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[Raiden]

Sounds like you just need to make a fysical move man. From what i got from your post she does seem into you but a bit shy to make first moves fysically.

Also how drunk were you? I would not make a move on a drunk person while being sober. Its weird and annoying and it feels like you would take advantage anyway.


On that note i kinda have some issues lately as well.

I just cant keep myself interested in any of the girls that i meet. I ended up with a gorgeous blonde girl about two weeks ago, she slept over at my place. Got her number but i did not really care to text her. I randomly bumped into her a couple of days later from that night and she seemed really excited to see me. Talked a bit and when we went our ways i said to her "hey i'll get in touch so we can meet sometime" she said sounds great.

Did not do anything for over a week until i got a bit tipsy and just wanted to get laid. She seemed excited to hear about me because she jokingly said "Oh hi! I thought you were dead or something like that "

Then there is this other girl that i met also a couple of weeks ago, we ended up kissing one night and things hit off from there but i cancelled a get together because i didnt feel like it.

I think its because i ran into my biggest crush for over 2 years and ended up kissing her(again) and virtually lost all interest in other girls, even for sex.

This sounds stupid but i feel like i'm wasting my good time because of this one girl i should totally ignore anway. But i'm too weak to say no to her. She has no idea how much control she has over me jesus ..

 

[sssstententen]

Sounds like you just need to make a fysical move man. From what i got from your post she does seem into you but a bit shy to make first moves fysically.

Also how drunk were you? I would not make a move on a drunk person while being sober. Its weird and annoying and it feels like you would take advantage anyway.


On that note i kinda have some issues lately as well.

I just cant keep myself interested in any of the girls that i meet. I ended up with a gorgeous blonde girl about two weeks ago, she slept over at my place. Got her number but i did not really care to text her. I randomly bumped into her a couple of days later from that night and she seemed really excited to see me. Talked a bit and when we went our ways i said to her "hey i'll get in touch so we can meet sometime" she said sounds great.

Did not do anything for over a week until i got a bit tipsy and just wanted to get laid. She seemed excited to hear about me because she jokingly said "Oh hi! I thought you were dead or something like that "

Then there is this other girl that i met also a couple of weeks ago, we ended up kissing one night and things hit off from there but i cancelled a get together because i didnt feel like it.

I think its because i ran into my biggest crush for over 2 years and ended up kissing her(again) and virtually lost all interest in other girls, even for sex.

This sounds stupid but i feel like i'm wasting my good time because of this one girl i should totally ignore anway. But i'm too weak to say no to her. She has no idea how much control she has over me jesus ..

I don't know the situation with the crush, but you can either throw logic to the wind and put all your efforts into getting her, or cut her off completely. Really the only two scenario's I can see you being happy with. I know the feeling, when a certain girl you want is on your mind its hard to be interested in anyone else.

 

[Raiden]

I don't know the situation with the crush, but you can either throw logic to the wind and put all your efforts into getting her, or cut her off completely. Really the only two scenario's I can see you being happy with. I know the feeling, when a certain girl you want is on your mind its hard to be interested in anyone else.

A pretty terrible situation. We both cheated on our gf/bf with each other, but atleast i came clean and ended my relationship. Kept seeing her a good while after that but she never did the same.

I pretty much told her to leave me alone because and i went my way and she hers(with him). Deleted her number, deleted her from FB and all was good. Never got her out of my mind though.

She tried to make contact a few times and i was able to ignore it until one night where i was already out with a friend and i caved. Ended up kissing that night, but nothing more. She told me she misses me blahblah, also gave me the impression that she was not with him anymore even though i never asked. The problem is without trying to make it sound cheesy and corny but she makes me feel so alive. I cant compare it with anything else. Everything seems so bland and boring but being with her i get nervous and excited like a 16 year old getting his first kiss or something like that.

After that night i was pretty pissed at myself for doing this to myself and the week after that she texts me again to meet. I finally got the balls to blow her off and say that i dont see the point in seeing her while she's still with him. To which she replies that i was my decision back then to stop seeing her, so now shes putting the blame on me .. Told her to leave it at this because i didnt feel like discussing it and that was that.

Now last weekend i bumped into her again at a bar and pussied out, she asked me if i was mad and i was like nope. Chatted a bit and when we left she told me if i wanted to grab drinks or something i should text her.

Now i didnt, and i dont plan on really but i'll probably cave in if she does. And i know this is full of red flags of dont but on the other hand i might regret it if i cut her loose completely. And while she cheated so did i and i'm very confident when i say i'll never make that mistake again. People might think cheaters will always cheat, but i know i'll never do it again. A lesson learned.

 

[n64coder]

There's a lot of stuff about yesterday that was weird. She was here for about 2 hours but it seemed like 15 minutes and I don't have 2 hours worth of memory from while she was here. I'm not really sure what we did.

It could be that you had a good time and time just flew.

I was sure she was REALLY into me, but I figured if she came over she would try to do something. But really she just seemed kind of nervous and focused on the test. I felt like maybe I should have tried something but I didn't want to bother her if her mind was on the test so much.

Some girls are experienced with guys and know how to give the right signals or make a move. Other girls want a guy to make a decision or make the move. I think she's probably the latter type.

I want to talk to her more but not really sure what to say.

Just contact her in a couple of days and setup a date where you can talk more face-to-face.

But on the other hand, if she doesn't care at all, why does she bother replying with these novel-sized, very warm and endearing messages about how she wants to meet up and it would be so fun? She always seems overjoyed that I have texted her but we never meet up.

Last night when I texted her, she said "Oh wow, I was literally just thinking about you.."

I mean wtf is that? You were thinking about me yet you wouldn't have texted me if I hadn't texted you.

She's probably doesn't know how to ignore people or just say she's not interested. If you're doing all the work, then I think it's a clear sign that she has a low level of interest. Time to move on.

 

[EarsOfASnake]

A pretty terrible situation. We both cheated on our gf/bf with each other, but atleast i came clean and ended my relationship. Kept seeing her a good while after that but she never did the same.

