The Artful Dodger
Member
I don't know if I can answer this and have it construed any way other than as a sarcastic response.
Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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I don't know if I can answer this and have it construed any way other than as a sarcastic response.
This is an artful dodge. I'll give you that.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Lol, thank you sir.
Naw to be completely honest, and actually be a real human being,
Haha, I try to mix it up. I don't want to just sit here and make fun of folks and make them feel like idiots. (If I am doing just that, or it feels like my message is malicious, just hit me up and say "too far man" or somethin') I mean most people have done stupid stuff that everyone looks at and are like, "what were you thinking?" Everybody. Some of it may not be Sonnets or stuff but everybody has a story about how they blew it with somebody by doing something.
Live and Learn, I guess. Also, don't take this stuff too seriously. I hope nobodys on here just to be malicious and make others feel like crap. Over-thinking and Over-stressing seemingly innocuous things have killed relationships or potential relationships. So being able to laugh off things helps.
Unless you're this smooth, in which case you probably don't need to be on here. Haha
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
Whole thread needs to be decontaminated.
Telephoto999
Member
ahahaha
no seriously... good luck @ thacker, report back!
Short date. Went okay. Sushi then Starbucks. Invited her over... and the excuses started. Don't think I'll see her again.
Always good experience though!
Devolution
Member
Excuses?
RedNalgene
Member
Stop hooking up with her, it seems fairly simple to me. You respect them both? You're not showing either of them any respect. Tell her that if she wants to continue cheating on him she's obviously free to do that, but you can't be in the middle of it. Can you imagine if the BF found out you were sleeping with her? You'd lose both of them as friends.
Telephoto999
Member
"I have to take my sister to school in the morning and then be at work by 9..."
Those type excuses.
We were only 10 minutes from my house too and she already drove 30 minutes to come see me.
trab pu kcip
Member
si. maybe she just wanted to slow it down a bit. I don't know if I'd be comfortable with something like this on a first date.
he doesn't sound too thrilled about the whole thing in general though...maybe the vibe wasn't right or something?
Telephoto999
Member
Probably so. I'm at such a weird place in my life. I've slept with a lot of chicks via online dating... and it just has been in my experience if they are into you from the start they don't turn down a request like that. Especially when the texting and flirting to that point was semi sexual in nature.
trab pu kcip
Member
oh so you definitely meant sex by inviting her over... well not every girl is the same. even if she was flirting, that's not a guarantee for sex on the first date. tbh I'd be rather irritated if a guy was honestly expecting that.
Telephoto999
Member
She's a lot younger too. I'm 26, she's almost 20. I'm not sure if that played into it.
Well that's not nice, how do you think that makes me feel?
trab pu kcip
Member
the poor young gal
sounds like that could've been just a bit too much for her.but right now the question is if you're even interested in anything else than sex with her
Telephoto999
Member
the poor young gal
but right now the question is if you're even interested in anything else than sex with her
Na. She just sent me a text:
her - "thanks for the food and latte"
me - "thanks for the company, good luck in your search!"
her- "you too"
I have to admit, it's fun playing mind games with younger girls... but I don't handle rejection well at all. She's been moved to the "next" pile and I deleted her number and I am cutting contact. It's kinda depressing though, considering how hot she was in person.
Some of you ought to know (me) better. And not resort to what now seem like petty insults aimed at someone's weak spots. Unnecessary.
TruckDriver
Neo Member
Maybe it's that she just met you from an online dating site? The fact alone that you (a) looked like your photos and (b) weren't creepy as fuck is friggin godsend for a lot of online dates.
I can't advocate for inviting a gal over to fuck on a first online date - she barely knows you. That's pushing it too far, imo.
Maybe you should have given it another date or two?
Anyone?
20, maybe 21? I don't think we even have an anniversary set so around that time, yeah.
TruckDriver
Neo Member
Hmm... 23. First real serious relationship, lost my v-card with her too.
Rand0m TAG
Member
something i learnt, never force the first kiss, you know when it should come. i never understood that statement until now. before i always tried to force the kiss and things gotta hella weird. with the girl im with, i didnt even think about it. we were just sitting and hugging, next thing i know it, were just looking into each others eyes, and you can feel the connection.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
grap3fruitman
Banned
Ugly duckling. Except it's more like socially awkward, loner that never learned to converse or deal with other ducks ugly duckling.
