to know what's good for yourself too.

Tell them you have study group or whatever and instead go out with friends or join a club or something! Of course, you can't do this all the time but you also can't stay like this as well.

You done fucked up OP because you have no experience. I know the feeling. My advice now is to go out and get some.
 
Kopite said:
Obviously spent Monday at the Uni/mall. Had some distant relatives over today, showed them the City and all. I'll go for a movie by the end of the week and spend the rest of it gaming,studying and doing my assignments.
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Here's what I don't get. If you can go to a movie, what's stopping you from going out and doing something socially productive?

Lets build a scenario:

You say "I'm going downtown for a few hours, see yall when I get back!"

What would your parents do?
 
marrec said:
Here's what I don't get. If you can go to a movie, what's stopping you from going out and doing something socially productive?
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The going out to a movie part only works if I'm going out to watch one with a friend who can give me a ride. Otherwise i can hitch a ride with my dad and watch a movie alone. I can drive but i don't have a car that I can use often.

Well give me some suggestions here. My dad's got work tomorrow while I've got the day off. He'll leave the car at home so I can use it. What do I do?

marrec said:
Here's what I don't get. If you can go to a movie, what's stopping you from going out and doing something socially productive?

Lets build a scenario:

You say "I'm going downtown for a few hours, see yall when I get back!"

What would your parents do?
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Where are you going, who are you going with, how are you getting there and why?
 
Kopite said:
The going out to a movie part only works if I'm going out to watch one with a friend who can give me a ride. Otherwise i can hitch a ride with my dad and watch a movie alone. I can drive but i don't have a car that I can use often.
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What about public transportation? You are 20, you don't need a ride from your dad.
 
xxracerxx said:
What about public transportation? You are 20, you don't need a ride from your dad.
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Extremely difficult in my town especially after dark and walking anywhere is unsafe around here. I've been mugged twice.

It's so much easier getting around in the city where my Uni is located.
 
Kopite said:
The going out to a movie part only works if I'm going out to watch one with a friend who can give me a ride. Otherwise i can hitch a ride with my dad and watch a movie alone. I can drive but i don't have a car that I can use often.

Well give me some suggestions here. My dad's got work tomorrow while I've got the day off. He'll leave the car at home so I can use it. What do I do?
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No public transport?

It's hard to suggest when I don't know where you live, but if you can get to where your Uni is then you go to the common building and find a bulletin board and scan around that for the most interesting thing you can.

You could always just go to whatever constitutes 'downtown' for your area. See a real show, not a movie, go to the dorms and see if you can crash a party, go to the mall and see if they're hiring out part-time (in efforts to move out).

Get on the internet, search for "reddit/(yourcityname)" and see if anything pops up. Same for "meet ups in (yourcityname)". Like I said, I guarantee there's some cafe somewhere in your Uni city thats having a reading, probably multiple. Sit in on that and try to meet some new people.
 
Kopite said:
Met this girl who's doing the same course as me at Uni about a month ago and fell hard for her. She was the first girl I've ever fell for and because we shared plenty of the same interests(games) we became friends immediately but there's this other guy in our course who she's also friends with and he's closer to her than me and has broken the touch barrier far more often.

Anyway her birthday was on Saturday(That's yesterday for me now, it'll still be Saturday for most of you) and I planned a surprise birthday party for her on Friday. So I came early, gave her the gift she wanted and we hugged. So at this point, I couldn't wait anymore and told her how I felt about her. We talked and laughed and I was pleased she seemed really positive about it all and I told her to think about it before we were interrupted by that other guy.

So throughout the day we were still talking and joking and in my naivete I thought things were going great and a yes was forthcoming as soon as we managed to get alone. But by the end of the day I kinda sensed that it wasn't going that way and when I reminded her of what I asked she simply told me "I'll tell you why tonight." That kind of hit me hard and I was pretty hurt then.

So then I said my goodbyes after which we hugged again and I went home. We chatted a bit on Facebook, and she gave me all the signals that she was gonna say no while still joking and talking about games(she also noticed that I looked sad towards the end earlier) but never explicitly stated so. She finally asked me to meet her for drinks on Monday so she could explain everything(her literal words) and I agreed.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking or why I'm posting this, a part me(hell probably all of me) still sees a tiny chance to make this work. I think I'll have to tell her that I'll not hang out with her as often and want some time apart from each other. This isn't because I don't enjoy her company anymore,I really do. But seeing her with this other guy(even though they're not dating yet, I'm certain their going to) just hurts too much. I also got some advice that distancing yourself is kinda important to anyone wanting to escape the friendzone. I don't think I'll stop loving her if we continue hanging out, I just keep being reminded of why I love her every time we're together.

I guess I've done goofed here. And I know I might sound pathetic or a 'beta bitch' and that I should man up and move on but damn It's just so fucking difficult GAF. I really love this girl. I guess I'll keep you updated about what happens after this.
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Throwing her a surprise party is both very sweet and equally very strange. So basically you are upset that a person might have a life before you and her met at school and that she isn't going to stop her life because you have had a crush on her for a month. It's not her fault that you have over invested in the situation.
 
OP you need to create a guy friend who lives relatively local to you, that doesn't drive and that likes watching movies. Then you need to start driving you and him to town to watch movies except instead of watching movies with your imaginary guy friend you will be exploring the social scene in your town and finding things you like to do, meeting new people.

Your parents are none the wiser, just like that.
 
SHIT said:
I really love this girl......