I pretty much told her to leave me alone because and i went my way and she hers(with him). Deleted her number, deleted her from FB and all was good. Never got her out of my mind though.

She tried to make contact a few times and i was able to ignore it until one night where i was already out with a friend and i caved. Ended up kissing that night, but nothing more. She told me she misses me blahblah, also gave me the impression that she was not with him anymore even though i never asked. The problem is without trying to make it sound cheesy and corny but she makes me feel so alive. I cant compare it with anything else. Everything seems so bland and boring but being with her i get nervous and excited like a 16 year old getting his first kiss or something like that.

After that night i was pretty pissed at myself for doing this to myself and the week after that she texts me again to meet. I finally got the balls to blow her off and say that i dont see the point in seeing her while she's still with him. To which she replies that i was my decision back then to stop seeing her, so now shes putting the blame on me .. Told her to leave it at this because i didnt feel like discussing it and that was that.

Now last weekend i bumped into her again at a bar and pussied out, she asked me if i was mad and i was like nope. Chatted a bit and when we left she told me if i wanted to grab drinks or something i should text her.

Now i didnt, and i dont plan on really but i'll probably cave in if she does. And i know this is full of red flags of dont but on the other hand i might regret it if i cut her loose completely. And while she cheated so did i and i'm very confident when i say i'll never make that mistake again. People might think cheaters will always cheat, but i know i'll never do it again. A lesson learned.

This is quite the minefield of a situation you have right here. I would say you need to let it go but it doesn't look like that is something you are going to do. So, in that case just make sure you look after yourself first and take care of #1 because you're in for a hell of a ride.

 

[nOoblet16]

Embarrassed of what? If just flirting embarrasses you, of course people don't reciprocate. People want someone who's confident in who they are and what they want, same as you do.

I am confident in who I am but I am embarrassed to flirt because I don't want to say/do something and then realise it's not their cup of tea, since not everyone likes that. I've had conversation where even light flirting was reciprocated negatively, so go figure !

More importantly, I don't feel comfortable flirting with someone who I've literally known for just minutes. Maybe it's just me but I do not understand why someone even needs to flirt to show that they are interested. Can't that come later? like maybe when the two people actually know each other more than just each other's name and what they do? I feel like I am at a serious disadvantage here because I try to avoid flirting entirely in the very first meet.

The reason I'm kind of fed up is because I've had rejections for the most absurd reasons you can think of like "too sensitive", "too nice", "too posh" (I swear this actually happened) and here's the best one, getting rejected because I was friends with someone they liked a lot in the past....Jesus !

 

[youngwerther]

It could be that you had a good time and time just flew.



Some girls are experienced with guys and know how to give the right signals or make a move. Other girls want a guy to make a decision or make the move. I think she's probably the latter type.

Well I didn't see her today but we are meeting up tomorrow to work on homework.
Not sure what my game plan should be.
Not even really sure what I want.

 

[Valus]

Well I didn't see her today but we are meeting up tomorrow to work on homework.
Not sure what my game plan should be.
Not even really sure what I want.

Maybe you should stop thinking about her and what she wants for a bit and start thinking about what you want? You're so focused on her that you're forgetting about yourself. It sounds to me that you want her, why are you not so sure now?

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

This new girl, I've been talking to seems really cool and we are realy hitting it off while chatting. We might be meeting up in the next couple of days. Im keeping an open mind here. At least, it has gotten my mind off of B, who I still haven't heard from. I'm not sure if I will text her tomrrow to try and touch base or maybe stay in no contact mode unless she messages me. I'm starting to come to terms that the best I can do with B is to give her space and leave the future of her and i to the fates and what she decides.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Seems like I have started a lot of my posts lately with "I'm gonna regret this", and here I go again. But as I have now finally started dating this needs to be addressed at some point.

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

So, I guess I'm wondering, has anyone here been in this situation? How did you handle it? What did the girl think? Should I be upfront about it, or just try to be confident and pretend that I know what I'm doing? That seemed to work when asking her out, as well as on the dates we have been to and when we made out on the last date, but I'm guessing it's much more difficult to fake confidence when going the whole way for the first time than when kissing for the first time.

 

[zeemumu]

Embarrassed of what? If just flirting embarrasses you, of course people don't reciprocate. People want someone who's confident in who they are and what they want, same as you do.

What if you don't ask out girls because you don't want things to be awkward if they say no because you're in a situation where you see them frequently?

 

[Valus]

Seems like I have started a lot of my posts lately with "I'm gonna regret this", and here I go again. But as I have now finally started dating this needs to be addressed at some point.

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

So, I guess I'm wondering, has anyone here been in this situation? How did you handle it? What did the girl think? Should I be upfront about it, or just try to be confident and pretend that I know what I'm doing? That seemed to work when asking her out, as well as on the dates we have been to and when we made out on the last date, but I'm guessing it's much more difficult to fake confidence when going the whole way for the first time than when kissing for the first time.

The first time I was in bed with a girl I got so nervous that I couldn't get it up. The battle was over before it even started because of all the stress I built up internally beforehand. She was obviously disappointed, but she really liked me and was actually more worried that something was wrong than anything else.

If you're going to fake it and pretend you know what you're doing, my advice is to not overthink shit beforehand. Jack off a couple hours before she comes over (so you last longer than a minute if it happens) and seriously, seriously don't overthink shit. My pride was crushed about as much as Vegeta's when he got wrecked by Android 18 after finally becoming super saiyan.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

The first time I was in bed with a girl I got so nervous that I couldn't get it up. The battle was over before it even started because of all the stress I built up internally beforehand. She was obviously disappointed, but she really liked me and was actually more worried that something was wrong than anything else.

If you're going to fake it and pretend you know what you're doing, my advice is to not overthink shit beforehand. Jack off a couple hours before she comes over (so you last longer than a minute if it happens) and seriously, seriously don't overthink shit. My pride was crushed about as much as Vegeta's when he got wrecked by Android 18 after finally becoming super saiyan.