I actually met someone on Tinder the other day... She's way more into me than I am into her. And I'm assuming her photos on there were kind of old...
TurboLibre
Member
26.
Just got out of it these past couple of months though. Actually feeling a little blue these days because I still really care about her. On the plus side, I think this first relationship has helped me find my charm. So I'm not too worried about finding something better.
Devolution
Member
16. The shift from teen to adult can absolutely make for problems in a relationship though.
stn
Member
You...think you're ugly? Dude, stop being ungrateful AND treating yourself like shit. Anyway, hit that girl up and go meet her. You need practice and something new in your life. Go do it even if you're not into her.
I'm guessing most of you have read/know about my thread by now. I was originally going to post this there but I think this is the more suitable thread.
Couple of weeks ago, some of my friends bet me $100 that I couldn't get this hot girls number. Well I took that bet, managed to talk to the girl alone and well told her all about it and asked her politely if I could get her number just so I could win the bet. She did give me her number and I won a $100.
Anyway, later that night, I texted her and after a bit of chit chat I told her I owed her a drink. She told me she was going to have her exams soon but she'll be fine with it as long as it's after her exams(which ends in late November). We texted for a bit and then didn't really communicate with each other till Monday(yep that Monday) when I saw her in campus. She texted me later and we spend some time texting and I reminded her about us going for a drink some day and she said that we definitely should soon.
Well today she told me that her next exam is only on next Wednesday and after spending some time at home today she'll be back on campus tomorrow. In a completely seperate development, I received a call from my Uni this morning asking me to hand in a document pertaining to my student loan tomorrow.
So I've got to head to Uni tomorrow, when most of my friends have the week off and probably won't be around and this girl will be on campus too(although she'll probably be studying with friends). Should I ask her to go for lunch together or something? And if so, how? Thanks.
Couple of weeks ago, some of my friends bet me $100 that I couldn't get this hot girls number. Well I took that bet, managed to talk to the girl alone and well told her all about it and asked her politely if I could get her number just so I could win the bet. She did give me her number and I won a $100.
Anyway, later that night, I texted her and after a bit of chit chat I told her I owed her a drink. She told me she was going to have her exams soon but she'll be fine with it as long as it's after her exams(which ends in late November). We texted for a bit and then didn't really communicate with each other till Monday(yep that Monday) when I saw her in campus. She texted me later and we spend some time texting and I reminded her about us going for a drink some day and she said that we definitely should soon.
Well today she told me that her next exam is only on next Wednesday and after spending some time at home today she'll be back on campus tomorrow. In a completely seperate development, I received a call from my Uni this morning asking me to hand in a document pertaining to my student loan tomorrow.
So I've got to head to Uni tomorrow, when most of my friends have the week off and probably won't be around and this girl will be on campus too(although she'll probably be studying with friends). Should I ask her to go for lunch together or something? And if so, how? Thanks.
youngwerther
Banned
"Hey, I'll be on campus tomorrow. Lunch?"
There are several things about the way you got her number that bother me.
First is you say you "managed to talk to her alone". That's a big red flag I think. It shouldn't matter whether she's alone or not.
Second, you literally told her you wanted her number just to win a bet. Now you are trying to set things up with said number. I don't get it.
There are several things about the way you got her number that bother me.
First is you say you "managed to talk to her alone". That's a big red flag I think. It shouldn't matter whether she's alone or not.
Second, you literally told her you wanted her number just to win a bet. Now you are trying to set things up with said number. I don't get it.
1) Meant that I managed to talk with her away from my friends otherwise I couldn't tell her about the bet.
2) Getting her number was just to win a bet. I had absolutely no interest to do anything else especially as I was still infatuated with that other girl. All I did was just to thank her and apologising if I offended her and I simply said I owe her a drink. We've texted a bit since and I just wondered if I should ask her to go grab some lunch with me since I'll be at Uni while my friends will be away.
19 or 20, depending how you look at it. It was almost a 3-year relationship, but I don't remember us ever officially stating that we're going out (we never had any anniversaries either). Over the summer before my 20th we started doing a lot more relationshipy things rather than just hanging out, but it wasn't until just after my 20th that she told her friends we're boyfriend/girlfriend (I never asked her out because I was shy as fuck about that kind of thing back then; it sort of just happened naturally).