YOU'VE KNOWN HER FOR A FRIGGIN MONTH...
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Whatever he is banned for, I agree with this post. First one nails it again.

You don't really love her when it has only been a month. Sure you like her, she seems awesome, but you don't really know her enough to say you actually love her. More of a lustful infatuation.

My opinion anyway.
 
Any way a mod can lock this thing? It's been ugly for a few pages now and the OP seems like a decent guy, just very naive. But we've all been there to done extent. Let him be now.
 
Sounds a bit like that even if the girl did say 'yes', it wouldn't have worked out with the OP anyhow due to his restrictive lifestyle.

Before you go looking for a girl, you may want to make sure you have more freedom or live on your own.
 
Kopite said:
I hate to say it but the way I'm forced to live my life I'm not really free to do any of that shit. I live at home and travel to campus daily when there's class so there's that. At home I can't go out and I don't have many friends where I live( about an hour from my Uni and I've never gone to school here or anything so I barely know anyone).

And worst of all I can't just go out...because my parent's won't let me. Yes, that's how I live. I'm fucking miserable most of the time.
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Jesus Christ. You have a lot of problems in your life - a girl isn't going to solve anything. Work on yourself. Move out. Be a man.
 
RELIGHT said:
Any way a mod can lock this thing? It's been ugly for a few pages now and the OP seems like a decent guy, just very naive. But we've all been there to done extent. Let him be now.
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No no no no... dude needs legitimate advice on how to handle his parents and meet new people. Lets not waste this opportunity. I wanna see if we can get him into a new scene by the end of the week.
 
marrec said:
No no no no... dude needs legitimate advice on how to handle his parents and meet new people. Lets not waste this opportunity. I wanna see if we can get him into a new scene by the end of the week.
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That's not going to work in this thread at all. I agree that this thread is a cynical, bitter mess.

If you want to offer legitimate advice just stick it in dating age and he'll read it there if he feels like it. Or better yet he'll just Google it, dl a book, or keep striking out until it works out. All of those options are better than listening to random gaffers imo. It's not like we've been vetted and anyone here knows what they're talking about for sure.
 
OP - move on. It sounds like you're young so learn from the experience and chalk it up as something you at least tried. Most people don't have the courage to ask out the opposite sex in person. Nowadays it's all done via text or social media. Good on you.

In a year from now you won't give a shit, so there's that. Remember when you thought high school was so important? Yeah.

Also please don't use 'touch barrier' again. A woman's physical boundaries isn't something for you to game. Especially with your so called friends.
 
If you aren't normal, at least pretend youre normal?

Also, why not ask your parents to hook you up with a girl? Hopefully not a cousin.
 
Will the mods please quit trying to be cute by changing the thread titles? The difference between 99% and 100% is huge. One conveys a glimmer of hope, while the other makes this thread sound like futile self-loathing. For what, a little anonymous unfunny bullying?
 
For those who are curious:

The Shuri Saga is what launched Girl Age. The cliff notes version of it starts as thus:

Shuri meets girl. Says she is hot.

They start dating.

Shuri starts venturing into other threads about guys trying to get girls and saying, "Hey I have a hot girlfriend. The secret to getting a hot girlfriend is being nice!" A lot of posters start running an internal clock in their heads until it explodes.

The explosion happens a few weeks later with a post stating, "So my girlfriend has been hanging out with her sleazy ex-boyfriend a lot lately, should I be worried?" Most posters state, "Yes." Shuri continues to believe in the girlfriend. He continues to fill in details that further confirm the posters suspicions. The saga gets lots of hits around the internet. Becomes top story on Digg.

Turns out she was sleeping with the ex-boyfriend. Shuri is ordered by bishoptl to cut off the relationship. He cuts it off. Rewarded with tag. He attempts to get back with her. Gets new shameful tag. He breaks off with her. Still stuck with shameful tag.

Then goodcow saved this part of the end of the saga:

http://www.goodcowfilms.com/farm/basement/ga-archive/shuri-ex-gf-just-called-01-26-2004.htm

After his saga wound through, lots of other folks posted their own Girl Age threads. Thus, the NEOGAF Girl Age was launched, and the hostility towards "simping" was born.
 
vas_a_morir said:
Will the mods please quit trying to be cute by changing the thread titles? The difference between 99% and 100% is huge. One conveys a glimmer of hope, while the other makes this thread sound like futile self-loathing. For what, a little anonymous unfunny bullying?
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there is a chance that she might say that she can't date him right now because she is in the process of breaking up with another guy.
 
Hey OP, as bad as that turned out (and how much cringing I did when I saw how it turned out), you'll survive and do better next time. When my girl left me, I really thought I was fine and that I wasn't affected by her leaving. However, I didn't know the extent of how badly that affected me and looking back at it, I really shake my head at what happened.

I had a few job interviews lined up after our break up, maybe 3 or 4 jobs, and I bombed them pretty hard. Not much I could do and I just needed time to heal. I didn't realize I was confused and muddleheaded during that time and that I couldn't just trudge along without being affected by what happened. So I really think you should follow everyone's advice and stay away from her even though you might be feeling that you're fine right now. You really aren't okay and you do need time away from her.

The good thing is that now I've found another girl and things are going well for us. You'll find another girl and she'll be even better than this girl.

Also, this is song describes how I feel about the ex now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QYxuGQMCuU&html5=1
 
May not seem like it now, but you'll learn from this OP and be better for it. Best advice I can give you is to act confident in yourself, even if you don't feel confident now.
 
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