There is some good advice here, but since statistically every guy has performance issues of some sort the first time, it might be best if he is honest with her about his virginity. If she likes him it won't be a huge issue and might ease some of the potential tension ther.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I am confident in who I am but I am embarrassed to flirt because I don't want to say/do something and then realise it's not their cup of tea, since not everyone likes that. I've had conversation where even light flirting was reciprocated negatively, so go figure !

More importantly, I don't feel comfortable flirting with someone who I've literally known for just minutes. Maybe it's just me but I do not understand why someone even needs to flirt to show that they are interested. Can't that come later? like maybe when the two people actually know each other more than just each other's name and what they do? I feel like I am at a serious disadvantage here because I try to avoid flirting entirely in the very first meet.

The reason I'm kind of fed up is because I've had rejections for the most absurd reasons you can think of like "too sensitive", "too nice", "too posh" (I swear this actually happened) and here's the best one, getting rejected because I was friends with someone they liked a lot in the past....Jesus !

Worrying about saying or doing things is the opposite of confidence. If you're being yourself with your sense of humor and your personality and someone doesn't respond positively, they aren't someone you want around anyway, right?

The reasons people are giving you for rejecting you are generally them being polite, and it sounds like they're all saying the same thing, that you are soft and not confident. "too sensitive" and "too nice" probably means just that they found you boring, and if you're so worried about how they'll react that you aren't being confident and outgoing, why wouldn't they find you boring? Someone that meekly approaches me and isn't actively trying to be engaging and funny isn't someone I'd want to date.

What if you don't ask out girls because you don't want things to be awkward if they say no and you're in a situation where you see them frequently?

Some people don't ask out people in the same social circle, that's not a reflection of confidence, they just don't like to shit where they eat, so to speak. If someone doesn't want to risk that awkwardness, they need to not fixate on anyone in their social circle.

 

[Furio53]

Seems like I have started a lot of my posts lately with "I'm gonna regret this", and here I go again. But as I have now finally started dating this needs to be addressed at some point.

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

So, I guess I'm wondering, has anyone here been in this situation? How did you handle it? What did the girl think? Should I be upfront about it, or just try to be confident and pretend that I know what I'm doing? That seemed to work when asking her out, as well as on the dates we have been to and when we made out on the last date, but I'm guessing it's much more difficult to fake confidence when going the whole way for the first time than when kissing for the first time.

I know it's hard but try to not get caught up in your own thoughts and insecurities. If it's a girl you actually do like, then be honest. Just own it. You'd be surprised at how accepting a girl who likes you can be about the situation. It's not an easy thing to do, but having a talk about it will help ease your mind a little.

Above all else, when the time comes, just try to relax and enjoy it. Think about her and not what you're doing wrong or right. Enjoy her, appreciate her, and you'll find it comes pretty naturally. Then you can start learning what each of you like and don't like and grow.

 

[zeemumu]

Some people don't ask out people in the same social circle, that's not a reflection of confidence, they just don't like to shit where they eat, so to speak. If someone doesn't want to risk that awkwardness, they need to not fixate on anyone in their social circle.

I don't just mean in your social circle, I mean just someone who, because of your daily routine, you see every day, like a coworker or someone you sit next to on the bus but never talk to.

 

[Tsukumo]

It's not really an arrangement per se. It kind of went unspoken. We both talked a lot about how we didn't want anything "serious" and things just kinda...clicked. And I went in for the kiss and she reciprocated.

So basically she is the one who came up with it. It's good you made the first move though. Ballsy.

I don't know if it's a dick move to just walk away from things.

The reason why I said it was a dick-move is because you were both on the same page and now all of a sudden you are shutting her out instead of telling her how you feel straight to her face, drawing everything to a close on your own terms. I think you don't want to tell her because you feel that once you do that, it will be really over.
The great thing about fwbs is that it's basically a "pact" on not guilt-tripping the other party with commitment requests and mind games.
I was surprised by your reaction (ignoring her) because usually this is a treatment that other posters in this thread who had fwbs experiences have received, not given.

She has him, I don't have to play into anything, and I can start dating around and being free. It seems like everyone wins. If she had feelings for me, I feel like she would try to speak to me more or at least try to spend more time with me the way she does with him.

But how do you know she gives him more attention?
I think the problem is that you want her all for yourself, not that she doesn't give you as much as she does to him.
And of course she has feelings for you. Making a move without asking "c-c-can I k-k-kiss you?" is not something anyone can pull. Again: don't trust what the random dude on an internet forum will tell you: ask the girls you know how many times they had to hear guys asking for permission before going in. The reactions alone will give you more insight than the risk-less brag of the occasional dude-bro.
Your stocks skyrocketed when you did that.

I know she hangs out with him quite a bit. These are all words of jealousy, and I think they show that I'm not really finding any of this exciting, just...hurtful.And there are no "shoulds" and "should nots". I'm not mad at her or at him, but I think it's important not to be afraid to walk away from the table when you know you're just going to wind up hurt.

Ok.

I don't think poly is for me if I feel unequal, and I definitely don't feel equal.

Well, you attracted a girl like this once (her). Chances are it will happen again.

It hurts to know that after she gets done kissing me, she's spending the night at his dorm room. As for the teasing, you're right, that was shitty of me. I'm sorry, everyone.

That wasn't directed at you, it's just something that needed to be said. I mentioned it in the reply to your post because it's just a dangerous attitude for you of all people to have: getting the weight down is no easy feat, even when you are young. Focusing on your successes is better then keeping track of other people's stumbles: the latter will make you psychologically go backward and nullify your efforts, it will create a reality in your mind where it's okay to not put any time into improving yourself because if people around aren't making progress, it's okay for you to "relax" too.

We're all growing and learning together, and that's a beautiful thing.

That's what this thread represents to me too. Again, I didn't meant it to be something specifically directed at you. I should have explained myself better.

The benefit of mistakes is that you get the chance to learn a bit about who you are. I like to think that people are kind of like cats. Their love and affection is earned, but if you're constantly calling them or trying to scoop them up, then you're suffocating them. Yes, you have to pet them occassionally (i.e. make the first move), but they'll come to you on their own if you don't pursue them and they like you enough. I'm merely done pursuing her, it's not helping me and my feelings, and she seems to be doing fine, so it's mutually beneficial.