I haven't read it yet, it got too big for me, too fast. Go for the lunch invitation, why not?
You've pushed a lot already for the drink so don't expect too much here. Pushy guys aren't sexy. How, well you're gonna have lunch either way right? Ask her to tag along.grap3fruitman
Banned
He's half-assed pushy though, which NeoGAF never helped me realize. You may be suggesting something to do but you're still being indecisive as hell and I really wish someone had pointed this out to me sooner.
Compare:
"We should go to lunch sometime."
to
"I'm going to ___________ for lunch, you should come."
With the first suggestion, the one everyone is giving, she's thinking "Yeah, well let me know once you figure out details."
Comprende?
Then again, I'm the last person that should be giving advice on the subject so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.
Compare:
"We should go to lunch sometime."
to
"I'm going to ___________ for lunch, you should come."
With the first suggestion, the one everyone is giving, she's thinking "Yeah, well let me know once you figure out details."
Comprende?
Then again, I'm the last person that should be giving advice on the subject so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.
trab pu kcip
Member
that sounds kinda douchy. you should be upfront with what you want right from the start
The latter was what I was implying at least. Could've been clearer I suppose.
Well, he did say the flirting and texting was semi-sexual in nature. I imagine the girl was somewhat aware what could have happened, just that the chemistry wasn't there in person....or he wasn't up to her standards in real life.
trab pu kcip
Member
lol what the hell does semi-sexual even mean...sounds pretty vague to me.
I don't know..I just think being clear about your intentions from the start prevents any possible misunderstandings and is the best way to go. why make a fuss about it if sex is the only thing you want anyway
Wolfgunblood Garopa
Member
Jumped in here from the other thread.
I'm shocked at all the wrong things you managed to accomplish when you approached her particularly your insistence on explaining every little detail to her. Jesus.....
Nevertheless we'll salvage what we can.
You say she'll be on campus but probably studying with friends. When people are studying on campus normally they either grab a quick lunch, or grab a lunch with her friends she's studying with. It is unlikely unless she's really into you that she takes a break from her friends to go and find you and eat lunch with you.
I believe you should ask her 'when she is free?' this way she'll tell you when she is free and you can organise to meet her at the time she wants to be entertained. If she says she's busy all week and the next you can say good bye and forget about texting her again.
The Artful Dodger
Member
I can see what you're saying but sometimes it really doesn't matter. I don't always ask girls to hang out with the intention of dating them, because to be honest I don't always know them well enough for me to know whether or not it's worth while. So when I do ask girls out sometimes it's in a more casual friendly way to get to know them. I've had it work both ways when hanging out or asking them out in a much more direct way right off the bat.
I thought so too. Idk, Thacker seemed to be looking for something specific and when he didn't get it, lost all interest. There are hook-up sites as well.
Definitely. Go for it man. Best of Luck!
Maybe that kind of things are better off left vague on a forum like this.
"Don't think I'll see her again. Always good experience though! " - don't think this is really what I'd call "making a fuss"
I really doubt he lured her on a date with false promises, people go on dates and see where things go from there. Nothing wrong with that.
trab pu kcip
Member
yeah except he didn't do that. he went there exclusively to have sex from what I gathered. so why not just tell her right away, it's way more efficient for both people involved.
I mean we don't know...maybe she was really interested in getting to know him as a person but was intimidated by how fast things were going.
then again maybe she wasn't but not knowing this kinda thing is exactly the problem if you're not upfront about what you want, and you definitely can be upfront with this stuff. there's no need to disguise it or be hesitant, either she's in it for the sex as well or she's not, that's it.
I like how you exclude the possiblitiy of the girl being open to hooking up, but the chemistry just not being there.
I've had a girl visit me that came strictly to hang out and hook up but I just couldn't bother to make it happen since she wasn't my type in person (personality wise)
The "semi-sexual flirting" is what makes me still think that things could have gone that way.
Oddly enough the best and happiest relationships that I know have started from a fwb kind of deal.
trab pu kcip
Member
not excluding it, it's totally possible. just saying it's not the only possibility + if you express your intentions directly you don't have to wonder about that stuff in the first place.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
I love it when someone says they enjoy playing mind games and then lament the fact they can't find someone to date. Pro Tip #1: No one enjoys mind games.
trab pu kcip
Member
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