Well, if you can be consistent with this, it will work. My fear is that sooner or later she will try to breach through your indifference, to understand what's wrong, and make all of your hurt resurface in an instant to the point of overwhelming you.

Thanks for all of your help! I really mean that. It's always nice to see a long, thought-out response. I really had to dig through and reflect on my feelings. I'm curious though, what do you suggest I do, instead?

To do that I should know what "type" of girl she is. If she is manipulative (have you seen her be manipulative to others), if she has good self-perception, if she is empathetic or not, and what type of sex talk she gives (for sex talk I mean how she talks about sex, not what she says when she is doing it ;D ).
As a general rule, if someone plays games in a fwbs situation, the best way to deal with it is to up the ante: she is dating one other guy -> you date two other girls; she doesn't want to have sex anymore unless you beg for it -> you cut contacts and ignore her completely (which is why I'm telling you it's the wrong thing to do: it's a punishment, IMO your girlfriend didn't do anything to deserve it).
If you mean how to take her "away" from the other guy, well, the only way you can do that in fwbs is to literally show her you are less jealous than he his, and wait for him to do something which looks needy. Otherwise it's impossible and any shot you'll try to give him (aggressive or passive-aggressive) will damage the image she has of you irreparably.
Speaking of which, I've been in this situation myself so talking about this stuff gives me a lot of insights. I've been in both roles: "you" and "the other guy" (which is why I'm telling you to not be so hasty in thinking he's getting "more"). It's so weird to see these dynamics from the outside and I'm glad I can find someone to talk about this stuff.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I don't just mean in your social circle, I mean just someone who, because of your daily routine, you see every day, like a coworker or someone you sit next to on the bus but never talk to.

That's two really different things. Work is work but if you're already talking to someone on a bus, what would it hurt to ask them to coffee? If they said no, it isn't like you couldn't still say hi and be an adult.

 

[Valus]

There is some good advice here, but since statistically every guy has performance issues of some sort the first time, it might be best if he is honest with her about his virginity. If she likes him it won't be a huge issue and might ease some of the potential tension ther.

I agree, I just don't think he's going to do it as he is extremely concerned about her looking down on him. Not that I blame him for it, but I don't know if he can get over that fear and admit it to her. But yeah, if she genuinely likes him and is a nice person, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to her.

That's up to you to decide, hydrophilic attack. You know her better than us - how do you think she will react to you telling her you're a virgin?

 

[etrain911]

To do that I should know what "type" of girl she is. If she is manipulative (have you seen her be manipulative to others), if she has good self-perception, if she is empathetic or not, and what type of sex talk she gives (for sex talk I mean how she talks about sex, not what she says when she is doing it ;D ).
As a general rule, if someone plays games in a fwbs situation, the best way to deal with it is to up the ante: she is dating one other guy -> you date two other girls; she doesn't want to have sex anymore unless you beg for it -> you cut contacts and ignore her completely (which is why I'm telling you it's the wrong thing to do: it's a punishment, IMO your girlfriend didn't do anything to deserve it).
If you mean how to take her "away" from the other guy, well, the only way you can do that in fwbs is to literally show her you are less jealous than he his, and wait for him to do something which looks needy. Otherwise it's impossible and any shot you'll try to give him (aggressive or passive-aggressive) will damage the image she has of you irreparably.
Speaking of which, I've been in this situation myself so talking about this stuff gives me a lot of insights. I've been in both roles: "you" and "the other guy" (which is why I'm telling you to not be so hasty in thinking he's getting "more"). It's so weird to see these dynamics from the outside and I'm glad I can find someone to talk about this stuff

She really isn't manipulative at all. She's a free spirit. She writes beautiful poetry, dances to music just because, and is just generally kind to people. Which is pretty rad. She's very empathetic and she's very compassionate. It's hard to define what sex is to her, she hasn't really told me, and I haven't asked. I don't know if it's just....fun? Maybe? Or if it means something more to her. She talks about it very casually. Actually, we met because I'm president of a club dedicated to BDSM, kink, and polyamory on campus and she's a member (but that's another story). I don't LIKE ignoring her, but I -do- know she spends her nights sleeping in this guy's bed (A mutual friend told me she talked about it. They haven't had sex yet, but she seemed disappointed by that apparently) and I guess I can't help but feel hurt that she kisses me and then goes and does something with someone else immediately after. I'm not angry at the other guy and I'm not going to stoop to taking pot-shots at him, none of this is really on his head and it isn't fair for me to act like it is. My indifference has kind-of been working. At our last club meeting she mentioned wanting to spend time with me over break (our towns are like 4 minutes apart). and she laughed at all of my jokes. She even seemed a little jealous when I mentioned I had a date this Saturday for the movies. (We're seeing Bad Grandpa, it should be kind of awesome). I just don't know what to do. Should I suggest hanging out? Should I tell her how I feel? Should I just wait out the three weeks til break? Everything I've read has told me to just steel my resolve and keep this up until she messages me first or comes to me directly asking for me to hang out, and if it never happens, it never happens, but those books are so douchey. I just don't know. I really appreciate all of your help, by the way. My goal isn't to steal her or anything, she isn't an object, and if she isn't as happy in my company as I am in hers, then I don't know that I want her in my company.

Edit: So, update. I ran into her while I was getting coffee at the library and we stopped and talked. She immediately asked me how my date went and seemed to be kind of jealous. Same thing when I mentioned how I was spending Saturday afternoon at the movies with a female friend. I, in my infinite wisdom, was high at the time (she was aware of this, we laughed about it) and I asked her about the other guy. She got kind of defensive. In an awkward sort of way. I.e. a lot of false enthusiasm which is uncharacteristic of her I think I've figured it out. She has feelings for me, but those feelings are not equal to the ones she has for the other guy, and that's fine. It isn't a contest. But, I don't need to wait around. What I'm going to do is to just go about doing my own thing and if she ever frees herself up, great, and if not, fine. I don't need to wait around for it. I can be spending my time with people who reciprocate how I feel and don't have feelings towards someone else. I don't need to fall into the pitfall of getting hooked on one person.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Seems like I have started a lot of my posts lately with "I'm gonna regret this", and here I go again. But as I have now finally started dating this needs to be addressed at some point.

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

So, I guess I'm wondering, has anyone here been in this situation? How did you handle it? What did the girl think? Should I be upfront about it, or just try to be confident and pretend that I know what I'm doing? That seemed to work when asking her out, as well as on the dates we have been to and when we made out on the last date, but I'm guessing it's much more difficult to fake confidence when going the whole way for the first time than when kissing for the first time.

Eh, I was in the exact same boat as you until a month ago. The first night she came over, due to previous late nights and such I was just completely exhausted. I was so tired that we didn't have sex and just went for some fingering/hand job. I think that got the small amount of jitters out of the way and when we did have sex at a later date it was totally fine for the most part.

I never told her I hadn't had sex before, but I'll assume she had at least some kind of guess. After a couple times it wasn't even a thing any more. One thing I will say, I am glad that it happened with someone that I am totally in love with. I can see it being a bad time if it's just some random or person that you aren't really sure about; but still, not a big deal overall.

 

[(._.)]

Just go for it. The worst that can happen is that she says no and you might be embarrassed for 10 minutes or so. But if you don't ask, you won't get a chance. Just don't take it personally if she says no and try again with someone else.

What should I ask her? If she'd like to go on a date? Or if she likes me? I'm not even sure what to ask with her.

 

[Artofwar420]

How do I not be unnecessarily jealous? I've noticed my imagination goes wild whenever there's something odd, but otherwise tiny. It's just too often, and I don't think it's healthy. I have kept my cool, but I want, instead of shutting it in, to just not feel so jealous when it's not warranted.

Random things that trigger it, I will rate them from 1 to 6, 6 being the worst:


1 - Not online on Facebook for a long time. (This one seems pretty crazy, I can see that now that I type it). ----- "You said you'll go home, why aren't you online?"

2 - Takes forever to reply. ----- "What is she up to?? With who?"

3 - Eating out with other people, sometimes guys. ----- "Glad she has friends, but why mostly guys?"

4 - Field trips with her club. (We're in college). ----- "Could something happen while in the hotel?"

5 - Complimenting other guys in front of me. ------ "Can't you control yourself? I don't go saying how hot some girls are. Would you lose control in other ways?"

6 - Close friendships with other guys from before we met. ------ "Was there something more between some of these guys? Did she like any of them?"


I'd love to hear some advice on how to best manage this. I don't go into rage at all, but it does bum me out when some of these things happen.

 

[TurboLibre]

I'd love to hear some advice on how to best manage this. I don't go into rage at all, but it does bum me out when some of these things happen.

Maybe ask yourself a couple of questions first:

Do you trust her?

Is she the type to sleep around?

Do you trust yourself if you're in similar situations?

And do you think she is happy with you?

Those were my natural thoughts when something odd was happening. Just remember that she's going to do what she's going to do. Why worry about it? If you trust her, then stop thinking about it. If you don't, well, maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship. Easier said than done, I know, but that's how I look at it.

 

[Artofwar420]

Maybe ask yourself a couple of questions first:

Do you trust her?

Is she the type to sleep around?

Do you trust yourself if you're in similar situations?

And do you think she is happy with you?

Those were my natural thoughts when something odd was happening. Just remember that she's going to do what she's going to do. Why worry about it? If you trust her, then stop thinking about it. If you don't, well, maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship. Easier said than done, I know, but that's how I look at it.

Thank you, I do trust her, except if she has a few drinks in her she gets a bit flirty. But I don't think it goes beyond that. I don't think she's the "type" to sleep around at all. I trust myself completely, even while highly intoxicated I maintain some level of control, maybe I have too high of a self-control standard?

That's the kicker, the last one. She does, a lot. But like I mentioned in a previous post, she's an international student, so her original plans were to go back when her program was done. She is happy with me, but is conflicted by the difficulty of staying here (looking for job, etc) and her desire to stay with me. In a perfect world, we could go through our relationship without the added stress that she will probably leave, or have quite a hard time adapting to something that wasn't in her plans initially.

I want to see where this relationship goes, so does she. But there are money and time issues. I can't move either. I am but a student still, so I can't help her much which makes me feel a bit impotent.


She likes me, I do as well. If we could live by love alone...

 

[The Strokes]

No, not fair towards her. But If you do something make it clear that you're not interested in something serious.

Thank you for responding. I asked a few buddies about what they thought and they all told me that I shouldn't do it since I may end up hurting her feelings. So yeah.

Oh well. Not interested in anybody right now. I'll get my shit together and then try to look for someone.

 

[level_e11even]

Seems like I have started a lot of my posts lately with "I'm gonna regret this", and here I go again. But as I have now finally started dating this needs to be addressed at some point.

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

So, I guess I'm wondering, has anyone here been in this situation? How did you handle it? What did the girl think? Should I be upfront about it, or just try to be confident and pretend that I know what I'm doing? That seemed to work when asking her out, as well as on the dates we have been to and when we made out on the last date, but I'm guessing it's much more difficult to fake confidence when going the whole way for the first time than when kissing for the first time.

It's 50/50 really. Whichever you choose will be highly dependent on how well she feels around you. If there is an emotional connection, then I think she'll be OK with you coming clean about the situation. If you think there's not much of an emotional foundation, but more of a physical attraction then I recommend you pretend. If you choose the former, then be truthful about the situation without revealing too much personal information. Women digest emotional information better when they are in chunks (the downside to that is the hold that over your head forever!).

If you go with the latter, I would jack off 30-60 minutes before fun times begin. This will ensure maximum lasting time.

 

[AdventureRacing]

Well I didn't see her today but we are meeting up tomorrow to work on homework.
Not sure what my game plan should be.
Not even really sure what I want.

Just go and have a good time with her. You're really overthinking this and it will make the whole thing less fun. Don't worry about what should or could happen, don't worry about having a gameplan. Just go there and have fun, everything else will sort itself out.

 

[AdventureRacing]

The first time I was in bed with a girl I got so nervous that I couldn't get it up. The battle was over before it even started because of all the stress I built up internally beforehand. She was obviously disappointed, but she really liked me and was actually more worried that something was wrong than anything else.

If you're going to fake it and pretend you know what you're doing, my advice is to not overthink shit beforehand. Jack off a couple hours before she comes over (so you last longer than a minute if it happens) and seriously, seriously don't overthink shit. My pride was crushed about as much as Vegeta's when he got wrecked by Android 18 after finally becoming super saiyan.

If you go with the latter, I would jack off 30-60 minutes before fun times begin. This will ensure maximum lasting time.

Gotta be careful with this method. Sure it gives you extra lasting time but it has it's drawbacks. A lot of people seem to have trouble getting it up during their first time because they're so incredibly anxious and if you've just jacked off it just makes things worse. In general i'm not a fan of doing that but i can see why people do it.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Quick update

I messaged B, this morning and we had a little chat. I pretty much laid it all out for her andbshe said she still needs to think about it. I told her to take all the time she needs to think it over. I'm now going no contact with her unless she initiates. This new girl I've been chatting with seems really cool, so she has invited me over for tomorrow night. I

 

[TylerD]

Arriving early or not being able to get it up can happen. In my experience, when there is an emotional connection there and you are willing to take care of her needs in other ways... things can still go well. For me, getting off is not as important as making sure that my partner is taken care of.

I am WAY out of practice as it is, so I won't be surprised if when that time comes again I run into problems but it will be with someone I care about and hopefully they will give me some time to get back up to speed.

Another reason why I am working out so much lately too. That will really help during sex.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Gotta be careful with this method. Sure it gives you extra lasting time but it has it's drawbacks. A lot of people seem to have trouble getting it up during their first time because they're so incredibly anxious and if you've just jacked off it just makes things worse. In general i'm not a fan of doing that but i can see why people do it.

Nerves have a really bad habit of messing up one's refractory period, so I'd stay away from that method. If you are going to use that method, leave a couple hours in between.

 

[youngwerther]

Regardless of whether things work out with the girl I've been on a couple dates with or not (I hope they will!), as I have now finally partly gotten over some of my insecurities and fears and started dating, at some point soon I will be taking a girl over to my place. That should be awesome, and I hope it will be, but it also makes me nervous.

To cut to the chase: I'm 25 and due to self-esteem issues earlier in life (being bullied early in life can fuck you up for a long time), still a virgin. Hopefully not for much longer but still. When I end up with a girl I care for in my apartment I won't really know what I'm doing, and that's likely to show, and could possibly be very awkward. Also, I'm sure she would notice and realize my situation. Being a 25 virgin carries a social stigma, and I'm sure a lot of girls would find it to be a turnoff, possibly even a dealbraker.

Wow, I could have wrote this.
One year younger than you but everything else is exactly the same.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Eh, I was in the exact same boat as you until a month ago. The first night she came over, due to previous late nights and such I was just completely exhausted. I was so tired that we didn't have sex and just went for some fingering/hand job. I think that got the small amount of jitters out of the way and when we did have sex at a later date it was totally fine for the most part.

I never told her I hadn't had sex before, but I'll assume she had at least some kind of guess. After a couple times it wasn't even a thing any more. One thing I will say, I am glad that it happened with someone that I am totally in love with. I can see it being a bad time if it's just some random or person that you aren't really sure about; but still, not a big deal overall.

This is encouraging. Thanks!

The first time I was in bed with a girl I got so nervous that I couldn't get it up. The battle was over before it even started because of all the stress I built up internally beforehand. She was obviously disappointed, but she really liked me and was actually more worried that something was wrong than anything else.

If you're going to fake it and pretend you know what you're doing, my advice is to not overthink shit beforehand. Jack off a couple hours before she comes over (so you last longer than a minute if it happens) and seriously, seriously don't overthink shit. My pride was crushed about as much as Vegeta's when he got wrecked by Android 18 after finally becoming super saiyan.

This is less encouraging, and I'm not even sure what the bolded means, lol.

I agree, I just don't think he's going to do it as he is extremely concerned about her looking down on him. Not that I blame him for it, but I don't know if he can get over that fear and admit it to her. But yeah, if she genuinely likes him and is a nice person, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to her.

That's up to you to decide, hydrophilic attack. You know her better than us - how do you think she will react to you telling her you're a virgin?

She is definitely a caring person. It shines through in the way she talks about her family and friends. Still, I'm not sure if I want to risk it. This girl should be way out of my league in most ways.

It's 50/50 really. Whichever you choose will be highly dependent on how well she feels around you. If there is an emotional connection, then I think she'll be OK with you coming clean about the situation. If you think there's not much of an emotional foundation, but more of a physical attraction then I recommend you pretend. If you choose the former, then be truthful about the situation without revealing too much personal information. Women digest emotional information better when they are in chunks (the downside to that is the hold that over your head forever!).

If you go with the latter, I would jack off 30-60 minutes before fun times begin. This will ensure maximum lasting time.

Well, the reason we started dating was because of physical attraction, I'm very sure of that. I'm not really sure why, because looks-wise, she is way out of my league. I'm not sure about emotional connection. I think that needs some time in order to grow and blossom. She seems to be the level-headed type so I have a hard time imagining her falling deeply in love in just a couple of dates. Yet, she let something slip in our second date that makes me think she considers me boyfriend material.

Arriving early or not being able to get it up can happen. In my experience, when there is an emotional connection there and you are willing to take care of her needs in other ways... things can still go well. For me, getting off is not as important as making sure that my partner is taken care of.

I am WAY out of practice as it is, so I won't be surprised if when that time comes again I run into problems but it will be with someone I care about and hopefully they will give me some time to get back up to speed.

Another reason why I am working out so much lately too. That will really help during sex.

Yeah, that's my plan. I'm thinking as long as I get her off I still win regardless of whether the penetrative part ends prematurely and embarrassingly. I plan on using my fingers and maybe mouth. From what I've gathered it shouldn't be too hard. I should focus on the clit and explore inside her with my fingers and read her signals to see how to proceed. The come hither gesture sounds like a powerful tool. I'll focus all my attention on her until I can get her to climax and not worry about myself until after that.

And good thing I've started to work out more at all, recently, although it may be too recent for it to show results.

Wow, I could have wrote this.
One year younger than you but everything else is exactly the same.

From the sound of your posts you are still in uni. It's good that you have started to turn yourself around while there are still plenty of opportunities. One of my biggest mistakes was that I stayed with my parents for far too long when I went to university. Another that I spent far too much time studying lol.

Talking about turning oneself around, has anyone else experienced a quick increase in the number of girls showing interest in you in a short amount of time? Not long ago I would have been happy to notice that a girl is interested maybe once every second year. And always proceed to fuck it up when I did, mostly because of not making a move, lol. But I must be doing something right, because over the last three months I've had maybe seven or eight girls at least showing some interest, even though most of them have been short encounters, where I very likely won't meet them again. I'm not sure if I have somehow changed, or if I'm just noticing more stuff now. If it's the latter, goddamn how I have wasted many of my golden years.

 

[Aurongel]

Alright GAF, my girlfriend is throwing a bit of a temper tantrum right now because of something dumb and I need a second opinion on it.

So my mom is in town this weekend for a family emergency regarding someone she's closely related to and she told me to keep it to myself because she doesn't want gossip/etc. After I told my girlfriend she was in town, she starts asking me why she's in town and I tell her it's a private family matter. My girlfriend then loses her shit and starts demanding to know what it's about and I tell her to show my mom some respect. She goes on and on about how she would tell me details of her family so therefore I'm obligated to do the same. Now she's all upset saying I keep secrets from her and I said she was coming across as being needlessly nosy during a tough time in my family.

It's not that I don't trust her, it's just that I'm respecting my mom's wishes of keeping this family matter private among our family.

So am I just being untrustworthy and difficult here? I need a second opinion.

 

[Jhoan]

Never thought I'd find myself going on 3 dates with 3 different women. Good times people, good times.

I'm surprised this has been ignored. That's great news man. It was only a few months ago that you were moping about not being able to go out with women because you felt insecure about your height. Love hearing success stories. Keep a positive head man.

Well, the reason we started dating was because of physical attraction, I'm very sure of that. I'm not really sure why, because looks-wise, she is way out of my league. I'm not sure about emotional connection. I think that needs some time in order to grow and blossom. She seems to be the level-headed type so I have a hard time imagining her falling deeply in love in just a couple of dates. Yet, she let something slip in our second date that makes me think she considers me boyfriend material.

And good thing I've started to work out more at all, recently, although it may be too recent for it to show results.

From the sound of your posts you are still in uni. It's good that you have started to turn yourself around while there are still plenty of opportunities. One of my biggest mistakes was that I stayed with my parents for far too long when I went to university. Another that I spent far too much time studying lol.

Talking about turning oneself around, has anyone else experienced a quick increase in the number of girls showing interest in you in a short amount of time? Not long ago I would have been happy to notice that a girl is interested maybe once every second year. And always proceed to fuck it up when I did, mostly because of not making a move, lol. But I must be doing something right, because over the last three months I've had maybe seven or eight girls at least showing some interest, even though most of them have been short encounters, where I very likely won't meet them again. I'm not sure if I have somehow changed, or if I'm just noticing more stuff now. If it's the latter, goddamn how I have wasted many of my golden years.

Going to have to disagree with the bold. No girl is ever out of one's league. It's almost like saying "I feel inferior to this woman because she has something that I don't (e.g. money, done crazier stuff, etc.)" That's completely BS. You must have done something right that caught her attention and led you to asking her out otherwise you wouldn't have been going out with her in the first place.

And as a 25 virgin myself, I don't think I'll reveal that I'm a virgin when the time comes. You don't have to tell anyone anything unless you're feeling embarrassed about it, then you can disclose it. I think ignorance is bliss, but ultimately that's up to on what to do. It sounds like you know what to do which is good since reading articles does help. Given that she's probably very experienced, it'll probably go well for you. Don't sweat it. And yes, working out does help boost your confidence.

I still live with my mother and it wouldn't be a big deal if I bring a woman over since my mother doesn't mind. However, being that I'm still in college, I'm oblivious to women hitting on me but I've been making more of an effort to talk to girls in my class but generally not expecting anything to come out of it. With me it's that I generally get preoccupied with overlapping homework assignments and I'm only in school 3 days a week this semester so I haven't gone to any social events this semester as a result. But I am involved in a club which has opened a few doors to meeting new people. I've also talking to female friends that I bump into keep from being too much of a machine and wallowing in academic stress of looming homework assignments. Years of slowly improving have increased my social skills so I'm able to make friends fairly easily while still being somewhat of a lone wolf when it comes to said serious work.

So to answer your question, I've noticed a few signals, but I've felt too self-conscious to do anything about it. My problem is that I procrastinate on asking girls out until it's too late in the semester to do anything about (I'm still doing that this semester which isn't good). However, I ha Always strive to make small talk with people in public, be yourself, and do stuff that makes you happy. It sounds like you've been making strides which is great.

 

[maxxpower]

I'm surprised this has been ignored. That's great news man. It was only a few months ago that you were moping about not being able to go out with women because you felt insecure about your height. Love hearing success stories. Keep a positive head man.

Thanks dude, and yeah I've slowly learned to not give a shit about my height. It still bothers me but I'm really confident about my personality so the least I could do is go out there and at least try.

 

[Tsukumo]

I'm surprised this has been ignored. That's great news man. It was only a few months ago that you were moping about not being able to go out with women because you felt insecure about your height. Love hearing success stories. Keep a positive head man.

Beaten. I regret not having cheered yesterday when it was appropriate, but what the hell.
Awesome stuff, maxx!

 

[Valus]

Alright GAF, my girlfriend is throwing a bit of a temper tantrum right now because of something dumb and I need a second opinion on it.

So my mom is in town this weekend for a family emergency regarding someone she's closely related to and she told me to keep it to myself because she doesn't want gossip/etc. After I told my girlfriend she was in town, she starts asking me why she's in town and I tell her it's a private family matter. My girlfriend then loses her shit and starts demanding to know what it's about and I tell her to show my mom some respect. She goes on and on about how she would tell me details of her family so therefore I'm obligated to do the same. Now she's all upset saying I keep secrets from her and I said she was coming across as being needlessly nosy during a tough time in my family.

It's not that I don't trust her, it's just that I'm respecting my mom's wishes of keeping this family matter private among our family.

So am I just being untrustworthy and difficult here? I need a second opinion.

No, you're not. But you can tone down the attitude a bit. Many women are insecure and don't like secrets, and you telling her to "show some respect" and saying she is "being needlessly nosy" did not help at all. Instead, why don't you just tell her that your mom asked you to not tell anyone about it and that YOU want to respect her wishes by doing so? Assure her that it will not affect your relationship at all while stressing it isn't personal at all.

 

[stn]

@maxxpower

Brilliant, very happy for you. See how much negative energy you wasted thinking about your height? Its true that its sometimes harder to attract particular women, sure; but there's always someone out there. We all go through our own difficulties, whether we're 5'0 or 6'7. Or whether we look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame or Brad Pitt.

Keep it up.

 

[TylerD]

So here we go again Dating-GAF...

As you may recall, I was going to go no contact for around 2 weeks with zombie Alice and felt much better about the situation. Then she msgs me first thing Wednesday morning and this morning. Nothing really comes of it. I ask her when is a good night to go out and get no response.

This is fucking with my head. If she is msging me before 7:30 in the morning, I read that as interest (she is thinking about me in the morning).

But if she doesn't want to see me right now, I would rather have her not msg me at all.

I'm thinking of telling her not to contact me unless she is interested in seeing me.

Thoughts?

 

[NeOak]

So here we go again Dating-GAF...

As you may recall, I was going to go no contact for around 2 weeks with zombie Alice and felt much better about the situation. Then she msgs me first thing Wednesday morning and this morning. Nothing really comes of it. I ask her when is a good night to go out and get no response.

This is fucking with my head. If she is msging me before 7:30 in the morning, I read that as interest (she is thinking about me in the morning).

But if she doesn't want to see me right now, I would rather have her not msg me at all.

I'm thinking of telling her not to contact me unless she is interested in seeing me.

Thoughts?

I say don't answer anymore.

 

[Minamu]

Yeah drop her, it's not worth the headaches. Never is.

 

[TylerD]

I say don't answer anymore.

That was another option. I kind of want the satisfaction of putting no contact into effect. She definitely knows how I feel.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

So here we go again Dating-GAF...

As you may recall, I was going to go no contact for around 2 weeks with zombie Alice and felt much better about the situation. Then she msgs me first thing Wednesday morning and this morning. Nothing really comes of it. I ask her when is a good night to go out and get no response.

This is fucking with my head. If she is msging me before 7:30 in the morning, I read that as interest (she is thinking about me in the morning).

But if she doesn't want to see me right now, I would rather have her not msg me at all.

I'm thinking of telling her not to contact me unless she is interested in seeing me.

Thoughts?

Yeah at this point you need her to either make up her mind or walk away. I had my talk with B today and told her she and i can't be friends but if she still harbours romantic feelings for me and holds any interest in dating me, she and i need to meet up, talk and try to work things up. I got another i will think about it. I told her take whatever time she needed to think it over. But in the meantime, I'm going no contact and meeting new people. The ball is in her court, if she still wants to try and make it work she will have to message me.

 

[n64coder]

What should I ask her? If she'd like to go on a date? Or if she likes me? I'm not even sure what to ask with her.

I would just ask her out to do some sort of fun activity such as going to a museum, out for lunch/dinner, some sort of quiet music like folk or piano. Find something that you would like to do and that she might enjoy. She'll figure out that you're interested in her because you want to do something with her. You want together to know her better and have fun.

If she says no, that's ok...you tried.

 

[TylerD]

I say don't answer anymore.

Yeah drop her, it's not worth the headaches. Never is.

Yeah at this point you need her to either make up her mind or walk away. I had my talk with B today and told her she and i can't be friends but if she still harbours romantic feelings for me and holds any interest in dating me, she and i need to meet up, talk and try to work things up. I got another i will think about it. I told her take whatever time she needed to think it over. But in the meantime, I'm going no contact and meeting new people. The ball is in her court, if she still wants to try and make it work she will have to message me.

Thanks guys... Do you see anything in that she keeps initiating contact with me though? Nice to remember what having feelings for someone is like but also a bitch too when a single "bloop" on your phone can elevate your heart rate 50 bpm.

 

[Howard Ballou]

Thanks guys... Do you see anything in that she keeps initiating contact with me though? Nice to remember what having feelings for someone is like but also a bitch too when a single "bloop" on your phone can elevate your heart rate 50 bpm.

You've already chased her. I'd just back off, and let her chase you if she wants something with you.

Edit: but in answer to your question, it's not really worth worrying about imo.

 

[NeOak]

Thanks guys... Do you see anything in that she keeps initiating contact with me though? Nice to remember what having feelings for someone is like but also a bitch too when a single "bloop" on your phone can elevate your heart rate 50 bpm.

In my experience, it is because she likes the attention. No deep meaning or anything, its just her texting someone that, in her mind, will answer it.

Like when you text a friend over something like a sport because you know he/she understands and will answer. Something like that.

 

[TylerD]

In my experience, it is because she likes the attention. No deep meaning or anything, its just her texting someone that, in her mind, will answer it.

Like when you text a friend over something like a sport because you know he/she understands and will answer. Something like that.

Maybe, she JUST msged me again... gahhhhh